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Jonathan trudged down the streets, throwing his umbrella in the bin. Of course Dio had used it when he last went out drinking with his weird uni society, or cult dedicated to him, Jonathan wasn’t sure which one of the two options was true anymore, and ruined it. And of course he’d taken Jonathan’s care out for a spin and crashed it, leaving him to walk in the rain in the first place! He let out a sigh and started to walk across the abandoned car park, trying to ignore the rather shady figure hanging out by the front door, but it was too late. And that was how Jonathan ended up being stood outside Asda, a rather dodgy and skeevy Asda with that, at 3am, facing down a thug, with nothing but a toaster on him, in the pouring rain. He’d been in weirder situations. The thug pulled out a knife, waving it slightly at him.
“I said, give me your money!”
Jonathan let out a sigh. He needed to return the toaster because he was skint, not a single penny to his name; His adopted foster brother had used his card to buy a new toaster, after he broke the last one in a drunken toast accident, and being Dio, he’d brought a rather expensive one. Why anyone needed to spend £150 on a toaster, when you could get a functioning one for £5 he didn’t know.
“I don’t have any!”
“Everyone has some!”
The thug waved his knife again, the long scar running down his face reflected in the blade. Jonathan sighed, he was tired, in his pyjamas bottoms and a hoodie, and really wanting to just buy some crumpets for the morning.
“Please, I have literally 6p in my account.”
“Wait… really.. That’s kinda sad actually.” The guy stood up, looking actually very shocked.
“I know, my brother spent all the money I had on this toaster.” He held the toaster up slightly.
“Damn, what an arse. How much was it anyway?”
“£150”
“What? Who spends £150 on a toaster!” The two of them stood there awkwardly, a plastic bag blowing along the abandoned car park.
“Listen, I’m not going to rob you, in fact, I’ll give you my business card! If you ever get short of cash, let me know! I have some jobs you could do!” The strange man pulled out his business card, and handed it over to the rather confused Jonathan before walking off. Jonathan looked down at the rather expensive business card, ivory with embossed grey checks on it, and in beautiful gold script, said Robert E.O Speedwagon, Acquisitions. He stood there, soaked to the bone, confused as what the hell just happened to him.
