Chapter Text
It happens on a muggy day in August.
Chuuya groans, sprawled out on his back in front of the air conditioner, shirt already slid partially up to expose his stomach to the cool air. It's a rare day off for him and Dazai - so long as nothing suddenly comes up, of course - so Chuuya can afford to just stay holed up in their room like this, not bothering with the usual layers of his work clothes.
It's too hot to do anything, as far as Chuuya's concerned, but Dazai's still wearing his normal dress shirt and pants despite not needing to, sitting on the couch reading some huge book or another. Chuuya hates so much as looking at him, feeling even stuffier at just the thought of wearing long clothing. Chuuya's commented as much, but Dazai merely shrugged him off and pointed out that it wasn't Chuuya's body, so it's not his concern.
Stupid.
Eventually, though, Dazai seems to reach his limit - something Chuuya had never thought he'd see - and he gets up, visibly annoyed, walking over to Chuuya and nudging socked toes against his bare stomach. "Chuuya, you're annoying."
"You're the annoying one! Why're you wearing so many layers on our day off, huh? Looking at you pisses me off!"
"You say that as if that's any different from normal." Before Chuuya can respond, though, Dazai nudges harder, "Shove over."
"No."
"Chuuyaaaaaa."
"What? Don't whine at me, I was here first. Find your own air conditioner." As if that's difficult to do in a building as modern as this one; there's one in the bedroom, Chuuya knows. Dazai can just go over there.
... Or, of course, he can be a stubborn asshole as usual, which seems to be the option he's taking, because it only takes another few seconds before he's sitting down, shoving his hands against Chuuya's cool-to-the-touch stomach, trying to push him aside but lacking the strength to do so.
Chuuya growls and smacks his hands away. "Your hands are too warm, don't touch me."
"Ah? But Chuuya's skin is so cold, isn't it fine~?"
"Take off some of your bandages if you're so hot, idiot!"
Dazai hums. "I could, but it's more fun to tease Chuuya?"
Chuuya grumbles and curses under his breath, but pulls his shirt back down-- or, well, he tries to, but Dazai's hand lands on his skin again. "Ah ah ah~ come now, aren't you warm~?"
"Ugh, you're so weird!" Giving up on moving his shirt back down, Chuuya settles for smacking half-heartedly at Dazai's hand again. Despite the warmth, it's... Not as terrible a feeling as expected. But there's no way in hell he'd let Dazai know that, not in a million years.
Dazai's thumb skims over the skin, though, and that's enough to make Chuuya jolt into sitting up, grabbing Dazai's wrist and pushing his hand down to the floor between their bodies. "What are you doing?!"
"Uwaah, Chuuya's so sensitive~ I'm just leeching the chill from your skin, aren't I a nice partner~?"
"Like hell you are! Don't be weird!"
Dazai smirks, amused, "Well, Chuuya's the one holding my hand."
Snatching his hand back as if he'd been burned, Chuuya lays back down, but rolls onto his chest, huffing. "Only because you kept getting all touchy-feely!"
"Ahh, Chuuya's such an innocent baby, have you ever even kissed anyone~? No, wait, I bet you've never even held someone's hand properly~"
"Where the hell did that come from?!"
"So you haven't! Well, that's no surprise, since you're so short and angry, no wonder girls run away from you~"
Chuuya growls, temper rising as always when Dazai is involved, "Fuckin'-- no, you dumbass, I don't want a relationship with anyone, of course I've never held someone's hand! We're in the mafia in case you forgot, relationships would be stupid!"
Dazai smiles, cheerful, false as usual. "Oh, so Chuuya does have a brain sometimes." Chuuya's right fist raises, but Dazai's hands do too, a gesture of surrender. "Alright, alright, no need to get violent, petite mafia~"
Chuuya punches him weakly in the arm anyway, holding back a lot. "Shut the fuck up. You say it like you've got a lot of experience, but I bet you've never held anyone's hand either."
Dazai grabs Chuuya's hand again suddenly, smirk back in place as his thumb brushes the back of Chuuya's knuckles. "You were saying~?"
Chuuya's cheeks flush despite himself. It's not that he's particularly shy, it's just that this is Dazai. His partner. Another male. It's weird to have these strange kinds of feelings for another guy, isn't it? Chuuya's always known his life isn't exactly average, but he didn't think that included this. Besides, he hates Dazai, Dazai's the worst! Who would feel anything positive for him at all?! "That doesn't count!"
