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Cas takes a ragged desperate breath. His lungs ache when they expand and fill with the cool night air. He feels such a powerful sense of relief at the feeling that it takes him a few seconds to open his eyes.
When he does he blinks a few times to make sure he isn’t hallucinating- he has had a rough day and his mind liked to play tricks on him when he was this miserable. Something about the human brain seemed to make you see things that weren’t really there in times of crisis. Castiel didn’t understand the utility of that. But even after a few shakes of his head Dean is still there. In his personal space.
“Dean?” his voice sounds like he took up a pack a day habit and he swallows thickly.
“Cas?!? Cas is that really …you? How?” Dean voice sounds small, choked and cautious like he expects something terrible to happen if he makes too much noise.
Cas squints trying to remember what happened. He remembers Dean looking at him like that. The same question in his expression when he was finally free of Lucifer. But that was months ago.
Lucifer.
Lucifer stabbed him. He looks down - there is a hole in Jimmy’s white cotton button up and he brings his hand to his chest. Frowning a question at Dean he looks back up and notices that Dean’s eyes are overflowing with glistening tears. The tears leave tracks down his stubbled cheeks and land on Cas’ coat making soft wet sounds as they both seem to hold their breath.
Pat, pat ..pat.
“Cas… how? “Dean croaks again as he brings his own hand up and lays it over Cas’, covering the hole that isn’t in his chest anymore.
Cas swallows again and opens his suddenly too dry lips to answer- he isn’t sure what he is going to say yet. He sticks his tongue out to wet them and Dean tracks to motion with his eyes. Deans' other hand shoots up and his fingers land on his plump bottom lip, his eyes go wide in disbelief. Before Cas has time to ask Dean what is going on he hears Sam yelling from somewhere close by.
“DEAN!?! What the hell?”
Cas identifies the sound of at least two people running over in their direction. Dean’s hands have both reached out to help Cas sit up. He still has a look of utter shock on his face but he averts his eyes in a guilty way that has Cas feeling far more confused than he can remember ever being.
“Cas? Is that really you man? Dean what happened?” Sam gets out in rapid fire as he falls to his knees next to them and reaches out to grab hold of Cas’ shoulder.
Both brothers are more tactile then he thinks they’d like to admit- always touching the people they love in a way that reassures them they really are with them. Cas finds the touch grounding and he slumps against Dean when he sees his wings burned into the ground around them. He feels like he can’t breathe again.
“Cas buddy. I got you, breathe, just breathe.” Dean hushes at him and pulls him to his chest.
“What happened? Chuck? I mean I’ve been praying but I didn’t think he’d hear or care. Did you see him?” Sam keeps talking- he is clearly a little overwhelmed himself.
“I…I don’t know man. He just woke up.” Dean says gruffly, Cas knows he is trying to give him a minute to collect himself and he is thankful that Dean can read him so well.
“Magic.” A soft voice speaks up from behind Sam, and Cas realizes that he has no idea who the young man is looking down at the three of them. “The strongest magic.”
Cas looks at the teenager, something about him seems very familiar.
“You?” Dean asks and his voice sounds distrustful.
“No, I do not possess the power it would have required to bring my father back from the void, since he was an angel he had no soul to retrieve. And not even Nephilim have power over the grace of others.” The boy says in the same stilted speech Cas’ recognizes as his own.
“Jack? Is that you?” Cas asks moving his eyes from the boy to Dean and back.
“Yes father, I am sorry that I could not save you. I am extremely pleased that Dean did and will forever be in his debt for it.” Jack finishes looking at Dean solemnly.
“What?” Sam says at the exact same time as Dean gets out an incredulous “Come again?”
All three of them are staring at Dean who looks affronted and a little embarrassed.
“What did you do Dean? Did you make a deal?” Sam all but shouts at his brother looking anguished and pissed off.
“No! What the fuck Sam?" Dean glares at his brother and then looks over to Jack “Look kid I don’t know what you think I did but I ain’t a witch, I can barely manage an exorcism – no way I pulled of some kind of Hogwarts hail mary!” Dean says gaze flitting from his brother to the kid he was still distrustful off.
"The purest act of devotion is the only thing that could have accomplished this and I can still see the lingering molecules on both of you.” Jack replies looking to Cas for some direction.
“What? “Sam asks and his face is scrunched up like it always is when he is working a problem.
Cas frowns and tilts his head to the side as he looks at Dean.
