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English
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Part 4 of Frerard stuff
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Published:
2014-03-03
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1,196
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1/1
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I can't ever wake up

Summary:

Gerard mumbled in his sleep sometimes, he knew that, it wasn't a big deal. No one cared anymore. But he had never screamed in his sleep before, and even when he had night terrors, they were never this bad.

Work Text:

Gerard mumbled in his sleep sometimes, he knew that, it wasn't a big deal. No one cared anymore. But he had never screamed in his sleep before, and even when he had night terrors, they were never this bad. He would have a bad dream about the collapse of the towers, see the bodies as they fell from the sky, and would wake up in a cold sweat. He would take a shower, drink a pot of coffee, and forget it. Write or draw something, if he couldn't. These dreams went away while he was touring or making music, which was always.

Until the band had decided to go to a haunted mansion to write their next album. Great idea at the time, not so great put in action. First off, Mikey had to leave because of his own problems, after sleeping on Gerards floor sometimes stopped working. Now Gerard was getting night terrors that would cause him to wake up shrieking and shaking in fear. Every time, they always seemed so real, too real.

The nightmares had started with the burning bodies again, always falling, an endless amount of people. Then he could hear their screaming, and it slowly started to sound like people he knew, people he loved. He could see people he loved dying in front of his eyes, and he wasn't able to do anything about it, because someone would always hold him back.

The names he would scream would vary, but it was mostly Mikey or Frank, and sometimes his mom, and even his grandma at times. Those were always the worst. He dreaded sleeping now, and would stay up all hours of the night, only taking five minute naps during practice sessions if he felt like he was going to pass out.

But Bob forced him to sleep one night, telling him that if he didn't sleep, he was going to end up passing out or dying from sleep deprivation, which Gerard didn't exactly believe, but whatever. Whatever floats Bobs boat.

He laid down in bed that night, and though he wasn't usually very religious, he prayed that he wouldn't have a night terror. Well, it wasn't actually praying, it was more 'dear god, can I fucking sleep for once? Thanks, bye.' and then Gerard rolled over and passed the fuck out.

Frank volunteered for the room across the hall from Gerard, knowing that he might be the only one who could calm him down while Mikey wasn't here. Honestly, he hoped that they would finish this record soon, he didn't think he could handle anymore mental breakdowns. Frank lie away for a little while, staring at the ceiling and softly humming to himself. His own nerves were shot, and they were all passing each other off, and there was more fights then ever before. Frank was sure that after they got on the road again, it would all be okay.

Just as he thought he was going to sleep, he heard a loud ear splitting scream, and something that sounded like a choked sob. Frank stumbled out of bed, tugging on an old Blink 182 shirt that he had discarded, and tugging on a pair of pajama pants he had laying around, and struggled to walk across the hallway without tripping over something.

He opened the door to Gerard room, and saw his best friend was just a small lump under the covers, letting out another tiny, heart broken sob. "N-No, not Mikey..." Gerard whimpered in his sleep, tugging the blankets up to his chin. Frank walked over, and placed a hand onto his shoulder, shaking softly to try and wake him up.

"Gee, wake up." Frank said, sounding groggy. Gerard pulled himself away from Franks grip, letting out a terror filled shout of surprise. "Gerard, come on. Whatever you're seeing, it's not real, none of it's real." Frank continued saying small words of encouragement, shaking Gerards shoulders in a small attempt at waking him up, though he knew it probably wouldn't work very well. Finally, exhaustion took over Frank, and he shoved Gerard over in the bed a bit, and climbed in, pulling the covers up. "Shut up or wake up, last chance." He said, only somewhat joking.

"Frankie, you're burning." He heard Gerard whisper, and sat up quickly, glancing down at his very not burning body.

"Um, no, no I do believe I am not burning, I'm actually a little cold."

"But you fell when the plane crashed... Now you're going to burn, just like Mikey, and Elena... You're going to die, and I won't be able to save you." Gerards sentence ended in a loud sob, and his arm flailing out, reaching for something that wasn't there, but Frank knew vaguely what he was trying to do, so he shifted over so that his body was flush against Gerards side.

"I'm not burning, Mikeys not burning, everything is okay, no one's dying anymore." Frank mumbled, trying to sound comforting, but probably sounding terrified. Gerard was having 911 dreams again, and last time that happened... Frank didn't even wanted to think about that time of his life. As soon as Frank said these words as he pressed himself against Gerard, his eyes sprung open, and he sat up, shaking and gripping at Franks arms.

"Y-You're okay, you're fine!" Gerard exclaimed sleepily, his grip on Franks arms slightly painful, but he sat through it.

"Yes, I'm okay, fucking tired and done with this house, but over all, pretty good." Gerard seemed to collapse against Frank at these words, tears still coming as he draped his arms around Franks shoulders, and started sobbing openly.

"I'm so fucking glad you're okay." He said after he was able to speak, pulling back. "I was so scared I would wake up and you would be burned in your bed, so scared." Gerard managed to choke out, and Frank rubbed his back soothingly.

"Not getting rid of me that easily." Frank replied, and Gerard nodded.

"Please stay?"

"What, you were going to kick me out? Asshole." Frank rolled his eyes, and laid back down. "I'm not going anywhere until I get at least six hours of sleep, and you need like twelve. So lay the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and sleep." Gerard laughed , and complied. It was only after he was absolutely sure Frank was asleep that he shuffled slightly so that he could lean over, and kiss Franks temple, mumbling a quiet 'I love you, and I wish I could tell you, but I don't want to lose you.', then he rested his head against Franks shoulder, and let himself rest.

The nightmares didn't stop, but they didn't get any worse, and every single night, Frank would eventually stumbled his way into Gerards room, and snuggle down beside him in the blankets. The last night they were there, Gerard slept nightmare free, and Frank rolled over in the bed a few minutes after midnight, and kissed Gerard temple, and mumbled the words he had been thinking for the past three weeks.

I love you too, and I wish you would tell me, so that I would never have to leave."

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