"Oh? Why not?"
Chuuya doesn't really have an argument for that. "... Well, fine, but if it counts for you then it counts for me, too!"
Dazai smiles cheerfully again, sing-songing, "Nope~"
"The fuck d'you mean, 'nope'?! You're holding my hand!"
"I am, yes~ but Chuuya's fingers are all straightened out, so you're not really holding my hand in return~"
Chuuya curls his fingers down... Hard, squeezing Dazai's fingers to what must be the point of pain. Dazai doesn't make a sound, but he shuts up and his smile disappears, so it's something. Chuuya smiles widely in return. "There. Happy?"
As satisfying as it is to watch Dazai squirm a little, though, Chuuya lets go of him soon enough. He doesn't want to get in trouble with the boss. Dazai huffs, returning to his usual annoying demeanour basically the second he's free, waving his hand dramatically. "Ahh, Chuuya's such a brute, no wonder nobody wants to kiss him."
"You're still going on about that?! Geez, what's with your sudden fixation on my love life, huh?"
Dazai snickers. "Your non-existent one, you mean?"
If Chuuya were less riled up, he might have noticed the fact that Dazai hadn't actually answered the question, but alas, Dazai's always been good at pushing his buttons enough to get exactly the results he wants. Despite that, Chuuya manages to huff, calming himself back down somewhat, "I have so kissed a girl, for the record, and I know you have too, before you start bragging. It's nothing special."
Not with lives like theirs.
"'Nothing special'? Maybe Chuuya's just bad at it~"
Chuuya bristles again. "Why's it gotta be my fault, huh?! Maybe she was the bad one!"
Dazai hums, playful, fingers coming to stroke along the strip of exposed skin on Chuuya's back, clearly delighting in getting a reaction; despite knowing he's just being teased, Chuuya can't help grumbling and swiping at those wandering fingers. "Harsh, Chuuya! That's not a very gentlemanly thing to say~ besides, honestly, you probably are the bad one. Practice makes perfect, right? And if you only kissed one girl, that hardly seems like much practice. Ah, unless you're saying you practice on something else...?"
"Of course I haven't! Who would?!"
Dazai moves abruptly. Chuuya tenses, but Dazai only lays down to Chuuya's right, but on his back, Chuuya remaining on his chest. They aren't touching anymore, which Chuuya is privately thankful for; the last thing he needs to do is start blushing again or something, lest Dazai start teasing him harder. This is already torture enough. "Idiots, probably. Relax, you're so jumpy~! If I'd known all I had to do to make you clam up was prod you a little, I would have started forever ago!"
"Touch me again and I'll break your hand," Chuuya says, but it lacks any particular heat. Now that Dazai's not touching him anymore, he's back to fully enjoying the cool air from the conditioner running over his skin.
"Well, that's fine. I don't like touching Chuuya anyway."
"You say that like I care! I don't wanna be touched by you either!"
Naturally, that causes Dazai's hand to plant itself on his skin again. Chuuya practically growls, finally giving up and resigning himself to fighting back, but not in a way Dazai is probably expecting - rather than tackle him and start wrestling with him like he usually would, Chuuya instead reaches over with his right hand, yanking Dazai's shirt out of the tuck of his belted pants, lifting the fabric just enough to shove his hand flat against Dazai's stomach. The bandages under the tips of his fingers don't surprise him, but the fact that they don't cover his entire stomach sort of does. Chuuya blinks at the feeling of Dazai's bare skin under the palm of his hand, the rise and fall of his stomach as he breathes, how thin he is under his clothing...
It takes a second before he realizes Dazai froze up, too.
For a moment, Chuuya feels a little guilty - not because he thinks he hurt Dazai or anything, he knows he didn't, but because Dazai wears all those bandages to hide scars, and there's still a few under Chuuya's palm now. He probably hadn't bothered with wrapping himself up completely just because of how hot it is. Even so, Dazai's hand remains on Chuuya's back, and so Chuuya keeps his on Dazai's stomach in return, warm palms pressed to each other's bare skin, as Chuuya tries not to shudder for an entirely different reason than the chill of the air conditioner.
