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Folding his arms across his chest, Lars slides down the wall and slumps on the floor of the Kindergarten. He bows his head, but his eyes focus on the strange pink colour of his skin. Lars groans and closes his eyes, not wanting to think about it.
He doesn’t want to think about any of this. He doesn’t want to think about the Gems kidnapping humans from Beach City, he doesn’t want to think about getting stuck on a ship and dragged all the way to Homeworld, he doesn’t want to think about running for his life and getting attacked by the robonoids… and he certainly doesn’t want to think about dying an then being brought back to life, only to be some kind of pink zombie now and still being stuck on this horrible planet. He just wants to forget about it all.
But he can’t. The rocky wall is cold against his back and the gravelling ground digs into the seat of his pants. The air is cold and slightly dusty from all the explosions not that long ago. His body feels weird and different now. No matter how hard he tries, Lars can’t stop thinking about this awful situation he is stuck in.
And it sucks. It totally sucks. He just wants to go home. He wants to see Mom and Dad and Sadie and everyone he knows again. He wants this nightmare to be over. He wants to be a proper human again. He wishes none of this crap ever happened.
Despite how he wants to appear strong, Lars’ eyes start to fill with tears. He grimaces and tries to run his fingers through his hair – but instead his fingers sink into the weird dimension thing that’s now inside his head for some reason, and Lars slams his hands against the ground in frustration.
He swears and grits his teeth, and a tear trickles down his scarred face.
“Lars?”
Startling, Lars opens his eyes to see Rhodonite crouched in front of him. All four of her eyes focus on him, paying special attention to the tear tracks on his face.
“I don’t mean to sound redundant, but are you all right?” she asks.
Lars nods and wipes his eyes on the back of his hand, sniffing. He forces himself to smile. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”
“Really?” Fluorite says in her usual slow way.
Lars jumps properly this time, somehow not having noticed the enormous fusion beside him.
“Oh, hey, Fluorite,” he says, wishing his eyes would stop prickling with barely suppressed tears. “Didn’t see you there. But, really, I’m okay.”
“I don’t believe you, Lars,” she says, and his eyes widen. “I know you are upset. We all do. We saw you crying.”
Lars looks down at the ground, his face flushing a darker shade of pink. Even though he’s seriously homesick and starved for affection, he wishes they wouldn’t fuss over him like this; it’s kind of embarrassing. “Yeah, I was sort of crying. But I’m fine now. Really.”
“Then why do you still look like you are about to sob?” One voice says; another quickly adds, “Yes, you still look very upset, even though you’re hiding you tears.”
Finally taking his eyes off of the ground, Lars sees the Rutile Twins have joined their little huddle. He sighs and scrubs at his damp face, wishing the lump would get out of his throat.
“Who’re you lot, the psychiatrists I never went to see?” Lars says, laughing weakly. From the blank expressions on his face, none of the Gems understood his rhetorical question. “Sorry, it’s just I don’t get how you’re so good at seeing through me. Most people I’ve met never noticed I always felt about three seconds from bursting into tears. It’s kinda amazing how a load of Gems cut off from your society know more about sympathy and understand emotions better than most humans I ever met back on Earth…”
As he says ‘Earth’, his voice cracks. Lars groans, swallowing even though the lump in his throat makes the action very uncomfortable. He blinks rapidly, willing himself not to cry.
“Human Lars is crying!” Padparadscha cries, rushing over.
“We know, Padparadscha,” Rhodonite says softly.
“I’m not crying,” Lars mutters, teeth gritted.
Padparadscha squeezes past Fluorite and goes right up to his side. She puts a hand on Lars’ shoulder, and he knows she is looking at him despite the hair obscuring her eye. “Human Lars? Please tell us what is wrong. We want to help.”
Lars sighs. Out of all of the Off Colors, he is closest friends with Padparadscha. The small Gem is so sweet and kind, and he finds it hard to go against her wishes. So he looks at her, covers her hand with his own and says, “I guess I can talk, Pads. It’s pretty simple really, and kinda pathetic. I’m just homesick.”
“Homesick?” Rhodonite says, confused.
The Rutile Twins glance at each other, clearly alarmed.
“Do you mean you’re getting sick?” Lefty says. Righty adds, “Yes, because we can’t have you contracting a pathogen with no access to medical care.”
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Fluorite says, smiling as she speaks in her painfully slow way. “It is an expression that simply means… someone who is sad because they miss their home. Is that correct, Lars?”
Lars nods, sniffing. “Y-Yeah, that’s about right.”
“Oh, so you miss your planet?” Rhodonite says.
“Yeah… I miss it a lot,” he says, and then his eyes prickle worse than ever and a few more tears spill down his face.
Humiliated, Lars scrubs at his eyes and tries to shield his face, not wanting everyone to see him cry.
“Please don’t cry,” Padparadscha says, and then she moves closer and pulls Lars into a hug.
And as Lars sobs and tries his upmost to stop crying, he wraps an arm around the small Gem. He feels more arms around him and then the other Off Colors are all joining the cuddle and soon they’re having a proper group hug, clinging to each other. And he can hear the others crying too and tears run freely down his face, and Lars realises that he isn’t trying to hide his tears anymore.
Because there is nothing wrong with crying. And he may miss the Earth so much it hurts, but maybe the Earth isn’t his only home. Maybe living with the Off Colors is like having a second home, and he won’t feel as homesick with them all here to support him.
But whatever it is, but the time the group hug ends, Lars isn’t crying anymore.