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Kira leaned back on Athrun’s couch, one hand holding his glass of soda. He and Lacus had come over fifteen minutes ago, Kira to stay with him for the afternoon, Lacus to meet up with Cagalli, who had visited an hour ago to check on him. His gaze followed Lacus as she left with Cagalli to go shopping. Athrun, on the other side of the couch, caught a darkness in that gaze. It had not been the first time he’d seen it these past weeks. He was about to open his mouth to ask about it when Kira finally spoke. “I’m happy for them.”
The words forced Athrun’s attention away from his friend’s face and toward the door. The girls, however, had already left. “What do you mean?”
Kira gave him a funny look. “Haven’t you noticed?”
“Birdy?” The old bird Athrun had made for Kira flew over their heads and landed on the top of the couch by Kira’s hand. Kira automatically reached up to pet under its beak, even though Athrun hadn’t put any sensors or reaction commands that would make it react as if pleased by the touch. It did, anyway. It cocked its head at Athrun. If it were human, he thought it might be smirking.
He cleared his throat and looked away from it. “Noticed what?”
Kira’s frown only deepened. “Athrun,” he said, his voice as careful as when he’d tried to reason with Shinn on the battlefield, “Cagalli and Lacus have fallen in love with each other.”
It was obvious, once he stopped to look for it. The way they would gaze across the room at one another. The soft smiles when their eyes met. The way they leaned toward one another, enraptured, when the other spoke. They were in love. With each other.
Athrun thought of the ring he’d given Cagalli. Then he thought of how poorly they’d gotten along after meeting Durandel. How he’d had to hide who he was when he was with her. He thought of the moment he’d noticed she’d taken off the ring and wondered if Kira had known – if she had known, even then.
He was surprised that it hurt. He was surprised that it didn’t hurt more. Like a deep, steady burn instead of a sharp stab.
He still saw Cagalli, both on the news and off. She came by his apartment every once in a while, when she had the time. And sometimes he went and visited her; the time constraints were still bad, but they got together every now and then for lunch or dinner. Lacus and Kira still lived at the orphanage on the island, and when Athrun saw Kira, almost inevitably, he saw Lacus, too. More and more often, if Cagalli had free time, he saw her there. It always left him… introspective.
Kira had been given more time to come to terms with it. Perhaps that was why Kira seemed okay a few weeks after he’d pointed out the change in relationship, when Cagalli and Lacus, sitting across from each other at one of the orphanage's small, round tables, suddenly reached out and held each others’ hands. Cagalli seemed caught on Lacus’ every word, her eyes wide, a small flush coloring her cheeks. Lacus leaned in across the table, her smile wide as she spoke on about the orphanage’s children. Kira, watching, wore an easy smile. That didn’t stop Athrun from pulling Kira away from the house, down to the waterline, and asking if he was okay.
Kira, as always, was plainly honest about his feelings. “I wasn’t. Not at first.” The words took Athrun by surprise; He hadn’t caught any sign of pain or distress in his friend back then. He’d failed Kira. That was the thought that hit him as he watched Kira’s bright purple gaze sweep over the sea’s horizon. “But I think I was mostly just hurt. I wondered why Lacus didn’t tell me, back before I realized she hadn't yet figured it out herself. I’d wondered what I’d been lacking, that she’d seen something in Cagalli that burned brighter than something in me.”
“That’s not how it works,” Athrun argued. “There’s nothing lacking in you.”
Kira gave him a warm smile. “Thanks, Athrun.” The sea wind threw that wild brown hair into Kira’s face. He pushed it back with a hand. “I guess I kind of realized that, myself, after a while. I mean,” he said, and smiled, “Cagalli’s my sister. I should be happy for her.”
His explanation was so confused, it was obvious he wasn’t really all right at all. Athrun turned out toward the sea, as well, horribly relieved to not be the only one. “At least you don’t have two of your fiancees choosing each other over you.”
