Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Summary: In a world of death gods, murder and sociopathic geniuses, Hatake Kakashi fits right in. A Naruto and Death Note crossover story. AU.

Disclaimer: Death Note and Naruto are not mine.

0.

The invasion was intense.

Hatake Kakashi tried to be everywhere he could - to defend Konoha to the best of his abilities, but he's getting tired. After all, even with his thousand techniques and renowned genius, he wasn't Kami. Not like the monster that he was currently facing.

Not like the god who calls himself Pain.

When he sacrificed the last pieces of his chakra to save Chouji, Kakashi fell into oblivion with a smile on his lips.

Unbeknownst to the people fighting below, Nu, a passing Shinigami with a particularly odd visage, stopped when she saw a bright-haired human.

The silver hair was certainly striking but that wasn't what caught her attention, no.

It's the repentance, the sheer grittiness of the feeling, that this particular human exudes with every slash of its sword and every attack that it gracefully bequeaths its enemy. It's beautiful, stunning...magnificent.

In another reality, Nu wouldn't have cared. She would have gone back on her realm, forgot this encounter as time passed by as she grew older and older. But in this world, she did and it all changed everything.

Raptly watching in awe of the human with all the eyes in her rock-like body, Nu faltered when all of a sudden she saw it fell and slowly die.

No.

Not that one.

Not yet.

Determined, Nu's numerous eyes flashed red as she strained to write the human's name on her death note before its soul leave its body.

In a blink, she's gone.

Flying towards another realm, Nu smiled triumphantly as she used her death eraser to revive the exquisite soul of the captivating human being into another world where she can monitor and watch it grow.

It would certainly be interesting, to say the least.

.

..

...

A cry from a previously thought dead infant named Em Lawliet broke through the hospital room loudly.

Nurses started turning themselves into a tizzy at the sound, and the baby's parents cried in joy at the thought of their daughter's continued survival.

(Considering she was at death's door minutes ago, the infant was fine and healthier than she should have been. Her being alive was well- a medical anomaly among anomalies since she wasn't healthy before the affliction to begin with, and coming off with next to no scratch from that, as a toddler no less, was nothing less but a miracle.)

(So when the doctor insisted on conducting further tests despite the earlier pronouncement and lengthy diagnosis, the parents-)

(-the parents left - wary about the avaricious light that seeped in the doctor's eyes - barely seen, but noticed all the same. They heard the rumors and they knew that greed could creep in even on the most upstanding and honorable of men.)

(Maybe it was paranoia whispering into their ears and influencing their eyes - seeing things that weren't there to begin with - but they couldn't - wouldn't take the chance.)

(Not if they could help it.)

...

..

.

A seven-year-old dark-haired boy with calculating onyx eyes looked at the small bundle in his mother's arms blandly as the family of four drove back home.

"She survived." He murmured curiously, intrigued. He didn't expect her to do so, considering how weak her constitution was despite the continuous medication. His sister was a premature baby, much like he was as his father once mentioned but considerably more fragile since she seemed to have inherited their mother's weak immune system.

He was sure her heart even stopped at one point, once he heard the plaintive wail his mother let out when he was waiting outside the emergency room.

The dark-haired boy smiled, the expression fitting oddly into his face - the smile too wide to be considered natural, too...strange that it would have jarred anyone have they cared enough to look.

"I'm glad." He said quietly and his father smiled warmly as he heard the sentiment from his usually apathetic son.

(Except, for the dark-haired boy, it wasn't so much as a sentiment, but more of an anticipation of the person that would come from this small pink-faced baby.)

(For surely, someone that could defeat the odds stacked so much against them would be more interesting than the people he was with most of the time.)

(Surely, she would just be better-)

(-wouldn't she?)

Chapter Text

1.

When Yagami Sayu first met the dark-haired girl on the bench of the police station her father worked in, she was unnecessarily, illogically captivated.

The slip of a girl with arresting gray eyes was fascinating - enchanting in a way that she shouldn't have been considering the fact that Sayu walked by numerous people doing stranger things in the police station whenever she was tasked to drop off her father's lunch but-

(The police - her father's coworkers - were looking at the foreign girl cautiously, the receptionist with contempt and Sayu-)

-Sayu was curious.

