Work Text:
People are talking.
Talking ‘bout people.
I hear them whisper,
You won’t believe it!
- Something to Talk About
Bonnie Raitt
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Liv said into her phone. “I’ll still be off in plenty of time to go with you to the movies. They don’t roll A New Hope until 8pm. I only volunteered to work until 1. Besides, lord knows we owe the early crew some favors.”
“Um, we need to be there in time for Rogue One at 5:30,” said Ravi. “And I’d like to be early. I want time to get popcorn.”
“I’ll be at your house by 4, scout's honor,” said Liv. “Now let me get to bed. I have to be at the morgue at 7am.”
“You’re going to be so bored there without me,” he said. She could practically hear his grin.
“I’ll manage. Good night, Ravi,” said Liv.
“Sweet dreams,” said Ravi, ending the call.
xxx
“You must be Dr. Moore,” the young woman said excitedly. She rushed forward to shake Liv’s hand. “It’s so good to finally meet you. I’m Dana Jones. I just started my residency here last month.” Her bright smile was infectious.
“It’s nice to meet you,” said Liv. “Please, call me Liv.” She shook her hand. “Dr. Spence spoke very highly of you when she asked if I could cover for her.”
“Angelo is going to be so excited you’re here,” Dana gushed. “That’s our intern. He’s out picking up a package that fedex rerouted by accident. He should be back in a few minutes.”
Liv blinked. “Why the enthusiasm?” she asked.
“You’re the biggest mystery around the morgue,” Dana explained chipperly. “You always work with Dr. Chakrabarti. He occasionally does odd shifts, so we’ve met him. You never do.”
Liv raised her eyebrows. If she’d had proper circulation, she’d have paled at being called a mystery. Anyone figuring her out would spell disaster. “I’m pretty ordinary,” she said. “No mystery to speak of…”
“That’s not what I heard,” said Dana.
Liv bit her lip. “What have you heard?”
“Oh, nothing bad!” Dana exclaimed, finally catching on to Liv’s discomfort. “It’s just boring down here so the romance between you and Dr. Chakrabarti keeps us …”
“The WHAT?!” Liv’s eyes were huge.
Dana blushed. “Oops. I forget we’re not supposed to know about it,” she said. “Please don’t be offended. We’d never report you guys. It’s too sweet.”
Liv swallowed hard. “Back up,” she said. “Report what, exactly?”
“You know, because he’s your boss, I mean,” said Dana. She looked almost as flustered as Liv.
“You think I’m sleeping with my boss?” Liv asked, pronouncing each word slowly in disbelief.
“Girl, no one blames you. If my boss looked like that, I’d hit it too,” said Dana.
Liv exhaled slowly, then burst into a fit of giggles. Dana looked worried. Liv held up a hand as she tried to compose herself. “He’s… he’s single if you’re interested,” she gasped out.
“What? But you two have been together for almost two years,” said Dana. She looked like Liv had just kicked a puppy.
Liv shook her head. “Ravi’s my friend, sure,” said Liv. “But we’re not together. Never have been.”
“I got it,” said a young man, coming through the loading dock doors. He held up a box. “I don’t know how Morgue Tech managed to screw up the address this bad.” He set it on one of the autopsy tables and went to trade his hoodie for a lab coat.
Liv waited for him to come back from the coat rack before offering her hand to shake. “You must be Angelo,” she said.
He grinned. “The famous Dr. Moore, I presume?”
Liv chuckled. Dana still looked crushed. “She says they’re just friends,” Dana said, pulling him aside.
“Oh, no,” said Angelo. “You’re breaking our hearts. Your love has been the highlight of the morgue gossip.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble,” said Liv. “But I am not in love with Ravi Chakrabarti. I don’t even know how anyone got that idea.”
Angelo snorted. “The only time I ever worked a full shift with him he couldn’t stop talking about you,” he said. “Plus, you two are like, always together.”
“Dr. Spence says you’re always laughing together,” Dana supplied helpfully. “And, there have been secrets ever since you started. Like the locked supply closet.”
“Not to mention, the one time I saw you from a distance as I was leaving shift… you stand really close together. He was whispering something to you,” said Angelo.
“I’m sure that did happen,” said Liv. “But really, we’re just good friends.”
Angelo and Dana looked skeptical, but let the matter drop. Dana’s phone buzzed. She looked to Liv. “We’ve got a body,” she said. “Ready to go?”
xxx
Clive Babineaux was just coming on shift when Liv came over and slumped into the chair by his desk. He raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t think I’d see you today,” he said. “Aren’t you and Ravi going to some Star Wars thing?”