It shocked a laugh out of him. “Oh, no, Athrun! I didn’t even think of that.” Kira sent him a sheepish grin. Athrun couldn’t help but smile back. It snapped some of the tension in the air. Kira sighed. “They do look very happy together.”
Athrun snorted. That was true. Even the scene they’d just left had seemed so wholesome as to make him sick. Being jealous or upset over that just seemed wrong. No wonder they were trying so hard. “They look almost oblivious to what it means.” He put his hands in his pockets and canted his head to the side. “Well, that’s not unusual for Cagalli.”
Kira chuckled. “I think…” He shifted a bit where he stood. “Lacus probably knows. The way she talks – the things she says. It took her a little bit, but she figured it out. Almost scared her, I think. She’s probably waiting to see if Cagalli figures it out on her own.”
Athrun groaned. “Oh, no.”
Kira laughed. The sound bounced off the waves.
They stood there together for quite some time, letting the silence and the surf smooth the turmoil inside of them. The thing was, Athrun thought, he truly had loved Cagalli. The feeling was still a bright star in the recesses of his heart. He couldn’t bury that or pretend it never existed. Not even for Lacus, who would be good for Cagalli and deserved happiness herself. And he couldn’t help but feel angry at her over how Kira must be feeling, being left adrift for another like so much flotsam.
Two people falling in love with each other was always a good thing. But that didn’t mean it was always only a good thing.
After a while, they turned back. Conversation, when it returned, brought with it updates on the kids and news on Athrun’s neighborhood. They stayed away from the topic of the women. Birdy landed on Kira’s shoulder and chirped.
Less than two months after Kira alerted Athrun to the change in the women’s relationship, and they were holding hands as they walked down Orb’s streets, when they spoke to each other, even when they watched the news side by side on the couch. Cagalli would come to see Athrun or Kira and would either spend half the time talking about Lacus or, if the woman in question was around, head out to sit with her, instead. One afternoon, Athrun went to see Lacus and found Kira walking from the orphanage. He flagged Athrun’s car down before he quite made the turnoff into the drive. Athrun pulled off to the side of the road and turned off the car. Kira walked up to the driver’s side door and leaned in with a smile. “Don’t head in there,” he said, pointing back behind him. “Not unless you want to feel like a third wheel.”
Athrun sighed. The car rumbled around him. “Cagalli’s visiting, then?”
Kira laughed and moved around the front of the car, one hand trailing along the hood. He hopped into the passenger seat. Birdy quickly flew in to join him. “Yeah,” he confirmed. “She’s been here for about an hour. They kept looking right through me, so I made some excuse and got out.” He tuned on the radio, only to turn it down when he heard the news. He leaned back against the seat cushion. “So wherever you want to go, I’m good.”
Athrun thought for a moment and revved up the engine. “Hungry?”
Kira sighed. “Starving.”
The news leaked, of course. News always did.
Newscasters didn’t have access to the orphanage itself, proof that children were protected from the peering gazes of the public at least some of the time. Without being able to enter the building, they did the next best thing; they waited outside somewhere, likely with binoculars, and checked who came and went – though perhaps not as thoroughly as they should. Because, like the expert sleuths they were, they accused Cagalli of having an affair with Kira. Specifically, that Kira was cheating on Lacus with Cagalli.
The scandal got broadcast over every major news station within twenty-four hours, each hopping on-board the gossip train, eager to be the first to tell the sordid story. At first, the media was chaotic in its righteous fury – Cagalli was accused of being a homewrecker, a vixen out to steal Kira from Lacus, a far cry from the loving, righteous leader she had been believed to be. After the first day or two, however, with fans sticking up for her and the media finding its ratings plummeting in Orb with those accusations, they switched to an alternative truth that became the most popular explanation by nightfall on the second day: it was that coordinator Kira Yamato’s fault.