It might be the girl's mask that drew Sayu's attention at first - covering half her face and emphasizing the sharpness of her eyes. It may be the utterly strange quality that the older girl wore around her like a cloak. It could even be the ero-book that she's shamelessly reading in front of everyone. Whatever the reason was-

("Can I sit here?")

(The girl glanced at Sayu measuredly, her eyes half-mast. "I don't own the bench." She enunciated dryly.)

Sayu was smitten.

(Doggedly pursuing the stranger's hand in friendship after that, no matter what her family may think, was therefore not as out of character as it should have been.)

It turned into a routine.

Sayu tried to break down the older girl's defenses bit by bit as she haunted the halls of the police station for months with any excuse she could squeeze out from her mother.

("What has gotten into you, Sayu?" Her mother asked baffledy once.)

("Nothing." Sayu chirped. "Now, where's otou-san's lunch? I'll bring it to him.")

("There isn't any, dear. He didn't forget his lunch this time.")

(Sayu faltered before grinning brightly. "Then, I'll bring him a snack or tea. I'm sure he'll be happy to see my glorious self.")

("Just." Her mother sighed resignedly, shaking her head at Sayu's swift departure. "Be safe." She called out to Sayu's back.)

It was difficult, at first.

The dark-haired girl, or Emily as one of her father's coworkers told her once when Sayu pestered for more information on the older girl, was sardonic - her humor ridiculously dry. It was surprising since the older girl usually liked to imitate a brick wall most of the time, but when she did open her mouth, laconic tea would spill from her lips.

Kami, Sayu could still remember the first time Emily actually replied back to Sayu's babbling. Emily-

Emily was vicious.

("Are you talking to me?" The dark-haired girl asked bemusedly after Sayu finished babbling about her day, closing her book with a snap.)

(Sayu's cheeks flushed red as she bore the brunt of Emily's attention. "Yes?" She stuttered out nervously.)

(The dark-haired girl looked at Sayu meaningfully and sighed when Sayu just continued to look flustered. "You haven't gotten the hint, yet?")

(Sayu opened and closed her mouth like a fish before the receptionist, bless her soul, called her over. Sending a strained smile at the older girl, the brunette got up. "I better go.")

(Sharp gray eyes just stared at her blandly, amused. "You do that.")

Unfortunately, Sayu was as stubborn as a mule and well-

It didn't help that she was more preoccupied about how charismatic she found Emily's reply was after her cheeks stopped burning and she replayed the interaction again and again in the privacy of her room.

Emily also hadn't explicitly stated for Sayu to go fuck off the day after that, so Sayu pestered the girl again and again until the older girl caved in and chimed in with a passing comment from time to time.

(Sayu positively lived for those days.)

Sayu once asked what changed during one of the lulls in their conversation and well-

The older girl had an imaginary friend called Nu apparently, who asked her not to bully Sayu too much. Emily said this offhandedly - almost deadpan, but her eyes gave her away. It was watchful, eyes weighing Sayu's reaction carefully.

(It was a testament to Sayu's self-control that she didn't squeal after that.)

(She found the idea of Emily having an imaginary friend disturbingly adorable and yes, Sayu admitted that she may or may not have a problem when it comes to her friend, but honestly-)

(She couldn't really bring herself to care.)

.

..

...

Yagami Soichiro was a fair man.

He needed to be, in order to do his job well as the chief of the National Police Agency in Japan, but there was something about Eraldo Coil's sister or Emily as she liked to be called that unsettled him.

She was eerie.

Even with her small frame - she barely reached his shoulders - she was...strange.

Emily unnerved him in a way that he wasn't in face of murderers, rapists and the scum of the earth in Japan he found himself in charge of. Her eyes-

Her eyes were haunted and bitter veterans in war only were.

(Dangerous. A part of him whispered, even as he saw her dainty form reading an ero-book unabashedly. And peculiar - making cold sweat run down his back whenever she talked to people that weren't there, from time to time.)

(Careful. A voice cautioned. And Soichiro-)

(-Soichiro acquiesced, knowing better than to smother the instincts that served him well in the past no matter how ridiculous his conjectures were.)

