Work Text:
The STEM wasn't particularly stable that day, so the outskirts of the town were cracking and its pieces were flying all around. Stefano was stranding through Union. He was extremely frustrated as the latest art piece, that he was creating right ouside Sebastian's window in their safe house wishing to surprise him, was burned to the ground by some fire throwing zombie bastard. Sebastian sure was surprised but the piece was ruined forever. And now he had to find inspiration for his next masterpiece.
In the place filled with disfigured bodies and walking and moaning monstrosities something surely would give some ideas. Stefano's pace was slow as he looked around hoping to locate something that would catch his attention.
"No... no... nothing here either", he mumbled. "Oh! That's- just a pile of trash..."
He groaned in frustration kicking the bag that tricked him. The groan immediately became that of pain. Being shot in the head? Pffff. Hitting your foot on something hard and metalic hidden in the trash? Yeah, that's real pain. And the tip of his shoe was now scratched!
"What a day! No inspiration, no art, only frustration and a need for some new shoes...", he thought as he flung his leg on the railing right by the edge of the broken world to examine the damage. And then something suddenly came into his view. He froze in place for a good minute unable to believe his own eye. Behind the railing, that once was a part of a large house, the ground collapsed. Most of the house was nowhere to be found but the kitchen was still floating just a couple meters away from the beginning of the abyss. Half of the kitchen was in ruins, table and chairs lying in pieces on the floor. However, on top of the untouched fridge there was a box. A relatively big box of Oreos. Double Stuf Oreos, mind you. The sight made his mouth water as he wondered when was the last time he had even seen an Oreo cookie. Perfectly sweet white filling... Mindblowing chocolate wafers... Mmm... He used to be absolutely crazy about those... Stefano shook his head trying to get rid of the desire for this filthy philistine snack. But it didn't really help. He phased through the air and landed in the middle of the floating room, approached the fridge but quickly stopped and turned his back to the box, collecting his thoughts to just leave it be. Convinced that the urge is over the artist activated his ability determined to go back to the main land and continue his search. When the teleport was over he found himself by the fridge again, box in his hands slightly shaking with excitement.
"They must be all spoilt by now", he tried assuring himself seconds before pulling out his favourite knife and impatiently slicing through the box.
...............................................................................................
Castellanos remembered the moment he saw the now friendly (kinda) psycho enter the building. He was too busy crafting bullets to pay close attention, but only now he realized that something
was off. Stefano's behavior patterns did not include carefully opening the door, greeting his partner with a simple quick "Hello" and unnoticeably disappearing from his sight. No, whenever Stefano entered the room after long enough absence, it was impossible not to notice him. He would brag about some gory new material he was able to obtain, shove detached body parts into Seb's face or find other ways to mock him for not understanding his art. But today when he returned, he was awfully humble. Nice even? Something definately was wrong. Sebastian decided to investigate, secretly hoping that the artist being in high spirits would lend him his teleportation ability to reach an angel statue stuck on the rooftop of their new safe house.
Softness of his every step became an accidental habit of his ever since the Beacon incident. Not a single board creaked under his feet as Sebastian walked towards the room the artist claimed for himself. Sebastian quietly opened the door after deciding that it would be kinda rude to kick it open right before asking for help.
Stefano liked this safe house the most as it was very spacious and had several rooms to choose from. The room was furnished fancily (though the detective couldn't quite figure out where he found all those things and how he got them upstairs) and was definately cleaner than it had ever been before Stefano's intervention.
Stefano was sitting on the large classy bed, deep red bedsheets commemorating his so called Crimson Period, and munching on something in his hand. In less than a few seconds Sebastian experienced two of Stefano's rarest emotions and couldn't believe his eyes. At first Valentini looked... genuinely happy. Not cocky, not annoyed, not bored, not even flirtily lewd. Just happy. Licking some cookie-like object, his eye closed. But the second he opened it and noticed Sebastian, who wasn't really hiding at all, just trying not to drop his jaw completely, his face morphed into some weird kind of fear that is usually exclusive to little kids, caught red handed eating sweets before dinner. Not psychotically artistic serial killers.
Immediately he shoved the remains of whatever he was holding in his mouth and kicked some kind of blue box under the bed with the heel of his boot. Sebastian got a bit closer and now was able to see an Oreo wrapping with just half of the cookie, licked clean of its white filling, behind Stefano. He turned back to see the bloodshed loving killer with his mouth full of Oreo desperately trying to swallow it all. His brain connected the dots and suddenly the man shrieked in laughter, remembering how the other recently scolded him for drinking "that disgusting cheap coffee". He couldn't stop laughing for quite some time while Stefano, bright red, chewed it to the point of being able to swallow.
"So, fellow philistine, are you busy right now?", Sebastian asked, trying to calm down as he looked at the highly distressed artist.
Stefano, now his mouth empty, looked gradually more and more pissed with every second.
"It's jst... I was... these fucking cookies!", his face got even more red as he looked up at the laughing man. "W-whatever! What do you want from me?!"
"There is a statue on the roof", said Sebastian finally reaching zen.
"Go find a ladder!", Valentini spat out sharply, calming down just a bit. "I'm not here to fetch random crap for you."
"Oh, come on! You shouldn't get so upset!", the detective grinned. "I mean, I know I interrupted your true art of licking that cookie clean and-"
"Alright," Stefano sighed in annoyance and walked to the door. "I'll help you out... just shut up already."
"Sorry, sorry," the grin became even wider, eyes shining with mischief. "But I bet you are the best in town at licking off that sweet white creamy goodness-"
"Really?!", Stefano exclaimed, extremely flustered. "Are you a fucking teenager?!"
"I should be offended! But how can I be?", Sebastian mimiced and started to crack up again, but quickly changed his mind. His eyes narrowed and his smile became sly unexpectedly even for himself.
"I wonder if I can... look at your performance closer next time..."