“Dean?” he knows they can have whole conversations without saying anything more than the other’s name. He is asking Dean if what Jack said was true. If what he is implying is in fact what happened. Cas remembers Deans reaction when he woke up. His eyebrows shoot up and Dean responds with a hard swallow of his own and his eyes look wild.
“Dean” Cas says his name on an exhale and he reaches up to touch his own lips and his eyes fill with unshed tears as he realizes the truth.
“Oh my god! No way!!! Are you freaking serious?” Sam says way too loudly as he looks from Dean to Cas and then to Jack.
Dean flinches.
“Seriously ?? "The strongest magic? Purest act of devotion?" Are you for real?” he asks Jack and his voice just keeps getting higher and more excited with each word.
Jack simply nods his head in affirmation looking positively annoyed with Sam’s reaction.
“Oh my god- I knew it! I knew it!!! “Sam says practically splitting his face in half with the biggest grin as he looks back at his brother and Cas.
“What?!?” Dean gets out gruffly looking at Sam as if he is daring him to say something.
“Wow, just wow. I mean we have seen some shit, Dragons, fairies- and I know we didn’t think Angels were real a few years back but this? This is way out there! How did you know it would work?” Sam asks looking positively jazzed.
Cas turns his focus back to Dean curious to hear him explain, he slowly lets his hand fall to his lap and realizes that Dean is still holding his arm around him and Cas feels his heart speed up.
“Just what is it you think I did?” Dean tries to buy some time- Cas realizes that Dean only just figured it out himself and he can read him too. He looks cornered and scared. And that means he is likely to lash out in anger.
“Sam, Jack – can you give us a minute please?” Cas asks giving them a soft pleading look. He knows Sam is excited, intellectually curious and not trying to poke at Dean, but he also knows Dean is not ready for this.
“Um, sure. Sure, thing Cas. Come on Jack let’s see if we can find some dinner inside- I bet Cas is hungry” Sam says as he seems to realize the gravity of what they just discovered.
The two younger men make their way back inside the cabin and Cas finally lets his eyes move back to Dean’s.
“Cas” Dean gets out and he has a tear running down his cheek again. He looks grateful and vulnerable.
“Dean, you don’t have to say anything.” Cas tries to help him. Saving Dean is what he does. Its’ instinctive.
“No Cas, I do.” Dean pulls back so he can look Cas in the eye.
Cas purses his lips and nods, expecting Dean to brush it off, explain it away, call him family. Brother.
“You died. You died and I never said it. You said it. You’ve always been so brave. God Cas…you died. And I never told you.” Dean takes a deep breath and runs his hand over his mouth as he looks up at the night sky. Taking a shaky breath.
He refocuses on Cas and reaches for him. He takes Cas’ face between his palms and wet green eyes lock onto Cas’.
“I love you. I love you Cas. Not like a brother. You get me?” Dean’s voice is cracking again and he looks at Cas and he is so open, his defenses down.
“Dean. I love you too. I have for a long time. It was always you.” Cas says, and he feels like his blood is warming him with every beat of his heart as the feeling spreads through him.
“Cas. Can I kiss you-again, I mean?” Dean asks as he leans his forehead against Cas'.
Cas feels like he is flying even though he no longer has wings as he nods and leans forward. Those final few inches that's taken them years to cross.
Their lips brush softly, tentatively, they are aware of the power this wields. Its already altered the course of their lives and it has the potential to change so much more still.
They press harder, rougher, deeper. Cas has never felt so much at once. He feels hunger – stronger than when he was under Famines influence. He feels desire, passion, lust. Words he was familiar with but had never experienced.
Dean slips his tongue into Cas’ mouth and Cas thinks he might not be able to stay in his body-he bursts aflame as a new wave of want crashes through him. He goes under with it and is lost to the world- all of it disappears and only Dean is left. He pushes down the urge to breathe clamoring at him until Dean finally breaks away. Panting they pull back- Cas looks up at Dean who is smiling the most genuine smile he has ever seen on his human.
“Wow, I always knew I was a good kisser- but kissing someone back to life is impressive even for me” Dean teases and Cas smiles back at him.
“I suppose you will be bragging about that for some time?” Cas asks amused.
“Not everyone can pull of true loves kiss!” Dean says with a waggle of his eyebrow and then he is kissing Cas again.
Cas decides that Dean can remind him of that for the rest of their lives and he would never complain.
---The End----