Chapter Text
For the sake of being truthful, Damian always knew. He likes to think that what drew him to Janis was the “don’t come near me, but also please do” vibe she had the first day of sophomore year. In reality, he’s aware it was probably his gaydar. Of course he’d never tell a soul that, unless Janis was ready to tell to people. Which she had made clear on multiple occasions, she wasn’t.
“I’m not giving her that satisfaction, Damian.” was all she would reply.
-
She had explained what had happened to her shortly after they became friends. They had been at her house, her mom out running errands while the two watched a movie in her garage- turned-art studio. Janis had been acting off the whole day, but Damian chose not to press the issue. If she wanted to share what was troubling her, she would.
Evidently, she did.
Midway through the horror on the screen, she had started talking so softly, Damian could hardly hear her. Turning his head to face her, he saw his friend, who had not yet come into her own, looking down at her knees, which had been held up to her chest on the couch. The boy questioned what she had said, and she sighed before she continued.
“I said, do you know what caused me to leave in eighth grade?” She asked again, louder this time, but still clearly hurting. Damian shook his head, his eyebrows raised in question.
“It was Regina.” She started, before hesitating, and continuing on. “Well, it wasn’t just her, but she wouldn-she didn’t..” She stopped again, and Damian saw tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes. She started again with a new train of thought.
“Have you heard any of the things people at school say about me?”
Of course he had, the Plastics’ vile rumors had been everywhere once she came back. He only transferred to North Shore for high school, but from what he had heard, there had been a lot he had missed in the area’s middle school years.
“I’ve heard bits and pieces, but I would much rather hear you explain what happened.”
Janis cast her eyes down at the popcorn in her lap before sighing and eventually looking up again.
“Up until eighth grade, Regina George and I used to be best friends.”
-
“And the absolute worst part of this, isn’t the remarks I get in the hallway, isn’t losing the respect I had, it’s that she’s right. I don’t even think she’s fully convinced herself of her bullshit and is just trying to impress her fucking goons, but it just hurts so much because it’s true. ”
As Janis began to break down, popcorn bowl long forgotten on the table, Damian leaned in and held the girl in a hug. It made sense now, why he had been drawn to her that first day, sitting alone in the back of the cafe. He pulled back from the hug to look her in the eyes.
“Janis, you should never be upset because of who you are.”
“It’s just, I’m so stupid to have actually thought I could trust her enough to tell her,” Janis said, throwing her head back against the couch.
“Wait, did you? Is that how she knew?”
“Not exactly.”
-
“Um, Jan, you good?”
The bell had rung, signaling everyone to head towards their next period, but Janis had only now realized she had continued to stare off after her peers left. She whipped her head around to face her best friend, now next to her, as opposed to where she was seated previously, directly in Janis’s line of sight.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Just tired.” She said, standing up quickly, grabbing her bag, and praying nobody saw her looking. “You ready for lunch?”
Regina simply shrugged and nodded, leading the way through the door and to the cafeteria. It still amazed Janis that no matter what her fellow students were in the middle of, they would turn to gawk and stare as Regina (followed by Janis, and occasionally some others) marched through the hallway effortlessly. She wasn’t particularly fond of it, but Regina didn’t seem to care, so Janis just let it go. It was easier than having to explain herself.
Besides, she knew other girls desperately wanted to be in her place beside Regina. To them, being with Regina ensured the highest social standing they could have. To Janis, it just meant spending time with her best friend.
As the pair arrived at the lunch room, they walked over to their usual table and grabbed seats. Janis had forgotten to grab her lunch off the counter that day, and instead of going hungry, sucked it up to get the school’s food from the kitchen, with money Regina gave her. (“Hey, you covered the popcorn last time we went to the movies, I think we’re even, Jan.”)
When she starting walking back to the table after paying for her food, however, she noticed some of Regina’s other, new friends whispering across the table. As she got closer, she heard some of what they were saying.
“I’m just concerned Regina, you have to understand. I mean she was staring for like, half the class. Don’t you think that seems, I don’t know, weird? ” Taylor, one of the newest people to start following the mob of people around.
“Yeah, I mean, in gym, instead of changing around all of us, she just goes into the stall,” Gretchen said.
