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It all started when I was sitting on my mother’s bed one day before she went out on a date with dad. She looked beautiful. She didn’t always put on makeup only on date and special occasions. It was something she said that she could do to prolong the day for she can think. It was so much fun to watch her and when she had asked if I wanted to help, I had quickly jumped out of bed and raced to my mother’s side. It became our thing and when she started to get sick where she was having trouble, I did her makeup for her and even her clothing. I would practice on myself when mom was lying down and dad was at work. I wanted it to be a private thing for both mom and me. I was my mom’s little angel and she made sure she always told me that even when her mind started to leave her.
The day she died she seemed to be getting a little bit better, so she asked me to do her makeup and I had agreed. I had spent at least a good hour making her into the woman that I want to remember her as. I had even asked Melissa to get mom a simple wig.
So, when I finished and placed the wig perfectly on my mother’s head, she simply smiled at me like she used to and she had said, “My little angel, no matter if you continue or not, I will always love you. No matter what, you do and who you love, you are my angel and I will always be with you.”
I remembered her having a small seizure where I wasn’t allowed into the room for a good few hours and when I was, I spent it holding her hand telling her what I wanted to do her makeup as next. I told her my plans until she had looked over and I saw the life leave her eyes right before the machines told anyone that she flatlined. The nurse had to drag me away and right away I was carted off to a chair a bit way for I wouldn’t be able to see into my mother’s room. I had my backpack and I played with it looking inside to see I had all my mother’s makeup. I pulled the bag to my chest and let myself cry. I remember a boy who was a bit older than me with beautiful kaleidoscope eyes sit next to me. He asked me what was wrong and when I told him he didn’t pity me instead he hummed. He started to tell me that he’s there cause his mom got in an accident and that his new sibling should be born soon. When his head perked up looking at a pair of doors where an older man walked out with a huge smile telling him that he had a new baby sister. The boy didn’t leave me alone instead he asked if he wanted to see the baby not even asking his dad. When I had walked in, I remember looking at the baby as she opened her eyes and she had my mother’s eyes making me cry. When I told them the boy's mother smiled as she asked me what my mother’s name was and after I told her she smiled over at me. “Would it be alright if we named our daughter that?” I had nodded my head as the woman smiles as she thanked me. I got to hold the baby and when my dad came to pick me up, I told him about the nice family, and I remember the tears falling even more down his face.
I didn’t think much of the family after that wanting to forget about the pain, but the next day that my dad was away I put on the look that I told mom I’d do for her next. It took a long time for my dad and me to reconnect after my mother’s death and even today we’re not as close as I’d like us to be. Sure, I’m only 19 but I feel like all of this had aged me at least double my age. I haven’t even told my dad that I kept my tradition of doing my own makeup and had even kept a few of my mom’s favorite outfits to dress up in. No one knows and I’d like to keep it that way.
Groaning I find myself staring at the fruit and veggie stands at the local market. I sigh when I find myself standing in front of Talia Hale a woman who I swear seems too familiar most days. I mean I feel comfortable with her unlike another woman her age since she’s the same age my mother would be.
“Stiles, what would you like today?”
I smile as I look up at her, “The usual, I guess. Do you have any squash yet?”
She chuckles as she nods her head. She’s quiet before she shouts, “Derek Hale, grab a squash from that box.”
I hear a man groan as he shouted back, “Mom, I did not come back for the summer to get yelled at and bossed around. Plus, we both know that box only has one squash for your favorite customer.” I watch a beautiful man turn the corner with a bit of dark scruff that matches his black hair, but what gets me is his eyes. Eyes I know I would never forget, but he can’t be that kind boy from 8years ago.
“Yes, I know now grab it then grab Claude for she can get some ice cream.” I bite my lip and Talia seems to realize something, “Oh…. Derek, bring Claude up with you I’d like her to meet someone.”
I watch as a beautiful little 8year old turns the corner with long brown hair and eyes a lot like her brother’s, but they are a bit more violet than any other color. She’s a bit tall for her age, but she hides it with a cute little dress and gladiator sandals. I watch the man set the box down as he looks at me as if to say, ‘upset either of them and I’ll rip your throat out with my teeth.’
Talia grabs her daughter steering her to the other side of their booth so she’s standing in front of me, “Claude, I’d like you to meet the little boy that named you.”
I watch the little girl's eyes light up, “You mean the boy that had a bit of blush and that on his cheeks.” I stiffen as I hear this, “Der said he thought it was kind of adorable.”
