Chapter Text
After the Hunger, after the losses, after the pain, the fear, the fighting, the pure fun, Lup is so fucking tired. Maybe not physically, but mentally. The moment they win, the moment they all stop crying and cheering and fucking reeling Taako’s first words are “Fuck, I’m tired.” Lucretia suggests that they all stay at the Bureau until they can figure everything else out. Lup had nodded, saying that there was a lot to clean up.
Barry, being blessed with a corporeal form, hugged Taako for Lup. This happened sometime after dinner, when Taako had uncharacteristically broken down into tears in the hall. Lup felt her whole being rocked and sparking, worried, sad, angry, pleading… Barry hugged him for her. Lup curled in on herself. Taako sobbed on Barry’s shoulder for no spoken reason.
Around the time everyone finally went to their bedrooms, probably without rest, Lup realized she would have to wait a stupid amount of time before she could be corporeal again. To sleep again. Lup decided to take on the task of checking every single room of the base, often talking with people who were still awake about stuff. While she needed her own therapy (not going to lie) she felt useful when she acted as theirs.
Merle had taken everything pretty well, knowing that his kids were safe was the only thing that had mattered to him. Lup could respect that. Magnus was… Handling it. Magnus was shaken, and decided not to sleep. Lup could respect that. Leaving Magnus to carve some midnight chairs or something, Lup made her way further into the dorms. The next person she went to, and was not expecting to find, was Lucretia.
Lucretia was sat on her desk, yes on top of it with everything else cleaned off, and was writing lazily into a journal. She jumped something fierce when Lup fazed into the room, nearly dropping her pen.
“Lup?” Lucretia slammed her journal shut.
“Hey, I was just coming to see if you’re doing okay.” Lup tried her very best to have open body language, lean on the wall with her arms crossed or something, but it was difficult when you didn’t have muscles. “I can’t sleep and, unsurprisingly, neither can a lot of people.”
“O-oh… I’m doing fine, I suppose…” Lucretia bit her lip, looking down at her journal. “I was just jotting down some thoughts. I didn’t feel like sleeping.”
“I can respect that.” Lup sure was doing a lot of respecting. “Anything particular on your mind?”
“How can you be so cordial?” Lucretia looked up at Lup, tears brimming in her eyes. “I erased you, I took you from your brother, I caused them all so much pain!”
“Hey!” Lup held up her hands, floating over to Lucretia. “I didn’t know that, I was trapped in a literal mess of my own making. Lucy, I know why you did what you did.”
Lucretia didn’t respond. She just watched her tears land on her journal in her lap.
“It was the best option for everyone, I know you wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t thought it through.” Lup offered warm energy, for lack of anything physical. “I get it. Plus, your plan worked! Maybe not in the way you first thought it would, but it worked.”
Lucretia shrugged, not trusting her voice.
“Hey, listen.” Lup said this a bit louder, prompting Lucretia to look up at her, which she did. “You did your very best. You tried, it worked, and we- I am proud of you. Lucy, you were by yourself for so long, and you managed to hold out. Would it have made it easier to include at least one of us? Maybe. But I can’t fault you for wanting everyone to have the chance to start fresh. I would have wanted that for Taako. I’m proud of you, Lucy.”
Man, if Lucretia was crying before, she was bawling now. Without the ability to hug her, Lup projected more warm energy. This seemed to make Lucretia feel better, her sobs eventually evolving into a giggle.
“… I still regret it.” Lucretia said after her breathing calmed.
“That’s okay.” Lup assured, smiling. “It’s okay to have regrets. But I’m proud of you.”
“Yes, I know, thank you mother.” Lucretia rolled her bloodshot eyes.
“Man, I wish I’d met your mom. I bet she was a badass, just like her daughter.” Lup said playfully. Lucretia chuckled fondly.
“Yes, she was an unshakable force.”
Lucretia and Lup talked for a while, sharing stories. Eventually the topic got to Lup being trapped in the Umbrastaff, and Lup tried to seem unfazed by the topic. Couldn’t risk losing composure without a corporeal body. Lucretia wouldn’t say it, but she saw right through it. Lup wouldn’t say it, but she knew.
