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Officer Sawamura Daichi meandered around the geometrically shaped room, illuminated with cool blue lights. His eyes trailed over the perimeter, scribbling notes on his pad whenever he noticed something to check on. There were various glass cases around the room holding gems of great worth, but in the center of the room was the highlight of the showcase, the Seijoh Diamond. Daichi thought a museum of history was a strange place to keep one of the rarest diamonds in the world, but it was only a temporary exhibit. Besides, there were a lot of stories and legends revolving around the unusual teal gem, so it made sense when he thought about it. As he looked for any holes in their security, his partner, Iwaizumi, was immersed in conversation with the museum’s head curator, Oikawa Tooru.
“Oikawa-san--.”
“Oh, please, Oikawa is fine.”
“Alright, have you found anything else suspicious?”
“Nope, just the note telling us he’s going to steal it.”
“May we see the note?”
“Of course, here.”
“Sawamura, come look at this.”
Daichi finished his writing and wandered over to his partner. In his hand was a small rectangular card, and when he handed it to Daichi, he could feel the elegance of the script and texture of it.
“Fancy.”
“I’m so glad you’re impressed. You going to use them for your wedding invitations?” Iwaizumi grumbled. Daichi snickered; they both felt like this job was a waste of time. Taking care of the museum’s security should have been a security guard’s duty, not a police officer. But the museum was the city’s crown jewel, not to mention all the money poured into this particular exhibit, so their hands were tied up in the matter.
“You know better than anyone I don’t have a girlfriend. There’s a small embossing on the back, isn’t this from that stationary shop down the street? The logo is the same as their sign.”
“Oh, good thinking. We’ll stop in and have a chat with them to see if they printed it and maybe we can identify who purchased it.”
“You think the thief would be that stupid?” Oikawa asked, readjusting the glasses perched on his nose.
“You’d be surprised. Some of the cleverest and most famous thieves get too cocky and do something obvious like that. What do you think of the room, Sawamura?”
“It’ll be difficult for him to get in other than that one doorway, but I wanted to ask you what security measures you had, Oikawa-san?”
“Once everything’s shut down for the night, we have rotating laser beams encircling the room to detect anything out of place. Inside the case we have a separate one, not to mention the alarm automatically goes off every time it’s opened.”
“May we inspect it without the case for a moment?”
“Sure.” Oikawa slipped a walkie from his hip and pressed the button. “Yahaba? Turn off the case alarms and raise it please. The officers want to check it out.”
As soon as he was done speaking, the electronic hum emanating from the case powered down and the glass walls began to rise on four metal spokes from the marble below it. Daichi observed everything while he scribbled the details in his notes, and both the officers leaned forward to get a better look.
“Pretty high-tech, especially considering the rest of the museum’s out-of-date security,” Iwaizumi murmured, and Oikawa gave an indignant huff.
“Well, the government supplied cutting-edge technology for this hunk of rock. But would they care if something from our priceless samurai collection was stolen? Or from the extraterrestrial exhibit?”
“You have an exhibit on aliens? I thought this was a history museum?”
“Iwa-chan! Proof of extraterrestrial life is riddled throughout history! You really should stop by and learn something on your way out.”
“No, thank you, and the name’s Officer Iwaizumi. Anyways, what do you think, Sawamura?”
Daichi bit his lip as his eyes looked over all the mechanics of the case and shrugged.
“I don’t know, I can’t possibly see how he’s gonna get in here without tripping--” He paused as his eyes flickered just above Iwaizumi’s head. “Hey, is that security camera off?”
Iwaizumi and Oikawa turned to look, and sure enough there was no green light to indicate that the camera was working. The handsome curator let out an unattractive groan, snatched up a nearby stool and climbed up toward it. He gave it a rough tap and the light popped on.
“A few of our cameras have been shorting out on us, and unfortunately it’s terrible timing.”
“You should really get those replaced,” Iwaizumi suggested, turning back to Daichi and rolling his eyes. Daichi hid his smirk behind his hand. It was just like the government to invest so much in lasers but forget to replace the security cameras. A part of him felt like they were just begging to be robbed.
“Are you done inspecting the case?” Oikawa asked, impatience leaking through his voice.
“Yes, that should be good.”
“Yahaba, close the case and reset the alarms.”
As the case began to shut, Daichi took another look at the card.
What a beautiful diamond you have there. It would be a shame if someone stole it.
Underneath the script was a simple shape of a cat head, the picture specifically used by the notorious black cat thief. Except this time, he added something; a pair of sunglasses over the cat’s nonexistent eyes.