I peek at Derek to see a faint blush on his cheeks as he shrugs, “He was adorable, Claude. Do you remember what we say to people that we’re thankful for?”
I have my arms filled with an 8yearold and I look down at her to see her face that’s lit up bright, “Thank you for naming me. I love my name even though people say it sounds a bit old. I like it cause I know where it came from. Your mommy must be pretty if you named me after her.”
I can’t help the tears that fall from my eyes as I brush some of the girl’s hair from her face, “Yes, my mother was beautiful and I’m glad you’re making her name proud.”
I watch the girl’s nose twitch and a bit of a whine escape her throat, “Don’t be sad. Ohh… I know how about you get ice cream with Derek and me?”
I stop and realize that the girls want me to meet them in Jungle and I have to be dressed up or they’ll yell at me… again. Ever since I told them my secret that no one knows, except maybe my mother, they want me to be more confident in my drag. I agreed that I’d try to go out in drag to see them since they give me a present every year since I first met them when I was only 15.
“I would love too, Claudia,” I choke a bit on her name, “but I’m supposed to meet some friends soon. I don’t want to be late. How about another time?”
She pouts as she looks up at me, “But I want ice cream with you right now.” I chuckle realizing that the little girl is a spoiled princess, but she also seems to have a heart of gold as she adds, “You seem sad and ice cream cheers everyone up, even Derek.”
I once again look at Derek to see he still has a scowl on his lips, but it’s not reaching his eyes instead they seem a bit embarrassed and happy.
“Really, that’s amazing.” I stop to think not knowing what brings me to do this, “How about I give your mom my number and we can set up a day to do so? I’m a bit busy with some shopping, but I'll make time for you.”
“You promise?” the lil girl asks with hopeful eyes and a lil of something else behind it.
I nod my head, “Yes, I promise.” I pay Talia and take the box since it only was being used for my squash, “Thanks, Talia. I got to go or else I’m going to be late.”
She nods her head and I can’t help, but to hear Claudia say to her mother, “He smells like makeup and nail polish.”
“Claude, so what if he does?” I hear Derek tell his sister in a tone I can’t place.
I feel my cheeks heat up as I race to my jeep and then my home. I look at the mirror next to the door that has been there since my mom moved in with my dad over 20 years ago. I stare at myself trying to figure out if I still had any makeup residue from last night. I don’t find any and kind of shrug as I make my way up the stairs with my mind on Derek Hale and not his little sister. I think how he had beefed up a little bit since I last saw him. Behind that scowl, I can tell he’s a kind and caring person.
I sigh as I strip down to nothing. I quickly pick out a simple black bodycon dress and pair it with a plaid shirt to wrap around my waist. Before I start, I slip on my padding for I can be this other part of me that I enjoy being compared to being the me that I walk around town as. I pull on my laptop an older season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. It’s a bit more drama than I’d like, but it’s also nice and makes me feel better as a human being.
I’m pulling on and pinning my wig cap on when my phone goes off and I quickly pause the show to answer, “Hello.”
“Hey, Stiles Allison and I had a fight can I come over?”
I groan at my friend and how tired I am of this bullshit it doesn’t help after he had gotten the bite when we were 15 if anything it made us closer, but at the same time we couldn’t be any farther apart.
“Scott, I’m going out tonight to hang out with some friends that I haven’t seen in a while. Look We can hang out all tomorrow… after you know 1 pm when I wake up.”
I hear a bit of a growl as Scott answers, “Fine. I’ll talk to you later, Stiles.”
I hang up a bit hurt, but my best friend acting like that. Still, I push past that as I pull the dress over myself. I pull on the plaid shirt buttoning it up all the way so it’s covering my dress. I might be good at my makeup, but that doesn’t mean that the powder doesn’t hate me and everything black. I start my makeup doing my eye makeup first since I’m a bit messy with the eyeshadow. I decided to make my eyeshadow with my blue plaid shirt, but instead of a dark black, I go a bit more for tans and brown. It doesn’t take me long unlike the eyelashes still do. I try to keep the contouring and highlighting as light as possible as I try to make my face more feminine looking. As I finish up, I set up my simple long wavy brown hair wig on. I find myself standing in front of the mirror standing in front of Leia Sky after Leia Skywalker in probably the best movie franchise ever. I chuckle at myself as I blow myself a small kiss like my mother always would before she left her room after she or I would finish her makeup.