Eventually, Lup went on to someone else. Undoubtedly the person who needed a hug the most had found one. Little trooper, Angus McDonald, in the caring and strong arms of Lup’s own knight in shining armor, Barry, sitting together on one of the couches in the common room. Lup listened to their conversation instead of intruding, though she knew Barry could sense her.
“You went to the med bay for that cut, though, right?” Barry asked, checking Angus’ elbow and inspecting the bandage there.
“Yes, sir.” Angus nodded, sniffling. Oh god, Lup couldn’t handle the kid crying, maybe she should go…
“Good, I’m glad you’re okay.” Barry smiled, warm and caring.
“Sir, is Taako going to be alright?” Angus asked, his tone worried. Barry faltered.
“Wh-what do you mean?” Barry tried to sound convincingly not startled, but failed.
“He was crying earlier, and refused to sleep alone.” Angus said.
“He’s just dealing with the shock.” Barry assured. “He’s going to be fine. He just needs time.”
Lup’s heart pulled and yearned and before she knew it she was headed toward Taako’s room. She really wanted to see him, hold him, hug him, cry with him. Stupid non-corporeal form.
Taako’s room was dim, but not that dark. Candles were lit and placed about the room. Taako himself was walking around the room, not nearly close to sleeping. Kravitz was sitting on the bed and just listening. Instantly Lup pulled back, not wanting to intrude. But she wasn’t sneaky enough, and Taako froze.
“Lup?” He called, and she couldn’t help but answer.
“Well, damn, I’m caught.” She came through the door and smiled at her brother. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you two.”
“No, please join us.” Kravitz said from behind Taako, and motioned with wide eyes to Taako.
“So, how’s my little brother been holding up after saving the whole goddamn world?” Lup said with a smile, but Taako’s answer was pretty similar to what had gone down earlier. He wept.
Kravitz held him and Lup felt responsible.
Unable to converse any more, Taako resigned himself to organizing his books while Kravitz and Lup spoke in the hall.
“He’s not doing well at all.” Kravitz said, catching one of his long braids and worrying it between his fingers. “Whenever he tries to talk it out he just loses himself in a trail of thoughts that always leads back to you. Then he starts crying again.”
“Shit,” is all Lup can manage, feeling her heart twist.
“I’ve never seen him like this.” Kravitz looks at Taako’s door.
“Neither have I.” Lup admits. “We’ve had some rough times, even before the IPRE, but this has never been his reaction to something traumatizing.”
“That’s troubling…” Kravitz was silent for a while. “I feel like I know you more than I do.”
“I think a lot of people will feel that way.” Lup shrugged. “Though, I had a question for you.”
“What is it?” Kravitz is nothing if not polite.
“How do you become a reaper?” Lup had this question sometime around when she had met Kravitz and seen the sick shit he was able to do.
“That’s…” Kravitz seemed to have an idea. “An excellent idea.”
“Huh?” Lup tilted her head, confused.
“Sorry, let’s talk about that later on, I think I should try and get Taako to sleep.” Kravitz felt slightly awkward telling Lup to leave, but she understood.
“Go ahead, he needs to sleep.” Lup went to leave but then quickly turned back. “Oh, also, make sure he sleeps and doesn’t meditate or some shit, he needs sleep, got it?”
“Yes ma’am.” Kravitz chuckled, but nodded seriously.
Lup felt useful until now. Taako was hurting and she couldn’t help.
She felt herself drift as a few days passed, not physically but mentally. Barry served as an anchor, seeing as he is the only one who can extend his lich energy to her in a way that she can feel. Everything else kept her grounded using her other senses. The smell of Davenport’s cooking, the sound of Lucretia singing idly, the sight of Magnus slowly carving a statue over a couple months.
Eventually, and not a moment too soon, Barry announced that the body he’d been growing for Lup was done. That day, walking to the breakfast table, Taako dropped his plate and lost his appetite instantly. Barry took Lup and Taako together to the tank, deep in the base.
