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The nightmares crawled around and made their way to consciousness in Stuart’s brain. Wrapping him in a state of panic and his own personal horror movie.
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Water was pouring into the room through the small window. It smelt as chlorine and chemicals. My nails were digging into the door, screaming for someone to let me out of the room. Anyone, someone, anything just get me out. The water was now to my chest and my mind was rushing, begging and screaming as fish swarm around my legs. Biting and nipping at me, small pinches of pain shooting down to my bones. The water was now to my neck and oh god it was the whale, the whale was peering in through the broken window. Watching me hungrily. My last shrieks were drowned out as the water climbed above my face. My hair was floating around me carelessly and eyes stinging from the toxic water, bubbles were escaping out of my lips but nothing could be heard. As I banged on the door something gripped my entire body with enormous strength, teeth sinking into my torso, seeming to tear me in half. The whale finally had me, as I watched the water turn red around me I let out the last air in my lungs as hot pain spread all across my body till it went numb.
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Lurching forward and covered in sweat I threw off the covers and starred at my legs. Searching for any signs of bites. Relieved to find only a few bruises from some rough shows. I continued to breath heavily, heaving in the air that was water minuets ago. My blood was still rushing from the nightmare, body burning as the air grew hot.
Tears had already been making their way down my cheeks; wiping them away along with the beads of sweat I pulled my knees to my chest and sobbed. Thankful to have my body but continued to be terrified. Even though I was now in the Spirit house, which was still terrifying due to the singing spirits that crept around, the underwater dungeon haunted me even more. I had to get out of my room, to find more space and to ease my mind. My mouth was dry and lips feeling ripped, I must have been biting them again.
Walking downstairs I found the TV on and playing a weird late night comedy. An Indian talk show host was making jokes about the government, him laughing about them more than the crowd was. I grabbed the teapot from the cupboard, stumbling around the kitchen in the dim light that was provided by the TV in the other room. I lit the stove and filled the pot with water. Peppermint tea always soothed me when I had these attacks. As I leaned against the counter waiting for the whistling, I prayed the spirits would keep to themselves tonight. The whistle grew louder until I poured it into a glass mug, letting it warm my clammy hands. Carrying the warm cup back to the couch I sat down. Pulling myself into a tight ball and grabbing the blanket beside me. Noodle must have fallen asleep watching TV like usually. Russ probably brought her up to bed. I stared at the TV. Not understanding any of the jokes he was making. His accent wasn't helping my growing headache either. My body was finally settling down as I nursed the tea.
As I sipped the tea the taste danced on my taste buds and warmed my insides. It reminded me of when I was a child and my mom would make this for me when I got sick. I was always sick though so this became my favorite drink. Drifting in and out of my daydream I didn’t even notice the footsteps coming down the creaky stairs. I nearly jumped out of my skin as a hand grabbed my shoulder, my tea spilling over my lap with a yip; Luckily it was only room temperature at this point.
“Easy mate” Murdoc laughed sinisterly as he moved around the couch and took a seat next to me, making sure to keep some distance. I could see how bloodshot his eyes were. from the dimly lit TV. Falling back onto the couch he starred at me as I tried to catch my breath. “Why ya awake at this god damned hour?” He asked, breath reeking of a late night with a few birds. He must have gotten home a few hours ago.
‘Of all people to come down the stairs, why him?’ I wondered, I felt a sharp jab to my side, “Aye! Face ache! You in that fucked up head?” I wanted him to go away. I hated talking to him. He just mocked me and always had an unreadable facial expression. My eyebrows furrowed I looked over to him still smiling as if seeing me like this was the most entertaining thing ever. Murdoc liked to see me in pain, I was sure of this.
“Got a headache” I spoke, letting the words fall from my lips quietly. I didn’t want him around anymore although I knew he wasn’t going to get up so that means I will have to be the one to. I stood up, only to feel a hand clamped onto my wrist and pulled me back down.
“Ah come on’ jus’ got here” Yeah I understood that, that’s why I was leaving. I wish I had the guts to say what I thought sometimes but I think I would have been dead by now. I gave him a sincere look of pain as the tightness of my wrist left me remembering the grip the whale had on me. My mind growing more panicked as the seconds rolled by.
“Ya okay D?”
“I told you no” I snipped out, my eyes feeling sore and wet. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. He’d just laugh and tell all of his junky friends on the radio show.
“C’mon talk to ole’ Murdoc”
“I don’t want to Mudz”
“Too bad ya’ going to dullard” He kept my wrist tightly gripped; there was no way I was going to get out of this one.
“I gots’a bad nightmare” I let out, a tear threatening to slip down my cheek as I began to tug on my wrist, “let go now” I pleaded.