The moment passes quickly, though. Dazai snickers, whatever thoughts he'd been having hidden away from Chuuya once more. "Oh~? How bold of you, Chuuya~ yanking up my shirt so forcefully, you're surprisingly perverted~"
Despite not wanting to blush, Chuuya can't help himself, but more out of indignity than anything. "You say that like you didn't start touching me first! You're the pervert! I'm just retaliating so you know how weird it feels!"
Dazai's tone still has a playful lilt, but it's suddenly much darker. "Oh? So we're playing like that, are we? Well, I still don't want to touch you, but I guess putting you in your place is always fun."
This sort of game is one they've played before - doing things they'd probably get in trouble for, trying to see who would back down first - but never like this. Even so, Chuuya's not one to back down, and when it comes to something like this, even if it's kind of cruel, he's pretty sure he can make Dazai give in first by touching his more heavily scarred skin. Yes, that's mean, but they're almost never nice to each other anyway, and Chuuya doesn't intend on losing. Especially after Dazai said it would be putting him in his place.
As such, Chuuya scoffs. "If you're not eager to touch me, why'd you start, huh?"
Dazai's reply comes breezily, "To get you to move. I thought you'd get up and leave, but maybe you're actually enjoying this...?"
"Like hell I am!" And usually this is where he'd pull away, flustered, not wanting Dazai to see through him, but instead he forces himself to hold still, refusing to lose so easily. "You've touched me a lot more than I've touched you anyway!"
"Well," Dazai says, moving away - for a moment Chuuya thinks, wildly, that Dazai's giving up, but instead he moves closer, sitting over Chuuya's thighs and pressing both hands against his back, "that's scientific curiousity."
"Scientific curiousity?" Chuuya repeats, trying not to focus on how close Dazai is and how his heart is going crazy as he tries not to think about how he might actually be enjoying this, "The hell do you mean by that? Aren't you just making excuses to feel me up so that I'll get uncomfortable and leave?"
"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to take advantage of it if--"
"Take advantage?!"
"Not like that, Chuuya, I have no such interest in men."
"I wasn't asking!" Chuuya snarls back, reflexive, chest tightening with feelings he doesn't want to admit he's more familiar with: guilt, anxiety, fear, self-loathing. He knew it was weird to feel this way... But he can't show any of that, lest Dazai figure it out and be disgusted. Chuuya may hate him, but they're partners, and... He doesn't want Dazai to be disgusted by him. "So keep explaining."
"Don't interrupt me, then. I meant that I want to study your body in the medical sense, Chuuya~ you're so little, but there's so much power behind all of your motions..." His hands slip higher, up under the bunched-up fabric of Chuuya's shirt, thumbs brushing over his shoulder blades before sliding back down in a way that Chuuya would find pleasant if he wasn't too terrified of earning Dazai's disgust to focus on it. "Of course, there's your ability, too... Where does that power come from? Corruption, I mean. You always start bursting at the seams when you use it, because your tiny body can't contain it, but where does it come from...?"
Unable to take any more of Dazai's absentminded stroking, Chuuya rolls over, lifting an arm to push Dazai over instead. He hadn't been intending on turning this into a wrestling match, but it might not be a bad idea... But no, despite his fear, he still has no intention of losing this little game of theirs. As such, he pins Dazai down with a firm hand on his stomach, definitely not focusing on how reversing their positions like that means he's now seated between Dazai's legs... or rather, that they're hitched over Chuuya's hips. "Stop calling me small! I can still kick your ass just fine. Maybe I'll just throw you into the bedroom."
Dazai raises a brow.
Chuuya blinks, confused for a moment, then flushes dark. "Not for anything like that! I meant - I was here first, you go use the air conditioner in the other room! Don't make it weird!"
"Chuuya's the one threatening to throw me into the bedroom~ how forceful~ well, I guess some people are into that, but personally I don't like pain, so..."
The temptation to punch Dazai in the face skyrockets, but Chuuya bites his tongue and just focuses on breathing for a moment. He can't win this little game if he lets Dazai's words get to him... but honestly he's starting to debate if he even wants to win. Is there even such a thing as "winning" in this? If he makes Dazai back off first, Dazai will probably just question whether Chuuya actually was enjoying it, and potentially be disgusted, or at the very least more guarded around him, if he thinks Chuuya's at all interested in him. Maybe. There's always the optimistic view that maybe Dazai wouldn't care, but Chuuya has learned not to be an optimist through his years in the mafia. On the other hand, if he backs down, himself, then Dazai will just gloat about 'putting Chuuya in his place', and if Chuuya tried to suggest that maybe Dazai was the one enjoying it, Dazai would probably just say that he's willing to go quite far to prove he's better than Chuuya in any - every - way, or that he just has experience so it's nothing special to do this much, or repeat his excuse of "scientific curiousity" or something.