“Dr. Spence is out with the flu, so I took her shift,” said Liv. “Can you hide me for a while? I need a break from the resident and the intern. I swear, I don’t remember being that young.”
Clive chuckled. “They are enthusiastic,” he said.
Liv leaned her head back on the back of the chair until she was staring straight up at the ceiling. “I wish it was just that,” she said.
“Why? What happened?” he asked.
“Apparently everyone on the early shift thinks Ravi and I are lovers,” she said miserably.
Clive laughed. When she shot him a dirty look, he clamped a hand over his mouth, but he still had to stifle a few more giggles.
Detective Cavanaugh looked over from across the aisle. “You’re not?”
Liv’s head whipped around to face him. He smiled weakly. “No offense, kid, but I’m pretty sure the whole precinct thinks that, too.”
Liv’s jaw dropped open. “What?!”
Cavanaugh had the grace to look apologetic. “It’s the way you two look at each other,” he said. “The casual touches. The private jokes. People notice. We are detectives, after all.” He shrugged. “You’ve always done a good job, so nobody cared.”
“We’re not lovers,” Liv said stiffly.
Cavanaugh shrugged again. “If you say so,” he said.
“I do say so,” said Liv. “Because it’s the truth. And Ravi and I do not ‘look at each other’ in any special way.”
Cavanaugh raised his eyebrows and made eye contact with Clive briefly. “Okay,” he said. But he didn’t sound like he believed her. She looked at Clive for support.
“Let’s go grab a coffee, Liv,” he said. He looked down at his half empty Knicks mug. “Something better than this swill. The last k-cup was mint.” He got to his feet.
Liv stood more slowly, casting one last glance back at Cavanaugh. He gave her another apologetic smile. It was definitely less “I’m sorry we all thought the wrong thing” and more “Sorry your secret’s out.”
She sighed dramatically as she caught up to Clive. He patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry about what anyone thinks,” he said. “People don’t really care whether you are or you aren’t. They just like to gossip. Bozzio and I were the big story for awhile, too.”
Liv gave him a sideways look. “You and Dale were actually together,” she said tightly.
He gave her a sad smile. “It’ll blow over, I promise,” he said.
“Apparently this has been going on since shortly after I started working here,” she said. “And it hasn’t blown over yet. Did you ever think Ravi and I...”
Clive led the way across the plaza to the coffee cart. “What would you like? I’m buying,” he said. He was worrying his lip and not meeting her eyes as he fished out his wallet.
“Oh my god,” she said. “You did!” She pulled him off to the side of the line so she could look him in the face.
He smiled sheepishly. “I don’t now ,” he said, holding up his hands. “But back before I knew about… you know, I wondered. Now that I know more about your relationship, I know better.” Liv was staring at him like he’d grown a second head. “It’s your chemistry, Liv. You guys have always been close.”
She groaned and ran a hand over her face. “This is ridiculous.”
Clive gave her a sympathetic look. “Come on,” he said. “Let me buy you a coffee.”
xxx
“You will not believe the day I’ve had,” said Liv, coming into Peyton Charles’ office with a bag of fresh sushi for a late lunch.
Peyton let out a small chuckle at the look on her face. She handed Liv one of the two bottles of water she had at the ready. “This going to be enough, or do you need me to get you something stronger?” she asked.
“Don’t tempt me,” said Liv. She plopped into one of the chairs in front of Peyton’s desk and set the bag of sushi down on the desktop.
“So, spill,” said Peyton, helping her unload their lunch. “What happened?”
“Apparently Ravi and I are the subject of office gossip at the precinct,” she said. “And with the early shift at the morgue.”
Peyton poured soy sauce into the little cup the restaurant had provided. “What sort of gossip?” she asked.
Liv gave her an uncomfortable frown. “The kind where everyone thinks I’ve been sleeping with my boss for at least a year and a half,” she said.
Peyton chuckled. “Ouch,” she said. She frowned. “Wait, do they think you’re like, getting promoted for it or something?”
“Oh, no,” said Liv. “That would almost be better. Apparently, we’re like an adorable old married couple. Everyone just thinks it’s cute!”
Peyton’s eyes crinkled with laughter. “That’s a surprisingly astute description of the two of you,” she said, breaking apart her chopsticks.
