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Regularly risking your life for the lives of other people changed something inside of you.
That was something Rodney began to understand as time went on, after he’d watched John, Teyla, and Ronon do heroically idiotic things all for the sake of saving one another. Rodney sometimes scoffed at their actions in hindsight, but he’d been guilty of it too. Those were the moments when his body and mind chose to fight, instead of fly, because the risk to his life was worth it if it meant his teammates lived.
Rodney figured that John and Ronon understood the feeling all too well from serving in their respective militaries - it was a bond unlike any other, knowing that the person standing next to you was willing to give up their life if it meant saving yours. And after watching Teyla hold her ground like the powerful warrior she was, Rodney knew that she had been fighting for her people since the moment she picked up a weapon. Protecting others was ingrained into her very nature.
After particularly stressful missions, when the fight was over and everyone returned safe and sound to Atlantis, Rodney couldn’t help but want to...touch. He wanted to slap Ronon on the back, give John a little shove after making yet another bad joke, wrap an arm around Teyla’s shoulders and squeeze. Those small touches reminded Rodney that all of them were alive, solid, real, and still together.
Eventually, the line between what seemed normal and not normal to Rodney became blurred.
Sometimes when he said something particularly oblivious, Teyla would laugh and wrap her arms around him in a proper hug. When she glanced up at him, Rodney saw her eyes were filled with what seemed to be genuine fondness. She always looked after him too, her hand squeezing Rodney’s shoulder as she asked when was the last time he’d eaten.
When John played Walking Gene in the lab, he would poke and prod Rodney in the places he suspected Rodney was ticklish, like his love handles and under his arms and just below his kneecaps. He always smiled whenever Rodney jerked or giggled involuntarily. Whenever Rodney took too long staring at his computer screen, muttering to himself, John could always snap him out of it by resting his chin on Rodney’s shoulder and asking him what was wrong.
After Ronon convinced Rodney to do some actual combat training, he constantly found himself flat on the mat after Ronon executed some flawless move to bring him to the ground. But Ronon always offered him help standing up, and he didn’t let go of Rodney’s hand right away once Rodney was upright again. Ronon's strong and reassuring touch trailing up and down Rodney's back when he asked if Rodney was okay, if he wanted to try again, made Rodney keep going when he wanted to quit.
Rodney hadn’t known how to define what he truly felt toward his teammates until he was thrown unwillingly through the Stargate and landed with a hard thud on the floor of the gate room.
AR-1 had been looking to establish contact on this planet, knew they could run into hostiles, but these people had been cold, vicious, had taken hostages and sent back a list of demands beaten into Rodney’s brain.
Rodney hadn’t chosen to be the one sent back, of course. He’d been picked, and he knew there was nothing John, Ronon, or Teyla could do as the guards dragged him away because they were all restrained, stripped of all of their weapons and most of their clothes.
As Rodney laid on the cold, hard floor, gasping and ushering air back into his lungs, he knew that he loved them. He loved all of them and he needed to get them all back before -
Elizabeth ran to his side. “Rodney, what happened?”
Rodney looked at her, eyes wide with panic, but his brow set with determination. “They’ve taken the rest of the team hostage, and they have a list of demands. If we don’t give them what they want, they’ll kill them all.”
Of course, now that there was a larger military presence on Atlantis, Major Lorne had no issue directing the Marines to stealthily rescue AR-1. He watched a stream of Marines pour through the gate, and within an hour or so, they poured back in, followed by Lorne, followed by John, Teyla, and Ronon. They looked weary, but appeared uninjured.
Rodney’s heart leapt and he pushed his way through the incoming flood of Marines to reach them. He reached John first and pulled him into a desperate hug. His breath hitched in his chest when John’s arms encircled him and pressed their bodies close together.
Rodney began to babble. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I should have fought, I should have done something -”
“Hey,” John murmured in Rodney’s ear, “It’s okay. We’re all right. Everyone’s all right.”
Rodney buried his face into the crook of John’s neck.
“I’m so...glad.”
He exhaled and felt the tension leaving his body. Rodney looked up and saw Ronon and Teyla. He withdrew from John and hugged Ronon next. Ronon wrapped his arms around Rodney and rested his chin on top of Rodney’s head. He felt other arms embracing him and glanced to his right. Teyla was hugging the two of them from the side and John was hugging Rodney from behind.
It was Teyla who said, “We are glad you are all right too.”
“Yeah,” Ronon whispered, and Rodney felt Ronon’s lips kiss the top of his head.
Rodney pulled away, and with all of them standing so close to one another, he felt dizzy and warm and tingly and he wanted to be out of the gate room and away from prying eyes.
“Can we go somewhere else?”
John chuckled. “I was about to suggest the same thing.”
Later that night, after food and beer and laughs and honesty, the four of them ended up crammed together in John’s bed, John pressed up against Rodney’s back, Teyla snuggled up with her head resting next to Rodney’s shoulder, and Ronon curled up behind Teyla, his arm draped across her hip.
The line between normal and not normal had been erased, and for the first time in his life, Rodney felt like he had found home.