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Joseph Joestar had lived a long life. A fulfilling life, too. There wasn’t much that could beat the satisfaction of sending the ultimate life form spiraling into space, never to be heard from again. The feeling when he scared his grandson, pretending to be possessed by DIO, came fairly close, but still, no dice. There were so many moments in his life he could think of, happy ones, sad ones, angry ones, ones filled with light and energy, and ones filled with darkness and grief.
Images of his younger days seemed to come back to him much too often. On a walk, seeing a child blowing bubbles, he’d let out a soft “oh…” and Suzi would look at him. Of course she would. They had made it through so many years together, despite Joseph’s (numerous) mistakes. She could read him like a book, by now. A lot of people could. With age, his shell crumbled more and more.
He was never especially secretive, usually displaying his emotions on his sleeve, the only time he would hide things would be during his set up for a trick, and those were revealed quickly anyway. However, he did have a shell. A thin one, but it was still there, losely protecting hidden anxiety. He had never learned the concept of anxiety, until that month in Italy. Everyday, training beat down on his body, and every night worries did the same to his mind. He chastised himself.
‘You’re going to fail.’
‘Everyone’s counting on you, can you really do it?’
‘You’re obviously weak, letting yourself get lost in thoughts like this.’
‘Do you have a lighter?’
Wait. What? Joseph tore his gaze away from the ocean that it had locked onto, looking to the door and finding Caesar. Who else, right? No one else really talked to him at this point. Lisa Lisa kept their discussions short, rattling off the training for the day and telling him to get to it. Messina and Loggins were there, of course, but they were teachers. Not the type of people you would talk to about everyday things. And, of course, him and Suzi didn’t even knew the other existed yet, outside of shy glances in the halls.
“Jojo? Do you have one or not?” Caesar prompted, when Joseph didn’t respond quick enough.
“I- uh- Yeah, wait,” Joseph swung his legs onto the other side of the balcony railing he was sitting on, letting his feet hit the floor instead of hang over the drop below. He fumbled trying to reach into his pocket, and Caesar snorted.
“A lot on your mind?”
“You could say that.”
Joseph dropped the lighter into Caesar’s open palm. He didn’t need to ask what he needed it for. They both had their ways of dealing with the stress, apparently. It just so happened that Caesar’s wasn’t staring at the ground and wishing everything would go away.
“We can talk, you know,” Caesar’s eyes flickered over Joseph’s face, before making firm eye contact.
“I’m pretty sure it’s stupid, it’s nothing.”
“I’m used to you being stupid, Jojo,” Caesar almost laughed, before seeing Joseph’s frown, “You can tell me. Or not. I don’t care. I mean- I do. About you. But it’s up to you, so-”
“I’m too weak for this, Caesar.”
Caesar raised an eyebrow at Joseph, watching him sink back to his seat on the railing. Well, less of a seat, more of a lean. His arms crossed over his chest, and a grimace covered his face.
“This? This right now, or the future?”
He took a seat next to Joseph, close enough to the wall that he could lean his back into it. Falling off the balcony and plummeting to his death would kind of kill the mood, y’know.
“All of it!” Joseph uncrossed his arms to motion his hands in a wide circle, “The future, the stupid ass pillar men, the fact that there’s poison in my body, you- you saying you care about me, and-”
“What? Did you not know?” Caesar interrupted Joseph’s ramble, throwing off his train of thought for a moment. Watching Joseph’s face felt like watching a three hour long movie, his eyebrows raising, then furrowing, then opening his mouth to speak but closing it again.
“...No? I was under the impression you thought I was a complete idiot.”
“They aren’t mutually exclusive. You are a complete idiot. But we’re stuck together, now. And I don’t mind that.”
Joseph took a minute to contemplate Caesar. Was he teasing him? Well, that’d be a little bit far, even for Caesar. Obviously the feeling was mutual. Of course it was! Joseph had been trying to drop hints for weeks! But, as he opened his mouth to reply, Caesar broke apart. A million sunflower petals burst into the wind, scattering and falling off of the balcony, some taking to the wind and some falling into the dark water below. And he was gone. And Joseph was too, no longer on the balcony but instead on a familiar snowy landscape.