“Okay, so first, you probably won’t have all your memories perfectly, but I’ll fill you in on everything you told me.” Barry said, using his science voice.
“Got it, hot stuff.” Lup smiled. “Can I get to it then?”
“Go right ahead.” Barry stepped aside, letting Lup take in the sight of the large green tank.
“I’ll have to grow my hair out again…” Lup said absently, fazing into the tank and pulling herself into the body.
Taako wouldn’t admit it, but he held his breath for a solid minute while they waited for her to emerge. When she did, Barry gave her clothes and a blanket. He spent a solid hour explaining everything she might not have remembered, and she was slowly getting back into having a body.
Eventually, Lup stood and stretched. She then proceeded to tackle Taako.
“Get the fuck over here!” Lup yelled, jumping and locking her arms and legs around Taako, knocking him right over. Her hold on him was like a vice, crushing her face into his neck.
All Taako could do was cry, gripping her hair and letting himself be held tight by the only person who mattered to him right now.
They stayed there until Barry insisted they move somewhere more comfortable. Instantly, the air changed, and the twins shot up.
“Nap pile!” They said together, and Lup grabbed Barry by his collar and yanked him along.
Somewhere along the way to the common room the twins grabbed a ridiculous number of blankets and pillows. Taako screamed for Kravitz, who showed up disheveled and worried, and snagged Angus from the library. Lup ticked Magnus and Lucretia into coming to investigate, then swiftly trapped them.
Here’s the current scene: Lup and Taako are squished together in the middle, wrapped around each other like competing vines. Kravitz is next to Taako, having been convinced to take his suit off and try sweats for once. Kravitz is also extremely comfortable and asleep. Barry is next to Lup, his arms wrapped around her middle and his face pressed to her back. Next to Barry is Lucretia, who was also convinced to drop her professional clothing for a comfortable ensemble of a large sweater and leggings. She is also very comfy and very asleep. Next to Kravitz is Magnus, who is using Angus as a teddy bear as he snores like a bear. Angus is fast asleep too, still wearing his dress shirt. He had folded his sweater vest neatly and set his glasses on top of it and set them both on the counter. Next to Magnus and Angus are Carey and Killian. They’re curled up around each other and also sleeping soundly. On the other side, next to Lucretia, sits Davenport. He had been convinced to join, but he had drank coffee that morning. Instead, he decided to read a book about boat maintenance.
Taako and Lup, though, aren’t asleep either. They’ve been simply looking at each other every now and then, making sure they’re still there. Eventually, Lup decides to talk, hushed as she must be.
“How ya doing?” She asks, starting to braid some of Taako’s hair behind him.
“Pretty fuckin great, now.” Taako answers in a sigh. “I really missed you.”
“I bet you did.” Lup smiles. “I missed you more though.”
“Seeing as you’re the only one who remembered the other during all this time, I think you win.” Taako chuckles.
Lup is silent for a while, relishing the feeling of her brother’s breath on her face. The jostle of his body when his diaphragm contracts in laughter. The sound of his lilted giggle. Lup idly wonders what time it is.
“I can’t imagine how awful it was in the Umbrastaff…” Taako says quietly.
“I won’t lie,” Lup sighs, her breath catching in her chest. “It was really horrible.”
And Lup feels Taako’s heart pull in sadness.
“At first, I had no sensory awareness,” Lup mentally scolds herself for the stupid habit of using scientific terms when she’s uncomfortable. Stupid Barold and his habits being passed to her. “Then I did, and then all I could do was watch.”
Taako pulls her closer, and Lup presses her forehead against his.
“I forgot what it was like to really feel stuff…” Lup kept her eyes closed, then jolted and opened them. “I don’t want to close my eyes. Ever.”
“Then don’t.” Taako replies.
Barry shifts behind Lup and the twins freeze. Slowly, Barry’s snoring started up again. The twins let out sighs of relief.
“I don’t want to wake any of them.” Lup says. “We all deserve sleep.”
