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Jimin sat motionlessly on the couch, his opulent features accentuated by the soft glow of moonlight. The room, drenched in shadow, echoed with a piercing silence that was only punctuated by the ominous ticking of the clock on the wall. A vase of white anemone flowers stood in contrast to the dullness of the surroundings. The coffee table was coated with a layer of dust, and when Jimin ran a finger across its surface, a pale scar was left on the cloud of grey.
Tick-tock, went the clock. The anemones shed their white petals.
He inhaled the musty air, ignoring the stale taste in his mouth. Time trickled steadily away. Jimin waited.
Tick-tock.
The white curtains billowed in the breeze; the folds of fabric swelled outwards like a balloon. Jimin tilted his head and listened as the petals swirled around him like snowflakes.
Then as abruptly as it came before, the wind died down, and all was still once more.
“What’cha waiting for?”
Jimin turned towards the direction of the voice. Taehyung gazed back, a smile tugging at the corner of his thin lips. Wind-tousled hair swept into bright eyes that twinkled merrily in the gloom, and Jimin’s own strayed to the impeccable bulge of his Adam’s apple. Spears of silver light penetrated the silts of the curtains, casting shadows upon the floor. Darkness shrouded them.
Out of the corner of Jimin’s eye, something moved. He peered at the foreign creature.
Soundlessly, the butterfly fluttered its delicate black wings and alighted. The pristine white of the flowers made the small insect all the more prominent, like an inkblot smudged over an unblemished canvas. Taehyung’s hand twitched towards it.
“Wait-”
An ear-splitting smash, and the porcelain fragments of the vase littered the floor in a chaotic mess, dotted by withered petals. The butterfly had disappeared without a trace. Taehyung, unscathed however stared into space, his eyes glassy and unfocused, reminding Jimin of a static poster. His outstretched hand fell to his side in slow motion; his limbs appeared to move mechanically as if he wasn’t in full control of his senses.
A surprised gasp escaped Jimin’s lips as he was suddenly seized by the wrist and yanked along, out the door into the glaring sunshine. Warmth bathed his skin, and the blinding rays of light disoriented him momentarily. When he blinked away the black spots dancing in his vision, an undulating sea of green loomed before him. Blades of grass rustled at his feet, a collective murmur over the sound of moving air. It was strange; Jimin had long forgotten about these things in his cocoon of dusk.
“What are you doing, Tae?” he shrugged off Taehyung’s grip, perplexed. “You’re acting weird.”
He whipped his head around to retreat into his safe abode; but to his shock all he could see was endless green: In this field, there was only him and this strange Taehyung. A Taehyung he had never seen or known before; his gestures stiff and odd.
Presently, Taehyung raised his head, and Jimin could see that his eyes were glazed. There was a fleeting glimpse of an unfathomable expression on his face before he pivoted away. Jimin trudged after him through the ankle-high tussocks of grass, struggling to keep up with his long, purposeful strides and quick pace.
“Tae, wait up!” he called out, stumbling clumsily in a vain attempt to reach Taehyung. The other boy, however, merely walked onward, his silhouette growing farther away with each passing moment.
Splashing through a brook that was choked with weeds, they came to a large tree. It towered majestically, providing a brief respite from the heat with its sun-flecked shade, gnarled bark marred by the passage of time. What seemed like the faint outline of a carving was etched into its weathered skin. Jimin trailed a finger over the grooves of the crudely made heart, tracing each initial into his memory before pressing on again.
The field behind them, they paused briefly at a small pool nestled in an alcove of trees. Taehyung stooped and skimmed a small pebble across the stagnant water—sending small waves rippling across the mirror-like surface. The boys watched as the radiating ripples ruffled the water, distorting the perfection of the pool and their own reflections.
“Nearly there, come on.” Taehyung mumbled under his breath as if he was saying it to himself, his eyes scanning the way ahead distractedly. Jimin tried to reach for his hand but he turned away, leaving his hand hanging awkwardly.
Something heavy coiled in Jimin’s gut, and a wave of nausea washed over him. The black butterflies flitted lazily near the water’s edge, dipping their tiny feet into the pool and disturbing its serenity.
Taehyung had never acted this way before.
Jimin glanced reluctantly over his shoulder at the checkered cloth on the bank and followed Taehyung into the dense undergrowth. It wasn’t long before they emerged onto a highway; but the road was deserted, devoid of any sign of life. Twilight had fallen; a swirl of pink and lavender painted the nimbus of clouds.
Jimin’s mouth went dry.
