Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Run, Merlin, run."

"Retrieve the sword, Merlin."

"It is the only way!"

"I'm sorry. I worry about him. Is he…okay?"

She didn't know how things ended up this way.

What she did remember was that she'd been sneaking around the castle, trying to escape after failing to find King Uther, and ended up running into two imprisoned kings. They were awake, of course, and demanding she free them. Merlin had been torn between doing so or trying to convince them that they were better off if she left for "reinforcements" when she realized the chains were magical and needed magic to unlock them.

Arthur had been lost and depressed after having to leave behind his father, after Morgana had taken over Camelot with her sister Morgause. A group of them had managed to escape and hide out in a cave, and she'd only decided to sneak back to the castle to try to either free Uther or find out about his conditions in order to report back to Arthur and hopefully cheer him up.

She'd just had no luck, right up until she decided to leave –and run into King Uther and King Cenred both chained up in a room she'd hid in from a few mercenaries.

"Free me," Uther scowled, though a hint of pain from Morgana's betrayal still lingered in his voice and eyes.

She bit her lip, glancing around. She was there to free him if she could…

"There are no keys," Cenred drawled. "These are magical locks. If Morgause, or some other magic-user, doesn't unlock them, then we're stuck. The serving girl is useless."

Which made Merlin bristle as she "pretended" to examine the locks. She'd already irritably begun to quietly incant when Uther said, "She's surprisingly capable and resourceful –"

In her surprise at his unexpected compliments, she'd looked to them as she finished, revealing the fading gold of her eyes. The chains were unlocked.

"You used magic!" Cenred said pleased, just as Uther's countenance darkened and he lurched forward the second the chains released him. He rammed into her and was about to throttle her neck after they'd hit the floor, when Cenred pulled him off of her hastily.

"Don't be a fool, Uther. She's our way out of here," he said in annoyance.

Uther glared at both of them but stayed away. Merlin winced, feeling the impact of hitting the floor so hard. A hand was held out to her and she looked up to see Cenred was holding it out. She reluctantly accepted it and grabbed hold, being pulled up by her former enemy.

"Where next?" he asked her while Uther stayed silent. His burning glare reminded her he was still there and wouldn't let her forget.

"This way," she muttered, leading the way to where the servants' passages were. She felt anxious at being so close to these two very dangerous men, who now knew she had magic. That wasn't including the fact one was a magic-hating king, while the other was a former enemy who had just been working alongside an enemy sorceress. Leading them around, she hesitated at a split in directions.

"What's wrong?" Cenred asked, seeing as Uther continued to keep silent.

Merlin frowned. "There's an…errand I must do," she remembered Kilgarrah's words. "Arthur and the others are in that direction, just all the way into the woods and nearby in a cave. I'll be going this way." She pointed right. "Go to meet Arthur. I'll be back after I've retrieved what I'm supposed to." She told them and left them without another word.

She had to leave not just the castle, but Camelot itself. "'Retrieve the sword, Merlin,'" she grumbled to herself. "Easier said than done."

Still, soon enough she had reached the end and found herself peeking out, around a door and to the courtyard.

"Anything?"

"No…" she mumbled, confused at the lack of guards. Then she registered the question and whirled around.

There behind her were the two kings.

"What are you two doing here?!" she hissed.

"Following you," Uther finally spoke, still glaring angrily at her. "What is so important you leave us and my son behind?"

Merlin's mouth opened, but she couldn't say anything. How was she going to explain that she was going to go travel out of Camelot, find a lake where she tossed a special sword in, and was going to go retrieve it so they could defeat the undead army?

"I'm going to go get a magic sword?" she said weakly, sounding more like she was saying a question than an answer.

The two men gave her dubious looks and she realized she sounded absurd.

But Kilgharrah told her to get the damn sword, so she was going to get the stupid sword back.

Squaring her shoulders and glaring at them, she pursed her lips and shook her head.

"I'm going to go get a specific sword that was made by magic," she told them defiantly. "It is the only thing that can kill anything, be it mortal or magical, living or undead. You two are going to go meet up with Arthur and make plans on taking back the castle."

Cenred laughed derisively. "Whether or not what you say is true –some sort of magical sword like that wouldn't be unheard of –it doesn't matter. One, I was not Camelot's ally in the first place nor am I just going to listen to a serving girl, no matter how pretty."

"Fine! I don't care," she glared at the dark-haired man. "I did my kind deed of the day and you're free." She turned to Uther, who stared back stoically. She shuffled awkwardly in place. "Sire, please meet with your son."

"No," he said shortly, catching her off guard.

"What?"

"I said no," he repeated with a growl, but didn't elaborate.

Her head was spinning all over the place and she didn't know what to make of this predicament she found herself in.

Damn it, she should've never snuck back into the castle in the first place.

She'd made it with those two across the courtyard before there were any problems. The shouts at seeing them alerted more to their location, and suddenly Merlin was sprinting as fast as she could to get out of the citadel. But she had two followers who'd been imprisoned and weren't exactly in the best of shape, and she couldn't exactly just leave them behind. For one, the two of them had suddenly been released and getting caught and brought back would mean that they would be in for punishment from Morgause and Morgana. And further, given that they'd been released and that the chains had been magically locked, it would raise questions and Merlin could be outed.

Panicked and just a bit freaking out, she did her best to keep track of them and make sure they were just behind her.

"O-over here!" Merlin pointed over to an alley. "Duck in here!"

She went into the alley and a few more seconds passed before she was joined by Uther and Cenred. They took a moment to catch their breaths.

"We have to go into the lower city and then find a way out and past Camelot's walls," she was tempted to leave them once they reached the woods, but they wouldn't know the way to Arthur and would just get caught. Having gone this way around instead of the direction she'd pointed out to them inside the castle meant they'd never make it without getting found.

She took one last deep breath before she looked to them. "Let's go."

Honestly, this was horrible. How'd she get stuck with them and in this situation? Again, they knew she had magic too.

The three of them went slowly, keeping to whatever cover they had. It was incredibly frustrating because of how slow they had to go, and Merlin was much more used to being able to sneak in and out of places when she was alone. She cast a minor illusion to help keep them out of sight but didn't chance something bigger because she didn't know if she could be detected using magic.

When the walls were in sight, she sighed in relief.

"Past the walls, where do we go?" Uther asked, his voice still short and impatient with her.

"We'll have to get as far away from here," she said. "We'll make way to a village and take shelter, probably change your clothes."

Uther grunted, looking unhappy and still watching her with narrowed eyes.

"Will we need to do away with everything?" Cenred asked, looking unhappy as well.

Merlin bit her lip. "Probably. Is there going to be a problem?"

Cenred waved her off, glancing at Uther. "No, no problem. It's just a change of clothing and we have nothing else on us after all, right Uther?"

Uther's lips curled into a sneer.

Merlin eyed the two kings, before she started to lead the way again. Nervous but hopeful, she made it past the walls first –only to scream as a line drawn into the ground surrounding the wall glowed and her body tensed and jerked around in pain, lightning dancing up and down her body as symbols started to appear on her skin. When it was over, she collapsed onto the ground, breathless and her body still twitching in pain.

She passed out right as the other two reached her.

"What happened?" Uther demanded of the other king as they quickly picked her up and dashed away into the nearest cover, worried about being caught after that.

Cenred glanced down at the girl he held. He shrugged briefly. "If I were to guess, some sort of magical binding. Morgause tended to frequently bind the magical powers of sorcerers she'd captured. That looked like a variation of the one she uses, though a little crueller it seemed. We'll have to make do with her passed out. I'll carry her first."

Uther scowled, but didn't protest. The two of them silently continued their journey.

"I'm surprised you didn't go to your son," Cenred said blithely, eying him from the corner of his eyes.

Uther gave him a disgruntled look. "Arthur can take care of himself and has things handled on his end, I'm sure."

Cenred laughed mockingly. "If you're that certain. So what, she can't take care of herself? Worried about the witch?"

"No," Uther said immediately, disgust coloring his tone and face. "I don't trust her and have no idea what she's up to. Of course I'm going to follow her to make sure she's up to no good."

Cenred snorted, watching Uther with an idle smirk. "I believe you," he said, but Uther doubted it.

"Let's just make it to a village or town," Uther gritted his teeth.

Cenred tossed him one more taunting look.

Merlin moaned as she shifted on her back, before she realized that she was in fact on a bed. The past events rushed into her head and she remembered that she had been traveling with the two kings. Eyes shooting wide open, she looked around and noticed only Cenred in the room. Uther was nowhere around.

"Awake now, are you?" he said, watching her blankly.

She swallowed, feeling herself tense.

"Something wrong?" he asked, but there was something off in his tone and the way he was watching her.

It made her inwardly balk and want to dash out of that room.

The feeling intensified as he sauntered over to her and she uncomfortably sat up. To that, he strode quicker towards her and pushed her back down, causing her to panic and try to call up her magic. To her horror, she barely felt it stirring within.

