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Killian Jones had already lived a long and stressful life before he even met Emma Swan. But in all his years of pirating and general villainy, he’d never quite experience anything so terrifying as being left alone for the first time with his new born child.
Not that he didn’t adore his daughter. It was just that he still felt so new at the whole parenting gig, and he didn’t want to see what would happen if he were to mess up.
He followed his wife around like a lost puppy dog, his blue eyes wide with fear.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, love? You know there’s nothing I love more than spending time with Hope but you’re usually right there. Y’know, to save the day if I mess up in any way.”
Emma chuckled, setting her bag down as she spun to look at him.
Her eyes gleamed with amusement. As if his little panic attack was just the cutest thing in the world to her.
“Killian listen to me,” She began, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder, “You’ve been the most amazing father to Hope these past 3 months. I’ve seen you with her, the way you two just click… you don’t need me here to take care of your daughter. Trust me.”
Her words were comforting, but his anxieties still felt crippling.
Sure, he had survived countless dances with death. He’d been right by Emma’s side for just about every viscous attack on the town over the years and had done so with absolutely no fear. But this? This was so much bigger than all of that. One little slip up, one miniscule mistake and he could risk hurting his sweet, vulnerable little girl.
Emma handled motherhood with such grace and bravery. She’d feed Hope, comfort her when she cried, keep her clean and happy at all times all while still keeping the town safe as sheriff. She was like some kind of superhero. It was a role he didn’t feel he could live up to.
He grasped her hand in his. Part of him hoped that if he held on tight enough maybe she wouldn’t be able to leave him.
“I want you to have this time away with your mother. Really. But I’m scared I can’t do all this without you,” With one small yank, he had her pressed against his chest, “You’re my teammate, Swan. What’s a man to do without his partner?”
She smiled up at him, then stood on her toes to kiss him.
He never wanted the moment to end. Even a weekend apart from her was far too long.
“You and Hope are gonna be fine, ok? And when I get back, maybe we can get my parents to watch her so you and I can have some time away too.”
The last part was said flirtatiously, her green eyes bright with mischief. The woman wanted to torture him apparently.
“I love you more than anything… but that was a cruel way to part with me, darling.”
All she did was laugh, smirking at him just before she closed the door.
He might have just been crazy. But he swore he heard her whisper “That was the point” from behind the door.
He really did marry the most wonderfully challenging woman in the world.
Just as he had the thought, Hope began to wail loudly in her room.
Like mother, like daughter.
Ok. He thought. I can do this.
After a long, strangely harrowing walk down the hallway, he finally made it to the nursery. His daughter’s cries were piercing. Each one shot through him like a bullet, making his heart hurt tremendously.
It must be terribly exhausting. Wanting something so desperately but not being able to articulate it.
“Hello, button.” He cooed softly at her as he picked her up.
Her crying didn’t cease. If anything, it got worse once she was out of her crib.
Her little hands flailed all around even as he bounced her gently just as he’d learned to do over the last few months, her chest rising and falling rapidly between her sobbing.
After that, he went through all the other steps he’d learned from the books. Looked to see if she needed changed, thought over whether it was time for a feeding, checked for a fever. No, no and no. He felt completely lost.
Her weeping made his heart shatter. When Emma cried he could comfort her with a few simple words. Hope, on the other hand (Or hook), didn’t seem to want to stop for anything.
Would it be normal if he started crying too?
He sat down in the rocking chair he and Emma had set up just beside her crib. Rocking back and forth gently, he settled Hope in his arms so he could look at her.
“Shh. Won’t you stop crying for daddy?”
She didn’t oblige. Her large blue eyes that were so much like his own shimmered with tears. The only light in the room came from a dull night light on the opposite wall, but no darkness could hide the agony on her little round face.
Emma hadn’t been gone for ten minutes and he was already failing.
“I know I’m not your mum and I don’t have that comforting cinnamon smell or the long, soft hair that makes you giggle when it tickles your little face. But I love you just as much as she does, little one. And I’ve got some things of my own to offer.”
She didn’t seem convinced, so he proceeded to name said things off. Because, at 3 months old, Hope could definitely understand every word he was saying and process them logically.