It was trying once Soichiro knew of his daughter's obsession with Emily.

(It was obsession - there was no way around it. Soichiro could see it in her eyes, in the way she talked and acted.)

(His little girl, for some reason, was utterly enraptured by Emily.)

He didn't notice, at first - preoccupied as he was with work and he thought nothing of her increasingly frequent presence in the police station. Light was the same when he was her age and-

And Soichiro wouldn't have known if Sayu hadn't brought it up during dinner. He was absorbed with the sudden surge of tricky case after case and Light, his little genius, wanted in - to help and provide some insights.

Soichiro was hesitant - partly due to his age and partly due to the circumstances surrounding the case when Sayu,

Sayu smiled and quietly said. "But Emily helped out in cases all the time, otou-san. Why shouldn't Light helped out too?"

Soichiro's train of thought stopped in its tracks. "What?" He asked, his voice strained. "You know Emily, Sayu?"

"Otou-san?" Light glanced at him, baffled. "Sayu liked to go on and on about her during dinner, remember?" He smirked teasingly at his sister. "I think it's going on for months now."

"I don't go on and on about her." Sayu denied huffily, her cheeks a faint pink. "At least, not for months. Kami Light, don't exaggerate. She's just interesting."

Soichiro's throat tightened. He thought it was a coincidence. After all, how many Emilys were there in Japan?

"Emily doesn't help out in the station's cases, Sayu," Soichiro replied calmly over his two children's bickering, his face pinched. "Her brother does."

Sayu looked him intently, her expression unconvinced. "Huh." Her eyes turned bland disturbingly mimicking one of Emily's micro-expressions. "My bad, I guess."

Soichiro stiffened. What did she mean by that?

"You would love to meet her, Light." Her face lit up as she turned to her brother. "Emily's brilliant."

"I'm not going to talk to one of your giggly friends, Sayu." Light said tiredly.

Sayu flushed. "She's not interested in you that way! Come on. What could it hurt?"

Soichiro shook his head slightly - pacifying his wife's worried look.

He knew Emily wouldn't do anything. The girl was unnatural, for the lack of better word, but she wouldn't hurt anyone.

But it was-

It was concerning.

(Foreboding.)

Sayu was changing and Soichiro-

Soichiro could do nothing but watch.

(He's not heartless enough to order her daughter to end her friendship with Emily when it made her smile this much.)

(Soichiro's not even sure his daughter would even let him hinder her to begin with, so he wouldn't even try.)

Chapter Text

2.

Ever since he could remember, Yagami Light was told he was a genius.

A prodigy.

A bright mind with a future ahead of him.

And he was. A genius that was, in a way that could be conventional but wasn't.

Because well-

It was apparent that as time passed by - as he grew older and surpassed his peers, even among those that were called special, Light was a cut above the rest. Someone...extraordinary. Someone who could go to a great place if he wished and Light-

Light didn't disappoint and worked hard. He strove to live up to expectations heaped by the people around him.

When Sayu grew up and didn't shine as bright as he did, many people were disappointed. Not his parents, no. They loved their daughter for who she was, but the people that Light encountered - the teachers and students that knew of his name, were dismayed by her as if they have any right to feel that way.

They were fools.

Light overshadowed his sister in aspects that seem to matter, yes. In mathematics, in languages and in every subject he decided was worth his time, Light excelled. Sayu, however, Sayu was smart in a way different than he was, but not any less for it.

Because, Light saw how although he was exceptionally skilled in reading people and situations, Sayu was a natural in that aspect. A master, as one would say, in seeing through the heart of a matter quickly. She inherited the instincts that made his father the chief police of the National Police Agency in Japan and was voracious in finding what makes people tick. His sister was a manipulator and whether or not she realized this was still unknown to Light. It was almost beautiful, in a way, since his little sister used their condescension and unnecessary pity to her advantage and made these people dance prettily to her tune.

(Not him though, never him. His sister was cautious enough to know that she couldn't take him on as she was now. She still lacked the experience and she knew that Light - older and better at thinking on his feet - was better at the game than she was.)

So when Sayu came back one day and continued to go on and on about Emily, Light was intrigued.

