Chapter Text

They spoke little on the flight back. Minister Toporov had arranged for the head of Russia’s space programme to escort them to the airfield and he and Darius discussed the arrangements that needed to be made. Grace sat quietly trying to wrap her head around the technical details. A glance at the Russian suggested he was struggling to follow too. Darius’s mind seemed to race at an entirely different pace and complexity than anyone else’s.

The moment they boarded the plane he grabbed a tablet and started sketching and scribbling, frantically making calculations, drawing trajectories, frowning and muttering to himself. She watched, fascinated, wondering if he ever relaxed, took a break, went on vacation. She found it hard to imagine. And yet, last night…

Last night she’d seen a very different side of Darius… dancing Darius. A softer, much more human side. She’d had glimpses of it, that day with Tess, and later when Darius talked about her and Lazlo. But last night was the first time she’d seen him completely unguarded, totally present in the moment and not mentally five steps ahead while she raced to keep up. Is that what it takes for him to relax, she thought? The possibility of all being lost, of it being our last night on earth?

Is that why she’d allowed herself to want him? Because, under the effects of the drug, she genuinely believed they might die in that seedy flat in Moscow? He was undeniably attractive, but until he kissed her at the train station she thought she was immune to his charm.

She closed her eyes and settled back in her seat.

Darius looked up from his work. He reached for a blanket and leant over to place it gently in her lap. “Sleep,” he encouraged quietly, “You’ve earned it.”

She opened her eyes and saw that he was smiling at her. “So have you.”

“I don’t sleep.” he reminded her.

She raised an eyebrow in challenge, “You do!”

He chuckled and for a moment they smiled at each other, both remembering how they’d woken up entangled. Becoming conscious of the sudden desire to kiss him again, Grace looked away, pulling the blanket up around her.

“Big day tomorrow,” Darius said swiftly, turning his attention back to his calculations, “get some sleep.”

She knew he was disappointed, but was grateful that he tried to hide it.

Grace closed her eyes again, returning to her previous train of thought.

No, it wasn’t just the drug, she admitted. It played its part, but she’d been drawn to him from the first, just emotionally rather than physically. She believed in him – not just because she needed the hope he represented, needed the faith he had in himself, and in Liam – but instinctively.

When did she stop thinking of him as a brilliant, but smugly infuriating colleague, and start thinking of him as a friend? When she realised he didn’t hack NASA and was building an ark? When she realised he was protecting her? Or his confession about Tess and willingness to admit his own failings? Maybe it was a combination of those things, but most of all, it was his faith in Lazlo, and his complete loyalty to his childhood friend. Trust, she’d learned recently, just as the Minister Toporov said, was truly the most valuable commodity.

Her thoughts turned to Harris. Only days ago she’d been so happy he hadn’t died in London, so glad their relationship was back on track. (Was it really only days ago?) They’d been together for a year. She’d applied for a transfer so they could date openly, and had finally come clean about their relationship to Zoe. It was a moment she’d looked forward to for so long – she hated having to hide things from her daughter.

But then she’d kissed Darius – or Darius had kissed her – and the ground shifted.

Darius was simultaneously one of the saddest people she knew, and also one of the happiest. He carried such regret, yet genuinely loved what he did, creating technology he hoped would make life better, throwing himself into every challenge and refusing to accept no for an answer. Demanding the best of himself and others. He believed absolutely in his work – something that Grace realised with sudden clarity, she no longer did. Believing in what she did had always been so important to her, then Darius came along and challenged everything. The ground she’d thought was stable had crumbled beneath her feet.

How often had she misread him? She’d assumed he was mocking her when he talked about her being the stable boy, but he wasn’t. He was just trying to draw her attention to something he’d realised that she hadn’t realised herself: she was better than that. That she could be more than someone who just followed orders – she could be someone who achieved extraordinary things. He’d seen it in her, just as he had with Liam, and as always, it had taken her a while to catch up. It was intoxicating, and more than a little frightening.

How do you go back from that, she wondered?

You don’t, said a voice in her head. You can’t be less now that you’ve learned to be more.

How can you go back to someone who constantly tries to reign you in, keep you in a box, when you know you can be so much more?

She loved Harris, but in that moment, she knew she couldn’t go back to him. She was a completely different person from the woman who’d fallen in love with him, and even if she’d didn’t know exactly who that was, she knew she couldn’t be with someone she couldn’t trust.

She trusted Darius, and she might even be falling in love with him, but she couldn’t be with him either. Not until she was sure it wasn’t because she needed his confidence, his belief, the faith he inspired in her. Not until she was sure she could maintain it on her own.

Grace drifted off to sleep, trying not to think about the way he kissed her.

Darius let her sleep, losing himself in his planning and only allowing himself the occasional lingering glance. She was an extraordinary woman, but he’d known that for a while. He hadn’t picked her as being such an emotional and flirtatious drunk though (the only effect alcohol generally had on him was to slow his mind down long enough for him to recognise his body needed rest) so it had been an unexpectedly wonderful surprise.

He didn’t kid himself that what happened last night had won her affections away from Harris. Her love for her boyfriend had shown itself to be genuine and endured some real tests, and she hadn’t given him any cause to believe she had feelings for him before last night, other than as their best hope to avert disaster. She hadn’t even given him reason to think she liked him, apart from her reassurance that he wasn’t a prick.

She was wrong about that though. He really was, at times. His determination not to repeat his own mistakes made him try to hold everyone to his own standards, and he demanded too much of them. He’d dragged Grace and Liam along with him, even Gillian, oblivious to the consequences. Worse – not oblivious, merely brushing them aside.  

He’d slept last night. Actually slept. With Grace in his arms.

It was probably just the effect of the drug, but it felt like a small miracle. He hadn’t been able to sleep with someone in his bed since Tess. He’d found all kinds of ways to cover it up on the nights he had company, slipping out of bed to work on a project, claiming a deadline, needing to make an international call to a client. That’s why Catherine was always so refreshing and their entanglement had been the only one to stand the test of time. She never expected to stay the night – or asked him to stay. It had never been a business transaction, whatever it might look like, it was simply the result of celebrating a successful collaboration. Catherine was the most confident and self-assured woman he’d ever met, and that was even more attractive than her money. Well, equally, anyway.

What was so extraordinary about Grace was that she didn’t naturally have that kind of self-assurance, which made her determination and courage all the more remarkable.

And her passion.

Darius desperately wanted to believe last night wasn’t just the result of the drug, but he doubted Grace would ever have let him kiss her if she hadn’t believed it might have been the last night of their lives. He’d pushed her into stealing the uranium, dragged her off to Russia with him, knowing the risks, knowing that her actions would set her against Harris (he could acknowledge that although that wasn’t why he’d done those things, he gained a certain satisfaction that her faith in him outweighed her loyalty to her boss and boyfriend) and things could have turned out very differently.

If he genuinely cared for her, he needed to back off, and not keep blindly asking her to put herself in danger.

He promised himself he would take greater care of her, and Liam, and reward their faith in him.

It was time to stop being a prick.

Grace slept for the rest of the flight, waking only when Darius tried to fasten her seatbelt before landing. “Sorry,” he murmured, “we’re nearly there.” She gave him a sleepy smile as she tried to straighten herself up. “What’s the plan?” she asked.  

“I drop you home, you take a shower, get dressed, have some breakfast. I do the same. Then we go and tell the government that while they were wasting our taxes playing stupid wargames, we found a way to save the planet.”

“As a media adviser, I’d reconsider the word stupid.” Grace suggested, drily.

“Fine. Bloody stupid, then.” Darius deadpanned.

Grace laughed, despite herself.