Chapter Text
Spirit and Flesh
There's never going to be a time when Hawkeye takes a dressing-down from Frank Burns seriously, but with a new friend in tow and alcohol sloshing around his tonsils, it's even harder to give a damn. Maybe a quarter of the way through the probable length of Frank's attempted lecture, Hawkeye loops an arm under BJ's armpits, grabs his bag from the jeep, and half-guides, half-carries him off to the Swamp, leaving Frank spluttering and protesting in their wake.
BJ giggles. "Ferret Face! That's an affront to a noble rodent," he says.
Hawkeye likes this kid more and more. "You know, you're right. Ferrets don't deserve to be insulted by being compared with Frank. It might be too late, though. I don't know if we can train him to respond to a new name at this point." That makes BJ giggle even harder, and either Hawkeye is too drunk for this shit or it's very cute indeed. (Possibly both.) He's pretty sure he's screwed, and has been since BJ insulted Frank then fell over. But hey, he's survived worse.
BJ can more or less stand up by himself by the time they get inside, and Hawk dumps his bag and gestures vaguely towards the cot that BJ will be calling home. BJ nods and sits down - on Hawkeye's cot.
Hawkeye looks at him. BJ is sorta fuzzy, which means Hawk probably had enough alcohol that he'll sleep tonight. He sets himself down at BJ's side. "You okay?"
BJ nods, then shakes his head. "No, I'm not okay. I'm thousands of miles from home, I miss my wife, I miss my baby girl, I'm completely out of my depth, and all I have is you."
"Oh." God, was Hawkeye ever this young? He knows intellectually that BJ Hunnicutt is a qualified doctor in his late twenties, but he looks like a teenager and so damn vulnerable, and Hawkeye wants to make it better, but where does he even start?
The only thing that would actually make it better would be if he could send BJ home, and even if he could, he isn't sure he would. BJ isn't Trapper John, but... he did good today. Hawk's impressed, and kind of interested (and maybe a little infatuated ever since BJ called Frank 'Ferret Face' to his actual face - Hawkeye still can't quite believe it). BJ may need him, but he definitely needs BJ if he's going to make it through this war now Trap's gone. Maybe that's selfish, but while he undoubtedly likes BJ a lot (really a lot), he's known this kid less than twelve hours. He may have a bit of a saviour complex, but he's not a total martyr.
He puts a hand on BJ's cheek, fights the alcoholic haze to summon up his most reassuring, most doctorly tone, and says, "Kid, you're gonna be just fine. I promise."
BJ looks up at him, and Hawkeye has been noticing vaguely all day but it suddenly hits him right between the eyes how goddamn pretty BJ is. Really, it's too bad he's married, and happily, judging by the way he talks about his wife and daughter. His wide, bright smile and blue eyes and California tan are not for Hawkeye. Only time will tell if they're available on a temporary basis, but Hawk doesn't think he's that lucky.
If Hawkeye were less drunk and less exhausted, he'd probably stop touching BJ's face about now, but after today, he can't bring himself to care. He even brushes his thumb along BJ's cheekbone, and whether it's drunkenness or what, BJ lets him, and Hawkeye struggles against the temptation to lean down and nibble on BJ's bottom lip. Hawk is either way too drunk for this situation or not nearly drunk enough.
"Need another belt?" he asks, and if it comes out sounding like the come on it very nearly is, well, who's counting?
BJ blinks a little, as if he's coming out of a daze, then nods. "Uh, yeah."
Hawkeye forces himself up and off the cot and away from BJ, and sways gently towards the still. "Martini?"
"You have gin?"
Hawkeye grins over his shoulder. "No, we have the next thing up from lighter fluid, but it works." He manages to get himself and two glasses back to the cot, which is a minor miracle.
BJ's first sip is tentative, and he winces. "Good God, what did you distil this from? Pure evil?"
Hawkeye almost tips over sideways laughing. "It's flavoured with essence of Frank Burns."
"That explains a lot." BJ takes another sip. "Does it get better or did my taste buds just commit suicide?"
"Bit of both."
They drink in companionable silence for a while. Hawkeye's doing his best not to overstep any boundaries, but when he gets up to fetch a refill then sits a little further from BJ on the cot, in an attempt to stop himself from doing anything too stupid, BJ gravitates in and closes the gap. It seems like he's not ready to let go of Hawkeye, and Hawk doesn't know if it's personal or if it's just that BJ's clinging to the one ally he has, but either way, Hawk has neither the energy nor the inclination to fight it.
"Hawkeye?" BJ asks eventually.
"Yeah?"
"How am I gonna get through this?"
Hawk sighs. He's all out of reassuring words - he could use a few himself - so he goes with simple honesty. "One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time."
"I feel like I've been here for months, not just one day."
Hawkeye can relate. His year here feels more like three. "Hey, kid. You'll be okay," he says, nudging his shoulder into BJ's. "You'll be all right. You have me, remember?"
BJ nods uncertainly and downs the last of his gin. "I feel as if home is just someplace I imagined to keep me going," he murmurs, and Hawkeye only hears it because they're sitting glued up against each other, like they'll both topple if they don't have someone else to lean on. Given how much alcohol they've had, that might be literally true.
Hawkeye gets rid of their glasses, then scrapes up a little coordination and takes hold of BJ's face, makes him look up.
"It'll be okay," he says again. "I've got you. I'll take care of you." It's just supposed to be reassurance, a friendly offer of support, but somehow it comes out sounding like a solemn promise, and Hawkeye thinks maybe he even means it. "Okay?"
"Okay."
"Good."
They're sitting way too close, and Hawkeye should definitely move away now. BJ is all big eyes and earnestly furrowed brow, and when Hawk runs a thumb gently over BJ's bottom lip, BJ swallows audibly.
There are a thousand and five ways this is a terrible idea, but since when did that ever stop Hawk doing anything? At least he can blame it on the alcohol, and keep to himself that he's wanted to do it since BJ backed up his ridiculous Corporal-Captain nonsense in the Kimpo O Club. All the warnings Hawkeye's been giving himself recede under the blowtorch of want and need and this will be my only chance...
BJ gasps when their lips meet, and Hawkeye isn't sure if it's a good sound or not. He keeps it gentle and tender and light, then it's BJ leaning in and kissing harder. Hawkeye grins into the kiss and curls a hand around the back of BJ's neck to keep him close.
It turns out BJ's mouth is every bit as delicious as it looks, and Hawk lets out a little whimper which he will deny later if pressed. It's very possible BJ is thinking about his wife, but Hawkeye doesn't care. (Much.) Here and now, he gets to have BJ Hunnicutt's lips all to himself, and it's glorious.
He really didn't expect BJ to be so into it, so enthusiastic, and when they finally come up for air, it takes Hawk a second to blink his eyes open. He discovers BJ looking at him. Then BJ starts to laugh and so does Hawk, and Hawk kisses BJ again because he wants to know what that laugh feels like, and they tumble into a giggling, kissing pile on Hawkeye's cot, and who cares if this is the most foolish thing they could be doing? Hawkeye wraps his arms and legs around BJ as tightly as he can and loses himself completely in BJ's mouth.