Liv tipped her head and stared at Peyton incredulously. “I’m not sleeping with Ravi,” said Liv. “You know damn well I’m not sleeping with Ravi.” She focused sourly on putting a glob of wasabi in her own soy sauce.
“I never said you were,” said Peyton. “But you and Ravi do sorta act like an old married couple. The teasing. The goofing off. I swear, I’ve seen you have whole conversations without words.”
Liv rolled her eyes. “So, we’re good friends,” she said. “Why does everyone assume there’s something elicit going on?”
“I don’t,” Peyton insisted. “I mean, I did wonder, way back when you first became a zombie. But that’s because you withdrew from everyone and I didn’t know why.”
“So you thought I was sleeping with Ravi?” Liv was mortified.
“You were being so secretive,” said Peyton. “Your boss was the only new person in your life.” She sighed. “You were spending all of your time at the morgue. I mean, it turns out something was going on. I’m sorry my first thought wasn’t zombies.”
Liv twisted her lips. “I suppose so,” she said. She looked grumpily down at her sushi.
“That’s why I was surprised at first when he asked me out,” said Peyton. “I thought it would be super weird for you if I dated your ex. Of course, he denied it when I asked him about it. And then I found out the whole truth a few weeks later.”
“Oh, god,” said Liv. “You don’t think this is what my mom thinks, do you?”
Peyton cringed and looked away.
“No,” said Liv.
“We only had one conversation about it,” said Peyton. “Like a month after the boat party. I’m sure she doesn’t still think…”
Liv flopped her head down on the desk with an audible thunk.
xxx
Liv rang the door at 217 Emerson Street. Major answered and gave her a big hug. “Hey,” said Liv. “Where’s my movie date? If he’s dressing up as a Star Wars character, I’m making him sit in a different row from me.”
Major chuckled and led her into the house. “He went to the store,” he said. “He’s probably buying snacks to sneak in with your purse.” Liv rolled her eyes. “I’m so jealous,” Major continued. “If I didn’t have to work tonight, I would so be there.”
Liv grinned. “It should be fun,” she said. “I’ve never seen any of them in theatres.” She flopped onto the couch and closed her eyes a moment.
“You want something to drink while you wait?” Major asked. “Or a brain tube?”
“You got any whole brains?” Liv asked. “I could stand to get out of my head a bit.”
“Sorry,” he said. “I haven’t brought home any since I took the cure.” He sat down on the armrest of the couch near her head. “What’s wrong?”
She looked at him upside down from her position on the couch. “It’s nothing, really,” she said. “Just some stupid rumors flying around at work.” She shifted to a sitting position and he slid onto the couch next to her.
Major took her hand. “What sort of rumors?” he asked, frowning.
She sighed and looked down at her lap. “Apparently, people think there’s something going on between me and Ravi,” Liv grumbled. “Something besides me putting up with him when he’s being annoying, which is almost always.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “It’s been a long day.”
“What kind of people?” asked Major. “No one who knows you guys well thinks you're hiding anything.”
“The early shift at the morgue,” Liv explained. “And Detective Cavanaugh.” She grimaced. “And possibly most of the precinct if he’s to be believed.”
Major kissed the top of her head. “You want me to come make out with you at the station?” he asked with a laugh. “We could start new rumors, like assistant M.E. has a thing for serial killers.”
Liv snickered. “It’s a tempting offer, but no, that’s okay,” she said. She huffed. “They’d probably think I was cheating on Ravi. This rumor has actually been circulating for more than a year. I just didn’t know about it.” She looked up at him through her lashes. “The worst is, I found out Clive used to believe it before he found out about zombies. Even Peyton thought I was sleeping with my boss for a while, back before she and Ravi dated the first time.”
Major put an arm around her. “Aww, poor baby,” he said.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you dare make fun of me,” she said.
“Dude, I feel your pain,” said Major. “I once got asked if Ravi and I were dating.” He locked eyes with her. “In front of Ravi. By a girl I was trying to pick up. He didn’t let it drop for over a week.”
Liv laughed a full, body shaking laugh. “I needed that,” she said, leaning on him, tears of mirth at the corners of her eyes.
“I suppose we could both do worse,” Major said, jovially. “He’s a good looking guy.”
Liv snorted with laughter. “As long as you never thought I was banging my boss,” she said. “I need at least one person who believed in me.”
Major licked his lips. She scrutinized his face and began to frown. “Well, not after you had him move in with me,” he said hurriedly.
“You’re kidding! Tell me you’re kidding,” she pleaded.