His face softened surprisingly, although he knew how bad the nightmares got. He once ran into my room with a baseball bat after I woke up screaming late at night. He made sure all the windows were locked and that I wasn’t overdosing on my pills. The Murdoc present that night was awfully strange. He laid beside me as I sobbed into his chest and rambled about the whale and piranhas. The bass player just continued to pet my hair back and soothe me. That was one of the first nights we moved into the spirit house and one of the only times I seen that side of Murdoc. He hasn't been as mean now that I think of it. I had no recent injuries from him and haven't been yelled at in awhile. I still doubted I was going to receive the same treatment since the only thing in his system is alcohol. His facial expression and recent behavior reminded me that I might still have a chance though. I let out a sigh and began speaking again, “The whale, the whale got me”
“Ah, so that what got ya miffed” He let go of my wrist and watched me carefully. I didn’t really like how he phrased it but at least he wasn’t laughing. I suppose that is something I should be thankful for. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling my uncomfortably close although his warmth radiated through my skin. It was actually very cozy. I was confused and didn’t know how to respond so I stayed rigid.
“Ya can relax mate, I wont’ bite” His voice was low and smooth, as if the alcohol was allowing him to relax rather than beat the hell out of something or someone; that someone was usually me. I let my muscles loosen slightly, testing the waters until I completely relaxed and brought my hands up to my face, rubbing my eyes.
“How’d it go?” The bassist asked, rubbing a small circle on my shoulder. I looked over to him, peaking through my fingers,
“How’d what go?”
“The dream dumbass, give me some details”
The insult wasn’t needed although I nodded softly, recalling the events as a shutter ripped through me. His touch was helping me keep calm surprisingly.
“I was downin’, da’ fish were bitin at me and the whale was eatin me. I couldn’t hear anyfin but my skin burned. My lungs felt full an’ I was bangin on the door. I called for everyone…I screamed but only bubbles came out.. I called and called. The whale was breakin me in half..No one cared. No one cared that I was drowning.. My blood was all around, it hurt so bad, hurt so bad and I can feel it still.” I felt as though I was rambling to a wall until I found the man hugging me tightly. I realized my face was wet again from my own tears. His rough hand was firmly pressed on the back of my head as I hiccupped out details, “Why did yew’ lock me down there? Why did you leave me wif that whale”
The green man only shook his head; I could feel his greasy hair moving over me.
-POV CHANGE-
As he began rambling my cold heart sunk. The time he spent underwater still horrified him. As he began to cry I pulled him into a hug, it was always amazing how this kid was always cold. My mind may be feeling fuzzy and everything isn’t really in focus but I could see he was hurting. My singer was so broken because of all the shit I have done throughout the years. I still cannot comprehend how he is still around. I have been doing better, at least in my opinion. It might be due to the old age or I finally realized that this band is all I got and the blue haired boy is one who’s never left.
Oh my god would that comedian shut up already? No one was fucking laughing, I am trying to have a heartfelt moment not comment of a cheeto looking candidate. Where was I? God being drunk was hard when you are trying to keep it together and not throw his stupid pink mug at the bastard on the TV.
Anyways don’t get me wrong the idiot still pissed me off to fucking hell and back but something has changed inside of me. Seeing him cower and cry was getting to me more than it should. I am a fucking god, I don’t need to be comforting this dumbass?! But the little piece of humanity I had left kept my hands around my singer. The feeling kept me there beside him and all I wanted to do is keep him safe from the horrors I caused. I left his head dented, caused his eyes to go black, gave him with a toothless grin and kept him trapped in a sea dungeon.
“Why did yew’ lock me down there? Why did you leave me wif that whale”
Oh fuck 2D was asking questions and this question was not appropriate for a drunken man to answer that is attempting the rare feeling of sympathy.
“I needed ya’ there mate” I was answering without a filter, a filter that made all my responses cocky, rhetorical and satanically inspirited. “I needed ya’ voice, but not just to sing. Needed you there with me” I hope no one else was around to hear me.This was just getting embarrassing.
He seemed as though he didn’t have the energy to fight with me. Just letting his body fall deeper into my hug. I pushed him back, seeing his eyes half lidded and tired looking. His eyes were puffy and his nose red. “Lets get ya to bed”
He just nodded, I decided he wasn’t going to probably walk well and might as well give him a little help. As I stood up I wrapped his arm around my shoulders, helping him to his feet. 2D’s tall frame leaned onto me as we made our way up the stairs and down a hallway. As I creaked 2D's door open I looked around his messy teenage boy styled room. Clothes scattered around his floor and did I just step in nail polish? I am going to kill him when he is feeling better. As I laid him down, he didn’t let go of my arm. Pulling me down like a small needy child.
“Can you just stay? One night? Please” He sounded worn out and to be honest his room smelt a lot better than mine, which stank of sex, drugs and some nasty whore. I let myself fall beside him. Stuart laid his head onto my chest and actually snuggled up to me. The blue boy was feeling better which was a plus and also a little warmer now that hes been tucked in and comforted. He is going to have to make this up big time, unless I forget all of this in the morning. I really am hoping that I don’t because he looks really cute like this, like this is how it should be, my hands petting his hair not punching his face.
I put an end to that train of thought right then and there. That was enough of that fantasy. It made my stomach sick, or was that what they called butterflies? Either way! I hated this man. I loathed his pathetic existence and I use him for fame.
As I began letting myself doze off my conscious reminded me that only some of that was true and that there was so much more buried in my coal like heart.
His soft breaths comforted me as I battled within my mind, eventually failing into a sleep that didn’t include a whale and if his did. I’d be right there for him.