Chapter Text
I’d be hard pressed to pick a favorite memory that I had of Don. Our first date, our first kiss, the first time he told me he loved me, they were all standouts for me. But if I were forced to choose, it would probably be a random weeknight at 2 AM. We had been dating for about a year, and it was getting increasingly clear to both of us how serious we were getting, but we hadn’t really talked about it.
I was tossing and turning and unable to get to sleep. John and I had failed a mission that evening and had let a criminal go. He probably wasn’t a danger to anybody, but I still didn’t like knowing I had failed. I texted Don, to see if he was on duty at Team Flash, so we could FaceTime or something. But as soon as the text was marked sent, Don was in my bedroom. I involuntarily let out a squeal and pulled up the covers.
“Relax, Rye, it’s just me,” he whispered.
“You scared the crap out of me!” I pulled my pillow out from behind me and hit him with it. “A little warning next time!”
“Sorry.” He was laughing, but looked contrite enough that I’d let the issue go. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“I could ask you the same question.” He wasn’t wearing his gear, but he was fully dressed, indicating that he had been up to something.
“Uncle Cisco and I were just burning the midnight oil working on some new tracking software.”
“You know if you let me help…”
“If we let you help, we’d never do anything ourselves.” He gave me a knowing look, and I shrugged. The boys would ask for my help eventually. “Anyway, why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I couldn’t sleep. John and I let a robber get away today.”
“Oh, man. I’m sorry. But you’ll get him next time.” He didn’t say it like it was a throwaway nicety. He really meant it. He believed in me that much. “Do you want me to sit with you until you fall asleep?”
“No. I just wanted someone to talk to, and I thought you might be on duty.”
“Alright, we can talk.”
“No, you’re working with Cisco. I didn’t mean to distract you.”
“It’s a welcome distraction. Trust me, I’d much rather be here, even if it’s breaking the rules.” Ah, yes, the strict “no boys in the bedroom (especially Don)” rule.
“Don’t worry, John’s in here all the time.”
Don’s raised his eyebrows. “I would hope John’s presence wouldn’t be cause for concern.”
“I would hope your presence wouldn’t be cause for concern. I know you can be a good boy, even if my dad doesn’t.”
“I’ll show you a good boy.” He leaned forward to kiss me, and I returned the kiss before pushing him back, albeit reluctantly.
Don gave me a confused look. “As much as I want to, and trust me, I do, that’s not going to help me fall asleep.”
“Alright. You said you wanted to talk. What about?”
“I’m scared.”
Don seemed taken aback. “About the robber?”
“No. About us.”
“Us?” He grabbed my hands, interlacing our fingers between us. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know. And that’s what I’m scared of.”
Don looked confused. “You’re scared I won’t leave you?”
“I’m scared of where we’re headed. Sometimes, it’s just so….so much, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” Don gave me another confused look. “You’ve seen the future, right?”
“Sure, some of it.”
“Do you ever see us in it?”
Don hesitated. “Once.”
“Really?”
“We had only been going out a few weeks, so it didn’t seem like the right time to tell you. But I saw a future version of us.”
“And we’re together?”
“In one version of the future, yeah.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know. It seems like a crazy idea, but at the same time...it makes perfect sense. Us as end game.”
“Yeah. If I’ve been distant lately, it’s only because...I’m getting closer to figuring out that my future is you, and that scares me.”
He squeezed my hands, still held between us. “What if I promise you it won’t be scary? What you feel for me, or what I feel for you, or what the future may hold...that we’ll get through it together?”
“Then maybe I’d be a little less scared.”
“Only a little?”
“Maybe a bit more than a little…” He tackled me so that I was laying down and he was on top of me. “Okay, maybe a lot.”
He kissed my nose. “Good. I love you.”
“I love you, too. So much.” Then he rolled off of me so that we were both laying on our sides, facing each other. It didn’t take much longer for me to fall asleep.
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Mom found me curled up against one of the computer desks, softly crying. She wrapped her arms around me tight, stroking my hair, and asked me what was wrong.
“I think we broke up,” I whispered.
“Oh, sweetie.”
And she held me like that while my world fell apart.