They heard a key in the lock at the front door. Ravi came in, whistling the main theme from Star Wars to himself. “Oh, good, you’re here,” he said, flashing Liv a big grin. “You ready for the movie marathon?”
Her face softened as she smiled at him. “You bet,” she said.
“Let me go put a few things away in the kitchen and we can head out,” said Ravi. He reached into one of the bags he’d brought in. “I got you some Red Hots.” He held up the box of spicy cinnamon candy to show her.
She grinned. “You’re the best,” she said, getting to her feet and following him to the kitchen.
Major smiled to himself as he watched them. He could see Ravi loading several boxes of candy into Liv’s purse. She was laughing.
“So how was working the early shift?” Ravi asked, putting away some crackers in the cabinet next to the refrigerator. “Did you miss me?”
Liv rolled her eyes. “Terribly,” she said. “How do I even live without you?”
Ravi chuckled. “I really don’t know,” he said with mock seriousness. Liv elbowed him in the ribs as she slid past him to put away the milk he had just bought.
She leaned back against the kitchen counter while he put away a few more items. “Oh,” she said, with a visible cringe. “I should probably warn you…”
He looked in her direction, his face showing concern. “What’s up?”
“There are rumors about us at the station,” she said. “With the cops who don’t know us as well… and with the early shift. I don’t know why and I don’t know how this got started but, apparently a bunch of people think we’re a couple.”
“Ah,” he said. He looked anywhere but her face and went back to the bags for another thing to put away. They were empty. He sighed and folded up his reusable shopping bags without looking back in her direction.
She slapped her forehead with her palm. “And… you already knew,” she said. He turned back to face her with an uncomfortable smile. Liv glared at him. “What the hell, Ravi?”
He held up his hands as though he might need to ward her off. “I didn’t want to worry you,” he said. “And I tried to put the rumors to rest. I thought I had, honestly. None of them have gotten back to me in a while.”
“How long is a while?” she asked.
He looked at his feet. “About six months,” he said. He tilted his head in thought. “At least five, anyway.”
She shook her head. “I ought to punch you,” she said. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
He pouted. “I really didn’t want to worry you,” he said. “Besides, I was the one in danger of being fired for taking advantage of a subordinate, hypothetically speaking.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen,” said Liv.
He looked down again, but there was a small, shy smile tugging at his lips. “I know,” he said. He met her eyes. “We’ve always had a great rapport, at least since I realized you were a zombie. I figured, you and I were fine with our relationship the way it was. Who cares what anyone else thinks?” He emphasized the question with his arms spread wide.
She walked over into his arms and wrapped her own around his middle. “Yeah, who cares,” she said. He hugged her back. “Though, next time,” she said, looking up into his face from the hug. “I could use a heads up. I was not ready for some of the surprise questions I got this morning.”
“Sorry about that,” he said. He smiled gently at her and gave her another squeeze, never breaking her gaze. She smiled back.
Major cleared his throat from the door to the kitchen and they jumped apart. He hid a smile. “You guys are going to be late if you don’t leave soon,” he said.
Ravi checked his watch. “Oh, damn,” he said. He looked at Liv. “I just need to grab one thing from my room and we can go.” He sprinted for the stairs.
“It better not be a costume,” she yelled after him. She waited by the front door. Ravi returned a moment later with something behind his back. She gave him a dubious look. “Okay, what is it?”
He grinned and held up a beanie hat in each hand. One was blue and white and clearly made to look like R2-D2. The other was mostly gold and patterned to look like C-3PO.
Liv shook her head and groaned. “You dork,” she said.
He stuck out his lip in a pretend pout “You know you want to,” he said. She sighed and reached for the C-3PO hat. “Uh-uh, short stuff,” he said. “You’re R2-D2. We totally have the height difference down.”
She elbowed him in the ribs and jumped for the C-3PO hat he was now holding out of her reach. He pulled the R2-D2 hat down over her ears. “There,” he said, putting on the C-3PO hat. “Don’t you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease,” he quoted as he dodged a couple of swats and an attempt to get his hat.
Liv rolled her eyes and glared up at him, but she was smiling. “Come on,” he said, wrapping one arm around her and opening the door with the other. “We’re going to be late.”
Major watched them go, shoving and poking at each other the whole way to Ravi’s car. Ravi opened the passenger door for Liv and she got in, blowing him a raspberry at the same time. Ravi laughed as he hurried around to his own door. Major chuckled to himself. “Yeah,” he said. “No idea why anyone would think you two are together…”
