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“30-Game!” Stu cried from his side of the tennis net. Nick drew in a sharp breath, grinding his teeth. The sharp points of his fangs scraped against his gum as he squeezed his eyes in frustration. He opened them only to watch his arm raise his racket up. It silhouetted against the moonlight. He held it in front of his face, peering at his friend through the crossing stringing.
“Damn it!” He shouted, throwing down the racket. He listened to the impact of the shaft against the court’s surface. He swallowed thickly, looking at the object before he watched his friend near. He hopped over the net, letting his racket fall onto the court as well. When he was close enough, Nick let a vindictive chuckle pass through his lips.
“For a while, I won most of the games.” He meant it as a joke. A lighthearted comment because he did not want to be depicted as a pouting arsehole who couldn’t lose. He should’ve been proud of Stu.
“Not your day, maybe.” Stu offered. The orange light from the lamppost crossed his face. Nick raised his head and gave a weak smile. He seldom spoke, but those words comforted him.
For a few seconds, he stared at the puckered scars which peeked from the side of his face. He knew he shouldn’t think awful things about his best friend. But it was always hard to look at the unforgettable scars on him.
At least he wasn’t dead. He was here with him, not shredded to bits. For a split second, he remembered the gore. It was a sight which made his stomach queasy. Strips of skin hanging off the flesh of his face. His torso wasn’t as bad but the sight rendered him traumatized. Ropes of intestines dangling out of his suit.
Whenever he thought of Stu like that, he believed he had a beating heart. Because there was that powerful pang of sadness in his chest whenever he thought of that night. He didn’t even realize, to Stu, he appeared glassy eyed.
“Nick.” Stu said, his hand reaching out to wave before his eyes. The motion finally caught his attention as his pupils followed his hand like a pendulum. “What happened there?” He asked, dropping his hand. There was the sound of his arm hitting his side and then faint barking from the neighbourhood nearby. It was almost cliché to think that the silence was overwhelming…but it was.
He was suddenly aware of the faint ringing in his ears as he looked at Stu. He didn’t seem concerned with his friend’s state. But, that was Stu. He was calm and collected.
“Nothin’, just thinking.” He said, reaching up to scratch his neck. “Looks like a full moon tonight, huh?” It was a half-moon, he was lying simply to reanimate the lightness of the mood. He suppressed a smile, to see if Stu would react.
But he shook his head, grinning. Whenever he smiled, the sides of his eyes would crinkle and his scars would pucker. It wasn’t an exceptionally pleasant sight but it was endearing to see his best friend smile.
“Fuck up.” Stu muttered, moving past him. He never told him to shut up without a smile. The sound of their tennis shoes’ impacts on the ground was mesmerizing on their way back to the car. The silence was comfortable, feeling like a blanket on a cold day. So, as Nick usually did when he felt things were alright, was calm.
The car ride was longer than usual. Nick blamed the bizarre late night traffic which forced Stu’s car in a congo line of vehicles, honking at each other. “Do you want to swing by?” Nick asked idly. His hand reached out and turned on the radio. He brought his hand back and began picking at a hangnail which obnoxiously stung.
He peered at Stu from the corner of his eyes. He was curious about Stu’s reaction to his suggestion. “I dunno, I have to work tomorrow.” Stu said blank faced, narrowing his eyes as he was cut off by a minivan.
If it were him driving, he would’ve freaked out. Sometimes, he found himself getting unreasonably violent. He didn’t know if it were part of the transformation of becoming a vampire but it bothered him.
“Right.” Nick forgot that Stu still had to work. Unlike him, he could go into the light. He could lead a somewhat normal life. He could work, all he had to worry about was a full moon but Nick had to scamper away from sunlight. It vexed him. But he knew Stu couldn’t help it.
Besides... wasn’t he the guy who supported him even as an undead creature? “I miss the sun.” He decided to spew out suddenly. He didn’t doubt that the sudden swift change of the topic gave his best friend whiplash. But he needed to say it. Standing underneath a moon wasn’t satisfying enough. It wasn’t bright enough.