"As I thought," he drawled. "Something back there caused your magic to be bound."

No. No, no! That can't be true.

Merlin tried even harder to call it up, but it felt sluggish and wouldn't move to instinct. She tried a spell instead, but she went through a plethora of them before realizing only minor ones worked. And all the while, Cenred had her pushed down onto the bed, merely watching her in dark amusement.

"Get off me!" she screamed at him, trying not to let her tears fall.

He sneered at her, instead shifting to push her down while he moved over her struggling form.

"Pretty temptress, just like Morgause," he angrily said, a thumb brushing against her lips. "Such soft lips."

"Get. Off. Of her," Uther's voice was deadly and the two of them turned towards the door, having not heard it open.

Cenred laughed. "Oh? Why? You might've been right after all, Uther! Magic is despicable and all users of it are untrustworthy. Just ready to backstab you. I thought you'd be one of the first to hurt her, now that she's practically helpless without her magic."

She could see Uther's jaw clenching and unclenching several times, his normally light green eyes darkened by anger.

"I-I'm not Morgause," she gasped out, tears finally falling from her eyes.

"Remove yourself from this room right now," Uther demanded, hand moving to the sword by his side that they just now noticed. Sometime in the midst of all this, he must've found a sword to use while he'd been outside of the room.

Cenred eyed him and it warily, before slowly getting up and off of her. He pressed his lips into a thin line before his own furious look stole over his face and he glared over at her and then at Uther, before storming out of the room.

Merlin sat up quickly, rubbing her face with her arm roughly. She didn't even notice Uther had come closer until feeling the bed shift at his weight settling on it. Looking at him guardedly but not wanting to show her fear, she waited for him to talk. At the moment, his jaw was clenching again and he was glaring at the door, not looking at her.

"For the duration of this…journey, you will not have any problems with myself. Or him. Until Camelot has been reclaimed, you are…under my protection."

He kept glaring at the door before he finally looked to her, his angry glare softening to a more neutral look at her shaking and scared form.

"You will not be harmed while under my watch," he said softly, continuing to surprise her. "I promise."

Then he stood up and left the room without a backward glance. She exhaled softly before burying her face into her hands.

What had she gotten herself into?

Started 2/13/18 – Completed 2/16/18

Chapter Text

Merlin warily left the room, looking around for her reluctant companions. She saw the two of them locked in a stare off of sorts, and she wondered if she had walked in after some sort of confrontation.

"By the Goddesses," she muttered. "Why am I in this situation?"

Her mutterings brought their attention to her and she felt uncomfortable.

"It's of the morn," Cenred said sharply. "Shall we stay longer or continue our journey? We already paid for the night so that you could recover, but we'd need to pay again for another night."

"No, it's best we get going," Merlin said, not looking at him. "We should get ourselves ready for the journey ahead. Where'd you get money?"

"Uther found some," he shrugged. "Not sure about how or when."

"Never mind that," Uther said stoically. "We have enough for a bag, a change of clothes each, and a few supplies that will help us in our travel. Food, a waterskin, whatever else we might need."

"I'll handle the clothes. She was a servant, so she would know what to retrieve for our supplies, yes?" Cenred said.

"I'll handle supplies and she can handle finding a bag," Uther ignored him, handing him a separate pouch filled with coins. He looked to Merlin suddenly, face still stoic. "Come with me."

She nodded and followed after him, still avoiding Cenred. She actually felt grateful for this and stuck close to Uther, feeling weary and still a bit off kilter from the encounter with Cenred.

"We'll have to procure at least two horses as well," Uther mused aloud. "We will not have enough for three, so you'll have to ride with one of us."

"Can I ride with you?" she asked quickly, voice quiet. "Sire," she added on.

He glanced at her before he nodded. "Very well."

Merlin didn't know why he was acting like this with her, and not continuing to treat her with disdain. She remembered the utter hatred and fury he was in when he found out she had magic. Even before, when she'd just been a servant to him, he hadn't thought much of her –or at least she'd thought so, remembering again his unexpected compliments towards her when she had been in the midst of freeing him and Cenred.

It did make her feel grateful though and she wasn't about to question it to his face. She felt better being around Uther than Cenred at the moment, which was ironic considering how much Uther hated her kind and Cenred was much more used to and hadn't been bothered by magic before. Now she was strangely feeling safer and wanted to be nearer and stick to Uther, than let herself be alone with the other king.

But Uther had promised she wouldn't be harmed and he'd protect her, and she believed him –strange and disbelieving this all was.

"We'll retrieve a bag first," she heard Uther say. "We will need something to pack all our things in. We'll have to limit ourselves, but we can make do. How far away is this…destination of yours?"

"Far enough," she admitted. "We'd need to focus more on supplies. A new single change of clothes and a bag, like you said, should be fine for us. Food we can spare a bit too; there's plenty of game and berries, as well as water, on the way."

"So practical things; things that can help us more easily on our travels," Uther said and she nodded.

For a few moments, things were silent between them. They traveled around the town where the fares were being touted, found a large, sturdy leather satchel they decided on, and began gathering other supplies. They decided against tents but settled on simple bedrolls for all three of them. She didn't miss the curled lip from him at that, but it wasn't like they could afford or deal with carrying around mattresses and pallets for the likes of him and Cenred. He stayed silent at least.

They bought some rope and then looked into getting horses and couldn't find anything, settling on getting medicine and what medical aid that they would need instead. However, that took up the rest of the money they had and they were unable to get anything else. They moved back towards the inn they were currently staying, and Merlin inwardly wondered how far away they'd made it from Camelot.

"Merlin."

She stopped short and blinked.

"Merlin!"

"What is it?" Uther asked her, noticing that she'd stopped and seemed inattentive.

"I think…I think I'm being called on," she said, though she still seemed confused. Could it…could it be Kilgharrah?

"Merlin, you must come to me. Please…I am in need of your help…"

Worry filled her and she silently tried to convey to the dragon that she was coming. Then she hesitantly looked to Uther, who was impatiently waiting for her.

"We'll have to make a detour. I need to…help a friend," she told him.

He looked like he was going to say something about that before he shook his head and began striding ahead of her. She struggled to keep up with his long strides, but soon enough the two of them had reached the inn and went to the room they'd been lent, only to see Cenred already there and lounging on the bed that Merlin had occupied earlier.

"Oh, you two are back," he said indifferently. He gestured imperiously to the clothing dumped onto a chair. "There's your change of clothes. I've already changed into mine."

Merlin looked him over, noticing that he had indeed changed clothes. He wore plain brown breeches and a dark green tunic, the front of it left open with the laces loose and showing his bare chest. To her amazement he'd had his hair cut short.

When she looked to his face again, he was watching her and smirking. She scowled and looked away from him.

Uther went over to the pile and shifted through it, collected another pair of breeches that were of a darker brown and a scarlet tunic. He glanced at her and she quickly turned around, hearing the rustling of clothes.

"I don't see why she has to turn around. Wasn't she your son's maidservant? Shouldn't she be used to dressing him and seeing a man's body? In fact, she should've helped us changed –"

"Just be quiet, Cenred," Uther spat out, just as she angrily turned back. "If you continue to antagonize, we'll just leave you be."

Cenred grumbled. "Fine, be that way. I am just messing with the girl."

Merlin bit her tongue, refusing to rise to the bait Cenred continually kept holding out for her. Uther did glance at her though, hands moving to his shirt, and she blushed heavily.

"D-do you want me to leave the room?" she asked him and he shook his head. "Just turn around," he replied, which she did so again.

"I'm finished," Uther said. She felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned to see him holding out clothes. "These are yours, I presume."

She took them and looked them over. She was thankful that Cenred got her a pair of breeches as well, which would prove easier to move and travel in than a dress, and also an off-white tunic. She glanced at them and saw them looking away, but they hadn't turned away all the way. She nibbled on her lip and watched them, and after a while of them still looking away, she decided to just get on with it. She took off her dirty and ripped shirt and replaced it with the tunic that was surprisingly not too loose or tight. The breeches, on the other hand, were clingy on her. While it wasn't tight enough to be uncomfortable or painful, it was still obviously fitted to her form.

"All set?" she heard Cenred ask and she looked to him to see him watching her, and she scowled back at him. She refused to even think about him having a look, but the thought did briefly cross her mind.

"Where are we going?" Uther asked her.

"A little ways from here," she said, hearing Kilgharrah whisper into her mind and even show her the place for a moment. "He'll be there waiting."

"He?" Cenred asked, not knowing of the slight change in plans.

"We're heading to meet with a friend of mine," Merlin told him irritably, still offset by the King of Essetir. "He needs my help."

"Wait a second," Cenred gritted his teeth. "Who said we'd agree to this change? Who's your friend and why the hell do we have to help him? This is a bit inconvenient, you know! And not as important as what we set out to do."

"It's very important," Merlin snapped at him. "And King Uther said nothing against it when I told him."

"Telling everything to your magic-hating king, are you?" Cenred sneered.