He blinked, looking around rapidly. Lisa Lisa was there, still recounting Caesar’s childhood to him, but it seemed like nothing more than white noise. What was this? An enemy stand- no. A dream. Dreams exist. That’s what normal people would come to the conclusion of. He remembered, Suzi telling him about how you can control dreams. Step One: Realize you’re in a dream. That was all it took, and he was running. Lisa Lisa called his name out, but he didn’t slow his pace. The door to the abandoned hotel was nothing more than a piece of cardboard to Joseph, and he burst through it without caring for what was left afterwards.
Caesar.
Caesar.
I can save you, Caesar.
But he couldn’t. He never could. No matter how fast he realized he was in a dream, no matter how fast he made his feet go, no matter how many times he repeated this same day, the outcome was the same.
Too late. Always too late.
He would walk in, voice not letting him yell out Caesar’s name, already knowing that there would be nothing but silence in return. The silence is what terrified him. If he didn’t call, he could keep himself convinced, he’s still here, he’s fine, he’ll but there waiting for me, with that ring in his hand.
He wasn’t. All that awaited him in that dark room was a large rock and a puddle of blood. He couldn’t change that. No one could change that.
And the dream would end, his eyes opening slowly and the empty hotel lobby would be replaced with a dimly lit bedroom. He wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t in Italy.
This time, the dream didn’t end. He wasn’t met with a familiar ceiling, or the warmth in the bed next to him that had become nostalgic now. Instead, a door opened in front of him, golden and shining. He fought the urge to compare it to someone else golden and shining he knew, and reached out to it. It felt like it was pulling him in, gravity stronger than he was sure Kars was still experiencing in space. It felt terrifying, but like it was what he was supposed to do all the same.
Was he dying? Was he going to heaven? Was he really deserving of that, after everything? How the hell are some clouds strong enough to hold up a person?
He could think about his questions later, he came to that decision pretty quickly when he saw a head of blonde hair and a familiar scarf. He was waiting for him. He had that knowing grin on his face, and was already opening his arms when Joseph dashed into him.
“Caesar- Caesar,” Joseph brought his hands up to put them over Caesar’s face, thumbs resting on his cheekbones, “This- it’s-” It was unreal. He never thought he would get a chance like this, to talk to Caesar to touch his face, to hear his voice.
He couldn’t get the words out, everything getting interrupted with a choked sob and another sentence coming to his mind and begging to be said. He couldn’t get a single thought to stay in his head for long enough, so he gave up and just dropped his arms to Caesar’s shoulder’s, squeezing him like he would disappear if he let go.
“You made me wait a while, you know.”
Caesar’s laugh was the same as it was all those years ago. Quiet, but still there, even more obvious when Joseph had him pressed against him. Hearing his laugh was definitely high up on the list thing's Joseph thought he would never be able to experience again, and he was so, so, happy that he was wrong.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Caesar. I-”
“Calm down. You don’t need to make excuses, we have TV in heaven, you know.”
“TV?” Joseph finally loosened his grip enough for Caesar to pull back from him, but they still held onto each other. Caesar held Joseph’s forearms, smiling at him before continuing.
“Yeah. We can get a glimpse into the living world. I’ve found a group of people that also seem interested in watching the Joestar channel, pretty often.”
All the tears Joseph had been forcing down came back up to the surface, at that. Kakyoin, Avdol, Iggy, they had to be here too. (Iggy wasn’t exactly angel material, but all dogs go to heaven, right?)
“I knew you’d cry, but this is a lot, Jojo,” Caesar teased him, but there was so much warmth in his eyes that Joseph couldn’t even pretend to be upset about it.
“Did you see all the times I’ve cried over stupid stuff on ‘the Joestar channel’?”
Caesar punched his arm, playfully, “Yeah, and a lot more. You’ve really made a lot of mistakes without me around, huh?”
“I have. We won’t have to worry about that ever again, though.”