“Wait, isn’t that the point of stalls?” Karen asked, looking like she was contemplating everything she knew.
“Well, yeah, but I mean, still.”
This could not be happening. There was no fucking way Gretchen “My dad invented toaster strudel” Weiners and these imposing bitches were talking shit, no matter how true, about her in front of Regina. She couldn’t see her friend’s face from the way she was walking back, but she knew Regina wouldn’t listen to those assholes. They’d been friends for years, and anybody would trust their closest friend over random thrill seekers anyway. At least, she really hoped. It’s not like she wasn’t planning to tell Regina how she felt, she just needed the right time.
Janis finally arrived back at the table, quietly greeting everyone as a hush fell over the table, everyone suddenly invested in their food. She sent a quick smile over to Regina next to her and was relieved to receive one back. Everything’s fine , she thought. We’re okay.
-
Later that night, Janis was over Regina’s house for one of their usual Friday night sleepovers they’d been having together since they could remember. The two girls had watched a few movies that night, but were now laying in Regina’s bed, starting to doze off. Something seemed off though, and whatever it was, Janis prayed it would go away soon.
“Reg, are we, you know, good? You seemed kinda quiet tonight.” She asked anxiously.
Janis wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly what the girls at lunch had been trying to convince Regina of. To Janis, however, it didn’t matter what those girls thought of her, she just hoped her friend would always stick by her side. She just had to find the courage to tell her.
“Yeah, I’ve just been thinking about some things,” Regina said, still sounding closed off.
“Me too,” Janis said. Maybe now’s my chance to tell her .
“You know Jan, I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit off too. Especially when it comes to Shane and I or our friends.”
Janis sighed, knowing this was true. “Sorry about that, I just don’t feel like we’ve spent much time together lately, you know? This is the first time I’ve seen you alone for like, more than five minutes this week.” She said, chuckling lightly.
Regina’s eyebrows drew together in confusion with her statement, and Janis immediately knew she said the wrong thing.
“Why does it matter if we’re not alone together 24/7? Can’t we spend time with other people without dramatics?”
“No, of course, we can, I was just saying tha-” Janis began backpedaling her thoughts, before being cut off.
“Jan, why are you like, so obsessed with me?” Regina asked, in dead seriousness.
Before Janis could even reply this time, she was interrupted by Regina’s bedroom door opening.
“Girls, it’s time for bed okay? Regina, you have a skate class with your new teacher at 9, so Janis, I’ll have to drop you off early, is that okay?
“Yeah, that’s fine Mrs. George.” She replied, turning her head towards the door.
“Alright, night girls!”
Janis went to turn back around to face Regina again, but the other girl had already turned to face the wall.
-
“The next day, after I got home, I got a call saying I wasn’t invited to Regina’s party because the other girls were worried , and then that Monday, when I got to school, someone had carved “ Dyke” into my locker.”
Damian sat in awe at how horribly the poor girl had been treated, by someone who had dared call themselves her best friend. She looked so broken by the end of explaining the story that it scared Damian. In the brief time they had known each other, every time he saw her at school, she put on a face of not giving a fuck about what people say.
Now, he realized, she does in fact care, but Janis is never going to let that be known to anyone who she doesn’t deem fit to keep her secrets. He knew then and there he was going to stick by this girl through thick and thin.
“Understandably, my mom was pretty pissed, considering I was only out to her at that point, and called Regina’s mom furious , and that didn’t help the situation by any standard, and by the next week, I had left North Shore for a steady diet of online schooling and art therapy.” Janis finished, throwing in a light, anxious chuckle at the end.
“Wait, so why did you come back to North Shore?”
“I didn’t want people to remember me as the scared, pathetic dyke. I want them to know I don’t care what people think anymore, even if that’s not completely true. And the only reason I haven’t told anyone besides you and my mom is that I don’t want to give that bitch the pleasure of knowing she was right.”
Before Damian could reply, she quickly added, “Besides, if I hadn’t come back, I wouldn’t have met the best friend I’ve ever truly had.”
The two still smiled at each other, despite the obviously present tears in Janis’s eyes. The girl took a deep breath and shook her head slightly, clearly indicating she was done talking for now.
“Alright dahling , shall we continue our fascinating binge of the Final Destination franchise?” Damian said, effectively changing the subject.