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Motherfucking Easter Bunny. That son of a bitch couldn’t be trusted with anything. Nick was sick and tired of picking up the slack for everyone else, but it was Easter, and the Avengers would be awake soon.
Nick really did have a soft spot for those motherfuckers, even if his voice was never lower than 80 decibels around them and his good eye always looked crazed.
So now that SHIELD was officially disbanded thanks to Hydra, he didn’t have to wear the leather all of the time. He could unwind, and wear what he was truly comfortable in. His furry suit. But that meant he was closest thing to the damn absent Easter Bunny around here.
The Avengers and friends woke up around nine in the morning, with the exception of Clint, who was up and about at fucking four o’clock in the morning. So Nick was up at two o’clock sneaking around the goddamn Avengers tower with Easter gifts for everyone.
He hit Clint’s room first in case he got up early. For Hawkeye, Nick dumped a shit ton of that plastic Easter grass in the corner of the room in case the motherfucker wanted to build a nest or some shit. He threw a bundle of new fancy arrows on top of the pile in case the bitch was offended by his hilarious joke.
After that he decided to work his way from the top down, starting with Pepper and Tony’s room. All he had for Stark was a chocolate bunny, but he decided to break it into two, one portion roughly twelve percent of the whole thing. That piece he gave to Tony. He threw the larger chunk in the tastefully decorated basket full of New York Times bestsellers and some calming tea Nick found quite soothing. That he left for Pepper.
Bruce’s room was his next stop, and he glanced around before setting a brick of weed on his dresser, along with some new lab goggles because, ‘The dude liked science and shit.”
Steve and Bucky’s rooms were a few floors down, so he snuck into Steve’s first to find it empty. He rolled his good eye. “Fucking gay-ass soldiers.”
He found Bucky’s room and decided to just leave both baskets there. For Steve he filled a basket with movies and CDs that he had scribbled about in his stupid-ass list, and matching cooking apron and oven mitts that resembled the American flag. Bucky’s basket was rather small, but packed with various hair products and some nice new eyeliner for the emo to try out.
As he snuck out of the room, he turned back and whispered, “Sleep tight, homos.”
Natasha’s room was his next stop, and he skipped the basket altogether, quickly dropping off a brand new knife set and leaving before he caught a bullet in the head from the light sleeping assassin.
Coulson’s room was easy to find, with its sign on the door that read, ‘Keep Out…Unless you’re Steve or Bucky.’ Coulson received exactly what he would want…Some collectible Captain America playbills and one old, original Captain America movie film…along with a lock of Bucky's hair Nick had obtained earlier in his room.
He smiled fondly when he reached Hill’s room and saw her sleeping beneath her SHIELD emblem poster, her old uniform clutched tightly to her chest. He quietly set a light blue furry suit on the armchair in the corner. A suit rather similar to his own. "Goodnight, Daddy's little Furry."
When he finished with them he stumbled across Galaga Guy’s room. “Oh yeah. This motherfucker. Does anyone even know what this dude is into?” He left him a basket of actual Easter shit because he would have felt bad for leaving him out, and what the fuck else was he supposed to do?
Finally he returned to Stark’s famous lounge and watched the sunrise, waiting for his little ones to awaken and find their special Easter gifts.