“Alright, I think we’re done here. We’ll have a detail waiting outside the museum all night, and Officer Sawamura and myself will check back with you in the morning.”
All the previous irritation faded away as Oikawa pasted on a charming smile and flipped his wavy hair back.
“I really appreciate everything you’re doing for us. Maybe I could repay you with some dinner tonight?”
“I get my paycheck every two weeks by my boss, I don’t need any other form of payment, Oikawa-san.”
“Come on, Iwa-chan. You need to take that stick out of your ass and rest sometime, right?”
Iwaizumi closed his eyes as he took deep breaths. Daichi could see his jaw clenched so tight he was certain his molars were about to burst. He fought back the desire to encourage the curator to irritate his partner further and instead gave Iwaizumi’s shoulder a squeeze.
“We’ll check in with you tomorrow, Oikawa-san.”
“Hmph, fine. Tomorrow then.”
When they finally escaped out the front door of the museum and into the bright afternoon sun, Iwaizumi let out a deep, agonizing breath.
“That guy is such a shithead.”
“Really? I thought for a minute there he was growing on you.”
“Growing on me? The only thing growing is my desire to shove my fist in his head whenever he calls me by that ridiculous nickname. What am I, a 7-year-old girl?”
Daichi snorted as he slid into the passenger seat of their police car.
“I think that’s his way of flirting with you.”
“What? He wasn’t flirting.”
“Of course, he was! And don’t think I didn’t notice you checking him out as well.”
“I-- no, he had some lint on the back of his pants. It was very distracting, I couldn’t stop looking at it.”
Daichi laughed and Iwaizumi finally cracked a grin of his own. They piddled through traffic on their way to the stationary shop, starting and stopping as they continued to chat about the case.
“Do you really think he’ll show up tonight?” Daichi asked, flipping through his notes.
“I don’t know. He’s been known to mess with people, so maybe he’ll rob the national bank instead while we’re guarding the diamond or wait a few days while their security starts to slack off.”
“Hey, you wanna grab lunch before stopping at the shop?”
“Yeah, I could use a bite. It’s not like we’re in any hurry.”
After a quick lunch they wandered into the shop and were greeted warmly by an old woman behind the counter. They handed her the card and waited as she turned it over in her hands, peering at it through her round spectacles.
“Oh, yes! I remember. We printed this about a week ago, just the one card.”
“Do you have the sales receipt, so we can get the buyer’s information?”
“Oh yes, here, wait just a moment.” She pressed her lips together and slowly began typing on her ancient computer. “My grandson set up everything electronically, but it takes me so long to do anything anymore.”
“That’s fine, Ma’am. Do you remember what the customer looked like?”
“No, he put the order in over the telephone.”
“Anything about his voice then?”
“He was so sweet and patient! While I tried to put the order in I talked about my grandchildren and he was very polite. I wish more young people could be as courteous as him.”
Iwaizumi slipped his hat off and swiped his hand through his hair. As much patience as their elusive thief must have had, Daichi’s partner was a little short with it.
“Here it is, I’ll print it out for you.”
“Thank you, ma’am. Oh, how did he pick it up?”
“He requested it to be mailed.”
“Do you have the address?”
“It’s on the receipt, you can see for yourself.”
When they finally got the print out from the sales clerk, they could see the order was put in by a Takahashi Haruto with the credit card number below it. They took a quick glance at the address below and groaned.
“Of course, it’s the museum’s address. He had it mailed directly.”
“Good luck to you both! Stop in anytime,” The woman called sweetly as they left with a friendly wave. Once they finally arrived back at the station, they ran the customer’s name and credit card number to find it linked to a dummy account with only enough money for that one transaction, and the name was a stolen identity with only that one transaction linked to the activity. A dead end.
“Well,” Iwaizumi sighed as he leaned back in his chair, “Maybe he won’t be able to get past all that security.”
“Maybe… if we’re lucky.”
Absurdly early the next morning, Daichi was woken up by his cell phone ringing in his ear. It was the station, reporting that they weren’t that lucky. When the curator arrived that morning, he went to check the exhibit and noticed that the diamond sitting in the case was a fake.
With a loud yawn Daichi trudged up the steps to the museum and was nearly accosted by some journalists being held back by other officers. He slipped by without spilling a drop of coffee from the two cups in his hand and wandered inside to find his partner waiting for him.
“So, he got it?” He asked, handing Iwaizumi his wake-up juice.
“Thanks. No alarms tripped, no fingerprints on the glass, nothing yet to indicate how he did it.”
