Work Text:
Lance was totally happy with his current dating situation. His boyfriend was a total hottie. Super nice. Smart. And amazing in bed. Yup. Everything was absolutely perfect. Except for one thing:
Shiro’s other boyfriend.
Now, Lance knew from the get-go that Shiro was dating someone else. It wasn’t like he’d hidden the fact or anything like that. And Lance was totally cool with it. That was, until he met the infamous Keith.
What made it bad was not the fact that Shiro and Keith were living together. No, that Lance could handle. It was the fact that Lance knew him. Well, he didn’t know him exactly, but they’d gone to school together. And he was always one-upping Lance every chance he got. In sports, in clubs, with girls – well, they tended to flock to Keith whether he realized or not – and with boys – the guy was popular, okay?! – And not to mention, in their actual classes.
Yeah. Lance and Keith had been rivals.
Oh, but what made it infinitely worse was the fact that Keith hadn’t remembered him. Like…at all. In fact, when Shiro invited Lance over while his boyfriend was still home – about to head out, but what timing, right? – he introduced them and Keith, that jerk, just acted like he’d never seen Lance before in his entire life!
Rude. Ugh. Lance couldn’t stand him.
But he really, really liked Shiro. Like, would figuratively – and literally – bend over backwards for him. So…he could deal with Keith. He supposed.
However, as time went on and Lance and Keith tended to bump into each other more often – Would you believe it? They even work in the same building, frequent the same coffee shop, and workout at the same gym! – well, the more they saw each other, the harder it was for Lance to hide his dislike for the other man and…
“What’s your problem?!” Keith had erupted after one of Lance’s snide remarks – admittedly made in poor taste.
“You’re my problem!” Lance had fired back. And, thankfully, they’d both been in the twenty-four-hour gym super late when no one else was around. Though, Lance was pretty sure Shiro’d had to negotiate the deletion of some surveillance camera footage. It was a good thing he was old friends with the gym’s owner.
After that, Lance and Keith had been sat down on the couch and lectured like children. And, despite the anger and frustration welling up inside him at that moment – and the pain from his split lip and what would surely be a black eye – Lance knew that Shiro was right. If he wanted to keep things going with Shiro, he’d have to get along with Keith. They didn’t need to be best friends. But they needed to be civil. And Lance could do that.
At least, he was pretty sure he could.
A few weeks after the fight, Lance found himself on Shiro’s couch once again. Only this time, he was waiting for his boyfriend to get ready for their date. Of course, Keith just had to be home. And, even though the other had tried to sneak off into the bedroom, Shiro had put a hand on his shoulder and directed him toward the couch, firmly insisting that he take a seat and ‘make Lance feel welcome.’
They’d been sitting there for five minutes and Keith hadn’t said a word.
So, Lance – being the bigger man – decided to break the silence and set a good example. He turned toward Keith and took in the other’s appearance. He was wearing a red leather jacket and black fingerless gloves. Okay, so fashion wasn’t a good topic. He glanced up and noted that the other’s mullet was finally long enough to pull into a ponytail. So, there was that.
“You growing your hair out?” Lance asked, catching Keith’s attention.
Keith turned toward him, a hand sneaking up to mess with his hair tie. “Oh. Not really. It was just…getting in the way, so…” he trailed off, clearing his throat.
Well, that probably broke the record for the world’s shortest conversation.
Lance tried again. “There’re supposed to be food trucks parked out in front of the building on Monday,” he said. “You going?”
“Lance.” Keith faced him again. “You don’t have to do this.”
At that, Lance frowned. “Do what?”
“This.” He held his hands up. “The small talk.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I get that you don’t like me, so…it’s fine.”
Lance sat up straighter. “What do you mean ‘I don’t like you’?” he asked. “Last I checked, it was you who didn’t like me.”
Keith had the audacity to raise his brows in confusion. “Are you kidding?”
“Um, no?” Lance offered. “You were the one who hated me so much back in high school that you actually forgot I existed.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Go on…your move.”
“I…” Keith began, blinking owlishly. “I’m…sorry.”
Whoa. Okay. So, Lance hadn’t been expecting an apology. All right, he could roll with that.
“Wha…?”
Nice going. Very suave.
“I’m sorry…that I forgot who you were,” Keith went on. “Back in high school, I was kind of a mess…emotionally. So…I sort of blocked a lot of it out.”