Merlin opened her mouth to retort when she felt a large hand clasp onto her shoulder and she looked to see Uther giving her a neutral look. Uther looked to Cenred then.

"It's not out of the way. It'll be done quickly, I assume, and won't interfere with our original plans. Let it be done and we can move on."

Though Cenred continued to grumble, he didn't say anymore on it, which Merlin was relieved of. Though still wary about this cooperative and reasonable Uther (she wouldn't be so surprised if he was being confronted with anything not magic, but seeing as this was all a magic situation…), Merlin helped to settle their things into the new satchel and then they left the room together.

She could only hope their travels weren't to last long.

They left the small town and continued their trek on a small road. Cenred glared about himself, feeling his usual bitterness and resentment swirling around inside of him. A few quick glances at the new sorceress in his life made his scowl deepen.

Such a coy, coy smile on those pretty lips. They dragged up his neck, surprising him. Morgause was usually never this physical with him, always an arm's length away and always someone he could never touch but wanted so, so much. She liked him, he knew. Bantered with him easily and stayed by his side when she chose to stay in one place.

A sharp fingernail dragged from his chest, up his neck, and to his own lips.

"Cenred…there's something I'd like you to do for me."

In the present, Cenred dug his nails into his skin, trying not to recall any more memories of that traitorous witch. He had been just a pawn to her all this time. Morgause had never cared for him, like he'd foolishly led himself to believe and had even reciprocated.

He wasn't in love with Morgause, but he cared for her, liked her even, and had been attracted to her. He could have fallen in love with her.

Anger rose in him again, but he stamped it down. He looked again to Merlin, the servant girl who had freed him with Uther. She was…she was nothing like Morgause. Whereas Morgause was confident and liked to show it and flaunt her beauty and power –this girl was clearly the opposite. She had a quiet strength about her but was nowhere arrogant or showy. She was beautiful in a way Morgause couldn't compare, in an otherworldly and almost fae-like way. She was, at times, clumsy and unsure of herself, something Morgause would never be like or even be capable of; she would abhor showing such vulnerability or weakness to anyone.

Merlin…as much as he wanted to persecute her for her magic because Morgause was a sorceress as well, the two weren't alike in any way.

"I-I'm not Morgause."

No…no, she most definitely was not.

But right now, Cenred was too full of anger, hurt he didn't want to acknowledge, and betrayal to care.

Cenred took a deep breath and let his eyes trail between Merlin and his fellow king, and his thoughts went to a slightly different track. There was something he couldn't put his finger on. He knew, just like the girl, that Uther hated magic with a vehemence. His behavior now, to her, was surprising. He should be spitting imaginary fire at the fact she had magic, acting like he had when he first found out and had attempted to kill her himself. But here was Uther now, strangely acting the exact opposite.

Oh, Cenred knew Uther was still upset and wasn't at all okay with the situation and the girl. But he was tolerating her. When it came to magic, Uther was anything but tolerant, no matter what it was. He became blind and unable to be reasoned with.

Yet, Uther was not threatening to kill her, much less attempting it. There was something much more to it here.

He just had to figure out what.

Uther navigated the rough road with Merlin, knowing Cenred was behind them. He wasn't comfortable having the man at their backs, but he was confident enough in that he was preoccupied and in no mood to attack them. Probably still nursing his anger over the betrayal of that tart of a sorceress he had been around with before.

He gave a side glance to the sorceress he had by his side and reminded himself to keep a level head.

A sorceress. His son's maidservant, who he had personally appointed to him, had been a magic-user all this time. It galled him, especially with how much Arthur and he had trusted her. Though he tended to dismiss and look over her, mostly in front of others, he personally had been glad for her service. She'd been so loyal to his family, even to a fault (though he would not admit that, because service to his family was more than important). She'd risked life and limb for his family over and over, and she had no qualms talking to them as an equal. Something he had problems with and didn't approve of…but he also could admit was something that had eased them over the years and made them be able to relax for once. The role of a royal was not as easy as one could think, and the stresses always weighed heavily. Merlin had, he reluctantly admitted, helped.

But she was a sorceress.

He felt betrayed and angry. This girl, this servant had had so much favors from himself and Arthur; had been treated differently than normal servants. She'd taken advantage of them! But…

Scared and trembling, tears clinging to long lashes and looking so, so small after that coarse attack on her from Cenred…The girl had looked so helpless then and he could not find himself wanting to hurt her, not after Cenred himself had attacked her and in that manner. Especially remembering her unwavering loyalty and kindness towards his family.

So he had said what he did to her, letting promises of protection escape his lips towards this sorceress he had meant to execute after all this.

Cenred had accused him of having a soft spot for her. He wouldn't admit to anyone, but that was true. He'd always had a soft spot for Merlin after years of dedication and kind smiles and soft looks…

Running across her had always been his favorite parts of his days, more so as his relationships with his son and his daughter crumbled the more Arthur and Morgana grew older and drew away from him. Bereft of them, he hadn't noticed how much he'd begun to rely and depend on Merlin more until it was too late.

Now she had magic and he was too attached.

He breathed harshly through his nose, trying to not clench his hands again. It was no good showing his agitation and he had to keep his head cool and thinking. The situation he was in required her and even that damnable Cenred, and if he was honest, he would trust her to have his back over the other king. The other was no friend to Camelot or him, and at least she had seemed to be loyal.

Even now she's inching towards him, wary and traveling light on her feet. The satchel is firmly placed on her back and she's looking around carefully, watching for danger. He wondered if this was something she'd always done, why Arthur was always safe and mostly unharmed even after the most dangerous of situations. She'd watched over Arthur for the longest time, with a vigilant eye. The same as she's done for Camelot and even for himself, he realized.

But her hand reaching out and gripping onto his sleeve almost made him recoil from her, only to keep still and act normal as he saw that she was still trembling and looking back behind her at the other man trailing behind them.

He hated magic and her kind, and yet here she was still seeking refuge with him.

Forcing himself to relax his arm, it lay lax until he pulled it away and then moved to grab her hand before she could react to him pulling away. Instead though, her opened mouth went slack, and her eyes widened as she stared at him. He continued to look forward and not acknowledge her. After a moment, she ducked her head and continued on as well, though her grip in his hand tightened.

"How much farther?" Cenred asked from behind, voice irritable.

Uther looked to the sorceress beside him, who was biting her lip.

"Um…not much farther, I think. He said –"

Just as he was wondering how she was communicating with whoever it was that had asked for help (and obviously she was, for how else would she know what whoever it was wanted and was saying), as well as wondering who it could be, they reached a clearing and a huge gust of wind hit from overhead and they ducked and covered their heads. When the gusts of wind stopped, they straightened up again and Uther immediately let go of Merlin's hand and backed away a few steps, warily watching the familiar dragon that had landed not too far away from them.

"Kilgharrah!" the girl called out and quickly jogged over to it.

He. The 'he' she was talking about was this great beast he had once held captive under the castle.

"Bloody hell, it's a fucking dragon," he heard Cenred exclaim. Turning behind him, he saw the other staring with a shocked look on his face. And then he heard a strange exchange of hissing and distorted sounds, and he incredulously turned back to see that the girl and the dragon were talking in what he presumed to be some draconian language. He glanced back at Cenred and saw him watching, shock turning into awe as he watched the exchange along with Uther.

"Uther, are you seeing what I'm seeing? Because what I'm seeing is that that girl is somehow talking to and has tamed that great beast," Cenred whispered to him.

Uther let out a grunt, lips barely curling. He knew what this was, what she was.

So along with having magic, Merlin was somehow a Dragonlord as well.

Merlin stroked Kilgharrah's head, hearing him pant heavily from some injury she couldn't yet see. He was very hurt, she knew, and she was doing her best to calm and help him.

"What happened?" she asked him, feeling worried all over again, more so now that she could see him.

Kilgharrah let out an exhale. "I fought against another dragon. Older and more powerful."

Her eyes went wide at that admission. "What? I thought there weren't others!"

"I was mistaken," Kilgharrah said dryly. He glanced around her, eying the two men hovering back. "So you have Uther Pendragon and Cenred Essetir accompanying you."

Uther she knew her dragon companion knew, but she assumed that he knew of Cenred somehow.

"I freed them from the castle and we ended up stuck together traveling," she told him.

"'Tis no matter," he said, though he still eyed them with dislike. "Uther Pendragon! Cenred Essetir! Approach cautiously," he roared at them and Merlin flinched. Oh, this was probably not going to go well.

She watched the two kings walk slowly closer, one with a sneer and an aggravated look while the other was awed and slightly terrified. It was obvious Uther recognized Kilgharrah and she hoped that wouldn't cause problems. At least Cenred was keeping silent.

"So, Great Dragon, this is where you've run off to after attacking Camelot," Uther snarled and Merlin wanted to bury her face into her hands and pretend this confrontation wasn't happening.