Daichi groaned and wandered further in where Oikawa was fuming at their line-up of security guards.
“You were supposed to be checking on the room every ten minutes!”
“We were, Oikawa-san! You can check the logs, but he must have snuck in in-between times.”
With a glance to each other, Iwaizumi and Daichi wandered over to the case instead of going straight to the furious curator. It was exactly as they were told, nothing was out of place except the diamond was a fake. Even Daichi could tell it didn’t have that same clarity or feeling the original diamond gave off, but that would only be noticed upon close inspection, and he doubted the guards would have been looking that hard on their rounds.
As they sipped their coffee and continued inspecting the case, Oikawa stomped over to them in a huff.
“Completely incompetent. Oh, thank you, Iwa-chan!” He said as he slipped Iwaizumi’s coffee cup from his hand and gulped a bit down. He sighed in relief and ignored the murderous look on the officer’s face. “Find anything yet?”
“Not a thing, but we should look at your security tapes. As long as it was working at the time of the robbery.”
“It was, but I glanced through it already and I’m not sure you’ll find anything useful.”
Daichi’s curiosity was thoroughly peaked by the tone of Oikawa’s voice, and as the three of them huddled in the snug security office to watch the footage, he found out exactly why.
The numbers at the bottom read 0232, marking the time as 2:32 am and just 2 minutes after the last guard had wandered through for a quick check. The room looked completely still, and they held their breath as they waited for the appearance of the thief.
Iwaizumi and Daichi perked up when they spotted him, sauntering through the doorway like he belonged there. The figure was tall and lanky, obviously athletic as shown by the skin-tight, black suit he was wearing. It came all the way up over his head almost like a scuba suit, and over his eyes were a pair of sleek goggles. The only identifiable part about him was the Cheshire Cat grin spreading across his face.
The thief paused as he surveyed the room, and from the way he was turning his head Daichi had the suspicion that he was able to see the laser rotation. His thoughts were confirmed as the thief moved like a nimble cat into the room. With impressive fluidity he contorted his body to avoid the alarms, and a couple times it looked like he would slip and the three of them would gasp in expectation only for the thief to catch himself and get right back into the swing of it.
“Wow,” Daichi whispered, unable to look away from the monitor.
“Put your fuckin tongue back in your mouth, Sawamura.”
“Sorry, it’s just… he’s really flexible,” He said as he cocked his head, a grin spreading on his lips.
Iwaizumi clicked his tongue and focused back on the screen. They all watched as he finally made it to the case and was able to stand still since the alarms didn’t quite reach that point. Instead of getting right to work, the thief decided to do a little victory dance and make a few suggestive gestures to the security cameras.
“Ugh, so rude,” Oikawa grumbled, and Daichi tried not to laugh.
The thief finally got down to business and dropped several small items on the floor. He waited as smoke began to creep up all around him. Soon the entire room had filled with smoke, and Oikawa pressed fast forward a few minutes as the smoke finally cleared. When it finally had, there was no trace of the thief.
“The smoke went away pretty quick.”
“We have a good filtration system, and unfortunately it worked out for the thief. Had the smoke remained just a bit longer our guard would have noticed.”
“Speaking of guard,” Daichi said, turning toward the curator, “Wasn’t there a security guard in here all night?”
“Yes, but he fell asleep on duty,” He hissed, and he suddenly felt really bad for that security guard.
“Can we speak with him?”
“Yes, he’s outside with the others.”
They exited the tiny room and made their way through the halls back to the scene of the crime. Oikawa called out to the guard, who then fumbled his way over nervously, his face as white as a ghost.
“You’re the guard who was supposed to be watching the cameras all night?” Iwaizumi asked, getting straight to the point.
“Y-yes. But I… I fell asleep. That’s never happened to me before, I swear! I even had a good rest right before my shift!”
The man winced and drew his hand up to his forehead, giving it a little massage. Daichi leaned forward and looked him over.
“Are you alright, Sir?”
“I’m fine, just this headache. I’m a little lightheaded too, must be from the stress.”
“Oikawa-san, it’s possible he was drugged. We’ll need to get him tested immediately to see if any of it is still in his bloodstream.
“Good thinking, Officer Sawamura,” A sly voice said behind them, and they turned to see two detectives wandering over. “We’ll be taking over the investigation now, so you two can run along and write out some parking tickets.”
“Detective Miya, Suna,” Daichi greeted curtly. “Why would you be brought in? We’re handling this just fine.”
The two detectives shared a smirk, and Daichi thought he heard Iwaizumi growl next to him. Miya stepped in front of him, standing between him and the security guard.