The sheer amount of attention Sayu poured toward the foreign girl was unprecedented. It was infatuation at its purest form - a sight to see for someone so young and Light-

Light's persistence in helping on the cases his father was taking on may or may not be partly due to meeting Sayu's new friend even if he did put up a token of protest at dinner when Sayu first brought up the topic.

(His father paling, once he discovered Sayu's relationship with the girl, was just icing on the cake.)

(Wasn't it interesting that the frail girl Sayu had mentioned for months could evoke such a reaction?)

Emily was infuriating.

That was what Light concluded after weeks of visiting his father's office to help out on their latest case.

She was aggravating - exasperating in a way that he didn't think was even humanly possible.

Whatever interesting qualities she may have had became null and void when she seems intent on getting on his nerves as much as she could.

("Ara. Light-chan?" The dark-haired girl cooed as she looked up from her book. "How's your head?")

("What do you mean, Emily-san?" Light asked politely, his smile strained from the suffix the foreign girl insisted to add to his name since Sayu first introduced the two of them. Light-chan, his ass. "I feel fine.")

(The dark-haired girl hummed. "I imagine it must be getting heavy that's all," She gestured to his form with a hand. "With all the growing you're doing lately.")

(Light pursed his lips. "What do you mean by that?")

(Emily just smiled mockingly, before returning back to her book.)

(Light fought the urge to scowl as the receptionist gave him a sympathetic look.)

The older girl was backhanded, mocking and unflatteringly cheeky. Whenever he talked to her, he always felt like he was the butt of jokes only she could understand and, much to his chagrin, his hard-earned patience for dealing with the hoi polloi was ineffectual in face of her taunts.

How his sister could stand that was a miracle.

Granted, Light admitted that unlike most of Sayu's "friends", Emily at least, had a brain. No matter, how little most in the police force think of her, the girl was undeniably intelligent in spite of her idiosyncrasies. Her questionable reading material and penchant for talking to invisible people aside, her observations about each case that needed her "brother's" supervision were spot-on and despite her lack of interest and motivation, she, time and time again, shed light that would eventually prove valuable after the investigation.

He still didn't know who the mysterious brother was that was helping out in the police's work, but-

Light noticed how Emily was a tad too familiar with each case. It wasn't obvious. No one would see it if they didn't know how to look, but Light did and he saw how Emily -

Emily had an understanding that was too deep for someone who was only supposed to be a messenger of the ideas themselves.

Light would wonder more about the mysterious detective needing a messenger in the first place if he wasn't too caught up with the fact that each and every one of the points raised that made the accomplishment of the cases possible in the first place wasn't because of him.

It was because of her.

And did that realization burn at his pride.

Light understood, then, his sister's conjecture during one dinner when she brought up Emily's hand in the cases. Emily was indeed helping - solving those cases herself even, if the short time he saw her work was any evidence, and no one, except maybe his father who might have an inkling, was any wiser of what's happening right under their noses.

As he once again got the credit for a case closed, the proud looks of his father and the utter awe from his father's colleagues left a bad taste in his mouth.

Light fucking hate this.

...

..

.

When Hideki Emily transferred into Daikoku Private Academy in her last year, Koshimizu Yuri was curious at the emotion the new girl evoked on their star student, Light Yagami.

Yuri knew Light.

She was as infatuated as any girl was with any functioning eyes and a sexual drive was when they met the charming guy, and Yuri would like to say that she was familiar enough with his personality to say in good authority that he felt well- off.

Yuri couldn't quite pinpoint when it started, but it just wasn't her. Practically everyone in their class - heck, the whole school even - could see the utter contempt the guy had for the petite girl and with the influence Light had in school, life for Emily-san was well-

It wasn't good. Everyone practically ignored the girl - for all that she was an enigma, and it was a testament to Light's popularity that some teachers followed suit.

(Yuri would be more upset - be guiltier for letting the girl be treated that way if she didn't see how the current status quo worked just fine for the foreign girl. Yuri would go as far as to say the girl enjoyed it even and was perfectly content with the cold-shoulder treatment she was getting.)