"Watch your tongue, Uther Pendragon, or I shall roast your human flesh," Kilgharrah warned angrily.

Before Uther could interrupt, Merlin cut in irritably. "Kilgharrah!" she snapped at the dragon. "Cut it out! Tell me what's the matter. You told me I was supposed to go after Excalibur."

Kilgharrah made an unhappy noise before he laid flat and shivered a bit.

"I require your assistance in healing," he said tiredly. "I am…not well, as you can see," and she did see. That older dragon hurt Kilgharrah horribly, though she was surprised he was asking her for help in this. "I also believe there is a mission more important that you must see to."

Now that took her aback. At the moment, she was speaking with Kilgharrah normally, so Uther and Cenred were following the conversation easily. Earlier, in her concern, she'd slipped into the draconian language and had questioned him over his health, but now she was slightly calmer and realizing maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to speak in a language neither kings understood (and where one of them would probably be unhappy to hear anyway).

"The dragon I fought," Kilgharrah started and she saw Uther startle while Cenred looked shocked again (exclaiming "There are more?"). "You know him. I've spoken of him to you before. He is Tragu -Smaug the Tremendous."

Merlin sucked in a huge breath. She'd heard of him and stories of him, most of them from Kilgharrah.

"You must convince him to join our side. Now that he's shown his presence in these parts, he cannot be allowed to roam on his own." In his language, he said, "He is chaos. He chooses no side but his own. However, you are a Dragonlord and you yourself are very persuasive and likable. And as chaos, he is not true good or evil. But that also means he can just as easily choose to side with your enemy if you do not succeed in finding him and having him side with you. And even if he is on his own…"

"Chaos is chaos," Merlin muttered. It wouldn't do to just leave him be, causing death and destruction as he pleased.

She switched tracks, not wanting to think of the impossible task ahead of her. "My magic's been bound. I cannot do much magic. I don't think I can heal you," she said miserably. "Is there no way to undo my bindings?"

Kilgharrah grunted before peering closely at her. "Your magic's been bound, yes, but you seem capable of some things. Try healing me."

Merlin nodded and touched Kilgharrah's snout. She closed her eyes and concentrated, unaware she was starting to glow slightly gold as she chanted quietly. The gold glow spread from her to over the dragon and it took a few moments longer until she was done.

Kilgharrah opened his eyes and stretched, letting his great wings unfurl and flap out. His neck bent back and his head snapped back, his tail swinging. With one last stretch and sigh, he then turned back to Merlin.

"As for your magic, there is nothing either you or I can do," he said to her disappointment. "I assume you unleashing your magic may forcibly break your bonds, but that would take too much out of you and make you is not something you can force yourself to do either anyway. Seek for answers to your problem during your journey. I believe you will find them and you'll be back to normal soon enough. Now…I must go. There is something I must check on."

This time, speaking normally, Kilgharrah addressed her one last time.

"We are kin, Merlin. Do not forget that."

Kilgharrah nuzzled her face before readying himself for flight, taking off a moment later.

"Holy crap, that was a dragon," she heard Cenred say.

"Shut up," Uther snapped at him.

She ran a hand down her face. She had a long, long journey ahead of her, more so given she was stuck with these two.

Started 2/20/18 – Completed 2/26/18

Chapter Text

Her magic was bound, she was sent on this crazy and probably long journey to retrieve a magical sword and face the infamous of dragons, and she was stuck with two royally annoying royals.

Merlin was sure that somehow The Goddesses were laughing at her. If not them, then any other gods above were having a laugh at her. She wouldn't be surprised if the Seven Who Are One was being entertained by this mess.

"How far are we to the next town?" Cenred asked her and Uther.

"I don't know," she said, shoulders slumped.

He huffed. "Useless."

She glowered at him as Uther spoke up neutrally. "We should be coming up on one soon."

She couldn't figure that out, but was glad Uther seemed to think so. She was ready to get off her feet.

"So…" Cenred sidled up to her, quickly drawing Uther's attention and gaze. Merlin herself was watching cautiously. "Dragon?"

Merlin scuffed her boots. "My father was a Dragonlord. He died and his powers passed onto me. I've known Kilgharrah since the beginning of my stay in Camelot, after I'd stumbled across him underneath the castle."

"Since when had your father allowed you to know about him being a Dragonlord and training you as one?" Uther asked sharply.

Merlin, if it was possible, grew even more depressed as she remembered the time. "He didn't really teach me. I didn't even know him until I met him near the end of my second year at Camelot. I was looking for a Dragonlord to save Camelot and found my father instead. And then he died practically hours later and tells me he's a Dragonlord and his powers are now mine."

Honestly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to be angry, resentful, or resigned to the whole thing. She was just really, really tired.

Hurrying ahead of them, she ducked her head and focused on walking. Soon enough, they'd find the town and then she could just hide away from them somehow. At least just for a little while…

They found a room and had set up in it. While the other two went out to find more supplies they would need for a longer journey, she stayed in the room and thought about what to do next. After a while, she drifted into a deep sleep, unnoticing when the door opened several times and the two men came in and out, putting things they found and thought they'd need into the room. She was glanced at but left alone, letting her be undisturbed while they busied themselves.

When she awoke, it was in the night and she was surprised to find both Uther and Cenred sleeping in chairs on opposite sides of the room, across from her. Deciding she'd look through what they'd gotten, she saw two more satchels had been added and three cloaks. That should do for them for now, but a few more things wouldn't hurt…

Thinking that a few more hours of sleep could help, she settled herself back down, eyelids growing heavy as she gazed at the sleeping men and fell asleep to the sight of them.

The next morning dawned quickly enough, however. Uther was gone, but Cenred was still there and asleep. Looking around at the new things that had been gotten, Merlin gathered them closer. She was quickly packing the bags, contemplating once again on ditching the two kings. They were more trouble than they were worth.

"Are we in a rush?" Cenred drawled and she nearly jumped, whirling around to see he was awake now.

"I'm packing our things," she snapped at him, still wary of him after what he'd tried to do.

He held up his hands. "Still angry at me, are you?" he smirked darkly, continuing to walk her way.

She tensed up. He noticed immediately and barked out a laugh. "So you would follow Uther and stick by him, despite how vehemently he hates you and your kind…hates the very thing you were born with."

Merlin refused to say anything, glaring back defiantly. He towered over her now, too close to her for comfort. She could still remember how he'd pushed and held her down. But he took a step back and shook his head.

"But Uther was right. I shouldn't have…done that," he grimaced. But a bitter look stole over his face. "I'm furious at Morgause, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Do you…do you think he's right about magic?" she asked hesitantly.

His jaw clenched. "After Morgause, part of me wants to scream yes." He scoffed as he looked her over. "I'm still fresh from her betrayal, but…you give some hope to your kind."

Merlin doubted it. It was upsetting though –every time, it seemed, a powerful sorceress managed to gain the trust of royalty, it always felt like it led to betrayal. First Nimueh with Uther and Ygraine, now with Cenred and Morgause. And more and more, Morgana had turned her back on Uther and Arthur. How could magic and magic-users ever be trusted again?

"Problems?" Uther's cool voice interrupted them, which Merlin was thankful for. Even though Cenred had apologized and explained, it didn't make what had happened any less traumatizing and hard to forget.

"None," Cenred smiled insincerely. "Just a talk. Nothing more." He gave her one more look before leaving.

Uther eyed his exit with disdain before looking to her. "Did he bother you?"

"No," she said quietly. "He apologized…for that time. Said you were right that he shouldn't have done that," she added, watching his face for a reaction.

He simply hmmed. "He shouldn't have. Witch or not…you are not only –as he said –our way out of this mess, but also a woman, who is also helpless at the moment."

She didn't know what to say to that. A part of her wanted to ask angrily about the women and children back in the Great Purge, but she kept quiet. Another part of her wondered if it was more to do with her being his only hope to save Camelot and his son right now. And currently the only one he could rely on, considering his only other choice was Cenred. She didn't know if it was strange or relieving the thought he'd rather trust her than the other king, despite her magic.

"Do you know our direction?" he asked and she grimaced.

"Not exactly," she reluctantly said. "We'll get Excalibur first, but after we'll have to rely on old maps and whatever directions Kilgharrah can give me telepathically."

Uther pursed his lips. "It's not…"

"Good enough," she finished. "I know. But it's all we have."

He let out an aggravated sigh. "If we are successful, we'll have two dragons on our side?"

"If we're successful," Merlin said hysterically. "But this is Smaug the Terrible. The Dragon Dread –The Chiefiest and Greatest of Calamities."

He raised an eyebrow at the names and how many of them, but he looked uneasy as well. "Yet you're a Dragonlord. The last in existence. It'll be fine, yes?"

No. Hell no. If it came down to it, she wasn't sure at all that she could handle Smaug.

"I don't know," she admitted to him. "He's older than even Kilgharrah, and Kilgharrah's really old already. I haven't really been a Dragonlord for very long either. If it comes down to it, I'm not sure I can really do much against him."

