Chapter Text
Sirius Black is officially never getting sick again. It’s confirmed, signed, and approved. He can not afford to let illness take him out again especially not after what apparently went down at the party to celebrate Gryffindor‘s recent quidditch victory to Hufflepuff.
“You’ve been to loads of these parties it’s just more of the usual,” James had said.
“Yeah and you look positively green, Black,” Peter said, “er, just Green.”
James turned to stare at him eyebrow raised.
“He doesn’t look green-black. Just green. But his name is bla-“
“Yes, yes, we all understand you do not have to explain further,” Remus said having just entered their dorm.
“Moony! You have to tell them they need to let me go to the party! I can’t possibly miss it, how will anyone have any fun without me!” Sirius lamented to Remus.
Remus for his part just snorted. He didn’t even bother looking at him as he put his bag on his bed and then sat on the spread to take off his shoes.
“I’m sure we’ll manage,” he said when he had successfully removes his trainers.
Sirius gasped clutching a hand to his chest before falling back onto the pillows.
“Even Moony‘s against me! In my time of need,” he whined to James who had been sitting on his bed examining his medical state, to determine if it is party survivable.
Remus rolled his eyes but got up to stand next to James and look down at Sirius.
“Peters right Padfoot, you look terrible,” Remus said brow furrowed in concern.
Sirius jaw dropped. Peter had burst into giggles.
“Oh, Remus, was that necessary. He probably feels horrible! I mean, just look at him,” James said.
Remus nodded at James as if to say ‘you’re right you must be in pain if you look that hideous.’ Sirius cold not believe his ears.
“Guys, I’m right here,” he said.
“Pads, it’s not all bad, I did get you something,” Remus had said before reaching into his pocket and present a full crisp milk chocolate toffee bar.
“Great now I’ll be hideous and fat,” Sirius said.
Remus rolled his eyes, ”Watch it Black, nothing heals like chocolate.”
He set the bar on the bedside table before leaning down over Sirius putting a hand on his fever hot cheek. Sirius for his part just pouted which made Remus laugh.
“Merlin, you really are a piece of work when ill,” he said.
Peter let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like “and all the time.”
Sirius sunk further into his pillows.
“I think that’s an official no-party vote, mate,” James said.
“Maybe the fresh air will give me my strength back,” Sirius argued.
“Yeah, the fresh party air,” Peter said.
Remus laughed, his hand still on Sirius’s face. He looked at him a moment before planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Well I’m apparently not that gross,” Sirius said, pleased.
“Aren’t you afraid of getting sick?” Peter said.
“It’s only a matter of time before I get it,” Remus said.
“Remus, no, if you get it I’ll get it! Merlin, we can’t let this cycle continue like this,” James said.
“I’ll make sure you all get it!” Sirius threatened, “that’s what you get for going to a party while I suffer alone.”
“Oh come off it. You need rest and besides It won’t even be that exciting. Nothing ever happens at these things,” Remus had assured him.
Remus had gotten up and changed and they had left for the party and Sirius had fallen asleep at 10pm like an old woman (or a reasonable person he could hear James saying).
•••••••••
Sirius had awoken the next day to a cup of tea from Remus. He stared at it a moment before accepting it and allowing the other boy to sit on his bedspread.
“You look much better this morning,” Remus says.
Sirius raises an eyebrow putting his cup in his lap, “uh, thanks.”
Remus nodded and Sirius noticed his leg seemed to be bouncing quite a lot.
“Have I told you recently, how much I enjoy your company?” Remus aks.
Sirius snorts, “I don’t think you’ve ever told me that.”
Remus shoots him a glare, “Yeah, well I do.”
Sirius laughs but Remus doesn’t even crack a smile, instead glances off and brings a nail to his mouth to chew on. Sirius puts his cup down and grabs Remus non-occupied hand.
“Moony, are you okay? What’s going on?” Sirius asks.
“It’s nothing really,” he says.
Sirius doesn’t say anything, just keeps his gaze on Remus, waiting.
“Okay it’s not nothing, it just wasn’t a big deal, just- last night I’d had a few shots,” Remus says, finally meeting his eyes.
“Yeah, Moony it was a party of course you did,” Sirius says.
Remus glances around, “And there was a game of truth or dare.”
“Merlin, Moony stop fidgeting you’re making me nervous, what? Were you dared to kiss someone?” Sirius says.
Remus looks utterly wounded.
“You were weren’t you?” Sirius states, “Wow, well cheers.”
“You’re not upset?” Remus asks.
“Why would I be upset? Lupin, it was a bloody game,” Sirius says.
Remus looks like a weight has been lifted.
