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“I stopped feeling emotions a long time ago.”
The sentence was almost a mantra for Shouto at this point. If he was emotional, he would be hurt. So he just….wasn’t. His father saw them as a weakness and tried to train him to keep a poker face. He was only five so he just felt like his dad hated him and anything that came from him.
It was almost the complete opposite for Izuku. His mother had made it very clear that crying and being emotional was something to never be ashamed about as it was human nature to feel things. He grew up with a bleeding heart that still shows through to his personality today. He was stubbornly trying to get Shouto to do the same but it felt….wrong.
Crying was a weakness, smiling in happiness could give the villain an opening when you least expect it, having friends wasn’t needed. Those were just small things he had learned growing up and he accepted it without question at this point. What else was he going to do?
He never thought it was wrong at all. He was being strong. Why did it hurt so much though?
That question was answered when he had ended up finally bursting into tears when Izuku had said he loved Shouto.
“Oh no, what’s wrong, was it too soon? Do you not feel the same way but not wanna tell me? It’s okay you don’t have to say it back I just wanted you to know because I have-”
Shouto rubbed at his eyes and tried to shake his head. Izuku couldn’t see him like this he would think that he was weak and make fun of him for it. He didn’t want to ruin this, he couldn’t do this to Izuku.
“What’s wrong”, Izuku muttered softly. He pulled Shouto’s hands away from his face and held them firmly. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing, it’s nothing”, Shouto said, not meeting Izuku’s eyes. “Nobody has said they’ve loved me before.”
“...Not even your mom?”
“She left when I was six, I wouldn’t remember if she ever did.”
“You’ve never been told that?” Izuku muttered in disbelief. His grip on Shouto’s hands tightened and his scars rubbed against Shouto. It made him feel sad remembering how broken Izuku had been in the sports festival their first year.
“My father wasn’t exactly the most kind man”, Shouto said. He sighed, sniffing so he could think. His sinus’ hurt and his eyes burned and he was so tired. “He said emotions were bad to show. If I cried, he’d get mad. So I’ve…..stopped feeling altogether.”
“You can’t live like that, Shouto”, Izuku said somberly. “You’re human. Humans are made to feel these things. It’s biologically impossible to be able to live like you have without creating intense strain to your health. Of course, some people don’t feel a lot because they have psychopathic or sociopathic tendencies. But those are also rare experiences and harder to come by whe-”
“You’re rambling”, Shouto prompted. Izuku flushed, clamping a hand over his mouth.
“Sorry. What I meant is that….You’re dad is wrong to have done that to you. You have to feel what comes to you regardless of what you’ve been taught because it’s human nature. C-Can you promise that you won’t bury your feelings like that? Like I know it’s next to impossible to change it within a week but if you talk to me and Iida and Uraka we’d all be willing to listen and help. Or you could make a journal to talk about stuff and I’m always here and you have friends in the class. You aren’t alone in this.”
“Neither are you”, Shouto said. “You have a lot on your shoulders, I can see it. There are a lot of people that are here for you too.”
Izuku smiled, pulling Shouto towards him, leaning his forehead against Shouto’s. “I know I’m not. I’m concerned about you but thank you for saying that.”
Izuku gave Shouto’s nose a soft kiss before he pulled back. He gave a determined stare towards Shouto before saying, “Now….about your dad. Where can I kick his ass.”