Lance swallowed. He’d intended to make nice with Shiro’s other boyfriend and now he found himself holding a figurative can of worms with the metaphorical opener in his other hand. “Yeah…um…” Lance mirrored Keith, rubbing at his nape. “It’s okay.”
They sat in silence for a moment and Lance hoped beyond hope that Shiro was done getting ready. But the shower was still running, so he knew he had a few more minutes left to kill. He just needed to find a good subject. Maybe something they had in common. But something they wouldn’t end up arguing about.
Then an idea struck him. “Hey,” he began, gently nudging Keith in the arm. “You know when Shiro sneezes? And it…kind of sounds like-”
“A chipmunk?” Keith finished for him, a smile curving his lips. “Yeah, I know! It’s cute, right?”
“Yes! It’s so funny. Coming from such a big guy.” Lance laughed. “He’s adorable.”
“You should see him when he first wakes up,” Keith added. “Before he has his coffee, he’s like a zombie. But you can pretty much get him to do whatever you want.”
“Oh?” Lance quirked a brow. “And you’ve taken advantage of this, have you?”
“Not often,” Keith admitted, with a sly grin. “Only when I need to borrow his car or if I plan on making an expensive purchase.”
Lance placed a hand over his heart, trying his best to look scandalized.
“With my money,” Keith clarified. “He just usually tries to talk me out of things.”
“Like adding another knife to that huge collection you’ve got working?” Lance offered and snickered as Keith’s cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink.
“He told you about that, huh?” Keith ducked his head, looking a little sheepish and, despite their past and everything else, Lance found it kind of cute.
“Don’t worry.” Lance held a hand up in a scout’s salute. “I’ll take it to my grave.”
Keith snorted and shoved him, but not hard enough to knock him over, and Lance retaliated by grabbing one of the pillows and hitting Keith over the head. However, before it could devolve into an all-out pillow fight, Lance cleared his throat.
“So, you’ve been dating Shiro a long time, huh?” he asked. Shiro had been completely upfront and honest with him, but it wasn’t like he’d told Lance every detail.
“Yeah,” Keith replied, setting his own pillow down.
“And you guys definitely…” Lance pursed his lips and then made a crude gesture with his hands.
Keith rolled his eyes. “Yes, we fuck.”
“Language!” He took on his scandalized stance once again. “But, uh, yeah…so…”
“Do you want to swap stories or something?” Keith asked, his expression a mixture of apprehension, intrigue, and outright confusion. And Lance wondered – not for the first time – if Keith had any friends he could ‘dish it out’ to. But he quickly corrected him.
“No, no. Just…” Lance chewed on his bottom lip. Shiro was taking his sweet time and now their conversation had come to a screeching halt. Which was kind of depressing, because Lance found that he was really starting to…understand Keith. Not like him. He wasn’t ready for that yet. But understanding was good. “Just, uh, you know-”
“Yeah…?” Keith stared at him, waiting.
Just say something. Anything. “Do you ever get jealous?” Lance blurted out and immediately received a puzzled look in response. “Like, not of me,” he corrected and, honestly, he didn’t want to know that Keith wasn’t jealous of him in the slightest – which was his fear. “Of Shiro, like…with how big he is?”
Ah, yes. Cock size. Good monotony-breaker, Lancey Lance.
“What?” Keith replied, still looking confused.
Well, flexible as Lance was, his foot just wasn’t quite reaching his mouth. “You know, like…how huge Shiro is…” He pointed toward his own crotch. “Down there?” And when Keith didn’t answer, Lance just kept going. “I mean, it’s like…kind of frustrating, right? That his is, ya know…bigger.”
Keith pulled a face. “No, it’s not.”
At that, Lance had to call bullshit. Because even Keith – in all his magnanimousness – wasn’t above comparing himself. “Okay, listen, Mr. Holier Than Thou,” Lance began, jabbing Keith in the chest with his finger. “You can't tell me that you don't get even the slightest bit frustrated that he's bigger than you.”
“But he’s not,” Keith answered simply and Lance just stared.
Wait…
Hold on…
Attempting to reboot.
Nope. Lance.exe has stopped working.
Seeming to mistake his distress for misunderstanding, Keith continued. “Lance, he’s not bigger th-”
But Lance just held a hand up, silencing him. Then he sunk down into the couch, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring up at the other man. “I fucking hate you.”
So much for peaceful negotiations.