So, no, there's probably no "winning" here.
Then again, most "games" with Dazai are like that, so Chuuya's not exactly surprised by the realization. If there were some way to win... It would be to make them both stop at the same time without doing anything more than Dazai has done or will do to him, probably. If it's a simultaneous mutual agreement, and neither "wins" nor "loses", that would probably be best, but how...? Nothing immediately springs to mind. Chuuya's never been the strategist of the two of them.
Dazai takes advantage of his distraction, hands coming to poke at Chuuya's stomach, nudging his shirt up out of the way. "Y'know, you're way too muscular for a sixteen year old. Especially with your face."
"The hell do you mean by that?!"
"Hm? I mean that your face doesn't really match your body, of course!"
Chuuya can probably guess what Dazai means by that, but if he hears Dazai call him 'cute', even just to mock him, he's gonna have to punch him. "Shut the fuck up. If you don't like-- ah--" Despite himself, Chuuya can't help jolting away, but not out of disgust; no, instead, because Dazai's fingers have trailed along his sides nearly feather-lightly, and it tickled.
Dazai looks surprised for a moment, but then his grin goes positively wicked.
Chuuya reaches for Dazai's hands in a mad scramble to remove them from under his shirt before he can make proper use of that newly gleaned information, and even though he catches them it doesn't wipe the smirk from Dazai's face. "Oh, Chuuya's ticklish~?"
"Shut up! No I'm not!" But the way he's holding Dazai's hands and keeping them far from his stomach suggest otherwise, and Chuuya already knows his defense wouldn't be believable. Dazai had seen the reaction for himself, after all.
"You are~! I'm surprised you still have reactions like that!"
Because it should have been trained out of them, Chuuya knows, but he's not exactly worried about being tickle tortured. "Yeah, well, since it's you-- nevermind."
But Dazai's already gone into analysis mode, and it only takes him a second to hum, "so you trust me?"
There's not really any point in denying it, no matter the defensive urge that flares up to do so. "... Obviously, idiot." Then he scrambles slightly to correct, "Not about everything! You're an asshole and I hate you but... you are my partner, so..."
Dazai's expression remains blank for another moment, but then he's back to smiling, overly cheerful and insincere, "Well, I guess that's fine~ I trust Chuuya, too! To keep me alive even when I don't want to be kept alive~"
Chuuya can't help a somewhat amused scoff at that. It would be a heavy topic for most people, but... "Yeah, you're stuck with me."
"Literally, if you don't let go of me~"
Belatedly, Chuuya realizes that he has, in fact, not done that, and immediately drops Dazai's hands. He doesn't apologize, because Dazai would only tease him more if he did, but he does lean back to sit up properly. It takes a second before Dazai moves, drawing his legs back to himself to get them off of Chuuya's hips, and sits up as well. They stare at each other for a moment, but then Dazai gives a dramatic sigh and holds out a hand. "Fine, fine, a draw this time, then."
Chuuya lifts his own hand to shake it, but eyes Dazai warily. "... Alright." He gets the feeling it's not quite a draw, because now Dazai unfortunately has the knowledge that Chuuya is ticklish, but hey, at least neither one of them has done anything they're likely to regret, and Dazai's not disgusted with him, so it's probably good enough for now. "Then, if you're done being an ass, I guess you can share this air conditioner with me."
Dazai snickers, but moves to stand up, after all. "Ahhh, sorry chibi, but I've actually got an errand to run~"
"Were you just harassing me to procrastinate?!"
"Maybe~? Chuuya looked so comfortable, I couldn't help it~"
Chuuya's frustrated exclamations around Dazai's laughs feel like the most normal thing that's happened today.
His heartbeat is back to normal, but... He still feels weird, and not in a familiar way. It's unpleasant, sort of, especially because he's not so stupid that he doesn't have any idea what it could be.
... He's thankful when he hears the door shut behind Dazai.
He doesn't want to think about the warmth in his stomach.