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"Listen. It's not even a commitment issue thing, okay? I know you're gonna think it's that, but really. It's not."
"Eames, I don't care."
"Arthur's brilliant, Yusuf. He's funny, and smart, and sarcastic as hell and a conceited dick and if I learned anything these last couple years with him is that I love him."
"Seriously." Yusuf says, "I'm your bartender."
"You're my friend. And I'd be fine having sex with the same person for the rest of my life, if it wasn't the same sex every. Single. Time." He punctuates his sentences by hitting his shot glass against the table. Yusuf not so gently removes it before Eames ends up breaking the thing.
"Eames, I really don't care. And for the love of god stop making me think about you and your boyfriend having sex."
"You're just jealous you don't get someone so hot like class-president-Arthur in your bed."
"We're not in high school anymore," Yusuf says, and Eames snorts.
"Well, thank fuck for that. When's the last time you've been on a date?"
"Fuck you. And I don't care about your sex life, I'm your bartender."
"You're my friend!"
Yusuf replies by way of refiling Eames' shot glass and raising his eyebrows. When Eames pretends to be desolated Yusuf rolls his eyes and fills one for himself to.
"So," Yusuf says, after they both shot them back, grimacing. "Talk to him. Say you want to try some kinky shit."
"It doesn't have to be kinky, really. Just some variation could be nice."
Yusuf dismisses it with a hand. "So, do it."
"Do what?"
"Talk to him."
"You're a terrible friend."
"Tell me about it," Yusuf says, sarcastically, and leaves for a moment to attend someone on the other side of the bar. "This magic option you want doesn't exist mate," He says, when he comes back. "You're gonna have to talk to Arthur."
"Talk to me about what?"
They both turn to stare at Arthur, who's taking out his jacket and clearly just got there. Arthur slowly raises his eyebrows, looking between the two of them. Yusuf breaks first.
"Eames thinks your sex life is too vanilla."
"I didn't say that-"
"He wants to try some kinky shit."
"I really didn't say that-"
"He was describing in detail a fantasy where you're wearing a slutty police officer costume and he's been a bad, bad boy-"
"That's enough Yusuf," Eames says, and Yusuf grins. "Don't you have some people to bartend way over there?" Eames adds, with a pointed look to the other side of the bar. Yusuf laughs, and holds up a hand for a fistbumb.
"Good luck mate."
"Thanks," Eames says, bumping it, and Yusuf dutifully goes to the other end of the bar.
"So," Arthur says, when Yusuf's out of shot. Eames is terrified to look at him, in case Arthur is awfully offended, in case Eames somehow fucked this up, but when he looks over Arthur is grinning, full of mischief.
"You want to try new things then?"
"Yeah," Eames says, relief coming through. "It doesn't have to be some kinky shit, just some variation, you know? Not that I don't like the sex we have! You're great. We're great. It's just a thought."
Arthur shrugs, "I was kind of following your lead, to be honest. You have more experience at this than I do."
"Well, yeah, but we met in high school Arthur, when I transferred in senior year, it's not like my 18-year-old self was ready to write a revised kama sutra. We're mostly figuring this out as we go."
"Okay then," Arthur says, still smiling. And then pulls him by the hand towards the doors, "wanna give it a try?"
Eames doesn't know how he got so lucky.
"You didn't even pay the bill! Next time you're here you better tip well, asshole," Yusuf shouts after them, but when Eames looks back he's smiling, like he's just happy for them too. Eames salutes him, like 'gotcha!', and follows Arthur out the door.