Chapter Text
“Hi! Look, this is gonna be weird,” was not usually a way Davey liked to start conversations with strangers. In fact, it was probably one of his top-ten worst ways to start any interaction. And yet here he was, trying to talk to a person in a grocery store who was admittedly very cute, and he had just let those words come out of his mouth.
No going back now.
“Uh, and I know that sounds really bad, but hear me out, okay?”
Smooth, Jacobs. Way to make it better. The cute stranger - he shouldn’t call him that, but he couldn’t help it - raised his left eyebrow and the left side of his mouth in a way that Davey hoped meant ‘go on’.
“So I just saw my ex-boyfriend walk in and,” he took a deep breath, finding it incredibly difficult to keep eye contact instead of looking around at all the food and colorful holiday decorations, “our breakup was really bad. It was really hard for both of us when he moved and then when we tried to be long distance and he broke up with me for some girl in another state and it took so long for it all to end but I missed it and him for like two years after it ended and-” he broke off. “I don’t know why I had to give you that backstory but for some reason it just spilled out. My point is, would you be able and willing to-”
“-pretend to be your significant other so you don’t look like a lonely, single loser on the day before Valentine’s Day?” the stranger said with a knowing smile, shifting his weight on his forearm crutches.
Davey nodded.
“Easy. I’m already finishing your sentences, aren’t I?”
Davey laughed in relief. “Yeah. You are.” He could feel his face turn bright red, but he didn’t care.
“What’s your name?” the boy asked. “I don’t really want to keep calling you ‘lonely, single loser’ in my head.”
“David,” he said, and stuck out his hand.
The other boy shook it, squeezing gently. “Nice to meet you, David. You can call me Charlie or you can call me Crutchie, I don’t really care.”
Davey furrowed his eyebrows. “You don’t care? Isn’t that like-”
“-Horribly offensive? A little, yeah. But it’s cool, y’know?” he laughed, leaning backwards, so he was almost leaning into the rack of chips. “All my friends and I have nicknames for each other, and most of them are a little offensive at least. It’s half the fun.”
Davey must have still been making a sour face, because his new friend/fake-boyfriend rolled his eyes.
“Just call me Charlie if it bugs you,” he shrugged. “But I actually prefer Crutchie with people I like, and if we’re gonna pretend to like each other, I feel like the nickname is a good way to go.”
“Crutchie it is,” Davey nodded quickly. The name tasted like copper in his mouth, but if it was what this guy liked to be called, then who was he to judge?
A beat of silence passed in which the two of them looked nervously at each other.
“So, uh, how should we do this?” Crutchie eventually said. “Do we wanna like, hang out together and hope he eventually notices us, or would you rather we hold hands and act super gooey and follow him around a little bit?”
Davey nodded and smiled, thinking it over. “I know the second one sounds like something that only a bad person would do, but I kind of really want to do it.”
“Okay, alright. That works for me,” Crutchie said. Without permission, he reached up and set his basket in Davey’s cart. “Are you a good actor, David?”
He blinked. “I, uh, acted a little bit in high school.”
Crutchie’s eyes glinted like he was up to something. Or maybe that was just the awful fluorescent lights in the store. “And how long ago was that?”
“Why do you wanna know?”
“So I know if our age gap is weird, David,” he smiled. Davey found himself liking the way Crutchie said the name. He popped the last ‘d’ a little bit, so that it almost sounded like ‘david-a’. “Is it more straightforward to ask how old you are?”
“I’m 22.”
“Okay, good. That’s not an issue then,” Crutchie said, resting a hand on the handle of the shopping cart. “I’m a little older, but not much. Now,” he bounced up, “where’s this boy?”
“I saw him over there, in the candy aisle,” Davey pointed.
“Great, let’s go over there, then.”
Before Davey really knew what was happening, his cart was moving away from him. Crutchie pushed it out from under him, and as David struggled to keep up, he heard Crutchie whisper “just make sure you keep up the charade.”
