Work Text:
“We can’t become them when we fight them, Cassian, remember that,” His father was so serious and Cassian nodded to show he understood but he didn’t really.
“I’ll remember, Papa. When will you be back?” He knew his father was going to tell the Republic how they were wrong to fight and war would create war.
“I don’t know but you’ll be safe here until I do. Do everything Paolo says and don’t go looking for trouble,” Then his father smiled and ruffled Cassian’s hair, he knew his Papa worried about him but he couldn’t not do anything.
“I don’t, Papa. I look for ways to right things like you said to,” He sat a little straighter, he was growing up and had to help.
“I know but I’ve seen your hands bloody and dirty. It might feel good to throw something but all that does is make you a target for them,” His father was sad, he didn’t want that.
Cassian looked up at his father and nodded, “But I have good aim and I also listen. I’m good at listening and remembering what people say.”
His father hugged him tightly as he said, “Oh Cassian, keep safe for me. Don’t let them get you.”
*******
“She doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into. I can’t risk her,” Organa’s voice carried in the almost empty briefing room.
Cassian was doing some analyses at one of the stations and looked up to see Organa and Mothma. This wasn’t where they normally talked and he stood up as Mothma said, “I know. She’s so young.”
He made certain his chair made noise and they both glanced at him as he said, “Senators, I was just leaving.”
“No, I have a question for you, Captain Andor,” Organa’s gaze seemed to pierce Cassian, seeing everything wrong that he’d ever done for the Rebellion.
Cassian understood Organa not wanting his daughter involved, but she was making a presence for herself on the edges of the Rebellion. He didn't know what he might be able to say, his life was nothing like hers, “Yes, sir.”
“Your family, what did they think of your choice to fight?” As Organa asked, Mothma seemed to watch him more. He’d worked near her once, she must have read his files.
There was no reason for Organa to know and he kept his own gaze steady as he looked between them, behind his back, his clasped his wrist to keep control. This was simply another report, “My father died at the end of the Clone Wars protesting military expansion and my mother died when I was young. I couldn’t do what my father did so I found what I could do and I chose that as a boy. It’s not what he would have wanted for me but I believe he would have respected my choice.”
Cassian knew his father wouldn’t have approved, not of the kind of work he did, but of the reason he did it. If he took on the worst jobs that meant another child would be saved that pain. Organa wanted to protect his daughter but it was hard to live in the Empire and be safe. The fact that she’d had this many years was a testament to what was possible and Organa’s love and protection. He took a breath as he continued to feel the Senators’ gazes, “Your daughter is choosing to act. Help her to not have to act alone, because this is lonely work.”
The two Senators were quiet, he saw them share a glance as Mothma rested a gentle hand on his arm which Cassian stared at for too long. Compassion was behind the Rebellion, built it, he didn’t think he deserved theirs. He looked up and managed a nod to her as she said, “Thank you for your openness, Captain Andor.”
*******
Cassian reached Jyn and her father as the platform shuddered even more, “Jyn, we have to go.”
Galen’s eyes were open as he looked between them and Cassian wanted to pull Jyn away but she needed this. He wondered if Jyn had even heard him with how all of her was focused on her father. Cassian never knew how his father died just he was gone. His hand was on her shoulder as Galen spoke, “Jyn. Look at you. I have so much to tell you.“
Jyn shifted under his hand as Galen died and Cassian pulled her up, they needed to go. He wished, this wasn’t the time to think on wishes, they had to get to safety. Though she’d been given time with her father, that was something to hold onto. She moved with him but slowly. What if this broke her? Cassian couldn’t allow himself to worry about that, they had to get off of Eadu, tell the Alliance about the weapon. Jyn was strong and angry, but this was her father. That would push her on, he hoped it would be toward action not against the Rebellion.
*******
After the briefing, Cassian had found a ‘fresher and splashed water on his face before looking at himself. His father had talked about not becoming as bad as those you fought, but he had. He hadn’t enjoyed what he did, but that didn’t matter.
All his actions might have helped slightly but he’d also created more pain than how his actions had helped. It was time to change that, to stand by Jyn, to give her a way to finish what her father had started.