“You were really worried weren’t you? Aww you got up to make me tea while fighting a hangover. I can really feel just how much you enjoy my company, Moony,” Sirius teases.
“Sod off,” Remus says but he’s smiling into his own cup of tea.
They drink in silence for a moment.
“Who was it anyway? The bird you kissed, I mean,” he paused before tacking on “It wasn’t McKinnon was it?” In hindsight, he said that maybe a dash too enthusiastically, but maybe Remus won’t notice.
“You wish it was Marlene, you perv,” Remus, who definitely noticed, responds.
“What! You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” Sirius states.
Remus purses his lips before shaking his head, “I’m getting off topic.”
Sirius wishes he would stay off topic.
“It was really stupid, I don’t even really remember how it came up, and it wasn’t weird or anything but I felt so guilty afterwards, like your here sick and I’m off snogging or whatever,” Remus said all rather quickly.
“Well when you put it like that, Moony, maybe you owe me more than tea,” Sirius says wiggling his brow, “This might even qualify hot chocolate, I mean I am sick, and after all, we both know nothing heals like chocolate.”
Remus grins, “Shove off Pads, Do you even want to hear about it or no?”
“Yes, sir,” Sirius says saluting him.
Remus rolls his eyes, before continue in a tone a dash more somber, “I just wanted you to hear it from me, before anyone else.”
“Moony, I find it hard to believe anyone cares about who you snogged in a game,” Sirius says.
“It was hardly a proper snog,” Remus counters, oddly defensive.
Sirius adjusts his pillows, sitting up, “What? Don’t tell me you kissed…” he drifts off before leaning in and whispering, “Minerva McGonagall.”
Remus groans, “Ugh, Sirius don’t say her full name like that, especially not in a whisper, Salazar.”
Sirius falls into his pillows laughing, he supposes it can’t be that bad, Remus has excellent judgement.
“No, but genuinely, who was it?” He asks.
Remus shrugs, hand on the back of his neck, “It was James.”
Sirius laughs, “Good one Moony, but actually who was it.”
Remus purses his lips, “No, I just said it, it was James.”
Sirius stares at him eyes squinted, “No, I heard that, but I mean the person you kissed.”
Remus stares back at him, “Sirius, It was James. I kissed James at the party, it wasn’t a bird, it wasn’t Marlene, and it doesn’t mean anything.”
The moment stretches on before anyone says anything. Sirius doesn’t move a muscle. Remus looks increasingly uncomfortable but he doesn’t dare add anything, he’s waiting, for whatever happens next. That’s when Sirius throws the blankets over, swings his legs and stands up, making the short walk to James’s bed before jumping onto the spread and saying “Potter, Get up” as James blinks himself into awareness.
“Sirius? What time is it?” James says, turning to get his glasses but Sirius grabs his arm.
“Mate, What is this about?” James says, rubbing his hand through his absolutely wild bedhead.
“James,” Sirius says.
“Yes, yes, Sirius I’m right bloody here, now what is it?” James says, squinting up at Sirius.
“Well, Moony told me some crazy thing about you guys kissing, last night, hilarious right?” Sirius says.
“Uh, not really?” James says.
Sirius breathes a sigh of relief, “You know I didn’t really think so either? It’s a weird joke to tell someone first thing in the morning, but I guess not all pranks can be winners.”
“What?” James says before shaking his head, “Sirius, I don’t even know what you’re talking about that’s not a joke.”
“That’s what I’m saying it’s not a very good joke.”
James sits up and glances over at Remus still perched on Sirius’s bed watching the whole interaction in abject horror.
“Sirius?” James says.
“Mmmm,” Sirius replies.
“Me and Moony,” he starts motioning with his hands between himself and Remus, “Were at a party last night, right?”
Sirius nods.
James continues cautiously “And at that party, we were in a game of truth and dare-”
Sirius stands up suddenly, pushing himself away from the bed and James breaks off. Looking from James to Remus and shaking his head. Before sinking into a squat and laughing, borderline hysterically. James shoots a concerned look to Remus who shrugs in response. James sighs and grabs his glasses before moving to stand above Sirius.
“Uh, mate?” James says, “You alright? It was just part of the game.”
James looks back at Remus who is oh so helpfully blank. He sinks down to sit next to Sirius.
“I’m just trying to work out how my boyfriend managed to kiss you before I did. If I knew you were into blokes, why was I not the go to! We live together year round! He’s just the work wife!” Sirius says to him.
“And there he is,” James says clapping Sirius twice on the shoulder.
“Boyfriend?” Remus says, “I wasn’t aware I was under such a label.”
James looks uncomfortably between the two trying to decide between his wish to encourage healthy communication and his discomfort of that communication occurring while he is in the room.
