Chapter Text
Joseph was a man with a plan, and right now, his plan was to annoy his lovable brother Jonathan into submission. It wouldn't be hard, he'd just have to act bored until he disturbed Jonathan and his work enough… though he'd done this enough times in the past that he might be immune to it. Maybe he should have thought about that before he told all of his friends he was going to have a Halloween party at his and his brother’s house. He opened Jonathan's door wide, letting it slam loudly into the door stop, frowning as Jonathan didn't even flinch. He practically skipped over to his desk, leaning forward so the tips of his stylish hair, thank you OH SO very much for your opinions Caesar, would just poke into his view.
“What you doing?”
“I'm marking student papers Joseph, it's their first big assignment this year. A little early I know, but I could see how excited some of them were to enjoy the holiday.”
“Huh… cool I suppose.”
“Yes, it requires the utmost concentra…”
“What are we doing for Halloween?”
Jonathan let out an exasperated sigh, the first crack in his armour. Joseph moved back and threw himself onto Jonathan's king sized bed, letting the springs groan in protest.
“You and Jotaro are doing whatever you want, Erina will be coming over for movies with me on the night, and I'm waiting to see if Speedwagon would like to join us.”
He didn't even turn around to face Joseph, which made him frown. Time to kick it up a notch! He let his legs dangle off the edge of the bed, before beginning to swing them against the wooden bed frame. He watched Jonathan flinch at the noise each kick made against the frame, but it wasn't enough. He looked around, trying to find something to really annoy Jonathan with, and his eyes landed on his prized antique books on the bedside table. He slowly began to drum his fingers on the ancient leather hardcover, smirking to himself as he waited. The third drum did the trick, and Jonathan turned around to face him.
“What is it Joseph?”
“Sooooo what would you think to having a Halloween party here?”
“No.”
Joseph was taken aback. Jonathan would have usually caved in by now and given him what he wanted. He'd have to dig deep for this one.
“Please Jonathan, we've not had a party here in years, it would be so much fun…. Please?”
“No.”
Joseph frown deepened. He would have usually caved from begging alone, he'd have to go for a low blow.
“I heard Erina saying she'd love to go to a party with you some time this Halloween. One big party before the wedding.”
Jonathan looked conflicted, and Joseph knew he had him, knew this party was his, knew that it wou-
“I'm sorry Joseph, no.”
What? Jonathan actually said no?? What alternate reality had he been dropped into?!? Jonathan was the teddy bear of the three of them, the most fatherly and the easiest to convince to go along with Joseph's plans, and here he was being decisive and stubborn. Joseph let out a sigh; This party was more work than it was worth, but he knew Suzie and Caesar were looking forward to it, so he'd have to do this, for them.
“If we have the party, I will do the house chores for a month!”
“Make it two and you have yourself a deal.”
“Two months!”
Joseph grabbed his hand and shook on it, looking pleased with himself, just as Jonathan. He was looking a little too pleased, his boyish smile too wide.
“Why are you grinning like that? I got my party, why are you happy?”
“Because I'd already agreed with Jotaro to host a party, but now I don't have to plan it and you'll be doing the chores for two months.”
Jonathan played him? JONATHAN played HIM?? How was this possible? This didn't happen to HIM, Joseph Joestar, the master of deception. Jonathan tossing something into his lap broke his train of thought, and he looked down at the bank card in his lap.
“Don't spend too much on decorations please, we still haven't sorted out the flowers or photographer.”
“What about costumes?”
“Hmmm… I'll let you know once I have an idea. Oh, and ask Jotaro about his; I don't want him getting something he hates… you know he'll just hide in the basement if he does.”
Joseph had stopped listening, he had the family bank card! He had a ridiculous amount of funds for the party, though he wouldn't use them, Jonathan and Erina deserved the perfect day in his opinion. He darted out the room, already messaging Caesar and Suzie on Discord as he headed to his own laptop.
ShootingStar20: Prty a go! Thms???
Qtie: Sexy! We should should be sexy themed!
Casoapnova: Sexy isn't a theme
Qtie: Yes it is!
Casoapnova: Witches is a theme, not sexy
ShootingStar20: sxy wtchs it is. Ill be th wtch
Qtie: I'm the cat!
Casoapnova: Jojo, please learn English, it's the least you could do. Also fix my damn name, this is stupid.
ShootingStar20: bsy
Smokescreen: yo guys, what did I miss??
Qtie: Joseph is throwing a halloween party, we're doing sexy witches. I'm a cat!
Casoapnova: No we're not, it's a stupid idea
Smokescreen: great idea, what am I?
ShootingStar20: sxy pmpkn
Casoapnova: That's stupid
Smokescreen: WTF JOJO
ShootingStar20: trst me, its a gd idea
Joseph's phone buzzed in his hand, and a small text symbol appeared on his top bar, and he scrolled it down to open it.
Bigjo: Joseph, I have spoken with Erina and we will be going as the Harpers from Dracula. Could you please have a look for some victorian clothing in my size please. You should have the measurements from the suit fitting we all went to.
