Chapter Text
IAmAFailure. "What a stupid name..." Jungkook thought when he saw it for the first time.
No one knew who they were but everyone hyped them up.
Jungkook never thought that he would visit a blog about relationship problems. However when he saw the link on instagram, twitter, facebook and nearly everywhere else, he couldn't resist.
People were saying how hilarious it is, how the person only spoke the truth and some even wrote that it helped them. So Jungkook decided to test it out and see if it's true. He was just curious, nothing else.
Because Jeon Jungkook did not have relationship problems.
When there is no relationship, there can't be a problem, right?
After typing in the address, he was soon greeted by a nicely designed website. A pastel colored background mixed with a kursive font and adorable pictures of cutely drawn animals with.....middle fingers? Okay.
At the side he saw a menu bar and when he clicked on it there were about five different categories. Not knowing what to do, he clicked on LESSONS and then on NR.1.
This should be interesting, right?
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
- Lesson 1 : Sleepovers
- Do NOT sleep over at your best friends place, when you are still a hormone wrecked teenager.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Youth.
We love and hate it, right?
It is a stage that we sometimes regret the most.
Imagine: You are 15 years old, high school has just started and your friends invite you to a sleep over.
Sounds great!
Now imagine this: You are 15 years old and your hormones act really weird and you do NOT have a crush on your best friend, who invites you to a sleep over.
What do we do? We accept! Of course!
Why?
Because we are 15 years old and our brain doesn't function the way it should.
Because puberty knocked on the door a few years ago and told us to grow the fuck up, so it can destroy us.
We accept.
Now, The sleepover:
Innocent teenagers in one room.
Maybe some scary stories? Maybe some fun games? Maybe a kiss?
Everything can happen.
But it NEVER happens to you.
Because you are just the one, who does NOT have a crush on one of the people in the room.
Because luck is never on your side.
You wish, you beg, you hope.
However in the end some other kid get's the chance to kiss your NOT crush.
And what do we do now?
Of course! We smile.
Why?
Because that's what our stupid brain tells us to do!
And what do we do with this information?
Nothing!
Because we will go there anyway.
Because there are poeple we want to hang out with.
(ಸ‿ಸ)
Now, get your pen and paper and write down the following!
Sleepovers are dangerous because:
1. Your NOT crush could (will) be there
2. You could embarrass yourself (I refuse to go into details here, I regret nothing)
3. You could get drunk ( Tip only for advanced teens and up)
4. You could tell someone a secret you (don't) have
5. Your NOT crush could tell you that they likes someone, because they refuse to take dare in truth or dare and has to spill everything
6. Truth or Dare
7. Everything above in one ( Also known as the All-Kill)
Puberty is evil, I tell you that.
Now take this information and do whatever the hell you want to do with it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
IAmAFailure over and out.
Bye~
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"The fuck?" Jungkook mumbled as he closed his laptop.
The first lesson was...weird? He could imagine how teenagers would react to it, though. Puberty was scary and Jungkook honestly didn't know if he ever got out of it.
Having a crush while being emo nearly 24/7 was probably the worst thing that could happen to you but Jungkook never experienced it, so he wouldn't know.
Jungkook put his laptop away and walked to the kitchen/living room of his single room apartment. With a smile on his face his thoughts shifted to his younger self. Sleepovers were one of his favorite activities back then. He often invited his friends and hung out with them. Now as an adult, he missed it. Because as an adult you go to college parties, you drink, you have fun. And Jungkook did all of it.
Sure, sometimes his friends stayed at his place and fell asleep somewhere but it wasn't the same anymore.
There was just a few things he never wanted to do: One night stands or random make out sessions. He was to shy for it, too unexperienced and it wasn't his nor his friends style to get drunk and jump at a stranger just for a good night, that he would probably regret. Jungkook closed his eyes and shook his head, bringing his thoughts back to more important things.
He read the lesson to get an first impression, a hunch on why that person was so popular but the feeling wasn't there just yet.
Maybe he had to read a few more to understand it.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Bonus: IAmAFailure's introduction.
Hello my heartbroken friends~
My name is Failure and I'm here to introduce myself!
To be honest my name is kinda lame, right? I made this website years ago for a different purpose but got attached to it.
It fits me pretty well tho.
I made this blog about two years ago, I think.
At first there were no lessons or stuff like that, only some crappy puns and rants.
I bet none of you even remembers lol
Anyway, I can tell you some stuff about me but not everything!
I'm in my twenties and obviously Korean (•‿•)
Mhhh....If you read a few lessons already you must know that I'm a college student with (no) passion.
I love kaomojis and I will never stop using them! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻┻
What else can I tell you?
Oh!
Everything I write in my blog (minus one or two things) happened to me in real life.
I know there are always good and not so good people out there and most of you probably think that I don't know what I'm talking about but I do, I really do.
So...Please keep in mind that I'm real, I'm not a robot and I do have feelings.
Even when I write about it in a funny way, there things that hurt me, they still do.
I made this blog to rant about those feelings, to tell you and myself that you don't have to hold onto those feelings, if they hurt you.
I want to give you the courage to tell yourself, or someone else the truth, your feelings, your worries.
I hope I was or will be able to help you :)
WOW...
That got deeper than I wanted but deep isn't bad so fuck it!
I hope you learned a few things about me, even if it wasn't much!
Have a great day and have fun reading my lessons!!!! (❁´◡`❁)