Maybe it was easier for his flatmates. But they’ve been vampires for centuries, they’ve grown accustomed. And no matter what he thought, he truly wasn’t used to being a vampire. But he badly wished he could feel sun on his face. He wanted to just bask in sunlight during a warm afternoon on a patio. But he couldn’t. Not unless he wanted his skin to peel off his face.
“You do?” Stu shrugged. Nick pursed his lips, glowering at him from his seat. He didn’t understand the simplest pleasures in life. “What else do you miss?” Nick couldn’t tell if he was trying to make conversation while they sat in traffic or if he really wanted to know. He decided on the latter because he knew Stu wasn’t aphetic; he was the kindest guy he knew.
“My family, my sister.” He used to bother her so much. It was comical, always making her take the piss. Whenever there was a boy who came over, he’d attempt to embarrass the hell out of her. “You really don’t anticipate how much you’ll someone when they die.” He was speaking about himself. Because he was still alive, but to his family, he was dead.
He was about as alive as a rock. He let them grieve, believe that he was missing. Stu knew that he was dead. But that was different. Stu was his best friend, he didn’t think his devoutly Christian family would like to see their son as a vampire. He could be wrong.
That was the catch, they could love him still. Except, he’ll never know. Not unless he wants Deacon to be wringing his neck. It was silent. He figured Stu didn’t feel at ease in the conversation. Being immortal sounded dreadful.
“You know what scares me?” Nick said, finally turning his head to look at Stu. His unreadable visage contorted into a look of sympathy. His eyebrows knit together paired with him biting his bottom lip. He didn’t respond. He didn’t think Stu wanted to know. Before he got bit, his fears would’ve been different.
Stu knew that when Nick was a kid, he was afraid of killers from slasher movies and snakes. It’s different now. They both knew it even when they didn’t mention it. It was like that terrible elephant in the room.
Stu didn’t answer when he asked him. He knew repeating himself would be futile. Because when Stu didn’t answer you, it was final. He decided to tell him anyway. “I’m afraid to see you die.” He confessed, giving an uncomfortable smile. There was no response but perhaps there was change in Stu’s expression.
A glimmer in his eye which could’ve been interpreted as the sudden realization that he would die while Nick lived on. His words brought him back to that night he thought Stu died. He sat on the hill where only moments ago he saw his best friend disembowelled.
He had never felt such an emptiness and hurt. And nothing else even mattered. There was this squeezing in his chest and it felt like the moment light had left Stu’s eyes, it was unbearably painful. It ached and throbbed, he thought he was having a heart attack. But that wasn’t possible for a vampire. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t bring himself to.
It was peculiar. But it didn’t come easy despite the pang of sadness in his chest. “But I’m here aren’t I?” Stu said. Hearing his voice brought him back to the present. They were there, in traffic and nobody was dead. His words didn’t any reassurance to Nick. Because he knew that Stu’s death was inevitable.
“One day, you’re going to be old, or you’ll have cancer…” Nick answered. He didn’t know which was worse: seeing him die from disease or die from decay. “And I’ll have to watch you.” The stability in his voice wavered and Stu looked over.
He was crying. His face was much more flushed than usual. Tears leaked from his eyes, spilling onto his cheeks as they glistened underneath streetlamps. He didn’t say anything but what was there to say?
“May..Maybe you could turn me into a vampire?” Stu suggested, trying to give a hopeful solution to their awful problem. Nick’s stomach fluttered at his optimism. He was always Mr. Sunny. Except the suggestion didn’t sound cheerful, it sounded like Stu trying to catch his breath while swallowing the lump in his throat. “It could work, you never know.”
“I looked into it,” Nick’s gaze dropped to his lap, his skin peeked from the holes in his jeans. Jaundiced grey-ish skin; he had vampire skin. “Werewolves can’t drink vampire blood, it’s fatal, poisonous or some shit.” He was doing his best to remain the stoic. The calm one in the situation.
But he badly wanted to fall into hysterics. This was hitting him just as hard as it was hitting Stu.
