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They had been practicing all day, learning dance moves that kept getting harder instead of easier. Or at least that's how it felt for Yoongi. As soon as they got back to their dorms and took quick showers, everyone was out cold on their beds. Except Yoongi. He thought the exhaustion would help him fall asleep, but he had no such luck. Too many worries running around his head. Too many things that could go wrong. Too many things he could do wrong.
What if the fans didn't like the songs they were going to release? What if they didn't appreciate their choreographies? What if he said something wrong in one of the interviews? What if he made a mistake during a live broadcast? What if they were just going to fail and be forgotten? What if...
He turned in his bed, lying on his back as he stared at the ceiling.
What if his brain just let him sleep for one fucking night?
He sighed, covering his face with both his hands and rubbing at his eyes. He felt like crying.
A loud snore broke his anxiety bubble, making him turn on his side and watch his groupmates. Everyone seemed fast asleep. Namjoon was snoring and Yoongi didn't need to see him to know that he was lying on his back, his mouth wide open and the blankets tossed around. He glanced over the bunk beds right next to theirs. Jimin was in Taehyung's bed, his head tucked under the younger boy's chin as they both slept peacefully. Jeongguk was in his own bed, the only single one, facing the wall and snoring softly. He looked so small and young. He was so small and young.
Yoongi sighed again. He lifted his head a little to look over at the remaining beds. He couldn't really see Seokjin even if they were both using the top bunks. Only his hair was visible, peeking from under the blankets. And then... then there was Hoseok. He had to lower his head again, spying him from between Jimin and Taehyung's beds.
Hoseok.
Sweet and precious Hoseok that always slept curled up on one side. He always looked so peaceful and cute in his sleep. But not that night.
Yoongi had to squint his eyes in the darkness of the room to take a better look, but he wasn't wrong. Hoseok didn't look that peaceful. His brow was furrowed in a deep frown, while his lips were pursed into a pout.
Yoongi bit down on his lip. Maybe Hoseok was just having a bad dream. He sighed, lying back under his covers and trying to fall asleep again.
He felt his eyelids grow heavier and was finally relaxing when Namjoon started snoring even louder. His eyes blinked wide open again, glaring holes into the ceiling. He decided to try and put on some music. Maybe that would help him not hear Namjoon's snores mocking him while he couldn't sleep.
How could his friends even sleep so peacefully? He wanted to know their secret. He was jealous of them. He was jealous of people that could just fall asleep.
He suddenly felt guilty. It wasn't their fault if they were just normal people able to fall asleep healthily. He sighed once again, putting his headphones in and almost playing some music. His thumb was hovering over the play button as something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.
Hoseok.
The younger boy tossed and turned a few times, his breathing getting heavy. Yoongi frowned, worry suddenly taking over him. He took off the headphones and threw his phone on the bed, music completely forgotten as he paid more attention to Hoseok. He sat up just in time to hear him whimper in his sleep.
“No, please, no, please.”
Yoongi carefully lowered himself to the ground, tiptoeing around the other beds and going to Hoseok's. He crouched down to get on eye-level with his dongsaeng, who kept tossing and whimpering, still asleep.
“Hoseok-ah.” he called softly. Hoseok didn't respond. “Hoseok-ah.”
Nothing.
He touched Hoseok's shoulder, squeezing down gently on the firm muscle.
Hoseok sat up abruptly, his eyes wide and glassy with unshed tears. He was having troubles breathing, hunching over his bent knees to catch his breath.
“Hey, it was just a nightmare.” he tried to reassure him, his hand still on his shoulder. “You okay?” He was whispering, too scared to wake the others up.
Hoseok just nodded his head once. He hadn't looked up, yet, but at least he was starting to breathe again.
“You sure?”
Hoseok hesitated. He turned his head, still on top of his knees, and glanced at him. His eyes were still wide and he could see some fear in them. “Thirsty.” simply whispered Hoseok.
Yoongi brushed away Hoseok's hair from his forehead, hoping the gesture would calm him some more. “Come on.” He patted him on the shoulder, standing up and holding out his hand.