“That we do.” Taako nods. “Are you going to try?”
“Maybe…” Lup doesn’t think she will though.
“Afraid you’ll have a nightmare?” Taako asks, not in any way joking.
“… Maybe…” Lup admits quietly.
“I’ll tell you a story then.” Taako decides, and gently clears his throat.
What follows is a crazy story that is completely true and not fake, and slowly Lup becomes more comfortable simply listening to his voice and not hearing the words he says. Davenport won’t say so, but he’s also listening to the story and slowly becoming more tired. Eventually Taako puts himself to sleep with his own stupid story even.
Slowly the nap pile dwindles throughout the rest of the day and into the night and next morning. The only ones left are the twins. Curled up in the blankets and pillows, reveling in the warmth of each other, and sleeping perfectly soundly.
When Barry finally comes to check if they’re still alive, at about hour 20, Lup wakes up and glares at Barry so hard that he feels like he’s physically pushed back from them both. Then she seems to realize who he is and makes a sorry face.
Barry doesn’t hold it against her. Taako is her heart, and she just got him back.
At hour 25, the line is drawn. Barry and Kravitz both pull the blankets from the twins and brace for retaliation. It comes in the form of about ten pillows being thrown at them, the two groggy twins muttering in elvish. Kravitz and Barry convince the twins to take a shower, and to Kravitz’s horror the three of them shower together.
Barry insists it’s normal, saying that on the Starblaster they had pretty close living quarters. Kravitz can’t place his feelings on this just yet, but nods anyway.
After that, the twins are forced to eat, and boy do they.
The kitchen is a blur of dark skin and blonde hair, Lup making everything she’s ever learned how to make, Taako making every food that doesn’t involve berries for some reason. Barry and Kravitz sit at the table and simply wait, having been kicked out very early on.
“I’m glad they’re feeling better.” Kravitz says, having nothing else to do but talk while the twins make a feast for about 60 people.
“They’re not.” Barry sighs. “In the shower, Taako basically cried a lot and Lup sat in the corner under the hot water. They’re holding it together for us.”
“Well, then I’m glad they at least trust you.” Kravitz says this without thinking, and somewhere in the kitchen something is dropped. Taako storms out and points at Kravitz with a used soup ladle, his face determined.
“I trust you with my life and death.” Taako hisses, scolding. Kravitz instinctively shrinks a bit. “Don’t think for a second that this is because I don’t trust you.”
As Taako slowly backs into the kitchen, Barry hardly holds his laughter. Lup is screaming laughing in the kitchen at her brother’s sudden outburst though. Kravitz idly thinks that Lup’s laugh is something everyone needs more of.
“Maybe they are feeling better.” Barry chuckles.
The food is less served and more devoured by the twins, with the leftovers spread throughout the kitchen and dining room for Barry and Kravitz to eat on. Barry insists this is normal, though he notes the amount of food the twins ate is probably unhealthy.
After the food is stored, barely fitting in the fridge, Barry and Kravitz follow the twins on their next rampage: clothes.
After concluding that all Taako’s clothes are too outdated (even with Kravitz pointing out the clothes he bought for Taako literally during the months that led to Lup getting her body back) and they decide to use them to make new clothes. This confuses Barry, which worries Kravitz.
Lup supplies that they used to do this on the road. They would collect clothes from the people they traveled with and then would create new clothes and outfits with them. She explains that they were taught how to sew by their aunt, and that they constantly practiced so as never to forget her. Now they just make clothes.
With newly made outfits, the twins watch the sun rise over the Bureau.
And after all this, the twins feel better.
Lup feels safe, Taako feels safe, and while they may not be fully ready to say they’re better, they feel ready to rejoin the world properly.
Lup and Barry start working in the Bureau’s labs with Lucas, Taako sees Kravitz off back to work and then goes to find Angus.
Over the next few weeks, they do well enough. Sometimes Lup needs to be held, and sometimes Taako needs to wear a black veil over his face, and sometimes the twins need to take a full day to just sleep and hold each other, but they do well.
And the sun rises.