“It was more of an unspoken thing,” Sirius says looking up to where Remus is sitting still on his bed, “I just thought you’re more of a secretive person.”
“I don’t think this is quite comparable to being a werewolf,” Remus says.
Sirius gets up and then offers a hand to James before dragging him to his bed and sitting him next to Remus who straightens up. Sirius stands back staring at them, hand on chin, lips pursed.
“How long was it would you say?” He asks after a moment.
Remus looks utterly affronted while James mouth falls open.
“Excuse me?” James squeaks.
“I assume there was tongue, based on my past experiences with Moony,” Sirius says pacing the length of bed in front of the two, his arms crossed.
”Is this really necessary?” Remus’s says the same times James says, “There was a little tongue.”
Remus wacks him in the shoulder. Sirius strokes his chin, nodding.
“Was there any groping going on? Like where were the hands at so to speak?” He asks.
“Sirius, I’m not going to sit here and answer all these ridiculous questions,” Remus says reaching for his mug off of Sirius’s bedside table
Sirius turns to face them, “You reckon you can act it out again then? Just really quick for me.”
James make a loud noise in the back of his throat and starts coughing. Remus on the other hand drops his coffee cup letting it clatter on the floor, before hitting James back several times before the other boy sits up again red faced but breathing.
“Merlin, Black, you’re lucky that was a plastic cup. Are you trying to kill James?” Remus says.
“You could have given him mouth to mouth,” Sirius offers.
Remus shoots him a glare. A loud yawn echoes from the other end of the room as Peter sits up. All three heads turn to face him.
“What’s all the ruckus? What time is it?” Peter says.
“It’s 7:34 and apparently last night Potter and Lupin got real well acquainted with each others mouths, and they won’t re-enact it for me,” Sirius says pacing again, “apparently.”
“Why not?” Peter says looking at Sirius blankly.
“I have no idea!” Sirius says then turns to face Remus and James, “Am I not your closest most dearest friend?”
Remus shifts in his seat, brow furrowed.
“It’s not even a big deal, Just do it again, it’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened,” Peter says casually.
Remus physically cringes as Peter rubs his eyes sleepily.
Sirius stops his pacing to swivel around “Did I just hear what I think I did?” He says pointing a finger at Remus who remains passive.
“I’m not a mind reader Sirius, I don’t know what you heard,” Remus says, all deflection.
Sirius zeroes in on James who has turned at least 8 shades paler.
“Potter, you better tell me right now, what Wormtail means by it’s not the first time,” Sirius says.
James mouth opens but nothing comes out.
“Sirius, leave him alone. It’s nothing,” Remus says standing up to him and grabbing his face, forcing him to look at him instead of James.
“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” Sirius presses.
“Well It was a peck one other time, it barely counts,” Remus says.
“Are you two for real right now?” Sirius says looking over Remus’s shoulder at James.
“It’s not like a regular thing, just once and then again last night,” Remus says.
“It’s not just once if it happened again, Merlin, how long ago was this,” Sirius asks.
Remus looks at the ground, “It was back in fourth year, I can barely remember it.”
James makes a small offended coughing sound. While Sirius’s jaw drops.
“You mean to tell me that you two have been holding onto this for 2 years? And neither of you thought to tell me?” Sirius says, utterly baffled.
“It never occurred to me as something to share with you,” Remus responds.
“Moony, I thought I was your first kiss!” Sirius whines, “and now I find out you and James- James, who again, I live with year round, James, who I thought I had no secrets from. James, who is practically my brother- have kissed! Kissed and then sat on that kiss for two bloody years and then kissed again.”
“You’re being dramatic,” Remus says.
“I’m being dramatic? My entire world is falling apart!” Sirius says throwing his arms around.
Remus rolls his eyes and sits back on the bed besides James.
“What are you just waiting for me to turn my back so apparently you can snog behind it? And then not tell me,” Sirius says.
Remus eyes betray more hurt than he will allow to show as he clenches his jaw and bites his tongue.
“Sirius, don’t be upset with Moony, this is my fault,” James says.
“If anyone’s fault it’s probably your own,” Remus says looking accusingly at Sirius.
“How on earth is this my fault?” Sirius says.
Remus purses his lips but says nothing.
“When was it exactly? In fourth year?” Sirius asks in a voice much quieter than his previous tone.
“Right after the Great Squid Incident,” James tells him.
“Before or after when Wormtail fainted?” Sirius asks.
Peter makes a noise like he might argue but Remus sends him a chilling look. Sirius had nearly forgotten he was there since his revealing of classified information.
“After. It was that night during the party, right before we had to start serving detention,” James answers.