He was able to barely register that maybe this was a bad idea and maybe he should call it off, but only as Crutchie pushed the cart into the candy aisle. Yeah, the fucking candy aisle, right before Valentine’s Day. Cheesy. Why had David ever dated this guy, again?
They passed him, the wheels of the cart squeaking softly against the white speckled floor. He raised his head, pausing from reading the ingredients on a package of clearance chocolate.
His voice squeaked a little bit before he finally got out a word. “Davey?” he said, turning around and blinking like he couldn’t understand that he’d really just seen his ex.
“Noah!” Davey says, straightening his back and smiling. “Hey!”
He was about to stick his hand out, to shake Noah’s hand, but Crutchie grabbed his hand before he could do anything. He made a tiny squeaking sound, similar to Noah’s, and then grinned at Crutchie.
“Hi, Noah, how are you?”
“I’m good, Davey,” he said, running his tongue gently over his own bottom lip. “Uh, how are you doing? And who’s this?” Noah pointed at Crutchie.
“This is-”
“Crutchie,” Crutchie removed his hand from Davey’s and shook Noah’s hand. “His boyfriend.”
“Oh!” Noah’s eyebrows shot up, his hands dropping to his side. “I didn’t realize, uh, I didn’t know - I hadn’t heard you were dating someone! That’s cool though, how long have you two been together?”
Crutchie went silent for half of a second, and David’s brain kicked into overdrive.
“Uh, we’re coming up on a year now, right babe?” he stuttered out, mostly to Crutchie instead of to Noah. But he knew the impact that would have. ‘Babe’ had never been a word he’d used for Noah, or for any boyfriend before then.
“Yep!” Crutchie smiled wide.
“Are you, uh, dating anyone right now?” David asks, gesturing to what Noah was holding. “Buying those chocolates for anyone?”
Noah’s ears turned red, as did the rest of his face, and his dimple peeked out, and now David remembered why he had dated him. “Yeah,” he nodded. “She’s really great. She’s, oh man, she’s the best.” He looked up, suddenly, and his eyes glazed over with determination. “I’m gonna ask her to marry me. Tomorrow night, I hope.” He laughed. “If I don’t chicken out.”
Davey smiled at him, truly happy that Noah had found a person with whom he could be happy. He tried to ignore the pang of jealousy he felt.
“That’s incredible!” Davey felt himself reaching for Crutchie’s hand. A sensation of warmth shot through him when he felt Crutchie link his fingers in between Davey’s and squeeze his hand.
Noah’s inhale was audible. “It kinda is, isn’t it? Uh,” he looked down at the chocolates he was still holding “Which one of these says, ‘I’m about to ask you to marry me in twenty-seven hours. You’re not supposed to know that, but you’re smarter than I am so you probably do, and I’m chill but please say yes’?”
Crutchie laughed. This boy, David decided, was getting along a little too well with Noah. Not that that was his fault, of course. Noah had enough charm to talk to a snake, something David wished he could say about himself.
“The one with the raspberries, for sure,” Crutchie pointed to the chocolate bar in Noah’s left hand. “It’s romantic, but it’s not quite as sweet as the one with caramel, you know?”
Noah looked up at David’s sort-of-boyfriend with surprise. “I have no idea what you mean, but I’m gonna take that advice.” He switched his gaze to David. “He’s a keeper, huh?”
“Uh, well, I mean-”
“I don’t know if I’m a keeper, but he sure is,” Crutchie saved the day, bumping into Davey gently. “It’s weird, how you don’t expect something to work and then, somehow, it just clicks. Random and strange circumstances can bring people together in some strange ways, huh?”
Davey laughed. “Yeah, they can. Kinda weird how that happens. But yeah, he’s a keeper. He’s saved my ass too many times to not be, at this point.”
“He owes me, see,” Crutchie teased, grabbing onto the hem of David’s shirt. “And he’s never gonna be able to pay me back, so I think he’s stuck with me.”