Kira became a manipulative gigolo in the hearts and minds of every single person in the solar system by the end of the week. He couldn’t go outside the orphanage, let alone off the island, without people harassing him, throwing things at him, yelling in the streets. Kira took to it with silence, sequestering himself inside the orphanage as news reporters banged on the doors. Athrun nearly lost his mind the first few minutes after he parked his car in the drive. He’d gone to check on Kira and found the entire front lawn of the orphanage taken over by those same newscasters, each spouting worse accusations than the last. Only Lacus stepping outside and dragging him into the building stopped him from shouting threats at them all.
“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head slightly. He opened his mouth to protest, already at the boiling point from the moment the first reporter called Kira a cold-hearted philanderer. She just squeezed his arm. “Cagalli and I are going to have a press release tomorrow. We’ll explain everything.”
“Why wait until tomorrow?” He could barely see Kira; the windows were latched shut, and he was sitting silently at the kitchen table, his head down, his gaze staring blankly at a book in front of him. Two of the orphanage’s children stood beside him, quietly trying to cheer him up. Kira turned a weak smile to them. It made Athrun’s blood boil.
“Cagalli had a meeting she couldn’t avoid these past couple of days,” she answered, her voice low. “She’s called the meeting for as soon as she returns.”
Lacus looked to the side, toward the ground, her lips thin. He sucked in a breath.
“But Cagalli isn’t ready for that.” Lacus’ shoulders stiffened. “Lacus, she doesn’t even recognize – or, at least, I certainly haven’t seen–”
Lacus shook her head. “No. It’s all right. We’ll take care of it, Athrun. I promise.”
“The two of you aren’t in this alone.” He raised his hand, clutching her arm the way she clutched his. “Kira and I are with you. We support you both. One hundred percent.”
“I know.” She rubbed her cheek as if to wipe away tears and grinned. “Go ahead and sit with Kira. He could use a friend about now.”
He sat with Kira, staying until deep within the night as the reporters shouted through the doors. The kids of the orphanage came up to Kira, hugging him as the hours passed. Lacus sat with him, as well, until he was scrunched between Athrun and her, two shields against the hate being thrown at him. Athrun had needed to leave the next day, on Lacus’ orders – Cagalli needed someone to ensure she arrived at the press conference safely.
It occurred to him on his drive out that Lacus was now the one who knew Cagalli’s schedule best. She was now the one who knew where Cagalli was at all times of the day and night. He had been left behind.
He supposed it suited. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t still hurt about the change, but it was as Kira had said. He loved Lacus. He loved Cagalli. If anyone deserved a happy life, it was the two of them. He could be happy for them. He was happy for them. Who couldn’t be, seeing how they were together?
But what was happening to Kira was unacceptable. If it weren’t for Cagalli, he would never have agreed to leave Kira’s side. He still felt awful about it, even though it was for the best at the moment. He wanted the chance to talk to Cagalli.
From the look Kira had given him as he’d gone, the man had thought of the same thing. If all of this was coming to blows, then Cagalli at least had to understand what she was standing for when she went before the press and proclaimed Kira innocent.
There was more to be lost than Kira’s reputation.
The press conference was to be held in the main conference hall, since it was the largest. Athrun, with Cagalli safely in tow, was ushered in through the back. Cagalli hadn’t said much on the way over, and Athrun’s plans had dwindled to trying his best to keep her from fidgeting and panicking even more than she already was. She still twisted her hands together, keeping a bit closer to his side than necessary as they walked in. Still, when she heard the shuffling and shouting of the press behind the conference doors, she stopped and stiffened her spine. With a lift of her chin, she stepped forward. “Cagalli,” he said, reaching out. She turned to him with eyes still a bit too wide. “Wait for Lacus.”
Cagalli took a deep breath and shook her head. “I don’t want her involved in this. This is my fault. I should have known better than to think we could do this without any consequences.”