When I find myself parking in front of Jungle, I pull on my dress a bit in worry, but finally, I give up cause Felicia is blowing up my phone telling me I better get my pretty little ass inside. She knows me so well. I chuckle as I slip out of the jeep and make my way to the door and I hear whispers about the weird girl being here. I shrug knowing I do more of a normal girl makeup instead of some of the over the top drag makeup you can catch some people doing especially when you go to clubs like this. I spot Felicia and the girls in their usual spot. I chuckle as I run up to them the best I can in my platforms. I wrap my arms around Felicia since she’s my favorite and I wouldn’t tell any of the other girls.
“Hey, the doll I have to say that you look amazing. I’m so happy that you’ve finally allowed yourself to come out dressed so beautifully. Oh, that reminds me you must meet my best friend. He’s amazing.” I look at Felicia lifting an eyebrow at her and she sighs, “Whatever. I would not date him though he goes both ways.”
“Why wouldn’t you date him?”
“Alright, so we met shortly after we started college when he had a fling with my sister. It was a bit weird and yeah he’s hot and oh my god his ass.”
“Hey, I heard that are you talking about my ass all over again,” I hear a familiar voice joke with Fe.
“Of course, I am, plus,” she gives me a look and a give her a look and she sighs, “Leia really needs to get laid.” I gasp as I hit her on the chest right in her ribs, “Leia, can’t you be more feminine,” Fe whines as she rubs where I hit her. I scuff not wanting to turn towards the guy and Fe sighs, “I guess ignore her she’s a bit sensitive today anyways.”
I go a bit stiff, “How’d you know that?” I ask her in a frillier voice I had practiced since I saw my first drag.
“Ohhh… sweetie’s cause the look on your face before you walked up when you checked your phone is that boy causing issues for you?”
“You mean my brother?” I ask him, “Yeah, well he’s being an ass,” under my breath, I mumble, “stupid fucking werewolves.”
I finally turn around to face Derek and the look on his face isn’t shock, but something close to awe, “Wow Leia, you look beautiful.”
I feel a blush grace my cheeks, “Thank you, Derek.” I look down at my hands as I bite my lip to keep too much of a smile break through.
Fe looks between us and a smile forms on her lips, “Do you know Leia from somewhere, Derek?”
I watch Derek snap out of his little thoughts, “Yeah…. You can say that. Leia was a sweet little kid I told you about that named my sister.”
“Ahh the little cutie that had a bit of blush from doing his mother’s makeup before she…. Oh my god then he’s the one,” she looks between us as she takes our hands pulling us together, “How about you two spend some time together and if I see you separate within the next hour you know the punishment will be horrid.”
I feel a slight tug on my lips as I fight a smile along with a shiver, “Oh course, Fe. You, Lydia, and my father are the ones that scare me the most in life.”
She giggles as she elbows Derek in the side before she runs off. I chuckle as I watch her, and he seems to have the same look on his own face.
I look up at him lifting my arms to show myself off, “So as you see…”
He awkwardly nods his head, “Yes, I figured as much when you were wearing blush that day in the hospital. You look amazing as you are, Leia was it?”
I chuckle as I lean against him, “Really?”
“Yeah,” he answers simply, and I look up to see something like how Scott looks at Allison, who is his mate.
I feel my phone vibrate and I sigh as I look up at Derek, “Sorry.”
I look down to see Scott had messaged me, “Allison's dad tried to shoot me with a wolfsbane bullet.”
I sigh as I look at Derek again and simply message Scott back, “What the hell did you do, and secondly did he hit you?”
“Seriously, Stiles. He did not hit me, and Alison might be pregnant.”
I groan as I look down at myself as I mutter, “I don’t want to go there looking as I do.”
“What’s wrong with how you’re dressed?”
I look up at Derek a bit shocked that he heard me, “None of my close friends and family that I know before I started to come here, know about my favorite past time.”
“Why not? You’re beautiful and it seems to make you happy,” he’s more so shouting this close to my face cause of the loud music, but my heart still skips a beat from sheer happiness.
I point out, “Do you want to go outside for a lil bit.”
Derek shrugs, “Sure.”
We make it outdoors and I find myself feeling more sluggish than I’d like already this early into the night.
“So why doesn’t anyone know?”
