Chapter Text
Laurens looked over to his partner in crime, his main man, his best friend, his what-could-be-but-never-will-be, and he could only feel… well, a mixture. That’s always been the way it was with Alex. Everything was complicated, but… he was the one complicating it. If he had just accepted… but he couldn’t. It was like telling Icarus to not stretch for the sun, to tell the pigeons in New York not to eat bread, to will death to stop existing… along with taxes. He smirked at the last joke in his head, before glancing over to the aforementioned man
There he was, studying the map like it held the key to their survival… and maybe it did. They didn’t have any reception in this god damned forest, and neither were particularly careful about keeping track of where they were. They had just wanted to explore the forest, they didn’t expect to go that far in, and at this point they couldn’t tell what was a trail, and if they were on one, which way would lead back to civilization.
But he wasn’t particularly scared. He’d never held that same hunger and passion for life that Alex had. He… he just had less to lose. That didn’t mean he hated life. He just never found much promise in it. They say love is one of the greatest joys in life, right? But with all the news about gays getting beaten, tortured, killed, and their marriages being treated like dirt… he lost hope. He lost faith in the concept that he could grow old and have a stable life and a family and smile at the end of the day. He didn’t believe a future like that even had a place in this world, or at least not for him. And if it wasn’t the world around him, it would be his own lack of romantic ability.
Who was he kidding? He couldn’t get a decent guy to stay for his life. If he even got a guy in the first place. So he had a world against him and a lack of ability and he’d never find love. Except for… the bottom of a beer bottle. No, whisky. Whisky was always his favorite. It had an old taste to it, it was cultured and refined and it was tough. All things that he wished he were sometimes. All things that he looked up to. It was befitting.
But he knew it was going to kill him. The rate he was going, he’d burn out fast. He wondered if Alex knew that. The way he looked at him sometimes… he thought he did. But neither had confronted it yet. He wouldn’t mind if they never did. Alex didn’t love him anyways, he couldn’t provide the meaning he so desperately needed… and if that’s the case, he may as well burn with the whisky in the back of his throat. What was that phrase? Better to burn than to fade away?
Way to bring back his edgy middle school self. He cringed, and Alex noticed finally.
“You okay?” The other asked, but it wasn’t Laurens he should be worried about.
“I’m fine… how are you holding up?” He asked, almost tenderly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You figuring it out?”
“I’m trying… I really don’t want to camp the night.”
“We’ll be okay, Alex. If anyone’s coming out of this forest alive, it’s you.”
He scoffed, but a smile curled on his lips. “Thanks, John… We’re such dumbasses.” He laughed.
“I know,” John smirked.
“It’s getting dark,” Alex looked up at the sky.
“I know,” John nodded. “Maybe we should turn our flashlights on.”
“Alright,” Alex agreed. They did so, turning on the lights and walking along the path for awhile.
“It’s really getting dark… do you think we’ll get stuck out here?” John asked, looking over. He reached out, gently putting a hand on Alexander’s back.
“We’ll be fine,” Alex said tensely, and he knew he was worried in a way Laurens just could never summon himself to be.
Suddenly a new flashlight basked the road ahead of them in a more natural light, and a stronger one.
“Wait!” A voice called, worry clear.
They both jumped, turning around, and Laurens was met with a hunk of a man, well built, strong, older, dark, handsome, and, clearly prepared for camping.
“You two- I saw you earlier,” the man panted. “Y’all’re still out here? Y’all’re clearly not prepared, so I thought I’d check on y’all.”
He was Southern, and he reminded Laurens of home in a way.
“Oh, uh,” Alex’s cheeks grew warm as he took charge in explaining. Laurens just enjoyed the view of the man, appreciating him with his eyes.
So he wouldn’t die today. Well, then he may as well get a good look at his savior. He wasn’t going to passing up jerk off material anyways.