His brows furrowed. From the way she spoke, it seemed she already knew. Still, he wanted to make sure. For her sake. For Lacus’. “Cagalli. What you and Lacus have – it’s worth more than pleasing the crowd.”
Her breath hitched. With a wince, she crumpled before him. “I know that,” she said. She covered her face with her hands. Several deep breaths later, and her fingers still shook. “I know that,” she said, “but it shouldn’t be.”
His brow furrowed. “Of course it should. You and Lacus–”
“No, you don’t understand.” She curled her fingers into fists and stared at him over them. “Lacus and I–”
“I’m here!” Lacus fairly ran into the room, her hair a small mess behind her head as she entered. Cagalli broke off what she was saying to run over to Lacus. “I’m fine,” the young woman said before Cagalli could do more than open her mouth. “There were still several reporters outside the orphanage, and more outside.” She tried to run her fingers through her hair to straighten it, but they got caught. Cagalli whirled around to one of the guards at the side of the room and made a brushing motion. The guard hurried off with a nod. “They’re quite perturbed. We have to settle this as quickly as possible.”
Cagalli stiffened. Athrun nearly facepalmed. So they both thought the other wasn’t aware of the change in their relationship. Wonderful. “Right.” Cagalli cleared her throat. When she looked at Athrun, her gaze looked almost haunted. “We’ll make it right, Athrun. I promise.”
He stepped forward before she could advance to the stage. The guard returned and handed Lacus a brush. Quickly, the woman worked it through her long hair. “Cagalli. Kira would never accept being the reason this was ruined for you.”
“It’s not his call.” Her chin lifted again. “It’s mine.”
“But you’re making a mistake!” he hissed.
“Athrun.” Lacus came up to stand beside the two of them. Her hands worked feverishly over her hair, nearly yanking at the ends in her haste to complete her task in time. Without a word, Cagalli plucked the brush from her hands and worked through the ends, much gentler than Lacus had been. Lacus, hands now free, grabbed Athrun’s hand between her own. “You needn’t worry about us. We have this taken care of. You can return to Kira now.”
He wanted to. It surprised him how deeply he wanted to return to Kira’s side. At the orphanage, Kira would be surrounded by the kids and the reverend, and by now, even his mother would have returned from her vacation. He didn’t need Athrun there to know that he and his friends supported him, that they didn’t for one second believe the rumors being spread about him.
He wasn’t needed, but still he felt he should be there.
But Kira would never forgive him if he let these two ruin their happiness for him. And he wouldn’t forgive himself, either. “I’ll stay.”
Lacus looked disappointed in him. Cagalli sighed.
It took only another couple of minutes for Cagalli to finish brushing Lacus’ thick hair, but by the time she did, the crowd outside was reaching a crescendo. Lacus thanked Cagalli, her hands lingering on the blonde’s for a moment as she took the brush from Cagalli’s hands. Cagalli stared at the link between them. Athrun wanted to shake the both of them. “Let’s get going,” Lacus said, her voice quiet. Soothing. Cagalli closed her eyes and nodded. She cast one short glance toward Athrun before heading off toward the stage.
They walked close together, even as they prepared to… to what? Were they truly going to simply appease the crowd? Deny everything? Grow distant from each other? Cagalli’s words had seemed so ominous. And the woman was atrocious at staying true to her relationships under pressure.
If he had to, he would run out onto the stage himself and damn his attempts to remain undercover. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialed Kira, his gaze on the live recordings flickering on as the women stepped onto the stage. Kira didn’t pick up. The idiot must have been glued to the screens himself.
Cagalli stood behind the podium, though Lacus remained close to her side. Though she’d looked nervous behind the door, she faced the sea of faces before her with an easy grace. “Welcome. Thank you all for coming today. By now, all of you have most likely heard the rumor that I am in a relationship with a man who is believed to be seeing Miss Clyne.” Cagalli gestured to Lacus, who dipped her head down in a short bow. The two exchanged a smile. Some tension bled off of Cagalli, just like that. Athrun hissed at the sight. “Due to my meeting with representatives from the colonies, I haven’t been able to properly address these rumors. I would like the opportunity to do so now.”