“Were you? If you were handling it fine, the thief would have never succeeded, now would he?”
“What else were we expected to do? They had a world-class security system in here and their own set of guards checking every ten minutes,” Iwaizumi retorted, and Daichi had to grab his arm before he pounced on the obnoxious pair.
“You’re right, what else would anyone suspect a couple of cops to do but sit on their ass while a thief grabs one of the most valuable diamonds in the government’s possession?”
“Why you son of a--” Iwaizumi grumbled as he grabbed the front of Miya’s shirt, but Suna grabbed his fist to keep him still.
“Easy, Iwaizumi. You can check with your station, but we have been assigned to take over the investigation. You both need to leave.”
“Um, if you don’t mind, I’ll see the officers out,” Oikawa said with a slight bow, and both the detectives gave him a nod. Oikawa gently grasped Iwaizumi’s shoulders and began to guide him out of the room and towards the front of the building, Daichi following close behind.
“I don’t need help walking, Oikawa.”
“I know, but I think you needed help leaving without punching a detective. That temper of yours, Iwa-chan. Listen, I appreciate everything you’ve done, even if it ended up this way. No matter what those detectives say, I’m sure they couldn’t have done anything more than you did. It sounds like you’re just caught up in pointless bureaucracy, something I can identify with.”
Daichi glanced at the pair as they paused at the entrance of the museum. Iwaizumi’s shoulders had completely relaxed, and he gave Oikawa a smile.
“Yeah, I suppose you do. I wish there was more I could do.”
Oikawa’s eyes lit up and he leaned in, his face hovering in front of Iwaizumi’s.
“Well, having dinner with an attractive police officer would certainly make my day better.”
Iwaizumi could only stutter out a response, and Oikawa chuckled as he slipped his business card into the front pocket of Iwaizumi’s uniform.
“See ya later, Iwa-chan! Thank you as well, Officer Sawamura.”
“Tch, you get to be Officer Sawamura,” Iwaizumi grumbled as he stormed down the steps, bypassing the mass of journalists calling out questions and snapping pictures.
“Of course. Why would he give me an adorable nickname when he’s interested in you?” Daichi teased and laughed as Iwaizumi’s cheeks turned a light pink.
“Whatever. You wanna grab some breakfast or something?”
“Nah, I think I’m gonna catch a cab home and get some sleep. Otherwise I’ll never make it through our shift tonight.”
“Fine, see ya later!”
Daichi wandered down the street, resisting the urge to unbutton the collar of his shirt. Even if he was no longer on duty, it wasn’t good for an officer to look shabby in public. He spotted an empty cab ahead and trotted towards it, slipping into the back seat with a groan.
“Where you off to?” The driver chirped, and Daichi winced at his energy for being so early in the morning. As the car began to pull away, Daichi leaned his head against the window.
“Wow, you look exhausted,” the driver said, and Daichi narrowed his eyes at the rearview mirror where the man was smirking back at him.
“And you’re not watching the road.”
The driver snorted and gave his head a flip to get the mess of black hair out of his eyes. “I’ll get you there in one piece, Officer-san. Just relax, and if you fall asleep I’ll wake you up when we get there.”
Daichi sighed and leaned back. The driver flipped through a couple stations until he found one with softer music and Daichi smiled as he finally began to relax. It wasn’t long before his eyes grew droopy and the rocking motion of the cab lured him to sleep.
Daichi’s eyes fluttered open when the cab began bouncing on rougher terrain than a typical street in Tokyo. He sat up and rubbed his eyes just as the car came to a stop and the driver slipped out. He glanced out the window to see they were in the middle of a field without a single sign of the city. His mind was still a little bleary from sleep when his door opened, and the driver leaned his head in with a devilish grin pasted on his face.
“Sleep well?”
“Where are we?”
“In a field.”
“Obviously… why?”
“Because it’s perfect!”
“For what?”
“There’s no better place to get rid of a dead body.”
Daichi froze, and his horror must have shown on his face with the way the driver chuckled.
“Where the hell did you get a dead body?”
The grin slipped away from the driver’s face, and his eyes trailed away with what looked like regret.
“It’s… Sasuke.”
Daichi’s eyes widened and he shoved the other man out of the way while he scrambled over to the trunk. When he threw it open, he groaned as he gazed down at a skeleton staring back up at him through hollow sockets.
“But… you love Sasuke.”
“I know,” The driver replied, shuffling to Daichi’s side.
“You’ve had him since college when you stole him from your anatomy professor.”
The other man sniffed. “I know, but it was the best way to do this.”