I look up at him, “It was just for my mom and me. It started with me watching her get ready for some date with my dad or some event. Then she got sick and I started to do her makeup and hair. I even got her a few wigs that she hardly ever wore. When she died that night, I found myself staring into my backpack and realizing that I spent that last few moments trying to make her feel like there was going to be another tomorrow. I had all these ideas on what to do next and she’d never got to try any of those looks…. I did. At first, it was to try to keep a memory of her alive even though I still remembered a bit of your mom naming your sister after my mother. I wanted to do something that wasn’t just trying to keep my dad and me alive. I wanted something that she taught me.”
“So, you picked beauty?” Derek asks and I notice a look of understanding and something else, but I don’t see a hint of pity much like that day.
I nod my head with a smile gracing my lips, “Yeah, like beauty.”
“So is it wrong that I want to just message Fe that we decided to go to a dinner just outside the city limits.”
I smile as I look up at him, “I like the way you think.”
The dinner is a bit crowded with party goers and leavers. Still, we find a small table for just the 2 of us easily since most are large groups. As we sit there, we just talk something I’ve never really done and had someone listen. Even when I go in detail on how I got to where I am today.
It’s a bit later in the night when Derek asks, “That text early it wasn’t important.”
I shake my head, “No, I mean my friend might be a dad soon and the girl’s dad took a shot at him.”
“Did he get hit?”
“Nope, Chris loves Ally too much and she’s all he has left. Trust me if Chris wanted to hit him, he would have done it.”
“Chris? You seem familiar with her family?”
“Yeah, the first year and a half of their relationship were on and off again. Though after months of dating the first break-up was the cause of her family. Yeah, he might be an Argent, but he wants his daughter to be happy more than anything.”
I watch Derek’s shoulders stiffen and I think I remember something that Talia has told me about her son’s crazy ex that I believe to be Chris’ sister.
“I guess then you’d know Scott’s wolfy secret easily?”
He nods his head and I sigh relaxing in the seat, “Thank god, do you know how iffy it is trying to date someone when your brother likes to wolf out whenever he’s being a dumbass.”
“So, from the sounds of it all the time,” Derek more so states making me giggle.
“I love Scottie, but he can be a bit dense or self-absorbed. When he and Ally first got together how much he missed cause he was too busy thinking of other words for her beauty was ridiculous. I bet if I told him of this it’d pass over his head until he’d be alone then he’d have to call her to tell her the news.”
I watch the beautiful face of the kind man in front of me wince. I know the feeling still I go quietly looking at my hands until one of them is covered by the strong hand of a Derek Hale. I’m not sure exactly how long we simply sit in the booth barely touching the best pie in the world for we could spend the time talking. We touch on all subjects of life and I find out that he’s going to Berkley himself, but none of his classes line up with mine so the idea of being in the same building at the time would be hard to believe. The entire time we sit there talking he doesn’t let go of my hand and I’m okay with that cause it’s grounding for me. I mean he’s the first person to see me in drag and all he wants to do is ask me simple questions that don’t make me feel like shit about my passion.
When the night is closing and Derek takes me back to Jungle so I can pick up my car cause for some reason I had ridden in his car, but again it’s a sleek black Camaro that just screams hot sex. To say that when he walks me to my fucking beat up jeep without making any jokes or comments about the beauty instead, he says that he’d like to take a ride in it sometimes has my heart melting. I bite my lower lip as a smile takes over my face and I find myself with my back to the car facing Derek. I want to grab his shirt and pull him to me for I can kiss those beautiful lips. Man, why is everything about this man beautiful?
I find myself pulled from my dream when he asks me, “Would you like to do this again sometime?”
Play coy remember what Fe taught you, “Do what, again?”
Derek gets a small little smile on his lips as looks at me, “You know date… that will be one where I ask you out to dinner?”
I keep a handle on myself somehow from jumping up and down while a cheer, “Of course I'd love to go on a date sometime.”
I find myself kissing him and my breath is taken away like a clique romcom. My back is against the jeep and I couldn’t care less. This is by far the best kiss of my life for it isn’t shy and awkward, but it’s also not rushed and sickening. It’s somehow in the middle and just perfects the way it is until I hear a police siren. I quickly pull away from Derek, but he has a decent hold on me that I don’t end up hurting myself.
“Stiles are you alright?” he asks me, and I simply shake my head.
“No, the siren just scared me. Look I’m free tomorrow night no matter what Scottie says so how about we go out then.”
Derek smiles at me as he hands me a small piece of paper, “That sounds amazing. Here’s my number and dress however you want though it’ll be a bit casual nothing over the top.”
“So, if I dressed like I am now?” I can’t help but ask him.
“Well you look amazing so come as you want, and I’ll have no complaints.”