“Did you know Mr. Yamato was in a relationship already when you first went out?” one reporter called out. It started a chain reaction; some reporters even asked obscene questions. Cagalli looked shocked, then vaguely repulsed. The same reporter, lifting their voice to be heard above the others, asked, “did you grant citizenship to Mr. Yamato because of your personal relationship with him?”
Cagalli leaned away from the podium. Lacus placed a single hand on the young woman’s shoulder. Cagalli took a deep breath. “I’ll admit that our personal relationship did place a part in that, yes,” she said. The clamor rose, forcing her to nearly shout her next words. “After all, I do believe citizenship should be granted to… to the man who saved my life. Multiple times.”
Athrun knew how much it had cost her to keep the secret of her and Kira’s origins. He knew how it burned her to hide how much she cared for him. He wasn’t surprised when her own answer made her scowl.
Cagalli leaned forward, gripping the sides of the podium. “But you’re all so very wrong about the reason I go to see him. He is my friend, and someone I care about deeply. There’s someone else that he’s friends with – someone he’s known since he was a child – and it’s that person whom he loves.”
Athrun froze.
The room quieted down at her words, at her confidence and conviction. Cagalli gestured Lacus forward. “Miss Clyne – Lacus – and I wanted to get the two of them to admit their feelings for one another. They’re… wonderful, and kind. Both of them.” She smiled softly. “But they’re both really oblivious. So we decided to pretend we were in a relationship with each other.” She cleared her throat before lifting her voice to reach the corners of the room. “That’s why you’ve seen an increase in my activities around the Marshall Islands. But…” She looked back at Lacus. Lacus was smiling, her gaze locked onto Cagalli. Gently encouraging her. Cagalli’s face crumpled into something far less than confident then. She leaned down toward Lacus, away from the mikes. Still, with the growing stillness in the room, her words could be heard. “That changed. That’s… how it started. But it’s not how it’s ended.”
Lacus’ eyes widened.
Cagalli took Lacus’ hands in hers. Murmurs built up as cameras flashed. Cagalli pressed her face close to Lacus’. “I know this isn’t how we planned it,” she said, her voice so low beneath the rising clamor it was difficult to make out. “But it’s how I’ve come to feel. I’m sorry.”
Lacus burst into a blinding smile. She hugged Cagalli close. Her lips moved then, but the sudden shouts as the reporters reacted drowned her out entirely. It didn’t mater. Whatever Lacus said, the intent was clear: she felt the same.
Athrun sat on the floor.
Cagalli’s admission to Lacus should have been the highlight of that little speech. Instead, his mind kept skipping back to her first secret. He didn’t move, even as a couple of the guards moved to intercept the women as they made their ways off the stage. Athrun watched the chaos in a haze.
Kira loved him?
He stared at his phone. Kira hadn’t called him. Kira wasn’t the type to ignore a call from someone. Maybe he hadn’t noticed yet. Maybe…
Maybe Kira was scared. Maybe Lacus and Cagalli were as right about him as he’d been about them, and he feared what Athrun’s response would be.
What would his response be?
Cagalli and Lacus returned surrounded by guards, their hands entwined. He looked up at them from his place on the floor. They stopped when they saw him, their grins dimming a bit. He didn’t want to ruin this for them. He just didn’t know how to work his legs at the moment.
The girls looked at each other. Lacus ducked down to cup one of his knees. “Have you spoken to him?” she asked. Silently, he shook his head. She frowned. “Are you upset?”
He opened his mouth. Closed it. Shook his head again. “I’m not… I don’t love him.” He looked up at her, his eyes wide. “Do I?”
She smiled. “Isn’t that a question you should be asking yourself?”