Daichi rolled his eyes and began loosening his tie and smirked when a pair of eyes locked onto the movement.
“We couldn’t you just have me transferred? That would be a lot less dramatic than killing me off.”
“That would be no fun, I love drama. Here, let me help with that,” He said as he began unbuttoning Daichi’s shirt while his lips went straight for his neck.
“Tetsu, not now!” Daichi laughed, gently pushing him away but not trying hard enough to succeed. He gasped as he felt Kuroo’s teeth graze his throat and his fingers slide underneath his undershirt. His body shivered under the thief’s touch, and as always when it came to Kuroo, Daichi had to deal with the battle between his head and his dick.
“Mmm, it’s been too long. I missed you.”
“We met up a week ago at the hotel.”
“Six days too long. Oh, ho, ho, what’s this?” He asked as his fingers dipped down the front of Daichi’s pants.
“Where better to keep a jewel than with--.”
“Your jewels? Pfft, Daichi that was worse than my usual ones.”
Kuroo withdrew his hand from Daichi’s pants and held up a carefully wrapped-up lump. He pulled off the thin cloth and was hit with the striking teal color of the Seijoh Diamond glittering in the sunlight. He gave a low whistle while Daichi continued to remove his uniform.
“Hey, you brought my stuff, right?”
“Yeah, your case is on the front seat. We better hurry if we wanna catch our plane, I already have a buyer in place in Dubai.”
“You checked him out?”
“Yup, clean… or dirty as hell, depends on your perspective.”
Daichi snorted and left his uniform for Kuroo to slip onto Sasuke’s bones while he snatched back the diamond. Just as Kuroo said, his case was on the front seat with the hidden compartment for the diamond and his change of clothes. By the time he was fully dressed, Kuroo had placed the uniformed skeleton on the ground and was dousing him in gasoline.
“Ugh, it’s a little crude to use that, isn’t it?”
“Yup, but it’s exactly how that serial killer’s been doing it. Field, drugged, lit on fire with a match and gasoline.”
“That’s good. That’ll guarantee Iwaizumi won’t be taking my case. I feel like he’d be the one person to figure it out. Poor guy.”’
“Why poor?”
“I don’t know, it’s hard losing a partner. He trusted me.”
“You were only there six months.”
“Still, he already told me I was the best he ever had.”
Kuroo set the gasoline can down and glared at him.
“Could you maybe rephrase that?”
“Best partner he ever had.”
“You know, out of context it still sounds like--”
“Shut up, we weren’t sleeping with each other, Idiot.”
“I know, though I did get jealous whenever you guys would hang out.”
“Just as buddies, I promise.”
“Yeah, well it looks like you weren’t really his type anyways. I saw him checking out that curator.”
“Yup. They’re having dinner tonight.”
“Nice! Then he’ll be there to console him after the death of his partner.”
Daichi paused as he was helping Kuroo pack everything up in the trunk.
“Huh… you’re right. Oikawa comforting him after his loss could be just the thing to get Iwaizumi over himself. Look at us, total matchmakers.”
Kuroo cackled as he slammed the trunk shut and slipped out a match.
“You wanna do the honors?”
“No, you do it. Sasuke was your skeleton.”
“True… should I say a few words?”
“Light the damn match, Tetsu.”
“Yes, sir.”
Kuroo struck the match and gave it a toss. The uniformed skeleton erupted in flames, and once they were certain he was entirely engulfed, they scurried back into the cab and circled back to the road.
“What’s the plan for the vehicle?” Daichi asked, tossing his case into the back.
“I have our new one waiting in a vacant lot. It’ll take a while to wipe it down.”
“That’s fine. My shift isn’t til tonight, so we have some time before they realize I’m missing.”
“Well, the sooner we get out of here the better. Our new identities and tickets are in the glove compartment.”
Daichi perked up and pulled them out; it was always fun getting new personas. He set aside the plane tickets to Dubai and opened the first envelope.
“Nakano Ichirō?”
“That’s yours.”
“Not bad, aaaand… Nakano Kenji. We have the same last name, are we pretending to be brothers?
“No, we’re obviously married.”
“You realize it’s only legal in so many countries.”
“It was legal in the country we actually got married in.”
“So, brothers it is.”
“Come on, Ichi! I wanna show off my sexy husband!”
Daichi chuckled, reaching out to grasp Kuroo’s upper thigh.
“Let’s wait til Tahiti then. We can get the honeymoon suite.”
“Woo hoo! Complimentary champagne. I love you Nakano Ichirō.”
“I love you, too… Nakano Kenji.”