Rosy light enveloped the large patch of white blooms, giving the illusion that they were stained scarlet. They swayed in the evening breeze, as if marking the finish line. Jimin’s feet carried him forward of their own accord towards the dented guardrail: the metal was twisted and sheared beyond recognition, like something heavy had collided with it with huge impact. Slivers of glass littered the ground, gleaming harshly in the waning illumination. Reflecting the undeniable truth that Jimin had tried so hard to ignore.
He felt faint, numbed, mind still failing to grasp the reality. The sounds around him receded; his surroundings closed in around him. Crushing him. Then almost at once his senses came surging back even more mercilessly than before, and nothing in the situation had changed.
His knees buckled. The sharp shards pierced his skin, causing crimson blood to ooze from his wounds yet his mind was indifferent to the pain. With trembling hands, he picked up the battered lion keychain in his hands. The plush was splattered a rust red, beads of Jimin’s fresh blood percolating into its coat.
A single tear spilled from his eye, and the rest followed in an unbroken stream as a wail broke free from his chest. Hacking sobs shook his body, impairing his ability to speak. The air reeked of the fragrance of those cursed flowers, sickening him to the bone; that putrefying odour choked him, the stench of death that aroused a violent loathing within his very core. He cried with the force of someone vomiting, an intensity that consumed him alive like the grief that had burned away his sanity.
“Why?” he yelled through his tears at Taehyung. “Why are you doing this!?”
“Park Jimin!” the boy roared, his eyes blazing with a hard determination yet soft with pity. “Wake up! Stop living this lie!”
“I can’t, Tae! I CAN’T!” Jimin cried as he desperately clutched onto the lion like a lifeline. “I can’t go on without you!”
Memories flashed through his brain, threatening to overload his mind. Box shaped smiles and gales of laughter, nights spent giggling by the fire. Heated arguments followed by sweet kisses; days spent by the creek watching the fishes. A deafening bang; a lifeless hand.
The tiny plush toy was crushed in his increasing grip as he struggled to cling onto every fibre of memory that was him, refusing to acknowledge the bitter truth that sank deeper into this conscience.
“Please,” Jimin begged helplessly, his voice barely audible above the susurrus of the wind. “Please… Don’t leave me. Alone.”
His red-rimmed eyes met Taehyung’s, and he was shocked to see that tears were flowing down his face. A sudden urge made Jimin want to hug him but he was standing too far away. He could never reach him.
“Stop running away, Jimin,” Taehyung was crying uncontrollably now, all the sorrow in the world reflected in his eyes. “You have a whole life ahead of you to live. Don’t hold back because of me.”
Jimin’s bottom lip wobbled. “I can’t live without you.”
“I don’t you want you to waste your life away because of me!”
But Jimin stood up, hugging the lion to his chest. Without further hesitation, he clambered onto the guardrail, hovering above the yawning abyss below that called to him invitingly.
“Jimin, I love you. I’ll always be there. You’ll never be alone,” Taehyung’s voice broke in anguish, his eyes pleading. “Please. Let me lead you out of here.” He extended a beckoning hand, the setting sun’s beams making him seem like an angel.
Jimin turned to look at his beloved Taehyung, whose eyes were clouded with an immense sadness, and smiled through his tears.
“At least in my dreams, you can still live.”
And then Jimin plunged towards oblivion below, accelerating away from his salvation. Everything melted away into the darkness, the void engulfing him completely.
Jimin sat motionlessly on the couch, his opulent features accentuated by the soft glow of moonlight. Wrinkling his nose at the musty smell of the air, he tilted his head and listened to the sighing of the wind.
“What’cha waiting for?”
Jimin turned towards the direction of the voice. Taehyung gazed back, his thin lips raised in a box shaped smile, and his eyes twinkled in the dark.
The familiar words came to Jimin as naturally as they always had.
“You,” he giggled and dived into Taehyung’s embrace, snuggling up to plant a kiss on his cheek. There was a snort from Taehyung before he burst into hysterics, Jimin’s tinkling laughter mingling with his in the dark.
Lulled to sleep by the comforting warmth, they dozed off in each other’s arms, just like they always did in this sweet illusion: Ensnared within the lie that Jimin had conjured.
“...The 25-year-old behind the wheel, Kim Taehyung was pronounced dead on scene, and his fiancé— Park Jimin was rushed to the XXX Medical Centre in critical condition. He suffered devastating head injuries in the crash and is currently in a comatose state...”
“And the next news item...”
The white anemones shed their petals, only to be scattered afar by the breeze...