Chapter Text
Pretty stars glistened innocently in the navy sky, their quaint sparkles a striking contrast to the ugly, self-loathing, disgusting thoughts swirling around in the teen model’s head.
“Kid?”
Adrien started at the delicate rasp from his kwami.
He turned expectantly.
“Do you need to run?”
Adrien could not find his voice, and opted for a simple nod.
The lightness that usually came with his transformation was missing, and he almost cried. The fake smiles and unattainable standards did not disappear like usual.
He did not hear the flutter of wings over the tired thoughts ringing in his head.
Chat Blanc
“No.” He breathed.
I am Hawkmoth
“No...” He whispered again, “No.”
His warm, yet hollow eyes turned purple as his suit became white.
“No!” Came a tortured yell, before Hawkmoth gained his control.
-
Chat Blanc found himself sitting atop a building not far from a billboard of his civilian self.
“I hate you.” He tried, but little more than a pitiful wail came out.
“I hate you.” He voiced again, this time a mangled, thick whisper escaping his lips.
He readied himself to go launch himself over to the Agreste Manor and dear God, he could just kill Gabriel, before he heard the soft thud of feet landing on the roof.
His cheeks were wet, and he turned to meet her with a mixture of disbelief and relief, and sorrow pooling underneath a deadly gleam.
“Ladybug?”
He looked at her with a confused expression melting beneath his mask as his right eye briefly twinkled with green.
He gasped through a cry.
“Oh, God,” Ladybug supplied in response, “Kitty, what happened to you?”
Both of his eyes returned to green and he shook his head, and gasped as though he were drowning.
“Were you akumatized?” She knew the answer, but she refused to believe it without his confirmation.
She received a sob in affirmation.
“W-where is it?”
He let out a ragged breath, and dropped his gaze.
“It’s not- It’s… Ladybug...” He gasped out, something not short of desperation tainting his every word.
Ladybug’s stomach twisted in that ugly way it did when she knew something was wrong. “Chat? Where is the Akuma?”
He shook his head vigorously, more tears somehow finding their way down his face. He pointed to his head.
Ladybug had barely let out a breathy, “No…,” before he was backed against the wall clutching his head in pain. His eyes were screwed shut, but it did nothing to hide the fact that Hawkmoth was in his thoughts.
He forced his eyes open after a minute, and the light purple that again dominated made Ladybug sick.
“Hello, Ladybug~,” He purred, stalking forward. She shivered as his hand grazed her arm, his mouth singing praises about her ‘pretty little earrings’.
It was not until he looked into her blue eyes, that he let out a choked “No,”.
Both of his eyes returned to the familiar sunny spring green that Ladybug had always loved.
“Chat?”
He looked up to meet her gaze, his mouth slightly dropped, and tears clouding his gaze. There was no noise between them, save for his ragged breath.
His lower jaw trembled, as a purple butterfly framed his face, and one eye popped back to purple.
Chat Noir let out a strangled cry, and whispered a chorus of ‘No’s.
With both eyes once again green, he looked back to Ladybug. There was a sorrow in his eyes deep enough for her to drown in, but she could not look away from the green she loved so much. There was a haunting familiarity in them, and she knew her partner was fighting his hardest.
“Lucky Charm.” Her eyes never left her partner as she whispered, the hollow sound so different from the usual enthusiasm with which she called upon the same power.
A knife fell into her hands, and it’s delicate ivory handle made it pretty enough to almost mask how disgusting of a tool it was. It clattered to the ground as both of her hands chose to move to cover her mouth, when her vision highlighted only Chat Blanc. He seemed to understand the intention of the tool, as well.
“Please,” He begged with a watery smile that matched his eyes, but no sound came out. He tried again.
“Please,” He voiced, barely whispering.
“I c-can’t… You know I can’t…,” She answered, shaking her head violently, “Don’t make me do this.” She whispered through a sob.
He opened his mouth, as if to tell her something, but closed it again before the thought could be completed. He paused for a second as he looked at his boots, and with an almost imperceptible shake of his head, he whispered, “I’m sorry... I’m sorry. Please don’t watch this.”
She looked confused, “Watch what, Chat?” She sniffed.
He let out a small sob before mumbling, “Cat-”
He barely had time to start the word before he doubled over in pain, clutching his head as both eyes returned to their unnatural purple.
“You do not get to do that, Chat Blanc. What about the power? The freedom?”
“N-No...” He bit out, one eye flashing green.
“I’m afraid you do not get to decide that for yourself. You are mine. I control you. Now give me Ladybug’s miraculous!
Chat Blanc crumpled to the floor, clutching his head with a heart-wrenching scream. The scream echoed with years worth of bottled-up loneliness, frustration, and sadness. The blood-curdling yell alone would have turned Ladybug into a sobbing mess, had she not been one already. She wanted to help him, but there was no way how.
She met his eyes, one a stubborn purple, and the other filled with a swirling green. Something that sounded like an ugly mix between a hiccup and a whimper left his lips, before he forced out a breathy, “Please.”
“No,” Ladybug cried, backing up. “No. No, no, no. You don’t get to do this to me.”
A hand flew up to her mouth as she watched him curl into a ball. His pained, “Cataclysm,” Pierced the night sky, and she swore she heard it’s echo for years.
It was only after the butterfly, as ugly as the thoughts that had once swirled through Chat’s mind, left, that Ladybug found it within herself to run to her partner. Her knees buckled, and she found herself sobbing against his still-warm chest.
“No...” She whispered, “You don’t get to do this to me.”