It would have made sense if there was something about the new girl that would merit Light's uncharacteristically apparent disdain but aside from her penchant of reading foreign books in class and wearing a mask, Emily was perfectly amicable, if a bit distant from everyone she talked to. She was average in class, had no extracurricular activities to speak of, and it was- baffling, jarring how Light seemed to be insulted by who she was and how little she was capable of.

Yuri once wondered if it was sexual - for all she knew it was the genius's convoluted way of showing interest, but she scratched that thought out immediately since the guy was courting her for Kami's sake, and at the risk of sounding vain, the foreign girl - even with her admittedly pretty gray eyes - didn't hold a candle to Yuri. The foreign girl slouched, had huge bags under her eyes, and the mask wasn't doing her any favors.

It was surprising once, after she was partnered with Emily in a project in class, she learned that Emily was friends with Light's younger sister, Sayu.

It was lunch at that time. They were talking about the topic they were assigned when Sayu just came bouncing in and sidling into Emily's side. Emily wasn't surprised so this must have happened often but Yuri felt bewildered once she saw their dynamic.

It was...Sayu's attitude with Emily was as far as her brother's was as it could get, but somehow it was well-

It was equally as jarring.

Yuri couldn't exactly pinpoint why exactly, but she couldn't shake off the feeling.

(Maybe it was the barely hidden manic light the younger girl had when Emily looked her way or maybe it was when Yuri asked about Light's behavior after Emily excused herself, Sayu-)

(Sayu just smiled slightly, her expression indescribably pleased.)

(Yuri felt cold sweat run down her back before the moment passed and Sayu's face turn bland.)

("I don't know." Sayu shrugged then turned to the direction where Emily left, her brown eyes glinting in the light.)

Chapter Text

3.

L loved his sister in a way that wasn't exactly love, no - he didn't think he was capable of that much attachment even if he wanted to - but close to it, at least.

Just a smidge off the mark, very close to what love must feel like, but not quite because L had always been a bit strange, you see. A bit...darker than the rest even at a young age and not quite right for this world.

He would like to think that maybe if he was a bit more normal. A bit less dysfunctional than who he was now then maybe well-

-maybe, if he ever could truly love, wholly and with everything he had, then Em would be it.

She's the only family he had left. All L had in a world faced with people that demanded his genius and expected him to fit their mold of who they think he should be. People who seemed to give way too much, drowning him in riches and indulging his whims perhaps more than should be advisable - when in actuality, they yield far too little as they failed on giving him what he truly needs.

Em was-

Em was a breath of fresh air.

(If the breath was akin to a slap, the air was a chair, and the direction of the breath was his face.)

She was the one person he genuinely liked the presence of - the only one who could see through him and understand eerily who he was and accept every single bit of his personality.

She made him into a better man. Into a better person, even.

Without his sister, L would probably be trudging on through life, solving case after case in an attempt to be worth something - in an attempt to go through the motions, not unlike a beloved pet hamster as it ran on and on its wheel.

L, whenever he was feeling particularly poetic, would say that Em was his muse. His foil. And everything in between.

However, despite it all-

L couldn't deny that Em was irritating in a way only a few people could be. Or should be.

She had a talent for it. A penchant for getting into other people's skin easily and even L, her uncute older brother as she fondly called him, wasn't exempt to her "tough love".

Watari, his ever-loyal benefactor, was especially susceptible to it.

(And it was anything, but loving, when it came to the old man.)

It was subtle.

After all, Em knew better than to bite the hand that fed her so blatantly, but-

Every action, every word was executed with exceptional passive-aggressiveness that it would make masters in the art weep in envy.

Not that Watari noticed, since he, even from before, was always blind to Em's potential and capabilities - thought he was indulging L still as he persisted to insist in making Em his successor. He always did think of her as a bright, obnoxious brat with nothing going on for her but her skill in languages, history, and the arts.

Pretty, but ultimately useless in whatever plans he may have.

Watari couldn't be more wrong than he already was.

(L, whenever he could admit it to himself, knew that his younger sister surpassed him just a bit. Only a little, not by much really, but the difference was considerable if one would put it into perspective.)

