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Awkward Blurtations

Summary:

Hermione Malfoy and James Potter hate each other. Or do they?

Chapter 1: bed warming

Summary:

James is really bad at flirting.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“What do you want Potter?” narrowed eyes, pursed lips, and sparking fingers accompanied that question. He knew it was a bad idea to go on, but she looked so beautiful when she was angry and James wasn’t exactly known for his impulse control.

“How about it, love? You, me, Hogsmeade… and if it gets too cold you can warm my bed.”

He could see the moment what he said registered in her brain, it was the exact moment he realized what just slipped out of his mouth. But before he could take it back and apologize, she struck… literally. He expected her to yell or maybe throw a curse or two but the fist to the face was an unexpected surprise.

A familiar booming laugh accompanied the feeling of his best friend hauling him to his feet.

“What’d ya say that for mate? Didn’t think you had it in you honestly! HA! But turns out Prongs really is as horny as the rest of us… Hear that Moony? Mr romantic has a raunchy side!” Sirius snapped him out of his stupor.

“Tell me I didn’t actually say that to her and I’ll believe you. Please tell me I didn’t say that to her!” His desperate pleas only made Sirius laugh harder, while Remus somehow managed to look both amused and sympathetic at the same time… dick. “Now she’s never going to talk to me again or look at me! Hell I’d be surprised if she even allows herself to breathe the same air as me!”

The silence from both Remus and Sirius was all the confirmation he needed. “Fuck! How could I be so stupid!”

Remus’ lips twitched as he fought the urge to laugh. “You like her.”

“I do not!”

Sirius snorted, “Prongs, mate, you’re absolute shite at lying-”

“I am not!”

“Well you pretty much just told her to her face you want to have sex with her so…” Remus’ logic jolted him out of his denial.

“I really did that, didn’t it?” James sighed and ran his hand through his hair “I really do like her, but I don’t know what to do about it... Everytime I see her I get so nervous I don’t know what to say. Plus she hates me. And she looks so beautiful when she’s angry. And-”

"And all you want to do is just take her in your arms and kiss her till you can't breathe."

"...yeah."

Remus laid a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, "How about you try just talking to her first, like a normal person."

“But maybe try not insulting her when you talk to her-”

“- And less of the awkwardly timed pick up lines. Those just make everyone uncomfortable.”


 

He was watching her again.

She sighed and stared at the book in her hands harder. So hard the letters jumbled up and the words blurred together. She sighed again and ran her hand through her hair.

“Seven.”

The suddenness of the word startled her and she stared across the table at her study partner.

“What?”

He stared at her like she was an absolute idiot, which he probably thought she was, before letting out an exaggerated sigh. “That.” At her still blank stare, he gave her a long suffering look. “You’ve sighed seven times in the last two minutes.”

She let out an amused laugh. “I have not! That’s ridiculous!”

“I counted.”

“Oh.” She frowned and looked back at her book, once again noticing the object of her frustrations staring at her.

“Why the sudden onslaught of sighs?" He paused catching himself, "Not that I care.”

She snorted, his dispassionate stare would be enough to fool anyone. But not her. “Not that you care.” Her sarcasm was subtle but she knew he caught it.

“My silence was disturbed, and if I can help bring it back so I can study in peace I will.”

She didn’t believe his reasoning, and she knew that he knew that she didn’t believe him. But this was why they were friends.

She sighed.

“Eight.”

She glared at him. “Stop that.” His smirk was the only answer. “Prat.”

“Bitch.”

“Do you want an answer or not?” He stared at her and she smirked, knowing she'd won. “James Potter said something to me yesterday… I already punched him, so it’s okay.” His surprised laugh made her grin. “It’s just that all day I’ve been catching him staring at me.” She heard his suddenly furious growl and grabbed his hand, ignoring the look that flashed across his face. “It’s nothing to be worried about, I’m not threatened or anything, he's all shy and awkward about it. Besides you and I both know I could take him down with my pinky toe if I wanted to." he laughed and she knew she'd calmed him down. Overprotective git. "It’s just confusing, that’s all. And frustrating. Especially with what he said yesterday…”

He stared at her with the closest thing to a worried look she had ever seen on his face. “What did he say to you?”

“Well he called my name out of nowhere in the middle of the sixth floor corridor. There was no one around, and I turned to see him and two of his lackeys so obviously I was expecting a fight.” He nodded, the concern never leaving his eyes. “And he just says ‘How about it, love? You, me, hogsmeade… and if it gets too cold you can warm my bed.’ I was completely shocked and I didn’t know what else to do or how to respond really, so I just, sort of, punched him in the face and ran.”

“He said… and you just….” His face was the picture of shock before he suddenly burst into loud uncontrollable laughter.

“Theo this is a library. Quiet down.” When he showed no intention of quieting down and they began attracting more and more stares, she hit him with a stinging jinx. “OW! Hey, what was that for?! No need to get violent witch!” He pouted, rubbing his abused arm.

“People were staring and you wouldn’t keep quiet!”

“Okay okay fine, you win. I’ll be quiet.”

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously on the mischievous twinkle suddenly in his eyes. “Spit it out Nott. What is it, what do you know?”

“It’s not what I know it’s what I suspect.” At his obviously fake angelic tone, her eyes narrowed even more.

“What do you suspect exactly?”

“You are just too impatient, you could do with having to wai-OW! Okay fine I’ll tell you just stop kicking me!” His eyes narrowed at her triumphant look but he continued. “He likes you.”

She stared at him not fully comprehending. “What?”

He let out a sigh and gave her his signature 'you're an imbecile how are you even alive right now??' look. "I know you aren't this dumb… I said that-”

“I know what you said, I just don’t think you’re right.” She huffed, sticking her nose in the air. “We hate each other!” At his raised eyebrow she continued, “He’s Gryffindor and I’m Slytherin. I’m at the top of all the classes and he doesn’t seem to care about them at all, he’s-”

“He’s a Potter, you’re a Malfoy, yadda yadda. I know all of this and it has nothing to do with the fact that he likes you!” He rolled his eyes at her antics, “It’s completely obvious. You just don’t want to face the truth. I just don’t know why you keep denying it so…”

She looked away, and once again caught James staring at her, obviously trying to figure out what they were talking about. She quickly looked back at her book, suddenly remembering that she was supposed to be reading it, but she couldn’t for the life of her remember what it was about.

Suddenly aware that Theo was silent, she looked up at him and found him gaping at her. “Are you okay Theo?”

“You like him.”

“No I don’t!” catching the strange look on his face, she quickly backtracked “No, I don’t!- I mean- I don’t know who you’re talking about! Ha!”

Hermione.” Something about the way he said her name made her give up and tell him the truth.

“I don’t know… I mean, he’s a cocky immature ass and I hate him. But he’s also really attractive and can be funny sometimes... kind of.” Another odd look flitted across Theo’s face but she ignored it. “I don’t know him well enough to like him Theo.”

Theo’s voice was full of wistful melancholy when he spoke, “You don’t always need to know someone to like them.”

Notes:

Thank you for reading, I'd love to hear what you think!

While procrastinating preparing for an exam, I started thinking about my favourite fictional lady and started to wonder what would happen if she was a Malfoy in the Marauders era, and since I've always loved Hermione and James together I thought I'd put those ideas together and this is what came out of it. I actually really like what I've started so I may extend this if I have enough interested readers!

All my love,

xoxo