“Oh, that sucks.” He mumbled. An understatement. He didn’t know what to say to make Stu feel any better. It was his fault for reminding Stu about the determined end of their friendship. Now he was getting choked up. “Yeah.” Nick said, listening to stifled sniffling from Stu.
He was never this usually emotional, maybe it was a rough night or maybe it was an especially touchy subject. “Stu, I’m sorry.” He said. He meant it, too. What he wouldn’t give to be human again, so he knew he could become a senile old man with his best mate.
“It’s not your fault, Nick, it’s just…” He began, regaining his composure as his fingers gripped the steering wheel. “It’s upsetting to think about, you’re my best mate.” He gave a weak smile, without a trace of true contentment.
“I’ll be there for you for the rest of your life.” He said, running his hand against his forehead. He bet that Stu was exhausted. He forgot that non-vampires were easily worn down from such trivial things such as a game of tennis. But Stu wasn’t a human anymore.
“Means a lot, mate, thanks.” There was that unnerving quiet. The kind which didn’t reassure him. It only reminded him of the tragedy that Stu’s mind was no doubt racing on about.
The flat was beheld in Nick’s sights as the car pulled over. Once he stepped out, he saw the twitch of his fingers, beckoning to come speak to him on the driver’s side. He walked over, hesitant to hear what he had to say.
He looked at his friend. He stared forward at the street before looking at Nick from the corner of his irritated eyes. “I think it would’ve hurt more if Viago, Deacon and Vladislav killed you instead of turned you.” He was trying to comfort Nick, make him feel like his words didn’t bother him.
But Nick could see through him. “It still fucking hurts though.” Nick reminded, laughing humorously. He wasn’t going to sugarcoat it for Stu. He was upset. But he looked at Stu, sitting morosely as he looked at him. There was that familiar pang of sullenness.
But it was awakening, because it was finally clearing up why the possibility of losing Stu hurt so much. There was this thing he had read about before. Something about ‘kindred spirits’, tied together by their sister or their abnormality, he did not know which was more important. He didn’t think he really had a heart but did he love Stu. It was almost too much to bear or even think about. It was a turmoil of ache but it was there, alright. And it was only intensifying when he looked at him.
“Let me tell you something.” Nick leaned his head into the open window. Stu pursed his lips, the crease in his forehead gave Nick a hunch that he was still upset and he’d be upset for the remainder of the night.
“Just know, I’m glad that you didn’t die that night, whatever you are now doesn’t matter to me.” He told him, watching the troubled frown on Stu’s face soften. He knew that he got to him and temporarily he felt like his problems were at bay.
He didn’t know if what he was going to do would stop him from sleeping or living well with himself but pushed his face close to Stu’s. Their noses collided awkward before Nick pressed his bottom lip against his top lip.
His stomach churned with anxiety before he retracted his face from the inside of Stu’s car. “Why the hell did I do that for?” Nick said aloud, making fun of the gesture he just inflicted on his best friend.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I haven’t dated in months, man, and I just… I dunno.” He rambled, looking at his legs. They were helplessly wobbling like jello. He grounded them into the asphalt, forcing them to be still.
When he looked up, Stu’s face was the reddest he had ever seen it; a ruby bore the same colour. “I didn’t mind it.” He said, his voice wavering behind a façade which hid the joy in his tucked away smile. The reply from Stu gave him courage to reach back in the car and rest his hand on his turned face.
“See you tomorrow night.” Nick said, pulling his hand back. He took a step away from the car. He smiled and gave a wave. Stu did not return the wave but mouthed three words which almost killed Nick worse than any wooden stake ever could.
Once the car drove off, he stood in the street. He knew that Stu would go home, sleep and enjoy the next day. But he couldn’t wait until tomorrow night. Until then, Stu would bask in sunlight while he slept in a musty dark room. Maybe that was price Stu had to pay. He could live, enjoy the world for it was his oyster and in return, he had to die while Nick lived on.
Stu had no idea how lucky he was.