Uther grimaced. "Can't we stay away or leave him alone?"

"Kilgharrah says there's no guarantee he won't join the other side or just be a chaotic force on his own."

"Then I suppose we have no choice. I'm going to guess it'll be a long journey."

"Probably," she shrugged. "We might need to find a way to get more money and invest in provisions. Maybe at least one tent."

"Do we know exactly how long it'll take at least?" he frowned, trying to estimate their time.

She hesitated. "No."

"But you think it'll be long," he guessed in reiteration. At her nod, he sighed. "So a year we can guess at."

He didn't sound so enthuse, not that Merlin could blame him. She felt the same.

This was a problem. Uther knew they'd have a long journey ahead of them, and that was just for the sword. But now they had this additional issue and their time and distance were indefinitely lengthened. He was irritable, but as he looked to Merlin, he relaxed himself. She looked clearly panicked and terrified, and he didn't need to add to it. He needed her to be calm and sure, ready to defeat this…Smaug. He hadn't known there were still more dragons out there, especially one as dangerous as this one sounded. He thought he'd gotten rid of them all, except for the Great Dragon he'd once held captive –and whom he'd thought was the most powerful and oldest of them all. Clearly, he was wrong on all accounts.

"Merlin, come with me," he said, mind racing.

"Where are we going, Sire?" she asked.

"Don't call me that anymore," he said. "We are not to be noticed. Simply call me Uther and Cenred by name. We cannot afford to be caught. I am sure that witch," he spat out, "probably has her spies."

"Should we not trade in our names entirely then?" she asked worriedly.

He tried not to grimace. "It's a good idea. But just until we're far enough and when we are around civilization." Uther thought about it. "My brother in law's name was Tristan. Call me that," she looked like she remembered the Black Knight from some years ago.

"Freya," she blurted out. At his questioning look, she answered morosely. "I knew a man named Freyan once."

He didn't question her further. "Let's meet up with Cenred and leave," Uther said. "And then we need to get you outfitted with a weapon to use so you won't be defenseless. If you're defenseless without your magic, then you need something to substitute in the meantime."

"M-most of what I did before were just simple stuff," she hesitantly confessed to him. "I couldn't do much when I was in front of Arthur and the others."

"And when you weren't?" he hazarded a guess. At her silence, part of him started wondering just how powerful she was. "Neither you nor Arthur probably know of her, but I wonder if Nimueh is still skulking about," he asked in changing the subject, trying not to sound so furious at saying that woman's name. "Last I heard of her was in your first year at Camelot, during that time of the wraith. Then she'd disappeared."

"I killed her," she whispered.

He stopped short, completely shocked. He stared at her, unsure what to make of that.

Merlin continued, face uncharacteristically deadly serious but calm, as her voice was quiet. She looked him straight in the face.

"She was a threat that had to be taken cared of," Merlin said. "So I took care of her."

The girl bit her lip, looking down for a moment. When she looked back up again, she avoided looking at Uther.

"There is very little I can't or won't do for Camelot," she declared softly. "For Arthur," she said firmly.

She looked him in the eye before uncomfortably glancing away and then walking past him and out of the room.

Uther stared at the door, eyebrows furrowing. He admitted that had taken him aback and he was torn between being extraordinarily glad for her continued loyalty and devotion (and mostly for the fact that, despite being a traitorous sorceress, she did seem sincere about how much she cared and seemed so loyal after all), and also still angry at her betrayal and the fact she was a magic-user.

But what stood out was the fact that Nimueh, someone he had once known personally and knew was powerful, had been beaten and even killed by this young sorceress he was now traveling with.

It now plagued him on wondering just how powerful this servant girl was, and he reluctantly was curious about how many other instances had she actually helped saved Camelot…and his family.

And what were those circumstances.

Merlin didn't know what compelled her to say all of that to Uther, but she did know that she was homesick. She missed Camelot a lot, especially Arthur and the others. Even when she was away from Camelot, she still felt at home and like a piece of Camelot was still with her, when she was around Arthur and the knights. Right now, as she traveled with Uther and Cenred, it didn't feel like home.

She felt lost and adrift, and without her magic it felt worse and like she was on her own. Even when she felt like she was on her own, Arthur's presence and comradery, Gaius' love and support, and even the other knights' friendships had bolstered her and were what made her keep going on. For them. It was always for them. So if she had to go on alone, she always had them on her mind and heart.

It should still be like that, except it wasn't. Somehow she felt even more isolated than usual, and she felt so cold and alone right then.

Maybe because she had the likes of Uther and Cenred with her, and it was harder than normal to keep up a fighting spirit when the ones she was with weren't exactly supportive or even liked her the least bit.

Though far away, she should try to keep Arthur and the others in mind. Gwaine would probably be insisting that she was being too gloomy right now and it wasn't fitting on her at all.

Yet, just thinking about them made her homesick…

"I want to go home," she choked out, feeling her eyes tear up. "I want to go home. I want to go home." And soon enough, she'd found herself saying that over and over, sliding against a wall and sitting on the floor.

She was alone. She had always been alone in her duty, but now she felt the loneliness more than ever –when she was feeling overwhelmed and the feeling of being alone making her even more overwhelmed. And what with her having to face an ancient dragon; being away from her friends, Gaius, Arthur; not knowing what the future held and if she could defeat either Smaug or Morgause and Morgana; not knowing if she could save Camelot this time or how she could at all…

And then she was stuck with two kings who hated her.

"I want to go home."

Started 2/26/18 – Completed 3/1/18

Chapter Text

The soft crying he managed to hear outside the room's door was what disturbed him from his perturbed thoughts, and he quietly opened the door to look out and find the very female he'd been thinking about crying against the wall and saying over and over again how she wanted to go 'home'.

He stood frozen by the door.

He hated magic and he hated her kind –he wanted to hate her. But looking at her now, he was having a hard time doing so. It made him angry with himself and with her, but more than that Uther was finding that he couldn't help letting go of the door and walking towards her, reaching out a hand to place it on her head. It startled her, he could see, as she looked up and her watery eyes looked at him.

Uther took a deep breath, feeling at war with himself. But then she sniffled and looked at him in the most miserable way.

"Don't be too troubled," he found himself saying. "Even if you are with the likes of Cenred and me, you need not feel like you are alone," which he could see had been troubling her, with her jolting slightly at his words. "For better or worse, the three of us are stuck with each other and will be for who knows how long. We might as well try to get along and focus on our mission together. You are in charge. We are your support. If you need us, we will be there."

And his mind betrayed him as he was unable to stop recalling how she'd held him in the courtyard as he thought his son was dying from the Questing Beast's bite, or the time that she had spoken wise and comforting words before he went to face Tristan's wraith, or even the time Gaius had spoken to him and said the truth about how she was the one who'd saved him from that burned sorcerer.

His mind was whirling and whirling with memories of the past that had somehow always included her, and when she full out started to really cry, his body was moving on its own as he knelt and pulled her into an embrace and let her cry into his shoulder.

Uther was straining to hate her and yet confoundingly found himself fighting against hating her.

She kept repeating it like a mantra because she desperately wanted to be home and wanted it to be like it was in the beginning –before everything became screwed up, and when Morgana was still in Camelot and part of the family.

But the truth was Morgana wasn't and she hated them all, and there was no way that Merlin could convince her to go against Morgause.

She cried like she was hoping her tears would wash everything away. Instead, she felt a hand on her head and it surprised her. When she looked up, seeing Uther there was a far cry from what she was expecting to see. A myriad of emotions was crossing his face until he was scowling heavily and yet looked resigned. But what he said to her made her completely shocked and amazed. It was like he'd read her mind and knew that she was feeling alone and on her own, and somehow or other was letting her know that she wasn't.

That he and Cenred were pretty much there for her because the three of them were more or less the only ones they could rely on in these circumstances. She didn't expect that, especially from him. She didn't expect any support or help from Uther, who she had thought would hate her and spew vile words and looks at her the entire time, even if he would keep her safe (which honestly she thought meant only against Cenred).

It just felt too much again and without warning made her cry more, and suddenly he was kneeling in front of her and holding her and her tears just kept pouring, even as she started to cry into his shoulder. It was both embarrassing and shocking, because this was King Uther and he was supposed to hate her.

She felt a different kind of lost and it was because of him.

Merlin felt him gently tug her up and she was following him up when he helped her stand, his grip on her firm but still gentle. She was unsure what Uther was thinking or what he was really trying to do, but at the moment she didn't really care. Whatever comfort she was getting, she'd accept. She was nowhere near prepared for this and she was grateful to have what support she could get.

"Come," he murmured to her. "Let us have breakfast."

She nodded in distraction (though she continued to feel odd about his strange softness with her) and allowed him to lead her downstairs to the tavern, where they caught sight of Cenred at a table. He looked like a mix of morose and irritation, but they walked over to him anyway.

"Have you dined yet?" Uther asked him when the other king saw them.

