Chapter Text
Introduction.
Korra would never, in her 35 year old sane mind, say she liked being in the swamp. Of course, it presented great spiritual influence and the center of their known world, it demanded great respect from everyone, including herself. And yes, it was there that she was able to unblock her energy, during some of the darkest times of her PTSD. Probably for the same exact reasons, Korra had a hard time being back there.
On the other hand, she had drastically changed since her early twenties: first and foremost, Korra now had a much more common habit of visiting the nations’ regions and checking on their people. It had shown to be working out greatly for everyone involved. The emergencies were better taken care of and fewer and farther between; the citizens were growing closer to their avatar and, in return, she found herself learning a lot with them, each passing day. Eventually, Korra was also forced to grow used to places she didn’t particularly like. She had seen such as old temples carved with might in the tallest mountains imaginable; the busy and always extremely noisy Sing Se, with its seemingly unending conflicts; royal fire castles, built around actual active volcanoes even. They all had people that needed their Avatar, in one way or the other.
Korra was also learning to (or at least trying her best to) view the whole world as her home. After all, during some of her ‘recovery days’ she got to see some ugly sides of humanity. The Earth nation ended up taking most of that to blame, as if consciously trying to prove to the avatar what a mess it was in. Korra saw people dying of sickness and hunger, and the high population density didn’t do any other than harm. Sadly, issues such as those could not be fixed by martial arts and bending alone, similarly to her own mental conflicts.
It had been her identity for some of her worst memories, moving around in the Earth nation. Sleeping in dirty streets, picking fights in bad neighborhoods, only to watch the worst of people be brought out in bars and taverns. The surprise was, in the end, how much she had actually learned with this suffering. Around her 30th birthday, Korra started thinking of how her life experiences had shaped who she was, specially the more traumatizing events. She would often think of the said ‘villains’ she had faced and would constantly fail at coming to a conclusion, only making it more troubling for the next time she chose to think about them. It was easier to just leave some thoughts aside.
It had made her grow up in many ways, and now, that's what the nations were becoming for her: powerful memories to be used and articulated. All of that growth and inspirational talk, and yet, something in that stinky swamp made her feel uncomfortable and out of place like nothing else could.
It wasn’t that horrible in the practical sense of the word. Many spirits had chosen to live in the swamp, and they showed to be very interesting and curious creatures, for the most part. And since very few people lived there, there was never an actual need for Korra to visit. Nevertheless, the last time had been enough: stuff seemed to stick to her skin, dirtying and ripping her clothes. The air was pretty clean but humid and far too warm compared to the Water Tribe. The ground purely consisted of vines, water and mud; once again, the opposite of her birth place, which was filled with snow and ice. The sun was almost directly above it, but with so many trees and plants it was never bright enough to see your way clearly around, the atmosphere was mysterious and just plain creepy.
After being called to a nearby village to help with usual seasonal floods, Korra decided to pay a visit to master Toph. Like many people, she was completely bonkers but unlike many people, Toph actually enjoyed living in that place.
The first time Korra arrived in the swamp, she had been so very lost and so very alone. Fifteen years ago she had been in her lowest point, unable to trust her own mind. Master Toph had played a big part in that and, eventually, Korra learned how to embrace her new self, seeing it wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. She wasn’t one to talk much master Toph, at least with Korra she wasn’t. When asked why she had left her incredible and prosperous city so suddenly, the only answer Korra got was “I do whatever the fuck I want” and a hard shove on her stomach. And that was that.
Once she reached the old tree (how Toph could call that a home, Korra couldn’t fathom), master Toph acted exactly as the previously expected. No more, no less. The old lady grabbed the moonshine brought to her as a gift first, deciding to leave any talking for later. After a few cups of booze, the questions started coming quickly: Toph wanted to know about her family (Opal, Lin and Suyin primarily). She went on bickering about the Beifongs and how she still had the image of her father in mind, and the stupid decisions he had made in her childhood.
“And you never went back to to your parents?”
“Of course I didn’t!” Was the angry answer she got. “They treated me as a defenseless puppy, and I would just come home and say ‘hey so I was just hanging out with my friends, we took out this imperialist dictatorship, helping to end this world war that has been going on’? Try ‘n use some of that brain of yours, twinkle toes.”