Just as he was about to type out his reply, another came in.
Bigjo: Oh and something nice for Jotaro, not showy, you know how he can be.
Joseph shook his head, about to text back when yet another text came through.
Littlejo: dont, im getting my own
Joseph shook his head, sitting down at his desk and grabbing his mouse, opening a new chrome tab on his already on laptop, and beginning to look up costume stores with Victorian outfits. Everytime he would find one that he thought would suit Jonathan, they didn’t have it in his size, so he’d have to move onto the next one. After twenty websites he tabbed back into Discord, finally admitting he needed help.
Casoapnova : They’re in
Qtie: Maybe you should have asked first???
ShootingStar20: Yo gys, do u knw where i can get bigjo sized costumes??
Casoapnova: no idea, we’ll have the same issue jojo
ShootingStar20: OH NO
ShootingStar20: also wots this about people being in
Casoapnova: you know my cousin Gyro that’s fucking your cousin Johnny
ShootingStar20 : yeah?
Casoapnova: they’re coming to the party
Casoapnova: and they’re bringing Diego
ShootingStar20: dude no, if Diego comes then Dio will come, and you remember what happened the last time Dio and Jotaro were in a room together
Casoapnova: no, you mention it all the time but I wasn’t there
ShootingStar20: It was just after mum got really ill, Jotaro was confused, Dio was going on about how it was no big deal, Jotaro freaked out, they had a BIG fight, Jotaro ended up with multiple stab wounds, Dio almost lost his leg and they said it was lucky the knife glanced off his skull.
Casoapnova: holy shit what???
Qtie : I remember that, you were freaking out for your brothers
Casoapnova: I’ll make sure he doesn’t turn up then
Smokescreen: Yo i’ll text my cousin, she does custom pieces, she might be able to get it done, if she wants to do it.
ShootingStar20: See Caesarino, THIS is why smokey is my best friend
Casoapnova: And yet he wouldn’t suck your dick, unlike I
Qtie: Why are we talking about Caesar’s tongue?
Smokescreen: You three are gross when you get like this you know
Qtie: but you wouldn’t have us any other way!
Smokescreen: Yo Jojo, my cousin says she’ll make some but since she only has a few weeks she can’t do something that complicated…
Joseph sat there, thinking for a few minutes before sending a message back.
ShootStar20: Smokey, put me down for 3 costumes, I got an idea
----
The days passed, and Joseph got more and more nervous. All the decorations had arrived, and he’d brought a ton of food and booze, using his own small funds, he didn’t want to force Jonathan to compromise on the wedding. It was finally the morning of Halloween, and he started cleaning the house up, knowing Jonathan would hate it to be dirty with guests over, and to keep himself distracted from his rising panic. It was almost midday, and he’d just started to put the decorations up when there was a knock at the door. He rushed over, opening it clumsily, which resulted in his fingers getting caught. He shook his hand as he looked down, smiling at the well dressed woman in the doorway. She was frowning at him, holding three garment bags over her shoulder. This had to be Smokey’s cousin.
“Kayla, right?”
“And you must be… Joseph?”
“Yeah that’s me, did Smokey get you the money alright?”
“Yeah he did, I just want you to look over them before I go, so I don’t get yelled at.”
Joseph unzipped the three bags, his face grinning wildly as he inspected each outfit in turn. They were better than he had expected, they were perfect!
“Stay here a minute!”
He sprinted to the stairs, barrelling up them towards his room. Jotaro had to jump to the side to avoid being knocked down the stairs as Joseph slid into his room. He dived under the bed, pulling out his small wad of cash and grabbing a few extra bills before throwing it back under the draw. He sprinted down the stairs, jumping down the last few steps and almost slipping on the wooden floor as he landed. Jotaro was stood in the large living room doorway, looking over at the bags in confusion as Joseph ran up to Kayla.
“I want you to have this, they’re that good that I think you undercharged… MASSIVELY.”
“I..I can’t take this!”
“Please, and can I take your number, I have a few ideas for later!”
She looked shellshocked, before tears started to form in her eyes as she took the money.
“This..wow...thanks.”
He showed her to the door, thinking about a few costumes he wouldn’t mind getting so he could finally surprise his lovers, like he’d promised all that time ago. As he returned to the living room, Jonathan and Jotaro were both there, Jonathan curiously poking at the bags while Jotaro looked like he wanted to run away. The fidgeting told Joseph it was because he was desperate for a smoke.
“Are you two ready to see our costumes for tonight!”
“I told you not to get me one.”
“Oh come on Jotaro, Joseph has done a lot to get everything ready for tonight, you should wear the costume.”
Joseph smirked and unzipped the three bags, the smile on Jonathan’s face wavering for just a second, while Jotaro was frowning, hard.
“Yeah no, fuck this.”
“Jotaro don’t swear in the house! Joseph these are...lovely… but it’s…”
“I know, I’ll explain later, I need to finish tidying.”
Joseph ran off, leaving Jonathan stood in the living room.
“How am I going to explain this to Erina...”