Work Text:
The book spine crunched as Bonnie opened her brand new, very first, journal. Her pen stalled out almost as soon as it hit the page. Reasons for not doing this filled her thoughts. Putting her secrets in writing seemed riskier than it was worth.
But she needed an outlet, she reminded herself. Caroline had her party planning to distract her. Leave it to Caroline to find something to celebrate right in the thick of it. Bonnie couldn't imagine planning, let alone attending, a party right now. So she was taking a page from Elena's book of coping mechanisms: Journaling it was. Bonnie took a deep breath and prepared herself for unloading her stream of consciousness onto the page.
Life is so lonely when you've been through something no one else has. No one knows how I feel. No one can. I could tell them, but they wouldn't understand. How could they? How could I put such weight on them? All I know is, I don't want to carry this weight anymore. But I don't know how to unload it.
Oh, ok, I guess there is one who understands. But he has his own weight to carry. I can't add to it. Can I? I want to? But don't. But . . .
Bonnie flipped the cover closed and sat back in her chair with a thud. This wasn't working. She didn't feel better. She still felt confused and alone.
"You wouldn't be adding to it Bons."
Bonnie sat up straighter and slowly twisted to look behind her. She met Damon's eyes. The one person that was carrying all the same burdens she was, was looking at her. She didn't know what to say. Then her anger kicked in to protect her from the imbalanced falling feeling that was starting to consume her.
"Damon! You read my diary over my shoulder?!"
"Yeah. Of course I did. You haven't spoken to me, or even looked at me since, um, since we said goodbye to her. And I wasn't going to wait and waste time finding your hiding place, and reading it sneakily. That seemed like a waste of time."
Damon took advantage of her stunned silence and pushed forward. Focusing on the real issue at hand.
"Bon Bon, sharing the pain we both went through won't add weight."
"It will! You're dealing with your own pain. I won't make it worse by letting you take on mine too."
"This isn't hot potato Bonnie. The pain doesn't have to be held at all. I don't want you to hand it off. I want to help get rid of it.
"How?" Bonnie's eyes were starting to water.
"We use each other's strength. We trust each other. We share with each other. Then we set this pain aflame and channel it at whatever inevitable next thing we face together. Key word, together. I'm so tired Bonnie. I'm tired of holding it. I'm tired of being alone."
She felt the tightness in her chest ease for the first time since the prison world. There was a shift inside her. She was no longer weighted down by her grief. She felt more powerful, more in control, than she could remember.
"Me too." Bonnie said. Her smile grew as she looked thankfully at her friend.