The air nomads came up in the conversation some moment after. One person sure to do anything in her power to protect those people without a second thought in mind, was definitely master Toph. She had always held a soft spot for Tenzin and the air kids. Besides, she had seen it develop since it was just avatar Aang, trying to rebuild his once thought lost culture. Of course she would want to keep them safe at all costs.
Soon enough, Korra was being shooed away from that home. Toph was ‘too tired to think any more’. And it didn’t hurt Korra at all. Thinking it through, master Toph had every reason to be cranky and rude to others. The woman was around 105 years of age, anyone can agree that everything gets tiring at that point. That woman had done so much, heck, she had invented a whole new bending category when she was a little kid. Let her swear and act crazy all she wants, she deserves at least that by now. She wondered if she would turn out to be like that as an old lady too.
It was getting dark anyway, Korra just wanted to leave before the swamp got any more creepy.
Something made her stop instantly. A loud splash ringed in Korra's ears, clearing any thoughts that might’ve been crossing her mind. She felt her muscles tensing, her feet were now firm on the swamp’s ground, preparing her stance. Animal and nature noises were one thing, that common buzzing and constant movement. This was very different. She didn’t hear it as much as she had felt the strange noise, as weird as it sounded. It didn't seem to have come from the running water around her. It had simply occurred, as if from another world, trying to break through the muddy ground and giving up on the last possible moment, scattering, hiding away.
Korra coldly scanned her surroundings, expecting to find spirits or maybe even a wild beast that could be causing the noise and, therefore, some added trouble for her. A few more steps and her eyes caught ghostly shadows right behind her back, crawling, sliding in the water. She turned around, flexing her right fist as yellow fire energy started to gather, warming her fingers, ready for a direct fire attack. Again, she didn’t exactly see the movement, she had felt it somehow.
This was exactly why she abominated this place. Everything there was always so ominous.
Korra was very taken back as she saw a young boy’s image emerge instead. He had appeared without warning and in less than an instant, before her eyes and at the same time from the dark shadow of before. He wore green traditional clothes, obviously of Earth nation descent, though it was dark to see much more. His hair was messy and dirty, worn, much like the rest of his appearance. Korra had grown accustomed with this appearance, desensitized you could say. Her thoughts flew to her first meeting with Kai, and all the dirt poor kids she would constantly see around in the cities. This one could be no more than 11 years old taken by his short stature. Before Korra could approach and try to understand who (or what) he was, the boy's image flickered and disappeared, like a cutting gust of wind to her skin. Could a spirit be messing with her? But why pretend to be a human boy of all things? No, that wasn’t it.
A few meters to her right, a new image materialized from down below: this time a fully grown woman shot up on one of the swamp’s flattened rocks. Her skin was a tad darker and she was looking up, unmoving like the boy had been, as if waiting for something, frozen in time. Korra turned once again, to try and decipher these….beings. She noticed, a moment later, that the woman had no arms; her silhouette was solely based on her earth attire and her tied up hair. She couldn’t just be a random figure created by a spirit. Her clothes and features were too detailed and she looked like a very real person. Korra felt an ache in her spine as she became frozen as well, hurting and nervous all of a sudden. Were these somebody’s memories? But why did she have so many sensory responses to them, like pain and tingles?
Another splash sounded loudly and the woman's figure dissolved on the ground, unmercifully falling back into the shadows. Korra followed it with her eyes as it moved to where she was silently standing, watching still. Korra looked down to her feet and a new figure in the water appeared. Just to prove there was no pattern to these images, this one (unlike the others) was unmistakably recognizable: long flowy hair, beautiful makeup applied to her face, red and white paint carefully added, green warrior clothes, a proud and powerful posture. The adored, and just as well feared, Avatar Kyoshi.
Korra's heart seemed to painfully jump out of her chest as the realization came down to her. These were her memories. Kyoshi was one of the biggest symbols of the raw power of the avatar spirit. The three figures, they were all avatars, she could see that clearly now. But why?... How? And it was all happening far too quickly to understand.
As soon as Korra focused on looking down again there was no more Kyoshi, as if completely forgotten. Once again. "No, no...please.." she managed to get out. That was the closest she had gotten to the past avatars in a long while. Even counting before she had lost them, Aang had only been able to send her some images and broken messages. Never she had been able to communicate or share of their ancient wisdom. What else to expect from a spiritual failure? Was the swamp trying to tell her something? Or simply laughing over her tortured loss? All her feelings, pain she learned how to keep in control, they exploded at once.