He didn’t want to ask himself. He was afraid he knew the answer. Everything he’d done, everything they’d been through. If he’d loved Kira through all of that, then what did that say about him? Trying to kill him. Abandoning him. Ignoring his fears and concerns. Joining Durandel and letting things escalate between them all over again. And yet, through it all, he knew who he had been hung up on. When Cagalli had been making her poor choices, he had dismissed her. A mistake, he knew now, but a telling one. Because, when Kira had fouled up, he had gone out of his way to hunt Kira down and yell at him.
He’d never once made an animal for Cagalli.
He covered his face with his hands. “I’m an idiot.”
Cagalli laughed. Lacus’ hand clenched around his knee. He looked up in time to catch Lacus trying to shush Cagalli. The grin on her face ruined the effect. She turned back to him, caught him looking, and quickly morphed her face into something a bit more empathetic. “At least you’ve realized.”
He looked back at his phone. Still nothing. And the conference was over. His heart thudded thickly in his chest. “I didn’t even notice what was going on with you two. He did.”
Cagalli sighed. “I think he was the only one of the two of you to notice his true feelings.”
Athrun’s eyes widened. He looked from Cagalli to Lacus. She did not attempt to object.
Kira had known? That he loved Athrun?
“But…” He ran a hand through his hair. “How?” he asked. “Kira never…” He waved a hand at the two of them. “There’s no way.”
Lacus’ laugh tinkled around the room. She covered her mouth with her hand. “I don’t think he’s ever named it,” she agreed. “But there’s never been a time when he hasn’t acknowledged you as someone precious to him.”
He looked at his phone again, even though he knew very well Kira hadn’t called. He struggled to his feet. Lacus hovered beside him as he swayed, but he managed to keep his balance. “I have to go,” he said, and turned. Then he turned right back around and hugged her. “I’m happy for you.” He pulled back and smiled at Cagalli. “For both of you. And… thank you.” He hurried away.
He didn’t drive straight to the Marshall Islands. Even though Kira still hadn’t called him, he couldn’t find it in himself to face Kira any more than Kira seemed able to face him.
Sometimes it felt like his entire life, Kira had been his best friend. Other times, it felt like Kira had been his greatest betrayal. Even now, his mind itched between the need to make sure Kira was all right and the firm belief that he shouldn’t have to worry about Kira. Not when his own mind nipped around itself in horrible little circles.
Love. It was a word that encompassed far too many different kinds of emotions. He’d loved his father, for all the good it had done him. He loved his mother, even though his love couldn’t reach her anymore. Same with Nicol, and Miguel, and Rusty, and so many others that he’d lost during the war. He’d loved Lacus, though that love had never reached what their parents had wanted it to. He’d loved Cagalli, though there had been many times when he’d felt she’d needed to grow up (though that had been him all along, hadn’t it? He’d been the one who’d needed to grow up). He’d loved Kira, but only ever as a friend. He’d never thought anything sexual about him. And when he tried, he nearly skidded off the road.
The scare made him park the car. As soon as the engine was dead, he thunked his head onto the steering wheel and sighed. The girls had thought there was something there. Something so strong, it was worth pretending to be in a relationship with each other to try to get him and Kira to notice it. In other words, it wouldn’t have been enough for them to break up with him and Kira,; they had to show that two people of the same gender could fall in love with each other. Not that neither he nor Kira knew it; they did. It was just part of a person’s DNA, same as being a coordinator or a natural.
So why was the thought only beating its way into his head now?
He looked at his phone. Still nothing. He sighed. Was Kira thinking this over the way he was, or had he already reached his decision? Was he not calling because he thought Athrun might love him, and he didn’t want to have to reject him? He closed his eyes. That didn’t quite fit. Kira would never turn away from Athrun’s feelings like that. Besides, Cagalli had only specifically mentioned Kira’s emotions during her little speech. She’d specifically stated that Kira loved him. Athrun’s heart pounded at the very thought. If his friend did love him, and still hadn’t tried to call Athrun back – was he ashamed? Afraid? Did he think Athrun would forsake him?
