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Crickets chirped loudly, their songs echoing across the familiar countryside. Frogs joined in their chorus and loons could occasionally be heard playing along too. Stars speckled the sky, twinkling brightly, their audience and the full moon their spotlight. It was nature's concert. However, currently curled up in bed, you weren't really there to enjoy it. Instead, you opted to listen to whatever sounds could boldly make it through your closed windows. They softly lulled you to sleep, keeping your dreams calm and bright.
Suddenly a different sound made its way to your ears. What sounded like a soft sob, as the bed next to you shifted. Your eyes slowly fluttered open and you stared groggily out into the darkness of your bedroom. Your mind was still fuzzy from sleep as your eyes slowly wandered the room before settling on the shadowed form sitting next to you in bed. You watched as it ran its hands across its face before letting out another choked sob. The air was thick with a smell you couldn't recognize at first; but after a couple seconds, you realized it was alcohol.
The figure suddenly made a move to get up, but you quickly snatched it's hand in your own before it could get too far.
“Ah-” it let out a surprised noise as it was pulled down towards the bed once more.
“Shane,” now that you were face to face and fully awake; you remembered your handsome husband who spent every night next to you in bed. “What's wrong? Are you okay?” Your voice was dripping with worry as you went to run your fingers soothingly through his hair. The moment you made contact with it you instantly realized it was wet and soaked in sweat. You slowly ran your fingers down to his cheeks which were painted in trails of tears. He definitely was not okay.
“I'm sorry,” He whispered, his voice shaky. He let out another sob and then sniffled loudly.
“Sorry for what?” You asked cautiously as you turned to flick on a light.
His hand suddenly gripped your arm roughly, preventing you from completing your task. “No, I don't want you to see me!” He exclaimed. His voice sounded hoarse like he had a cold and even his hands were drenched in sweat.
“Don't want me to see you? Shane, I think you're overreacting. I always want to see you; no matter what you look like or think you look like,” you reassured as you turned back to look at his face that was still shrouded in the darkness of night.
“I'm sorry,” he suddenly apologized again, completely ignoring you.
“Sha-”
“I broke my promise to you. I said I would never do it again, I said I would try my hardest to be a man who is deserving of your presence alone,” he paused his rant to let out a loud sob, his voice cracking. “But I'm a lying piece of shit. It was so tempting, the feeling to do it again coursing through my veins; and like some fucking addict I gave into it.”
“It's okay, you can just try again. It doesn't matter how many times you keep on failing because you're working towards that one time you'll finally succeed.” you began to run your hands soothingly up and down his arms.
“What if I always fail? What if I'm always such a worthless piece of trash?”
“Well then I'll try my damndest to show you, you're anything but,” you replied; determination laced in your voice.
He suddenly let out a breathy laugh, sniffling loudly once more. “You're impossible,” he whispered.
“Impossibly good-looking,” you teased, winking even though he couldn't see it. He let out another laugh in response. “There's my laughy Shaney.” You suddenly moved in and began attacking his face with kisses, stealing all his tears away.
“St-stop!” He sputtered as your lips landed upon his, sealing them in a kiss. He let out a soft moan against your lips as you ran your tongue along his mouth, seeking entrance. The moan gave you enough of an opening to snake it in anyways. He tasted like alcohol, but he also tasted like Shane. Your favourite flavour as his tongue lazily and sloppily ran across yours. A wet, slopping sort of noise could be heard as your saliva intermingled. A hand suddenly gripping the back of your head, pushing you closer against him and deepening the kiss even further. He didn't try very hard in the clash of tongues as he simply lay there letting you do whatever you wished, for the most part. Though soon you realized you had to part for air and you solemnly retracted your mouth from his. You were both panting by this point, limbs tangled together through the kiss as you both tried to get as close as you could to the other.
“I don't deserve you, you know.”
“I don't, because you're wrong.” He let out a dry laugh, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
“Sometimes I go to bed and I'm so scared I'll wake up back at Marnie’s place again. Like this was all some sick fantasy.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat, his voice having trouble making its way out. “But then I wake up every morning to your beautiful face and I realize that it's not all just a dream. Then I caress your cheeks, hold you in my arms and feel you kiss me even in my most disgusting times and I feel so complete.” He suddenly began crying again, his hold on you becoming tighter. “I don't know why you put up with me.”
“Because I love you, so goddamn much. I know my words don't mean much and you might find it hard to believe but-”
“Your words mean everything to me,” he cut you off, trailing kisses up your neck and to your ear before nibbling your earlobe. A shiver made its way down your spine as he did so.
The moon’s light suddenly slipped through the cracks of your curtains, which hung just above your bed and bounced off both your features. The soft light ran down Shane's face, giving him an almost ethereal glow. It trailed across the new tears that had formed after your kisses, causing them to sparkle; and lit up his forest green eyes that were surrounded by red, swollen eyelids. A soft pink blush stained his cheeks, most likely from the alcohol.
“You're beautiful,” you whispered, just as the light from the moon disappeared once more behind your shield of curtains.
“Me? I'm beautiful?” He sputtered, stunned.
“Yeah, you're like an angel.”
“No, I'm not, stop saying weird things.”
“What? It's true, I'm serious!”
“No, you're not.”
“I am!” A silence spread between you before you both started laughing. “You're impossible.”
“Impossibly good-looking,” even though you couldn't see his face anymore you could practically feel his blush spread even farther across it. A smile made its way to your lips and your heart clenched happily.
“Alright, let's go take a shower. You look like you could use one.”
“You're coming too? I don't want you to get out of bed-”
“Too late!” You exclaimed rolling over him and off the bed before rushing to get to the bathroom. He let out an 'oof' as your body rolled atop his.
“I'm just going to lay here, have a nice shower.”
“Get up you lazy butt!”
"I can't, you crushed all my bones with your fat ass."
The rest of the night was spent basking in each others presence. If you weren't holding each other in your sleep, you were whispering loving words into each other's ears. You were in love and nothing Shane did could damage that or even change your mind. You were determined to let him know that he was worthy of being loved and none of this would ever be just a dream but sometimes it felt just as good as one.