"Not yet," Cenred answered. He held up his mug. "Just having a pint. The two of you have come to eat?"

"It's breakfast," Uther nodded, taking a seat. Merlin quietly echoed him. "We will break fast and then continue our travels. Perhaps we can find two horses on a good sale in this town before we move on."

"At least a tent," Merlin cut in, earning their attention. "We won't be able to go through another town after this one, so a tent would be good to have once we start camping out."

"Makes sense," Cenred said, watching her closely and making her feel uncomfortable and wanting to fidget. "Say, about this…Smaug. What is his story? Why is he such a big deal?"

Merlin grimaced. "Smaug is a firedrake from long, long ago –before probably Kilgharrah was born and he has been alive for thousands of years now. That would make Smaug very old. So long ago, the story goes that he flew in from the north and burned the old city of Dale to ashes. He headed to the mountainous Dwarrow kingdom of Erebor, where Thror –King Under the Mountain at the time –ruled over the Dwarvish people. After turning Dale into ruins, he attacked Erebor and drove the Dwarves from the mountain, leaving them without a home and having what was theirs stolen from them. Smaug became 'The King Under the Mountain', and made the mountain into his home, settling down and watching over his hoard. And as they say about dragons and their hoard, it was a lost cause for Erebor because a dragon will guard his plunder for as long as he lives."

Cenred grimaced. "Sounds like a lovely fellow. Is he at this Erebor?"

Merlin shook her head. "No. Who knows where Erebor is now anyway? Far as we're concerned, the current lands we live on now were what was used to be the lands of old, what was once called 'Middle-Earth'. Well, that's what Kilgharrah tells me. In any case, like I said, Smaug probably isn't at Erebor, or what it is now. The tale continues on to say that many years later, Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, went with a company of 14 to reclaim Erebor. After a long journey, they made it to the mountain and confronted Smaug. They angered him and he attacked what was known as Laketown, where a bowman, a descendent of another bowman who had injured Smaug in the battle of Dale, used one of the iron arrows his ancestor used and successfully shot down Smaug. That's why Kilgharrah and I are so surprised and worried –he's supposed to be dead."

"And yet he's somehow still alive after all these years, and a potential to be a disaster for all involved," Uther concluded.

Merlin sighed. "If he does not pick a side, he will be a terrifying, disturbing force on his own. No matter what, he should not be left to his own devices."

"You're a Dragonlord," Cenred said bluntly. "Should this not be an easy task for you?"

She wanted to laugh hysterically. She had literally just had this same conversation with Uther not too long ago.

"I'm not an experienced Dragonlord," she told him, reminding him again. "My father was a fugitive. I'd never met or knew anything about him until I met him face to face, and he was killed not too long after. I hadn't known anything about Dragonlords beforehand and didn't know I had the power until he was dying and told me it would be passing onto me."

"How good are you at magic? How long have you been practicing? Five? Six years?" Cenred asked, looking at her in scrutiny.

Merlin fidgeted. "I was born with magic," she admitted, gaining shocked looks from the other two. "I could do magic since I was a babe."

There was silence for a moment before Cenred cleared his throat. "So then, even without practice or much experience, it sounds like you'd be able to do much of any kind of magic easily, even Dragonlord magic. And with that dragon of yours coaching you, you should be fine, yes?"

"There is also that Smaug is…old. He is from another era entirely –and Smaug was old, even in the olden days. I have no idea how powerful he is, or how he survived his supposed death. I just know that he will not be an easy opponent…or easy to win over."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Uther cut in. "In the meantime," he turned to Cenred, "I believe that she should have some sort of weapon. Given her story, perhaps it'd be fitting to fit her with a bow and maybe a short sword."

Cenred looked at her in examination. "Yes, good call," he muttered. "Depending on her maneuverability and her natural ability, she could even do with two short swords. Long daggers even."

"Did Arthur ever train you?" Uther asked her suddenly and she blinked.

"Not really? I was only ever his 'sparring' partner when he needed one. I am familiar with a bow though. Leon taught me a bit, as did some of the other knights, on occasion when they had time and I wasn't tending to Arthur or helping Gaius."

"Good, good," Cenred traded looks with Uther. "So not much learning of a bow for you. Let's finish eating and then have your weapons settled."

She gave them bemused looks.

In the end, she ended up with a simple bow and a carrier filled with arrows, and they managed to wrangle two horses as well from that town before they left. They had split up between the horses, and as promised, Merlin was riding with Uther. Cenred had merely given them an indifferent look before climbing onto his horse and settling down.

Uther went first before reaching down, to Merlin's surprise, and offering a hand to pull her up. She grabbed on and was pulled up, swinging a leg over and settling on the horse right behind Uther.

"Move your arms around my waist and hold tight," he ordered. "We don't want you to fall, especially if there is a need to have the horses start to gallop quickly."

"Yes, S –Uther," she corrected herself at his sharp look.

Funny. When around others and in her head, she had no trouble addressing him as such. Then again, she had never addressed him so casually in his face, especially when she knew she would get in huge trouble for it. It felt very strange to be allowed to do so now.

So doing as he'd said, her arms reached around him and her hands clasped together. She scooted in more and tried not to let on how uncomfortable she was. And it wasn't even about her being uncomfortable she was having to be seated in that way on a horse and sharing it with another person.

She was uncomfortable with how close she was to Uther; more so as she noticed how her arms were tight around him and she could feel him inhale and exhale with every breath he took, how her breasts pressed against his back and copied the motion of his breathing, or even how her lower half was too close to him.

And yet the longer they continued to rise on, the more she forgot about such things and relaxed, thinking she was focusing on nonsense and that honestly, she was comfortable like this and didn't mind the ride.

Uther couldn't say the same, when he'd also noticed the same things she had.

"You have a soft spot for her, don't you?"

Yes. Yes, he did. And beyond how much he secretly found Arthur's maidservant endearing, he'd also couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was upon their first meeting. And as she grew up and blossomed over the years, the sentiment continued and his thoughts escalated, sometimes edging too much into lust. He'd shut himself down every time.

Uther also knew he wasn't the only one to have noticed her beauty. Even his son noticed, and Arthur felt nothing for Merlin beyond the intense friendship and unexplainable strong bond the two had (he had no doubt that even should Arthur get married, his wife would never be prioritized over his relationship with Merlin and that Arthur's wife would probably be forever jealous and wondering of the two, even if she need not be). Even at times he'd overheard his knights and even the lords and other nobles. Usually at feasts, a stray mention or even hush conversation over her wasn't unheard of.

So having her pressed up against him like this, her body laid nearly flat against him so that he could feel practically every plane and curve of her front…it was maddening. Merlin holding tightly to him, he could not even remember she was a magic-user and summon any anger or hate right then.

Instead, his mind was a mess over this simple situation.

Cenred rode behind them, observing the two and frowning to himself. As what was becoming usual, the sorceress was looking cozy against Uther. Despite her initial awkwardness, she had actually become at ease with riding with Uther and having to be so close to him.

It was baffling and just a bit annoying.

A lot annoying.

Uther, on the other hand, looked ill at ease. His stoic face was on, but Cenred noticed the tic forming at the other's jaw and the tightening of Uther's hands around the leather reins of the horses. Cenred wasn't quite sure what Uther's problem was or why he was uncomfortable, but if being around the sorceress was such a problem, then the man shouldn't have offered to let her ride with him. At least, he guessed that Uther had offered.

It made sense as she automatically had gone to him when Uther had said they would be splitting up, and Uther had said nothing of it. Even if she had just managed to convey wanting to ride with Uther then and Uther deciding to just let it be, it wouldn't change the fact that either way, the two were close together.

Then again, Cenred could understand it was best to stick to the Devil you knew.

Started 3/4/18 – Completed 3/7/18

Chapter Text

She looked up and frowned, feeling uneasy. The sky was darkening and looking to almost be gray, signs of rain showing more and more as time passed. They would need to hurry if they wanted to make sure the tent was up and ready for them to sleep in that night.

"Rain's coming," Cenred squinted up at the sky as well. "We'll need to hurry," he voiced her thoughts aloud.

"I've got everything out. We just need to set it up," Merlin said.

Between the three of them, they began to hurry and set up the tent. Once they were finished, they went inside and found it was a tight fit with all three of them almost squeezing into it. At most, they were able to shove their small packs at the back of the tent and then have barely enough room to lie down side by side. All three of them were disgruntled and silent, not even looking at each other as they tried to get comfortable without touching one another. Stuck between Uther and Cenred, neither of whom were small men, Merlin lay there stiff and quiet, listening to the rain start to splatter against their thankfully well-made tent.

And yet, though she was stuck and squished between them, all three of them lay there flat on their backs and doing their best not to touch each other. And with her being in the middle, it was more like they were refusing to even touch her just the slightest, practically cringing away.

In that cramped tent with the rain pelting away, it was cold and silent, and Merlin felt more alone than ever.

She missed Arthur and the others.