He sucked in a breath. No. He didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to turn Kira away.
Was that… his answer?
He revved up the engine and pulled back out onto the street. If that was his answer, then he should get around to saying it. Before Kira wore that familiar lost look on his face again. If it wasn’t already there.
Athrun gritted his teeth and went faster.
Lacus had either vastly understated the remaining number of reporters outside the orphanage estate or they’d congregated together once more after Cagalli’s and Lacus’ conference. He slowed his car down as he idled up the drive. The reporters all turned to him as he made his way up the drive, nearly throwing themselves in front of his car to ask him questions. He finally parked his car and stepped out. “Sir!” the reporters screamed, shoving their microphones under his nose. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that the quickest way to be recognized as someone in hiding was to act as if he was in hiding. “Are you the one Mr. Yamato purportedly loves?”
“Were you aware of the relationship between Miss Clyne and Miss Athha?”
“Have you been around Miss Clyne or Miss Athha since the beginning of this supposed relationship? Don’t you think it’s convenient that this announcement came just as Mr. Yamato had gotten caught in an affair?”
Athrun pushed through the throng. He kept his gaze on the door, ignoring the vultures as they pressed around him. Inside that building, bearing the brunt of these peoples’ aimless ire, sat Kira. Kira, who even now had yet to return Athrun’s call.
The crowd circled closer as he made his way forward. Shouts filtered in and out of his perception; only those showing aggression caught his eye. Working as Cagalli’s personal bodyguard had given him plenty of practice with these kinds of people, at least.
He pounded at the door when he reached it. “Kira!” he shouted, and tried to ignore the flashes of cameras and the knowledge that he would be outed, soon enough, and Orb would have yet another scandal to face down. That was something to worry about later. “Kira!” he shouted again, “it’s me! Open up!”
It took almost a minute, but finally the door opened. The reverend was the one to usher Athrun inside. Probably for the best; the crowd would likely lose their minds if Kira showed himself to them. Athrun practically charged into the building, already sick and tired of having microphones bouncing off his face. He looked around, only to see the kids huddled in small groups, their eyes wide as they listened to the chaos on their front porch. The haros worked overtime, bouncing in and out of their hands and assuring them things would be okay. Kira was nowhere to be found. “Reverend,” he said, turning to the older man. He paused long enough to say, “thank you for letting me in.” Then on the same breath, “where’s Kira?”
The reverend smiled and nodded to the back. Without another word, Athrun raced out. As he left, he caught sight of Kira’s phone, abandoned on the endtable by the sofa. It flashed the notification for a missed call.
He thought Kira might have wormed his way past the reporters and off to the shoreline, but instead he found his old friend sitting at the kitchen table, his gaze pulled to the back porch and the bright sky. Athrun stopped cold. Now that he was here, he found himself at a loss as to what to say. Slowly, Kira turned to him. His eyes looked haunted. “Guess they could see things clearly, after all,” he said. His voice sounded hoarse. He didn’t try to clear it. “We were the oblivious ones.”
Athrun stuck his hands in his pockets. Kira looked oddly fragile, sitting there alone in the streaming daylight. He felt stupid and awkward and clueless. “I guess so.”
“Birdy!” He nearly jumped out of his skin. The mechanical bird flapped its way into the kitchen from the bedrooms and sailed over to Kira’s shoulder. Without thought, Kira reached up to pet it. It turned into his touch.
He’d never told Kira off for treating it like a real bird.
“I wonder if this would have been easier,” he said, sitting down in the seat opposite Kira, “if we’d found out the way the girls had originally planned.”
Kira stilled. Wide purple eyes turned to focus on him. “What?”
Athrun shifted and cleared his throat. “Would we have already figured this out for ourselves? Or would we have come to some separate conclusion?”