L would remember times when Em would throw an inscrutable look there. A derisive word here. Or perhaps a gesture that saddles the line of propriety just so, but not enough to merit a scolding-

His personal favorite was that particular phase she had when she was younger and oddly in awe of the world - where she would learn as many languages and dialects as she could, teach L the bare basics and proceed to talk in front of Watari crudely with the language of her choice. She changed it up weekly - instinctively knowing when the man started to get an inkling about the mechanics of the language and how it worked - faking a giggle for good measure and looking at Watari in that irritating way of hers. The one that said she was making fun of him gleefully, but since he wasn't actually sure what she was saying, he couldn't do anything about it.

Watari never failed to get so delightfully flustered during those months. Red-faced and sweating as he tried to get ahold of himself - so uncharacteristic of the loving grandfather or butler or whatever he would like to portray himself as, in the orphanage he ruled with an iron fist.

There was a reason the top kids in the orphanage stuck to her like a burr all these years and it wasn't because they think she was an enemy like Watari would think.

They loved her - Matt, Mello, Near and-

-Beyond, the so-called heirs to his title.

They were enamored, helplessly beguiled by his younger sister that they couldn't help but resent her for it.

She was-

She was their light, L would describe if he was feeling particularly perverse. As ironic as it was - as much as Em was the reason they were nothing more than pawns pushed slowly but surely into a corner by the orphanage's crushing expectations, Em, or A, as they called her in the place that housed them since their parent's death - was another reason to get up another day. The little things she did - the small, but substantial acts of defiance she showed got them going just a bit more in a place ran by benign cruelty filled with twisted little things that stood apart from the rest.

Even if she was the reason they were being crushed until they were more broken than they were before, they still held on - unwilling to let go even as their fingers bleed from all the edges that came with the package.

So when Em was the one who pried those fingers out herself - preoccupied as she was in things he couldn't quite understand, it shattered them in a way that wasn't quite obvious - but left them marred with scars that wouldn't quite heal right.

Beyond, more so than the rest.

Beyond Birthday knew Em - understood Em in a way that L had never really been able to. He saw parts of Em that L had never really been able to comprehend and well-

(L may or may not be the one who pushed Em to leave for Japan in the first place - under the guise of an odd, indulgent older brother that just wanted to make his sister happy - once he got fed up with that fact. He pushed for it, despite Watari's protests and Em's hesitance, just so he could satisfy the petty feeling in his chest - callous and uncaring of what the others may feel. Mello and Matt had each other while Near always had been self-sufficient. They could survive even without her. Beyond, on the other hand - Beyond was the one that would get hit by Em leaving the most and L couldn't deny that crushing the tattered pieces of Beyond's self was gratifying.)

(When Em finally left for Japan, L was the only one who knew where she was.)

(Not that it lasted, of course. Mello and Matt eventually found out her number - they weren't his backup heirs if they weren't at least that good - but L hid it long enough that Beyond-)

Beyond Birthday went M.I.A. sometime after a year or two when Em left.

(Beyond didn't know, and that's what matters.)

L was selfishly satisfied, illogically appeased at the thought of him leaving because well-

(Beyond was a broken mirror of who he was. A poor substitute that seemed eager to fill L's place on Em's side. A fraud. A poor mimicry of who he was yet, despite this, he was succeeding - with every moment L spent on his cases.)

L was many things, but generous wasn't one of them.

(And the thing was-)

(Em knew or, at least, had an inkling as to what L did. Why he did it. And, without a doubt, accepted the underlying reasons for the action to begin with even without fully understanding the situation, because that was the kind of person that she was. She knew that L knew-)

(Yet-)

(Still, without fail, she would ask every other week whenever she had the time-)

("How's BB?" Em would hum.)

(L would feign disinterest, then reply drily. "I wouldn't know, Em. I'm not exactly babysitting your minions now, am I?")

(Then Em would laugh, ask about his work and, would recite the lines the other thought they wanted to hear.)

(That went on and on, not unlike a broken record on replay, - until-)

("Why is BB here, L?" Em asked curiously.)

(L flinched, his fingers tightening around the phone involuntarily.)

("What?" He asked sharply. "He's in Japan?")

(L could almost see Em smile. "Yeah." She paused. "Shouldn't he be? He told me you sent him.")