Noah grinned at them, placing the chocolate in his cart. “You two are a good pair. I’m glad you’re happy, Davey,” he cringed and inhaled, “especially after everything that happened between us. That wasn’t easy, for either of us, you know? But I think it worked out for the best.”
Davey forced a smile, resisting the urge to let himself break his new character that he was acting: the one who didn’t mind if Noah was off somewhere, with his almost-fiance, the one who had a boyfriend who loved him enough to tease him in public and go grocery shopping and get things for himself and put them in his cart like it was no big deal. “Yeah, I agree. It really helped me grow as a person, I think.”
“That’s the best thing about you, Dave,” Noah reached over and patted his shoulder. “You can reflect on yourself in a way that not many of us can. You’re a good man.”
Davey smiled bitterly.
“I should get going, though,” he smiled and waved his hands around. “I’ve got some big stuff coming up, and all that. It was good to see you, Davey, and nice to meet you, Crutchie. Have a, uh, good Valentine’s Day.”
“You too.”
“Nice to meet you too, Noah.”
Noah walked down the aisle and turned the corner to check out. Not the only aisle he’d be walking down, if everything went right for him.
Crutchie and David walked to the end of the aisle, holding hands. David dropped Crutchie’s hand as soon as they were out of sight of Noah.
“Thanks, Crutchie,” David said, ignoring the acidic lump in the back of his throat. “Thank you for helping me out. It means a lot to me.”
Crutchie looked almost sorry for David. “You’re-you’re welcome.”
“And hey, uh, if I ever happen to run into you again, I’ll owe you something,” David offered, trying to be kind. “Or I’d be more than happy to help you pay for your groceries, if you want. It’d be the least I could do, really.”
Crutchie looked at a loss for words. David didn’t blame him; it would have been difficult to miss the way that he wilted after that conversation. “Yeah, alright. Uh, it was no problem, really. But you should do whatever makes you feel better.”
David nodded. “Are you ready to check out?”
He nodded absently.
Checking out passed by in a blur. David paid for half of Crutchie’s groceries, which thankfully wasn’t much more than he had planned on buying for himself.
“Thank you again, Crutchie,” David said as Crutchie finished bagging up his purchases. “It helped me out a lot to not be an awkward, single loser.”
Crutchie’s eyes were serious. “You’re not a loser, no matter how single you are. Promise.”
“Thanks,” Davey said, legitimately grateful to this stranger-turned-friend. “Really, thank you. I know it was awkward, but you really helped. I mean, more than anything, I think I just didn’t wanna be alone to deal with my ex-boyfriend. It was good to have someone there to hold my hand. So seriously, if you ever need anything, I’d be down.”
Crutchie paused and shifted his weight. “First of all, don’t get too sappy. I was trying to console my own single self just as much as I was trying to console you.”
If Davey was relieved that Crutchie was single, it was only because he wouldn’t have wanted to make someone fake-cheat on their significant other. Nothing more.
“Secondly, I might just have to take you up on that,” Crutchie dug in his pocket and pulled out his phone. “Put your number in, so I can give you a text if I need something.”
“Something like a fake boyfriend?” Davey said, smiling genuinely again, and doing as he was told.
“Yeah, exactly.”
-
On his way home, Davey felt like he should have been sad. It would have made sense to be sad, after seeing that his ex-boyfriend had moved on completely from their relationship and was now successfully in another one. Davey had moved on from the relationship, but he hadn’t been in another serious relationship since. Should he have been in one?
He didn’t spend too long thinking about it; an odd accomplishment, given that everyone knew he was a chronic overthinker. Instead, he let himself relish in the odd Valentine’s Day butterflies he felt in his stomach. He didn’t even ask for an explanation of why they were there, just let them flutter around happily, lifting him home until he laid down on the couch, grinning.
Davey looked at his phone. He didn’t know what he expected to be there. A text, maybe. It didn't matter. A good day was a good day.