Hoseok took it without hesitation, letting his hyung tug him out of bed and following him to the kitchen. Neither of them let go of the other's hand.
They didn't speak, Yoongi simply filling a glass with water and passing it to Hoseok.
“Better?” He felt a small smile tug at his lips as he watched Hoseok gulp down the water and then sigh happily.
Hoseok hummed, nodding his head. “Thanks, hyung.”
“You want to talk about the dream?” He had to ask. He couldn't just pretend he didn't see how upset Hoseok had looked in his sleep.
Hoseok shrugged his shoulders as he put down the empty glass. “Can't remember it.”
Liar, thought Yoongi. He could tell that Hoseok wasn't being honest. He could tell just by looking in his eyes. That's probably why Hoseok lowered his gaze, staring at his bare feet. Yoongi didn't say anything, though. He squeezed down on Hoseok's fingers, realising they had been holding hands the whole time.
“I'm sorry I woke you up.” whispered Hoseok, still looking down.
“It's okay.” Yoongi shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “I couldn't sleep anyway.”
“Oh.” Hoseok glanced up at him, his eyes studying Yoongi's face. “I'm sorry.”
“It's not like it's your fault.” snorted Yoongi. He ruffled Hoseok's already messy hair, smiling softly at him. “Come on. Let's get you into bed again. You look cold.”
“I am.” whined Hoseok, his lips finally turning up into a small, playful smile. He stepped closer to Yoongi, hugging his arm and nuzzling his cold nose against Yoongi's neck.
“What are you, a puppy?” scoffed Yoongi, pretending to be annoyed and leaning away a little. He wasn't annoyed. Hoseok's nose was just really fucking cold. And he hated being cold.
“Well, I was born in the year of the Dog.” replied Hoseok, giggling at Yoongi's antics.
“Alright, alright.” mumbled Yoongi, rolling his eyes. He tugged at Hoseok's hand, guiding them back to the bedroom and to Hoseok's bed. But then he stopped, memories of how peaceful Hoseok had looked like while he slept in Yoongi's lap a few weeks prior filling his head and a light-bulb blinking brightly as an idea hit him.
“Hyung?” called Hoseok in a whisper.
“So.” started Yoongi. He turned to glance at Hoseok, who was looking at him in confusion. “Remember how we said we should try cuddling?” he asked, biting down on his lower lip as he felt his face heating up with a blush.
Hoseok just nodded his head, his brow still furrowed in confusion. Yoongi found that frown adorable. But didn't say it out loud.
“Can we try it?” he whispered.
Hoseok blinked a few times in complete silence, staring at Yoongi as if he was trying to understand what his hyung was saying. “Now?”
“Ye-yeah... if it's okay with you...” He was starting to regret proposing it. Maybe Hoseok didn't actually mean it. Maybe he didn't need Yoongi to cuddle him to feel safe. Maybe...
“Okay.” Small, cute dimples formed at the corners of Hoseok's mouth as his lips turned up into a big grin.
He squeezed down on Yoongi's fingers and then sat down on his own bed, tugging at Yoongi's hand until he was sitting as well. He finally let go and lied down under the covers, facing the wall and turning his back to Yoongi.
Yoongi hesitated only a few more seconds before doing the same. He slipped under the covers and spooned Hoseok, his arms sneaking around Hoseok's waist and holding him tightly. “Sweet dreams.” he whispered into Hoseok's ear as he nuzzled against the nape of his head, the little hairs there tickling his nose.
Hoseok seemed to relax completely, sighing happily. “Good night, hyung.” he mumbled, covering Yoongi's arms with his own and tangling their legs together.
Yoongi felt chills roll down his spine as Hoseok freezing toes touched his legs. “Damn, your feet are fucking cold, Seok-ah.” he muttered, still not moving away.
But Hoseok was already asleep, a soft smile still on his lips.
Yoongi sighed, holding Hoseok a little tighter. Just to give him warmth. And comfort. And safety. And love.
He breathed Hoseok's sweet scent in. It was probably the shampoo or maybe the body wash, but to Yoongi, it smelled like home.