("Right." L said flatly.)

(When they said their lines and exchanged their goodbyes, L took a deep breath - clenching his fists as he did so.)

(And threw his phone at the wall - the sound ringing hollowly in the small room, as the object broke into pieces.)

...

..

.

(At L's side, holding on to the cake the young man requested earlier, Watari-)

(Watari quietly smiled, satisfied.)

Chapter Text

4.

Amane Misa knew more than anyone that everything has a price.

Many people thought that she took everything for granted and she did, to an extent, but-

She wasn't a fool.

With stalkers and obsessive fans like she had, with some of them wishing for things she couldn't give, Misa's life as a supermodel wasn't as carefree as they sell it in the newspapers and magazines.

For all its glitter and glamor, the industry she worked in was filled with people lying with sweet words and powdered smiles as they pull each other down to reach the top.

(She should know.)

(Misa did it too.)

Summed up, her whole experience of the whole shebang could be best described as bile and vomit with tears running down her face, and nights where hunger and loneliness hit particularly hard as she started to wonder if it was even worth it. 

If living like this- living with the burden of expectations and stereotypes for fame and wealth was ever worth it.

Her delicate face, her talent in manipulating her image to fit the camera's desires and her privacy, in exchange for-

(A "life" where she had enough money to pay her family's  debts, put food in her younger brother's stomach, and a reputation as a blonde airhead that people wanted to fuck.)

(Was it a fair trade?)

(She thought it was. After all, many people had it much harder than she did and even if she couldn't exactly eat right, because Misa you have a shoot tomorrow, do you want to look fat-)

(It was bearable.)

(At least, it used to be, until her parents were killed because of her.)

...

..

.

Fucking everything up, for Misa, was a habit.

It was almost a talent, if you could call it that, but she was stupid and prideful and now, she had nothing left but empty praises from people who didn't know who she was and a job that lost its luster a long time ago.

Her "friends" were right.

Hah.

Stupid Misa. All she had was her pretty face, she couldn't even finish high school right. So incompetent that even if her parents were killed in front of her, the murderer could walk in the streets free because she only had her face and an empty title.

Attempted home robbery, her ass.

The "robber" was a rich second-generation with connections in the government and yakuza. He - a robber?

Who would even believe that?

Of course, it wasn't a home robbery.

It was attempted rape.

(Except, she wasn't touched since her parents got in the way before anything took place so, she got nothing to show for it but faint bruises that faded before they went into court.)

(The lawyer she got said that Misa couldn't exactly complain, because, as far as all the meager evidence that the police had, there was no evidence - no witnesses pointing to that crime except her, and-)

(Maybe, it was her fault? Because, wearing short dresses and skirts meant that she was asking for it, apparently.)

(In the end, it was ruled out that the suspect was falsely accused.)

(The only thing that went right was her younger brother's summer camp so he was spared from the sight.)

(And even that, she almost opposed too, since they just recovered from their financial obligations and the money spent on summer camp could be put into his savings bank in the future.)

(Thank Kami, he managed to convince her.)

She couldn't even avenge them if she wanted to, because not only would it get her killed, it wouldn't bring them back - it wouldn't erase her mistake and-

It wouldn't even work, in the first place.

The world listens to power so even if she had evidence, her parents' case would get swept into a rug with her career destroyed and her lying in a ditch somewhere.

Maybe she should have just bent over.

Maybe if she agreed-

Maybe they would have lived.

(Or maybe they wouldn't, but at least she could say she tried.)

Pushed into an alley by another crazy stalker who wanted to screw her, Misa couldn't even muster enough strength to fight back. She wanted to be alone so she sent her guards and manager away - and now-

She was paying for it.

(Misa wondered if she asked for this. Maybe, something inside her was fundamentally sick. Maybe, she did ask for the shit she was now going through.)

(Maybe, it really was her fault.)

(Kuu, how selfish.)

(Misa still had her younger brother to take care of and she knew her parents wouldn't want this for her, but-)

(For a second, she couldn't help but wish for death just so she could escape the niggling gritty she'd been feeling since that day.)

(It made her want to scratch her skin out until it bled - because she was dirty, fucking disgusting, why-)

(Why was this happening to her?)