Kira looked down at his lap. Birdy nudged him with its beak. His lips shook when he opened them to answer. “Have we reached a new conclusion?” he asked. He looked back to the window, his gaze dark as it scanned the far-off sea. “You’re my best friend, Athrun.” He stopped again. Birdy nudged his cheek and cooed at him.
Athrun thought of his own reasons to hesitate, his mistakes, the ways in which he'd hurt Kira. He remembered watching the girls as they fell in love. The only reason they’d seemed more than just friends, at first, was because of the way they leaned toward one another, the way they sought each other out. The way they put one another before anything or anyone else.
He’d been accused, several times, of going easy on Kira simply because of who he was. Even though they’d been enemies.
He lowered his head. Raised it, and waited until Kira turned that bright gaze back to him. “I think things have changed,” he murmured softly. Kira winced. “Quite a bit. If only in perception.”
Kira’s hands shook, nearly slamming on the table as he pushed himself upright. He hurried over to the counter and opened one of the cabinet doors. He took out a packet of tea, only to stop and stare at the thing in his hand as if he didn’t recognize it. “Does it have to?”
“Yes.” he frowned. “Kira.” He stood. Kira didn’t move. “You’re acting like I’m going to deny this. Deny you.” Kira’s shoulders tensed. “I’m not. I think… no. I know the girls are right about this.” Kira looked over his shoulder at him. “Remember when they first got together? Everything they did, we do.” He smiled. “Well, everything but hold hands.” He held one hand out. Kira stared at it. “They may be wrong. But they may not be. Shouldn’t we find out?”
Kira took a shaky breath. “I don’t ever want to lose what we have,” he said. Even as he spoke, however, he placed the packet down on the counter and reached out to him. “We already nearly lost each other a few times before.”
Athrun never wanted to think about those days, those wretched memories of a world in which he’d killed his best friend. The world Lacus had saved him from – no. The world Kira, in surviving, had saved him from. “No matter what happens,” he swore, “I will never let myself lose this. Not again.”
Kira reached out. Their fingers touched.
It was the most awkward thing in the world.
Athrun laughed. It was stupid. They were acting like children. He turned his hand around and grasped Kira’s hand tightly. This time, there was nothing awkward about it at all. “Why don’t we try?” he asked again.
Kira curled his fingers around Athrun’s and nodded. “I don’t think they’re wrong,” he admitted. “Lacus rarely is.”
“Neither is Cagalli, when she’s following her heart.” He looked at their hands, each finger nearly white-knuckled as if in desperation. It looked so right it startled him. He’d never known how perfectly Kira’s hand fit in his. “And I don’t think we’ve been wrong, either, when doing the same.”
Finally, Kira’s shoulders relaxed. “Neither do I.”
Athrun dared tug Kira closer. He checked Kira’s face, the nervous smile ticking the edge of his mouth, the slight widening of the eyes as he recognized Athrun’s plan. He didn’t frown or pull away. After several moments, Kira silently tilted his head. Athrun released a gust of breath and leaned in to meet those lips with his.
For a moment, the awkwardness returned full-force. Then Kira sighed, and that moment passed. He gripped Kira’s shoulders and dipped deeper inside, tasting Kira’s nervous excitement on his tongue. Mid-kiss, he found himself laughing again. He broke off the kiss, thinking to apologize, only for Kira to laugh, too. Sparkling eyes met his. “They’ll never let us live this down, you know,” Kira told him.
Athrun forced himself to stop watching those lips move. “Oh, that’s all right,” he said with a grin. “It’s not like we don’t have ammunition of our own.”
Kira swung his arms around Athrun’s shoulders. Athrun’s heart thrummed hard in his chest. “That’s true. And they started it.”
Athrun laughed. There was no good reason to, and yet he did. He’d never felt so happy in his life. “Right. This is all their fault.”
Kira leaned up for another kiss. “Though maybe we should thank them.”
Athrun cupped Kira’s chin. “Later.”