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This. This twisting in his gut. This wrenching, and pulling, and shaking; it was a completely alien experience to Gob, confusing yet exhilarating. Rather than looking at the person he laid beside and feeling sick, guilty, disgusted, and like he’d made a huge mistake, his heart fluttered. He didn’t want to throw up; far from it. No, this time he was sure he could trace every line on his lover’s body, inhale the scent of his hair, count each freckle, learn everything about him, and it still wouldn’t take up enough time.
The urge to pop a Forget-Me-Now and forget forget forget because it’s so easy to forget barely even crossed his mind.
The weird heart-boner felt as prominent as the day he had first met Tony, all those years ago. Maybe love is when the heart-boner never goes away.
Even in his age, he was only just learning about the torturous, awful, beautiful pain of being caught up in such affections, but he was glad it was with the man beside him. Tony was more than just something to keep the bed warm, he was somebody that Gob actually wanted while sober. That shit’s insane. It was as if that when they were together, the nonexistent approval from his family that Gob constantly pined for melted into a dull throb rather than a breath-sucking stab.
It was too early in this thing they had to really say, but Gob still hoped that...Tony’s heart-dick was hard, or something like that.
God, Gob, you are so fucking gay, he thought to himself.
Gob felt a joyful sense of pride rise in his chest as he replied, Yeah, I guess I am.
And yes, there was still some deep-rooted guilt that burned Gob’s insides, made him cry in the shower, but he was working on it; they both were.
Gob kissed Tony’s bare shoulder, wrapped him in an embrace. Tony stirred a bit and lazily kissed the back of Gob’s hand, which draped over him. And good lord, there that twisting, wrenching, pulling, shaking came again.
Gob sighed happily and fantasized about the many “same”s to come and all the kids they would raise to become magicians until he drifted into a dream state.