Chapter Text
“And to finish it I’m going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.”
“Vodka? For the spell?”
“No. That’s just to make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.”
The man standing in his entryway stared at Keiji for a long moment looking for all the world like he was about to start arguing the logistics of how the spell would in no way rip a hole in the universe - which Keiji would easily counter with a cool ‘well if you know so much why don’t you do it your damn self’ and shut the door in his face - when he suddenly deflated and looked at the list in his hand.
“Okay but? Where do you even get chicken blood? It’s not like you can just run down to the corner market for it.”
“Where do I get it? From you. It’s your problem not mine. You bring me the ingredients I asked for. I do the spell. You don’t. I go back to watching Netflix in my underwear.”
“Netflix.” The man looked at him like he wasn’t quite sure if Keiji was joking or not. “In your underwear.”
“Yeah. I’m like six seasons in on Supernatural and plan on moving on to the X-Files after I catch up.” Keiji rubbed his nose and nodded down at the list. “We’ve both got a lot of work to do. Better hit that corner market before it closes. No ingredients, no help from me.”
He ushered the man out of his home and locked the door. The echo of the deadbolt snicking shut made him smile and let calmness ease into his bones.
—
“You know,” Keiji drawled as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes a few days later, “I had intended - if you came back that is - on asking just why you wanted me to rip a hole in the universe. But then after thinking a moment and considering the possible political and criminal backlash, well, common sense told me I was better off not knowing the why of it.”
The man thought about it and then shrugged.
“I mean yeah that’s a reasonable way to look at it.” He held out a cloth shopping bag in one hand and a paper bag in the other. “Ingredients,” he explained and shook the cloth bag lightly. “Bribes.” He shook the paper bag. “Plural.”
Keiji took the bags and led the way to the kitchen.
“Is there a time frame for - ooh KitKats,” he paused in the process of digging through the bribe bag to eye the man speculatively.
“I do my research.”
Keiji pulled out a stack of various flavors of KitKats and two large bottles of his favorite expensive vodka.
“Apparently. So is there a time frame for this whole ripping a hole in the universe thing? And are you wanting to be a part of it or just around to watch the chaos unfolding as it happens?”
“Well watching chaos unfold is kinda my thing. But if you need someone to be a part of it my best friend would love to be a willing sacrifice.”
Keiji shrugged. “So long as you clean up any mess it works for me.”
—
Keiji looked at their matching shirts: Best Friends Make The Best Sacrifices . Then he looked at their matching grins and back at the shirts. Then he shrugged and led them to his office in the back of his house.
He explained the basic rules he had for observation and participation of spells, including which door was the bathroom and which was the linen closet and that they had better remember the difference even in a state of blind panic because if he had to replace all his towels and spare bedding they would be getting a bill. No one could ever accuse him of not learning from his mistakes.
“So if you could just sit right here at this corner of the circle-”
“Wait why me?” asked the dark haired man.
“You are the willing sacrifice right?”
The man sucked in a shocked breath. “Makki!”
“What?” asked the man who had been the one to approach Keiji. He really hoped one of them was a willing sacrifice or things were going to be complicated. He’d really rather not deal with dragging Kuroo in for this. Kuroo was enough of a pain in the ass when Keiji didn’t need him. Asking for help just made him about fifty times worse.
“I’m the sacrifice? I thought you were gonna be the sacrifice.”
“I never said I was gonna be it.”
They started bickering. Keiji ignored them to finish setting up the last pieces of his spell. It was too late to back out now.
“Fine okay whatever. I’ll be the willing sacrifice.” The dark haired man stabbed the other in the chest with his finger. “But you’re doing it next time.”
Keiji could be concerned that they were talking about this like they sacrificed each other casually every other week. Maybe they did. But that was none of his business. He had already gotten paid for this spell, technically, so he was going to do it, sacrifice or not, and whatever happened, happened.
“Deal.”
The dark haired man finally settled where he was supposed to. Keiji took one last look to make sure everything was where it needed to be. Once he was satisfied he took two long swallows of his vodka and put the bottle on the floor between his feet just in case.
A few seconds later he could feel the telltale warmth seeping through his body and the tingling numbness in his fingers signaling both the vodka and his magic hard at work. He took a deep breath, met the bright eyes of the cheerful sacrifice, and set about ripping a hole in the universe.
—
Ripping a hole in the universe really wasn’t as hard as one might think. It was tricky if you cared too much about the universe as a whole. If you were too empathetic or too sympathetic it was nearly impossible. You needed to have a carefully crafted and balanced sense of detachment from life as a whole to be able to even attempt it successfully. A lot of power in the caster and a powerful willing sacrifice certainly made things easier as well.
The sky was a nice shade of bruised gray, like there was a very ill storm moving in, and everything outside looked off. Kind of like someone was forced to color the world with a box of discount crayons that just didn’t quite have the right amount of pigment and were a little too waxy to really color properly.
Everything inside was just shy of painfully vivid. Bright colors pressing against sharp edges and nonexistent shadows slicing into surfaces.
The hole itself was a crisp, crackling thing. Lightning and broken glass. Terra cotta planters shattering against cement. Bamboo windchimes echoing hollowly.
Keiji had poked holes in the universe before. Tugged away corners that never quite fit right. Peeked through slits in the world.
He’d never torn into it like this. He’d never had the power to do so.
He stared at the lump that was left of the willing sacrifice. The other man, Makki, laughed gleefully and actually clapped his hands together a few times.
“That is so awesome.” He sidled up to the hole and peered inside. “Can I take it with me?”
“You want to take the hole in the universe with you?” Makki nodded eagerly. The hole made a noise that reminded Keiji too much of nails on a chalkboard. “You know what? Why not.” He grabbed the bottle of vodka between his feet and took another swig. His fingers had been getting a little cold and he had a feeling he would be going through the whole bottle by the end of the day. He shook hands with the man and felt the yank in his bones as ownership of the hole transferred. “Do whatever you want with it.”
He watched in confusion as Makki bent over his friend, or what was left of him, and flicked his forehead.
“Yo Mattsun. You dead?”
“Fuck that hurt more than I remember,” the lump garbled back. Makki huffed out a laugh and pressed his hand to Mattsun’s chest. Keiji could only watch, mouth hanging open in surprise, as Makki’s hand and arm started to glow and sink into Mattsun’s chest and everything in the room started to dim and twist and pulse in strange ways. Mattsun gasped and sat up, Makki’s arm still in his chest. His eyes flew open - dark and not alive but not dead either, they were an abyss, a void, an eddy of nothingness - and he stared straight at Keiji.
Keiji stared back.
His ears popped suddenly and Mattsun grinned at him and hopped to his feet.
“Thanks for all your help!” Mattsun shook Keiji’s hand and he stared at the place where he had seen Makki’s hand disappear. He looked at Makki, still a little stunned, and the man waved at him.
They let themselves out and Keiji took another long, long drink from his bottle.
He had just torn a hole in the universe and watched it, literally, be shoved into someone’s chest.
There was a very good chance he was about to have a very long week.