Work Text:
This is why you don't drink from strange coffee cans.
A Final Fantasy XV fanfiction
"Noct."
Gladio, for his part, is remarkably calm for this situation. Looking at Noctis like he was a crazy person, but mostly calm nonetheless. Prompto asks before he does though.
"You put. You put what in the magic armi-magig thingy?"
And he, on the other hand, looks like he's got the world's biggest brain-freeze.
"..." Noctis scratches his cheek with a sigh and answers in the slowest, calmest way that he could, "I, uh. Put Ignis in my Armiger."
And silence on cue. It stretches for a while before Prompto raises his hand like he's back in class.
"Just. To clarify. You're talking about your magical armoury video game hyperspace thing right?" Prompto asks.
"Yep."
"And you're talking about...Iggy, right?" Gladio asks, "Tall guy, glasses, pointy hair like his personality, got a thing for daggers and coeurl print patterns?"
"That's the thing, uh. He isn't...tall??? Anymore?????"
"Huh?"
"Look." Noctis holds his hands out and there's a rush of blue light, like whenever he usually summoned something. Holding his hands out to gently catch the little doll that landed softly in them.
"Hey, Iggy. You alright?" Noctis asks it, gently, looking less like the 114th Lucian prince and more like resident crazy person that lives in a wood shack somewhere probably.
And as Prompto and Gladio watch, the little doll starts to move.
"Quite alright." The little doll says in Ignis' voice.
There is a squeaking sound from Prompto.
"Oh em. Gee."
"What the. Mini. Chipmunk Iggy??" Gladio finishes for Prompto this time.
"Ah, Prompto. Gladio. You're faring better than I am."
They both stare at him.
"I found him like this, a ways away." Noctis says to Gladio, sounding exactly as tired as they felt all of a sudden.
"Uh huh. And you willing to explain why Iggy became a mini moogle man??"
"All I remember is drinking some Ebony. Next thing I know, I get knocked out and when I wake up I've shrunk to half my height."
"And more than half your weight." Noctis observes, hefting Ignis up a little.
"Ebony?" Prompto frowns, "So, wait. He developed an allergic reaction and it turned him into a doll boy?"
"If he's allergic to Ebony, it's news to me." Gladio says, eyeing him, "And regular old coffee wouldn't do something like this."
"It...may have to do with the fact that the Ebony can was open and placed conspicuously on a bench."
And once more, silence falls.
Noctis sighs.
"..................................."
"........................................."
"......................................................."
"Ignis. Are you out of your goddamned mind?"
"Severely caffeine depleted, but somewhat sane."
"You sure about that, buddy?" Prompto asks, "We're literally on the run from the Empire, how did that not raise several red flags for you?"
"I was...severely...caffeine depleted." Ignis' deadpan delivery was normal, but his tone was sheepish, implying that he'd realized his mistake somewhere down the line.
"I found him near an Imperial fortress. He couldn't exactly fight, so I had to sneak him back here before I could do anything." Noct says.
"..."
"How are you alive, Iggy."
"......"
Looking suitably chastised, Ignis hangs his head just a bit.
"We should keep an eye on him." Gladio says, all business as usual, "I'm just gonna assume that it'll wear off and it's not poisonous or anything. Could just be like the times we turn into frogs or stone."
"Huh." Noct looks at him with a raised eyebrow, "I'll keep an eye on him then."
"Don't...stuff him back into the Armiger, Noct."
"I won't! I didn't want to do that either, y'know."
"It was surprisingly comfortable in there, though. If a bit cold."
"Not gonna do that anymore."
"Aw."
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"...You have my apologies." Ignis says finally. Noct looks up at him.
"Hm? What for?"
"For holding you all back. Because of poor judgement on my part."
"It's fine. It happens to all of us."
"It's supposed to happen less to me though, as the aide to the heir apparent." Ignis settles down next to Noct's place at the bench, where he'd abandoned crafting magic
grenades at this time, in favor of studying Ignis' daggers.
"As long as you're not poisoned or anything." Noct does look at him then. Then squints at him. "Actually..."
"Hm? What is it?"
"...Heh. You're the size of the daggers, right now."
"Am I?" Ignis looks down at himself and then at the daggers. And frowns. "...Well, that rules out self-defense entirely."
"It's fine. We'll get you back to normal, soon."
"...You're smirking, Noctis."
"Am I? It's just kind of a...change seeing you like this."
"A change?"
"You make a cute doll."
"...Do I?"
"Plus with you like this, Gladio and I can eat alllll the Cup Noodles we want."
A sigh from Ignis. He's still looking at the daggers.
"...Ignis." Noct holds his hand out.
"Hm?" And Ignis takes his hand in his tiny ones.
And as Ignis looks up, Noct kisses his tiny forehead.
"...!"
"Huh. Thought for sure that'd work."
"...I don't exactly qualify as a frog prince, Noct."
"Maybe I should do it again."
"Noct."
"Hm?" Noct says with a grin. And Ignis merely stares at him, before he walks up to Noct and sits down, leaning against him. Only moving infinitesmally when Noct pats his head.
"So, you'd prefer me pocket-sized then?"
"I'd prefer you any size of the day."
"It's less convenient for me to stay like this."
"Uh huh."
Although, Ignis thinks to himself, privately, that this...felt kind of nice.
He could get used to this.
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