“You see, while daddy wasn’t able to carry you for 9 months, I did make sure you and your mother were well taken care of. Do you remember that, button? And yes, it’s true that your mummy can tickle the best, but I give the best kisses,” He placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head to prove his point, “And, I don’t know if you remember, but you used to love when I sang for you while you were in your mother’s stomach.”
He repositioned her so that her cheek rested on his shoulder, his good hand spreading out across her downy head.
With a deep breath, he began to sing softly in her ear.
“Tomorrow is uncertain, who knows what it will bring?”
Finally, Hope’s cries turned to whimpers. A large smile spread across his face. Closing his eyes, he continued the tune effortlessly.
“But one thing is for sure, love, with you I have everything. And happily ever after is the way these stories go…”
His voice was like some kind of magic balm for her. Her eyes fell shut and, slowly, she drifted to sleep.
Killian continued to hum the melody as he shifted her so that he could look at her face. His heart felt full, seeing her resting so peacefully in his arms.
He and Emma had accomplished many great things together. But she was by far his favorite.
“A happy beginning now is ours.”
His lips pressed, once again, to the top of her head. The love he felt for her was the most unique and special feeling he’d ever experienced.
With his child resting safely in his arms, Killian began to fall asleep too.
Emma was right. If there was one thing Killian Jones was born to do, it was to love and protect this little girl in his arms.
+++
Hope smiled up at her dad as he swung her back and forth carefully. A beautiful, toothless smile that had his heart ready to leap out of his chest.
“Wait till your mother sees you in this new outfit we got for you, little one. She’s gonna ask me to be your new personal shopper.”
Killian was maybe too proud of the sailboat onesie and red tutu he’d purchased for Hope. It was, after all, the first thing he’d gotten for her without Emma there to help. And, not that he was bragging, but he felt as though he did a pretty darn good job. She looked unbelievably adorable.
After the mishap of the first night, the two of them didn’t have any more troubles. Killian handled every cry, feeding, diaper change and every little thing in between like a total pro.
It was probably too early to tell, but Killian was pretty positive she was already a daddy’s girl.
“There’s my two favorite people.”
Killian turned on his heel, his smile stretching from ear to ear when he saw his wife.
He’d figured out how to parent on his own just fine, but that didn’t mean he didn’t miss having his teammate by his side.
“Emma,” He breathed, leaning in to kiss her, “I missed you.”
You’d think the two of them hadn’t seen each other for years. They clung to one another, Hope settled comfortably between them.
“I missed you too. And I missed my little girl.”
She took Hope from his arms, peppering her chubby cheeks with kisses.
Hope seemed to miss her just as much. She gave her mother the same wide, gummy smile she’d given him, giggling as Emma’s hair dusted across her face.
Emma was the most amazing mother. He could watch her and Hope together for hours and never be bored.
“Hope look at you,” Emma gasped, “Did daddy get you a new outfit?”
“Aye, I did. Now our little sailor looks the part.”
If Killian was proud of himself before, he was down right arrogant now. Emma’s approving nod and appreciative smile had him feeling on top of the world.
“When I left, you were having a mental breakdown and now you’re dancing around in the living room and buying cute outfits. It’s almost as if I was 100% right about you being the best dad in the world and thinking you were ridiculous for freaking out.”
“Ok, ok, no need to rub it in.” He teased as he came to wrap his arms around her.
The three of them just stood there for a while. Completely satisfied sitting in silence so long as they were together.
His lips rested just above Emma’s ear, her body leaning into him until he was supporting her weight completely.
“Did you have a nice weekend away, my love?”
“It was ok but I have to be honest…” She tilted her head up to look at him, “I thought about you and Hope non-stop the entire weekend. Mom had to stop me from coming home early.”
A deep chuckle rumbled throughout his entire body.
Hope laughed too, the cute sound momentarily distracting the both of them.
To say that they were crazy for their baby girl would be an understatement.
“I think it’s safe to say neither one of us is going to be able to leave for too long again. At least not until Hope goes off to college.”
“Agreed.”
The three Joneses stood there for a long time. Completely content to just be together.
When they parted with Hope for the night and it was just the two of them, Emma nestled snugly in his arms as she slept, Killian couldn’t help but think about the words of the song he’d sung to Hope.
With them, he truly did have everything.