...

..

.

(Unfortunately, someone appeared.)

(Ha.)

Gelus pen vanished into thin air as an unkempt young man incapacitated the person who wanted to hurt his Misa effortlessly. The stranger's movements were smooth and unhurried as he broke the other man's wrist and knocked him out cold. 

The Shinigami sighed in relief - his tattered hand trembling as he saw Misa's lifespan change in accordance with the intervention.

His Misa was alright.

"Thank you," Gelus rasped to his Misa's savior roughly in gratitude.

The young man stopped and turned to Gelus sharply, his red eyes faintly flashing in the dim light.

Gelus froze. Red eyes.

Shinigami eyes.

This man-

He could see him. How? His lifespan-

"I didn't do it for her." The youth muttered with faint disdain, unmindful of the strange look his Misa shot him.

Before Gelus could react, he heard footsteps sedately walking toward them - his body unconsciously - illogically stiffening with every step the person took as it went nearer.

"BB," A voice called out. "There you are. Where were you?"

The young man's attitude turned a hundred eighty as a hand pointed to his Misa - his expression childishly pleased. "I was saving her, A." He crooned, his mouth crinkling into an awkward smile as the figure moved closer to the light. "She seemed to need help and I just did what I could."

It was a young girl - age not far from his Misa's, masked and frail with her name twisting and changing above her head, and a countdown frozen to one.

She was unusual, yes, but-

Gelus shuddered.

An otherworldly aura that he hadn't felt in what seemed to be a long time ago seeped into the air as the Shinigami with strength second only to the Shinigami King appeared beside the frail figure.

Nu.

(Her strength increased again.)

(As expected of the enforcer of the Shinigami laws.)

"Look, it changed, right?" He blubbered excitedly and - to Gelus' shock - puffed up his cheeks to the rock-like frame. "I lengthened her countdown."

The girl, A, glanced at Nu beside her before nodding gently, humoring BB. "Hai, hai. You did well, BB. You'll get strawberry jam later."

"Ahh," BB sighed in delight. "You're the best, A. Your jam's the only one that tastes great, ah."

"I gave you the brand of the jam before I left, BB." A's eyes crinkled, amused.

The young man's eyes darkened for a second, his features twisting grotesquely - before his smile widened. "It just doesn't taste right when you're not the one giving it."

A laughed, her eyes inexplicably fond. "Really?"

"Really, really," BB said earnestly.

A shook her head, nodding to Misa politely and stepping around the near-corpse in the sidewalk. "You're ridiculous."

"I'm not," BB protested. "You're too mean, A."

A grinned beneath her mask and the two eventually disappeared on his line of sight - with his Misa watching their back with a complicated look in her eyes. Glancing at the street cautiously, she hurriedly ran to her house without looking back.

Gelus didn't follow her this time.

"Long time no see, Nu." He greeted, his tone reverent.

"Gelus." The air in his chest tightened. "Why are you here?"

"I-"

"You were going to change that girl's fate, weren't you?" Nu hummed, her numerous eyes boring holes in Gelus' tattered body. "Why?"

Gelus averted his eyes. "I just like looking at her, Nu." He defended softly. "She was interesting."

"Interesting enough to sacrifice your life for her?"

Gelus was silent.

Was she?

(His Misa -)

(His Misa was a complex character. Gelus enjoyed watching her growth, her grit, her humanity and the faults that made her the Misa that caught and continued to hold his attention, but-)

(Was she enough?)

(There would be countless humans, after all. Ones that would shine even brighter than she did and-)

(Was the meager knowledge that he had for this human's existence enough for him to sacrifice the only thing he had?)

(...Yes, it was, in a way that was and wasn't because-)

"It wasn't like I had anything left to live for Nu," Gelus finally replied, smiling bitterly.

Nu looked at him measuredly before she chuckled, floating away to the direction the young woman went into. "Suit yourself. Just-" Gelus' body convulsed in indescribable pain, a taste of the hell the Shinigami before him was capable of - a warning, before a moment passed and the torture abruptly ended. "Watch yourself. You know the rules."

Gelus forced himself to respectfully nod as he panted slightly, "Yes."