“Yes, three months of cleaning cauldrons, cruel and unusual but worth the glory,” Sirius says.
“Well then you must remember what you had done that night,” Remus says voice sharp.
It’s not a tone Sirius appreciates, but he’s not about to let Remus know he doesn’t have a single goddamn clue what happened on the night in question. He turns right as Peter makes an attempt for the door.
“And where do you think you’re going?” Sirius says.
“S-Study group?” Peter stammers.
“Oh really? Because apparently everyone I know is meeting up when I’m not around and just going at it! Are you sure you’re not meeting up with I dunno, Kingsley and snogging him? Huh? Are you?”
“No,” Peter lets out, equal parts terrified and confused.
“You knew about this all these years and didn’t even attempt to tell me” Sirius asks.
Peter titters inching towards the door because of course he bloody would still try to flee, the coward.
“Sirius, that’s not fair. You’re being a child,” Remus says far beyond annoyed at this point, arms firmly crossed.
“I’m being a child! I’m not the one kissing people left and right!” Sirius turns to face him.
Remus raises an eyebrow and okay well in hindsight Sirius can see the irony in that.
“I have never asked you about any of it, Sirius, not when I hear the whispers, not when I see you sneak off at a party with some girl, not when you sneak into my bed at 3am smelling like smoke and perfume,” Remus’s voice is shaking with everything held back, everything Sirius hadn’t realized he was holding back.
Somewhere behind him Peter makes a break for it. Sirius doesn’t even bother to turn, not taking his eyes off of Remus, until he hears the smallest of their roommates hit the floor. He turns to Peter on the ground next to one of Remus’s shoes, and then back to Remus and then finally to James who has Remus’s other shoe in his hand.
“Sorry, Wormtail,” James lets out, “I just, I can’t go through the day with this hanging over us.”
“Us!” Peter blathers sitting up, “I didn’t kiss anyone! All I’ve done is get yelled at in my own room and then hit with a shoe!”
“This isn’t just about me and Remus’s kiss,” James states.
“It’s not?” Peter squeaks out.
“Of course not!” James says matter of factly, “it’s about us, keeping secrets from each other! Guys, it’s not healthy.”
James is met with three pairs of confused eyes.
“Hear me out, I have a solution,” he presses, “We don’t even have to go through this again.”
No one says anything for a long moment.
“I’m up for anything that takes me closer to a life where I don’t have to worry about flying shoes before 8 in the morning,” Peter says finally.
“Brilliant!” James gets out, before turning to Remus.
Remus raises an eyebrow but nods once.
“Sirius?” James asks expectant.
Sirius sighs, and looks at the ground, still shaky from Remus’s confession, “I’m all for the truth.”
Remus clicks his tongue but doesn’t say anything, James eyes him cautiously.
“Okay, gents, hear me out. Sirius, you’re upset because you didn’t know about me and Remus. Remus, your upset because Sirius can’t stay away from anyone with shiny hair who smiles in his general direction,” James says, “but it doesn’t need to be an issue any longer because today we will, by ourselves make a list and then tonight we meet here and we read them.”
James finishes looking rather smug as everyone else looks at him blankly.
“A list? A list of what, Prongs?” Peter asks.
“Oh I thought I left a bit out. It’s a list of everyone we’ve ever kissed,” James says as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Absolutely not,” Remus says the same time Sirius says “Are you kidding?” And Peter lets out a soft, “short list.”
“Potter, How does this help anything,” Remus starts.
“Moony, this is the only solution. No more misunderstandings, no more drama. All honesty, everyone will know everything,” James argues.
Remus looks contemplative, “but what will Sirius do when he realizes he can’t quite recall names? Will he just have to rely on numbers or vivid one adjective descriptions?”
Sirius doesn’t bother to reply to that just turns to James and says, “I’ll do it if he does it. After all none of us have anything else to hide? Right, Moony?”
Sirius smiles at Remus who flips him the bird in response. If James notices the interaction he doesn’t let it show at all, much less slow him down.
“Wonderful,” James says turning to Remus, “Moony.”
“I’m certainly not going to be the one holding us back, Potter,” he says sharply.
“Well, cheers!” James says, ”Let’s say 5? Before dinner.”
Sirius moves past James to grab his bag and then turns to the direction of the door. Remus sighs.
“We don’t have Charms until 9, Sirius and you’re still sick, sit down.” Remus says as he walks by him.
“Well maybe I need a head start on my list, I might just run out of adjectives,” Sirius counters.
With that he pushes past Peter on the floor and out the door to find somewhere to start his list as soon as possible, because as much as it kills him to admit Remus was right, he may have some trouble recalling names.