Chapter Text
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
EB: dave are you gay?
TG: dude
EB: its fine if you are! i just
EB: kind of need to know.
TG: why
EB: i can't explain until you say if you are or not.
TG: look john ive been well and fucking patient with you
TG: but im about to let honesty gush from my lips and fill up this whole room with an ocean of candour where the truth is represented by oysters and clams and
TG: ok that metaphor was really fucking terrible which i guess shows how much this is actually something i need to say unironically
TG: it doesnt matter
TG: like my SEXUALITY doesnt matter
TG: lets just leave it at that ok youre my bro i dont wanna fall out with you
TG: christ ‘fall out’ what are we twelve
TG: i dont wanna be those elementary school kids that have a squabble over whos it in tig and go to opposite sides of the playground and get a little messenger to scurry between them with messages about why the other one sucks
TG: 'tell john to get a life''tell dave to suck an egg'
TG: idk whos the messenger in this lets say its jade why not
EB: jade would kick both of our asses and drag us face to face and you know it.
TG: yeah
EB: but are you gay?
turntechGodhead [TG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB]
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]
EB: can you ask dave to unblock me?
CG: NO.
EB: jesus christ fine.
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]
ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]
EB: rose are you gay?
TT: Well I'm certainly not straight.
EB: how did you know?
TT: Are you trying to tell me something, John? Am I wrong to think that this might be you beginning to think you jumped the gun when telling Karkat you're quote unquote 'not a homosexual'?
EB: who told you about that?
TT: Karkat.
TT: And Dave.
TT: We shared a meteor for three years, John. By the end there weren't many secrets left.
EB: oh yeah, i keep forgetting about that for some reason.
TT: Was the situation not similar for you and Jade? You spent a similar amount of time at similarly close quarters, I believe.
EB: eh, there wasn't really that many secrets between us to begin with.
EB: plus apparently in this timeline i was dead so she doesn't remember all the things i said now?
TT: Interesting.
TT: But back to your budding sexuality crisis - are you trying to tell me that you think you may be gay? Because if so I can only offer my congratulations.
EB: i never said that!
TT: You implied it. My apologies if this was me reading too far into things.
EB: no, it's just...
EB: i've liked girls before and when i told karkat i wasn't a homosexual i was telling the truth but now...
TT: You're finding yourself attracted to a boy?
EB: uh
EB: yeah.
TT: Dare I ask who?
EB: iii'd rather not say who right now.
TT: Okay.
TT: While I can only speak for myself, I'd say the best person for you to be talking about this with is Dave. When I realised my attraction towards my own gender it was a simple act of shrugging and going along with it, but him realising his was a much harder journey and much more difficult to face.
EB: wait, dave's gay?
TT: Oops. I assumed that he'd told you, seeing as you're 'best bros', but it looks like I was wrong. I'll have to give him a pretty spectacular apology.
TT: But to answer your question, Dave is attracted to his own and other genders.
EB: no, i was pretty sure he liked/s karkat in that way, and the longer we've been on earth c the more i'm sure they're like a thing
EB: but when i asked if he was gay he blocked me
TT: Did you ask why?
EB: no.
TT: Then he probably assumed you were being careless towards his feelings and were trying to label his sexuality and that whatever label he was assigned would make a difference in the way you treat him and value his friendship.
TT: No offence, John, but you've not exactly been the most embracing of him having a boyfriend.
EB: i knew it!
TT: John.
EB: sorry, it's just not all that easy to wrap my head around! and it's especially hard to realise dave likes boys because that means, y'know...
TT: That you may also like them?
EB: um
TT: Perhaps you may feel more comfortable speaking to another m|m about this? I mean, other than Dave?
TT: What about Dirk?
EB: no!!!
TT: ...
EB: ...
TT: ...Huh.
EB: oh no.