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“Guys, I think we messed up,” Pidge bursts into the room, clutching a laptop under her arm.
“What’s wrong?” Shiro responds.
“Ok, so you know how I put a calendar on all of our devices so we could at least keep Earth time in mind?”
Lance nods and touches the tablet he almost always kept with him now.
“I also added important dates like holidays but also our birthdays. It is November right now…and we forgot Keith’s birthday. It was in October! I just noticed now…”
Lance stills for a moment before shrugging. This doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
“I mean, we have been busy, you know, saving the universe…” he says.
“Yeah, but we have been busy for quite some time now and still managed to celebrate literally everyone else’s birthday,” Pidge says.
Shiro groans, looking guilty.
“Guys…” he says.
“Yeah, but he is gone right now…”
“We have ways to contact him, safe ways. We haven’t even been that busy lately since Lotor isn’t in the picture anymore and we have had contact with other members of the Blade recently.”
“Yeah, but…” the guilt is starting to build in Lance’s stomach and he dreads it. “We contacted them for saving the universe reasons.”
“Guys!” Shiro says again.
“Yeah, but some of that business could have been with Keith. They told us that things have been quiet there too. One of them even mentioned that we could visit if we wanted to. But we didn’t. We have been dicking around the Castle playing video games and…”
“GUYS.” Pidge and Lance finally stop, looking over at Shiro.
“We messed up. Keith is sensitive about his birthday. It always made him feel terrible that everyone else got to celebrate a birthday but him.”
Pidge groans. Lance’s stomach dropped. He had been hoping that the stoic Keith really did not care about birthdays.
“When we were at the Garrison, I used to force him to celebrate and get him a cake and some presents and I made him blow out the candles…he always acted like he hated it, but I think he loved it. We should have at least called.”
Hunk looks like he is tearing up. “I am going to bake him the biggest, best cake…”
Lance embraces feeling guilty now. He had looked up Keith’s birthday before and it was in the back of his head, but it had just slipped his mind. It had been so easy to get distracted with things being quieter, to play video games and hang out with Matt and enjoy the Red Lion. A sudden realization hits him.
“We celebrated my birthday for like, a month,” he says, shuddering.
“That isn’t the worst thing. We made up a birthday for Kaltenecker and celebrated it. Keith even took a break from training to come and celebrate it with us. We made him celebrate a fake cow birthday and then didn’t even call him.” Pidge sounds horrified.
“Jesus,” Lance muttered.
“Well, let’s see if we can call him now and apologize. It is all we can do. Maybe see if he can come for a visit?” Shiro says.
They do not get ahold of Keith for a few days in which time Lance feels progressively worse about the situation. Keith had been surprisingly good natured about birthdays, even when Lance made his a production. He even smiled his way through Kaltenecker’s birthday party. Shiro’s words ring through his head. He imagines Keith being the person who wants a special birthday surrounded by loved ones and then always being alone on his birthday. He imagines how lonely that probably made him feel before Shiro showed up to help him. Then he imagines how he must have felt when they celebrated the birthdays for literally everything in the Castle but him. For some reason, Lance doubts anyone at Marmora would even know Keith’s birthday, let alone celebrate it.
Every night, Lance dreams of black hair and pouting lips.
The Castle suddenly seems less like home. How had he not noticed how much emptier the Castle feels without Keith?
Lance is relieved when Keith finally pops up on the screen for a video call. They all awkwardly stand before him, smiling uncomfortably. They had agreed to a game plan that included inviting him back as soon as he could come for a party. Lance throws out that they should sing for him too, though Keith’s face kills the song in his throat pretty quickly.
“Is there something to report?” Keith asks, straightforward and to the point.
“Well, not report, but something we need to discuss,” Shiro answers. Allura nods beside him and smiles.
“Ok.” Keith looks very serious sitting in his Marmora suit and Lance swallows hard.
“We missed your birthday,” Shiro says.
If Keith is surprised at the words, it only barely shows on his face. A slight twitch of one of his eyes, a swallow, but he remains stone-faced otherwise.
“We are sorry. With everything happening, we just overlooked it,” Allura adds.
Keith remains silent.
“So, happy birthday!” Lance says desperately. It is awkward and Lance really wishes they had done something else, literally anything else. Or that Keith would at least react in some way, even if it was anger.
“Thank you. Is there anything else that needs to be reported or discussed?” Keith finally responds.
There is a moment of silence before Shiro forges forward.
“Can you come visit? We want to throw you a birthday party.”
“Things are too busy right now to worry about parties. I have missions.”
“That isn’t what Kolivan said last week. He said that it was quiet,” Pidge points out.
“I don’t care about birthdays. It is fine.”
They all look at Shiro.
“Keith, we want to celebrate your birthday,” Shiro says.
“You called. That is enough. Is there anything further to report?” There is a finality to his repeated request.
Lance hadn’t entirely predicted feeling even worse after the call, but that is basically where things seem to be headed. Keith looks completely blank. Even the forced smile when he thanked them for the birthday wishes doesn’t reach his eyes.
He suddenly feels further away from Lance than ever.
“Come off it, Mullet. You are coming back here and celebrating your damn birthday!” Lance interjects.
He hopes that Keith will rise to the bait. Even Keith arguing with him would be better than what is happening right now.
Keith’s remains stoic, facial expression unchanging.
“Birthdays don’t matter anyway. I have too much going on here to come back for something that doesn’t matter.”
“You celebrated everyone else’s birthdays.”
“That…”
“You celebrated my birthday for like a month. Willingly.”
“It wasn’t really a full month. And that is different anyway.”
“Why? Why is that different?”
Keith looks down and suddenly looks so sad and tired that Lance wishes he could back up a minute and get stoic Keith back.
“It just is.”
“You celebrated Kaltenecker’s birthday.”
Keith looks up.
“So it mattered to celebrate a cow’s birthday but you won’t let us celebrate yours?”
“Lance, just shut up.”
“Why does a cow’s birthday matter but not…”
“Because it made you happy!” Keith finally breaks a bit, raising his voice. “It made everyone happy to celebrate those birthdays. You just feel obligated to do it for me too, but I am telling you. It. Doesn’t. Matter.”
Shiro is already breaking in, assuring Keith that he is wrong, but Lance barely hears his words. Keith’s words might as well have been “I don’t matter.”
Keith interrupts whatever Shiro is saying.
“I am a member of the Blade of Marmora now. We do not acknowledge birthdays. Please do not contact me again unless you have an actual request or information.”
Then he disconnects the call.
Lance stares at the blank screen, feeling nauseous.
He can’t help but feel like they had abandoned something precious in a dark and lonely place. That Keith had slipped through his fingers all because he couldn’t keep up with a birthday.
Or maybe it happened even earlier, when Keith started to think of himself as a member of the Blade instead of a paladin of Voltron.
Or rather, maybe Lance never had a grip on him enough for Keith to slip away. Maybe he has always been just slightly out of reach. Maybe Lance never quite understood Keith or what he needs.
That night, Lance dreams of dark eyes and a cold tone.