She woke first, shimmying out of the tent and awkwardly standing up. The ground was wet and she was sure any wood she'd find would be soggy, but she would do her best to get them dry with whatever magic she could conjure up. Hunting down the least wet wood around, she remade the campfire and began trying to get them dryer before she would attempt to light it up. It took her a few minutes, but she managed. By the time she was done with that and was getting started on cooking, the other two were waking and grumpily getting out of the tent.

"Morning," she greeted them quietly.

Uther paused before pursing his lips and nodding towards her. Cenred yawned and tiredly made his way to her side, sitting down on the same log.

"Good morning," he mumbled, staring into the fire. "I take it we're having leftover rabbit for breakfast?"

"Yes," she stirred the pot. "I made a stew though."

"Smells good," Cenred said, oddly talkative to her that morning. "You were from Ealdor, yes?"

"That's…right," she hesitantly answered.

"One of my border villages, hm," he said thoughtfully. "What brought you to Camelot and not my citadel? The prospects for you would've been more or less the same. Camelot is also more known for its stricter outlook and no-abidance of magic, which would've been deadlier for you."

"I went specifically to Camelot because my uncle was there," she said. "Gaius is the Court Physician and my mother's older brother, and she wanted me to go to him for guidance and to help me with my magic."

Cenred frowned while Uther stayed quiet. But he was watching her intently, which made Merlin uncomfortable.

"Would you have gone to Essetir otherwise, if your uncle wasn't in Camelot?" Cenred asked and that took her aback.

"I-I don't know," she stuttered in her surprise at the unexpected inquiry. Would she have? Maybe she wouldn't have, if only because of Will and what happened to his father. Then again, maybe she would have if she needed to make a better life for herself and earn more coin for her mother, especially since Essetir had been known to be more lenient towards those with magic.

And then he quieted down and for a long moment, it was silent and felt like the night before. Cold and unbearing.

"How was Camelot for you?" Cenred asked after a few bites into their food.

Though again caught off guard by this sudden desire from him to know about her and her life, Merlin shifted in her seat as she thought about what to say. It didn't help that he was disrupting the cold atmosphere she'd been expecting and had resigned herself to.

"It's…eventful," she said, which made her unwittingly smile. "Okay, that's a bit of understatement," she laughed to herself, remembering all the things Camelot had gone through.

"Oh?" Cenred asked curious. "Do tell."

Merlin grew flustered for a second before shrugging. "I got to Camelot and…"

It was a little bit strange relating her first day at Camelot, but she found having a captive audience in Cenred made it a good deal fun and exciting for her to relate it back. Uther was listening closely too, but she tried not to focus on that since he was part of the story as well and she didn't know what to feel about him listening in and learning about what happened in Camelot that he didn't know of.

Cenred laughed at the end of that first day. "So this is how you became a maidservant? Really, Uther? She saves your son's life and you reward her with becoming a servant! And to your prattish son as well!"

"She became part of the royal household and a servant to a prince," Uther said stiffly. "Something not done by someone not of nobility, nor as a poor peasant girl. Someone relatively new to not only the castle household or the citadel, but of the kingdom itself. She's more or less from your kingdom, if you recall. Yet she was able to take on a high position despite all of those facts."

Cenred was still sniggering, but Merlin thought about it. She remembered during her early time in her first year hearing things about that from some of the other servants, but she hadn't paid too much attention to them or what they were saying. She hadn't understood it then either and so ignored it. Gwen had even told her a few times that they were just jealous, she hadn't really gotten what she'd meant.

"So how was it being Arthur's servant? How was your first day working?" Cenred wasn't laughing anymore, but he was still grinning in amusement.

She opened her mouth and suddenly it was as if that once she got started, she couldn't seem to stop. She was enjoying telling her side of the story for the first time since ever, and she couldn't recall ever really being able to do this. Even when it was these two men, Merlin was finally able to tell about her story and what she'd done.

She'd just finished the time with Lancelot when Uther suddenly spoke up.

"Sometime after was when Morgana fell sick," Uther said shortly. "What really happened?"

Merlin felt herself flinch, suddenly wishing she hadn't started talking about her life in Camelot. "T-that is to say…I'm not sure of this, but I'm guessing from what I know of, um, Edwin, was that he probably somehow got one of his beetles near her and it made its way into her ear and into her brain, causing her to become sick as she was. And then guessing that Gaius wouldn't be able to diagnose her because of the beetle, Edwin would be able to sweep in and make himself look good by 'healing' her."

"And so what happened?" Uther pushed.

Merlin didn't know exactly he wanted. Not sure what else to do, she told him almost exactly everything that had happened as she remembered.

"He put a beetle in my head before he died. How was it taken out?" he kept on, being relentless in his questioning and Merlin was tensing up and not wanting to talk anymore.

"Gaius probably did," she said without any telltale hint of a lie. "He must've somehow found a way to take it out, since he was the one who saved your life –"

"That's a lie," Uther cut her off. Cenred was staying quiet at the moment, watching this go on and letting himself be forgotten in the background. "Gaius told me that you saved my life. How did you do it? Why did you do it? I was probably going to die and –"

This time it was Merlin who cut the other off. "I wasn't going to just let you die!" she shouted. When did and why did Gaius even tell Uther that she'd saved his life? "And what do you want me to say? To confess I saved your life with magic? That if I hadn't used magic on you, you would be dead right now? Because that's the truth, Sire! Edwin swore that I was too late and I couldn't save you, but he died and I ended up proving him wrong and saving your life before it was too late."

At that, Merlin turned away from them and stonily focused on her food, which had long gone cold by then.

She had lost any desire in talking.

By luck, they'd somehow stumbled onto a small village. Cenred was sure they'd have to last a little longer without one, but he wasn't going to complain.

He was in a horrid mood anyway.

In the forest, he'd managed to get quite a lot of information on that girl and it was amazing. She hadn't even gotten through half of what he suspected had been what she'd gone through in Camelot, not before that idiot Uther had interrupted and started grilling her on his own. The damn bastard had gotten a little too intense and she'd gotten upset and shut down.

What was worse is what really was upsetting, after hearing what she'd done and the fact she had been so close to him all these years, was that there had been the missed opportunity to have had her. All these years, right under his nose, and she had been there. What would it have been like to have her be the sorceress by his side, despite the fact Morgause was much older and that he'd met the blonde much earlier than Merlin either had been born or probably was still a child at that time.

Perhaps she could've spotted Morgause's treachery much sooner, much as she'd saved Arthur, Uther, and Camelot so many times. Could've saved his kingdom. Could've saved him.

How useful and better for him if Merlin had been his sorceress than Morgause?

If only she could've chosen to have gone to Essetir than to Camelot all those years ago. What would that have been like? How would he and his kingdom be if she had secretly worked to protect Essetir and him with the same steadfastness as she did as a servant of Camelot? Showed the same dedication and loyalty to him and Essetir?

If it had been him, he would not have been as ungrateful to her as the Pendragons. He would have rewarded her and highly regarded her as he had Morgause.

The ale in his hands swished around in its mug and he gritted his teeth as he stared into it.

Damn it all to hell.

This was unfair. And as the flashes of Morgause and her wicked smile crossed through his mind, every fleeting touch, all the times she'd knowingly manipulated him and he had either had not known or had gone along with it –the more angrier he got and the more he wanted to just do something to get rid of the rage building up in him.

Someone accidentally bumped into him.

He got up slowly and looked to see who it was. Some drunkard laughing with his friends and having the nerve to not even apologize. Cenred threw his mug, full of ale (well he was drunk and this was probably his seventh round), straight at the idiot who'd dared. It hit him straight on.

Honestly, it became a blur after that. He remembered slurring out a challenge and fighting the other and his friends, ending up brawling with them in the tavern gracelessly. At some point, after knocking most of them out, one of Cenred's arms got broken and he was howling. After that, he just threw himself at them like an animal.

The tavern was empty and he'd beaten the others senseless, winning the fight but obviously too drunk and now adding in the pain of a broken arm to care. At that point, Merlin ran over to him with Uther behind. She'd helped him up, but he hadn't even noticed that he'd fallen onto the floor. She gently grabbed hold of his broken arm and he hissed at the contact, wanting to pull it away.

"It's broken…right here," he heard her murmur, her hands at a direct spot on his arm. She began muttering something in a moment and he watched in awe as his arm started to heal before his eyes.

The pain disappeared, just as he sobered up and his arm was mending back to normal.

God, he wished he'd been able to have snatched her up from Camelot and the Pendragons.

Started 4/7/`8 – Completed 4/14/18

Chapter Text

Merlin started to bite her lip, standing up and backing away from Cenred. The other was still staring at her, awe and something else she couldn't figure out lingered on his face. She couldn't even look at Uther. She didn't know what his reaction would be. He'd seen her use her magic to help heal Kilgharrah but having a dragon to help defuse a situation made it manageable. Either they were too wary (or in shock and awe in Cenred's case) of the dragon, or simply having a dragon there to take the main focus off of her and her magic helped move things along in that instance.