After suffering and hardships, Korra had managed to reconnect with Raava as best as she could. She entered the avatar state when in physical danger and she was a proper master of all the elements, the basic foundation of the avatar was there. Harmonic Convergence had confused everyone, but one thing was quite clear: the old avatar cycle had been destroyed. The avatar's lives were now told only in books and statues in roting temples. Their wisdom did not exist in this world anymore, and Korra would never forgive herself for that. It was, after all, her fault even the battle with Vaatu itself.
She kneeled down in the water where she had seen her recent past life, angry for answers. Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing was left of Kyoshi. Korra sighed, holding in a sob. She tried her best not to cry like a confused dumb child, helplessly sitting on mud and water. Another ghostly noise soared through the swamp and this time Korra followed it instantly, no hesitance in her body as she used all of her agility and power in the chase. With a yelp she climbed vines and bended the air below to reach the source of the noise. She found no shadows, no avatars. When she got to the top of a tree branch, far in the distance above, Korra only saw a small spirit:
"You?!" Absolutely nothing was making sense in her mind at this point. With wide eyes, Korra directed her words to the yellow, fluffy spirit, who she had met before also around the same swamp.
"Hi avatar." The leaf spirit just continued to look at her, completely unaware of her questioning tone. Korra struggled for a few seconds trying to choose what to ask first, and how not to sound too rude.
"Can you-... Do you-" she was practically panting now from the adrenaline. "What is happening here?"
"You mean, your avatar connection?" It flew over to her shoulder as in greeting, giving it a little nudge. This leaf spirit was the most friendly Korra had met yet. It usually wanted to help and did a good job at it, but it was so vague and unaware of common human behaviour. Like answering questions properly.
"No, but that's impossible….. Vaatu destroyed all the past avatars when he absorbed Raava."
"They are always a part of you, avatar. The swamp does not understand time, the roots to the earth element brought them to you." The yellow spirit started to lower and float down to the muddy humid ground again, somehow feeling it had explained everything clearly.
"No, hold on!" Korra jumped down too, she followed its pace easily keeping up. "I never heard of a child avatar besides Aang! And what about that armless lady?!"
"Yes, she did die a long long time ago." And it continued gliding through vines, unbothered. Spirits didn't even try to make sense sometimes. Korra continued, resisting the strong urge to kick something along the way.
Suddenly it all stopped, and it was like the swamp gave her advice, an old one no doubt. Was it a warning maybe? She couldn’t tell, her mind was just as foggy as the place around her. Words echoed through her mind, distant, too close to being lost. ‘In the swamp, we see visions of people we’ve lost, folks we think are gone. But the swamp tells us they’re not. We’re still connected to them. Time is an illusion and so is death.’ That boy was also a part of her. Time disconsidered... her future then? Could he be the second avatar of this new cycle? He was in such a bad condition back there, it only made Korra more nervous.
They walked (or flew, in the spirit’s case) a few more meters, further deep into vines. The leaf spirit turned back to look her dead in eye, no hesitance and silent. Korra took it as her cue to ask more, at least for some advice:
"Is it possible to get them back? My…..my past lives?" it had been so long since she had last used this expression, this exact way, with this meaning. Ever since the battle with Vaatu, so many years ago, everyone started avoiding the phrase. Korra herself had stopped referring to the old avatars. She had missed it a lot to be quite honest. A flicker of hope ached in her chest, barely able to keep control.
"It won't be easy, you know. The boy failed when he tried to control the avatar state through it."
"Wha-what do you mean?!? Through what?" Korra tried to stay patient and consider the spirit's words. She waited for an answer as the spirit decided it would be walking from now on. They stepped through a particular big tree root. Korra was actually considered just leaving and forgetting all of this, but she needed some form of a decent answer.
"The one before you. The avatar opened six using meditation, but he failed the last one. I remember well that guru." Now it was apparent the leaf spirit had grown tired of the conversation. It just started floating away, disappearing in the air.
"Wait, wait!" Korra knew he wouldn't be speaking of this anymore, but she had to make sure she could at least ask for help again. This spirit was a reliable and a very kind friend, all things considered. "I never know what to call you." She said with a crooked (and a little sad) smile.
"I'm Tum." He was very far now, his voice light, with a sincere faint laughter. It soared in a way, warming up the strange atmosphere of the swamp.
"And you could start calling me ‘Korra’ by now." He vanished as soon as the last word was spoken.