There was nothing else here but Merlin herself.

She cleared her throat and backed away quickly. "I have a feeling we should probably be on our way by now. We might not be so welcome here after…all that."

For a moment, Merlin watched them, unsure if they would agree with her or argue instead. But Uther answered her with a simple nod and she breathed a sigh of relief, rushing off to pack, but really (mostly) to run away from them. Uther's gaze had been too intense and Cenred's strange fascination and look of awe and longing had been too much for her. She felt like she had no other choice but to get away and so she took the chance when she was able.

Now she was hurriedly packing what they had as neatly and efficiently as she could, getting ready for a quick getaway. She contemplated briefly taking off by herself and leaving those two to their own whims, but the more selfless and idiotic part of her actually worried about them and didn't want them to be left to get into trouble (as Cenred had already proven just now, having gotten into a bar fight of all things). She was not quite sure the two could handle themselves alone and even at risk to herself and her sanity (and of course ignoring how she would still be stuck with two dangerous, magic-hating kings), she ended up resigning herself to sticking around them for the unforeseeable future.

She could just argue that she was keeping an eye on a prisoner and keeping the King safe, especially on behalf of Arthur. That sounded much more reasonable in her mind, as to why she was staying around the two that obviously didn't want anything to do with her.

Swallowing down her anxiety, she took their belongings and checked again around the room for anything she might've missed. Finding nothing, she hurried out of the room and down the stairs, finding the two kings waiting by the entrance with unreadable looks on their faces and everyone else still knocked out or getting themselves together. She knew they probably should get out of there before attention (and retaliation!) was returned to them, and she reached her traveling companions quickly, the three of them immediately walking out of there without stopping.

Quiet and awkward (well, on Merlin's end at least), the three of them had made some distance from where they'd fled, the light of the day having started to dim a bit and leading to darker hours soon enough. As the sun started to set, the trio set up camp at a fair enough area.

"Stop getting in the way," Cenred sneered in Uther's direction, laying out their bed rolls.

Uther tossed him a sneer back, "I wouldn't need to be in the way if you would do more, instead of being lazy and incompetent."

"Why don't we just focus on finishing setting up for the night?' Merlin interjected, trying to keep the peace.

"You're the servant," Cenred snapped at her, scowling heavily. "You should've been doing all this, so at least shut up and let us work."

Merlin flinched, quieting down and looking away from him. Instead, she made herself focus on gathering wood and setting it up so she could start a fire, letting the men do their self-appointed tasks in silence. She didn't know why they, especially Cenred, were in such a bad mood, but she wasn't going to draw their attention and have their ire directed towards her.

Having everything ready for her to start, she got their supplies and food ready to be cooked, and then went to focus on using her magic to create a fire. It was a huge spend of magic, so she hoped her magic would cooperate and the magical bindings would let it work for this. And though it took a bit, and more effort than it usually and should've taken for the minor spell, she was able to set the pile of wood alight for her to start cooking.

"What in all the hells are you doing?" Uther screamed and she whirled around to face him in fright, seeing his reaction to her use of magic.

It seemed like it was taking a toll on him and his usual and more expected feelings and reactions to magic usage had burst forth, a minor spell that she'd used was what set him off. Her body shuddered and wanted to curl in on itself, fear thrumming through her as Uther curled his lips into a snarl.

"Enough with this freakishness! I'm tired of seeing magic everywhere and being anywhere near such evil!" he yelled, not even looking at her but through her. "Why is this evil –"

For Uther, he realized his loss of control too late. He cut himself off, regaining his self as his eyes refocused and he saw her, Merlin utterly frightened and shoulders hunching in as she stared at him in terror. He took deep breaths, running shaky hands over his face.

"I'm sorry," he said brusquely, looking at her. "It has been a trying day made worse by trying people," he glared with narrowed eyes at a stoic but tense Cenred.

But Merlin was shaking her head rapidly, wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't do this anymore!" she gasped out wildly. "I can't, I can't!"

She turned and started running off, away from them and alarming them with her reaction.

Uther clenched his jaw and rubbed his face harshly.

"Good going," he heard Cenred drawl sarcastically.

He glared at the other King again. This was all that bastard's fault. His constant sniping, his irritable behavior, his equally harsh behavior with Merlin…If that idiot hadn't gotten them practically tossed out of that inn (for though they left on their own, they knew that it was because of Cenred's actions and behavior that had driven them to leave there quickly and avoid problems).

"We don't have time for this," he responded coldly. "You've done enough damage today," he snarled, though before Cenred could say what he'd just opened his mouth for, Uther continued, "as have I."

He took some more deep breaths, looking over to where Merlin had run off to. "We have to go after her and find her," he murmured. "We should calm her down and bring her back here. And from now on, we can't do this. We obviously cannot stress her out any more than she is now and we need to stop upsetting her. In the future, we must be more mindful of our attitude and words towards her and stop harassing her."

Cenred watched him closely. "I suppose it's best we start acting more supportive and stop the nonsense, given she needs all her focus and energy directed towards preparing to face this Smaug and dealing with all the other problems."

Uther watched him balefully.

"Then again, I'm not the one who drove her away," Cenred added one last shot before turning away and walking towards the direction Merlin had gone off to.

Cenred shook his head, having decided that the day had turned out to be the shittiest. Then again, he should've known it would've turned out that way, what with the way the day had started with him and his brawl in the tavern. Really, what had he been thinking?

And then, he did admit that his irritability with what happened, his overall mood from everything, and how he was still very much annoyed and aggravated with Uther and Uther being there and more or less that he generally existed.

Cenred was especially aggravated that Uther existed right there with them in the camp.

And well, that had led to him taking it out on Merlin and further continuing his unfortunate habit of insulting her.

A part of him had to admit that his behavior and anger had been a continuing byproduct of his revelations and longing to have had Merlin be his sorceress rather than Morgause and the change of fate that could've been for him had he met and collected Merlin for himself sooner.

That, most of all, was the truth of and what was behind his bad attitude and lashing out.

He'd mostly gotten over the tavern brawl, largely because of Merlin and her impressive healing moment. He was admittedly grateful too –it would've hurt like a bitch to deal with a broken arm for the duration of their journey, and it had been actually rather painful. Furthermore, given his past actions and usual attitude with her, he was surprised she'd even been willing to consider healing him, much less looking like she'd done so without hesitation.

But that was, again, just exacerbating exactly the cause of his anger and irritability –because if he'd had Merlin by his side all this time, that kind of care for him would've been a given and a sweetly common gesture from her that he would have rewarded time and again for.

He would have treated her far differently than the Pendragons had, and she would've never have had to hide her magic from him.

Cenred ran a hand through his shortened hair, grousing in his head about the unfairness of it all. It was then though, that he stumbled on the girl.

Merlin looked no worse for wear (if still a bit shook up), sitting by the base of a tree and holding onto her knees, laying her chin on them.

He plopped himself carelessly next to her, not saying a word as he bent his head back to stare up at the sky and relax.

After a moment of silence, she hesitantly questioned him. "Why're you here?"

"I'm just surprised you didn't run off and disappear," he said, wondering about that. She'd had ample time to run off and leave them behind, not giving a chance for them to catch up. However, here she still was, having not even fled too far away.

"I didn't want to leave you two behind. I was worried the two of you would run into trouble and need my help," she muttered, looking down. "I thought it was best if I stuck around and watched over you two…"

He turned his head to watch her incredulously. Even after all that had happened…

"You really are too selfless and sweet," he said dryly, shaking his head. "Honestly, if it was me, I'd leave me and Uther behind to fend for ourselves."

"I couldn't do that," she said quietly. "…Even if it's crossed my mind several times…"

"Still surprised you haven't gone through with that," Cenred noted nonchalantly, getting up lazily and halfheartedly brushing his clothes off. He turned to her and held out a hand. "Ready to go back?"

She hesitated before she held out her hand and placed it into his much larger one. He gently pulled her up and waited for her before leading the way back.

Despite her hesitation, after her confession, Cenred really hadn't expected any other outcome from her.

Returning to their temporary camp and seeing everything set up, Merlin saw Uther by the campfire. He glanced at her before averting his eyes and she inwardly sighed.

They had a quick supper before they called in an early night and settled into the shared tent, though Merlin was glad to have the tent to shield her from the cold weather, even if it was only a bit. It was surprisingly almost freezing cold outside, and the tent at least provided some bit of warmth.

The trio arranged themselves the best they could, with Merlin being placed into the middle, being the smallest of them and probably being the best border between the two men who couldn't stand each other. At first, her usual spot between them made her uneasy again, but it was becoming unfortunately more and more common and she found herself getting used to it. That night, it wasn't long until the uneasiness went away and she figured it was nothing to be worried or stressed about, and found herself falling asleep easily.

On either side of her, though, Uther and Cenred were having a hard time doing the same.

Started 4/29/18 – Completed 7/16/20