Chapter Text
“Okay, please explain why you two turned up at my door at 3AM, both of you in your pyjamas and with a bag as if you want to crash at my place?”, Ryuu asked and rubbed his temple. He felt a headache coming, not only because he had been woken up at this time of the night, but also because he was not sure if he was ready to hear about whatever happened to make his high-school friends come to his apartment.
“We were planning to stay here”, Gaku answered and took a step forward, “can we come in?”
“No!”, Ryuu said immediately, “you have a very nice apartment yourselves. I’d get it if you fought again and one of you had to crash here, but why are the both of you here?!”
“Gaku destroyed the kitchen while trying to make pancakes”, Tenn said, “We can’t go into the apartment until everything has been cleaned up and secured by the fire department.”
“You made the pancakes though”, Gaku mumbled.
”I wasn’t the one who wanted to eat pancakes in the middle of the night. And I surely didn’t try to extinguish the pan with water.”
“I didn’t set the pan on fire trying to make pancakes!”
Ryuu sighed. He had a feeling that that headache wouldn’t go away for a while now.
Living with Gaku and Tenn wasn’t as bad as Ryuu had imagined it to be. The two of them had taken Ryuu’s ex-flatmate’s bedroom, because when Tamaki and Sougo had moved out to live in their own apartment they hadn’t taken their king sized bed with them. He did have to deal with Tenn and Gaku’s fighting in the evenings sometimes, but they mostly got along – they were dating for a reason. They left Ryuu alone unless they needed something, or they wanted to watch a movie together (“Just like when we were in high-school”, Gaku had said and Tenn had slapped his head, “don’t talk like we’re old men, we graduated about three years ago”) and they debated about which movie to watch.
Tenn was occupied with his studies and Gaku was busy working at his shop, so they weren’t really home during the days.
Ryuu’s great secret went undetected for the first few days, but then the first weekend came.
“Don’t you have an exam to study for or something?”, Ryuu asked. Tenn was sitting on the sofa in the living room, reading a book.
“No”, he simply answered and flipped a page, unbothered.
“Then can’t you go read in a different room? Please?”
“But I’m comfortable.”
Ryuu gave up. When Tenn got like this there was no way he could be moved. At least Gaku wasn’t here-
“I’m home~”, said Gaku from the entryway, “There were no costumers coming so I decided to close up early today.”
-damn. Ryuu was fucked.
“Can’t you two like… go on a date spontaneously?”, Ryuu asked. He really was grasping the last straws.
“Why do you want us gone from here so much? Is your secret girlfriend coming to visit or something?”, Tenn asked.
He had even put his book away.
“No!”, Ryuu denied quickly, “It’s just another student from my pedagogics class. We study together on Saturdays.”
“A study date?”, Gaku asked, while he was putting his outside clothes away.
”It’s not a date!”
“Then why are you making such a fuss?”, Tenn sat up.
“Yeah, what is so important about that mysterious classmate of yours?”
“Why is the only time when you two aren’t arguing when you are teaming up against me?”
“We don’t argue that often”, Tenn said quickly.
Gaku rolled his eyes: ”Oh yes, we do. It’s getting a little tiring actually.”
The two fell into their usual banter. Ryuu hoped they’d take the matter to the bedroom while he went to take a quick shower, but when he came back to the living room a disaster was waiting for him.
“So you’re Ryuu’s secret boyfriend?”, Gaku asked the bespectacled man who was clearly confused.
“How old are you? Do you have a stable income? Do you intend to marry Ryuu?”, Tenn asked and handed the newcomer a mug of tea… which was the same one Ryuu had drunken from about twenty minutes ago.
”Tenn, that’s my mug! Don’t give a used mug to a guest. And why are you two acting like you’re my parents meeting my significant other!? I already told you that he’s a classmate.”
Ryuu sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. “Yamato-kun, these two are my high-school friends. Tenn, Gaku, this is Nikaido Yamato.”
Tenn’s eyes widened. ”Nikaido Yamato?! Ryuu’s secret boyfriend is Riku’s roommate?!”
“I am Riku’s roommate, what about it?”, Yamato asked. He was looking even more confused by the minute.
”Oh no, his brother got involved”, mumbled Gaku, “now he’s really going to be the concerned parent.”
While Tenn began to ask about his younger twin brother’s eating habits, Gaku pulled Ryuu into the kitchen.
”Listen, if he’s really your study buddy go outside and study in a café or something. In here you won’t get anything done.”
“He really is my “study buddy”, as you put it. And yes, I am going to do exactly that. I’m looking forward to when you two can finally return to your own apartment. I used to be able to study in peace in my own home.”
Ryuu turned around and went back to the living room, where Tenn was still burying Yamato under an abysmal amount of questions about his younger twin brother, who apparently happened to live with Yamato.
“Yamato-kun? We won’t be able to study here. Let’s find somewhere else to do it”, Ryuu said.
”Alright”, Yamato was quick to agree, “I know a nice café. Some students from our college who are my friends are working there too. Let’s go there.”
After the door of the apartment had closed behind the two men, Gaku stepped next to Tenn. Their eyes locked.
”You know what I’m thinking, right?”, Tenn asked.
”Of course”, Gaku answered, a grin forming on his face, “We’re definitely following them.”
“I know why I’m dating you”, Tenn said and smiled, “We should wait for a minute, but we can already put on our shoes. I know the café Riku’s roommate was talking about.”
”As expected of you.”
”It’s near campus, that’s why I know. They sell decent donuts.”
“They must be really good, for you to praise them.”
“There’s room for improvement”, Tenn said and shrugged, “alright, that was enough time. They won’t notice when we follow them now.”
“Are you seeing what I am seeing?”
“Ryuu is blushing, isn’t he? Pinch me, so I know that this is not a dream.”
Tenn reached out to pinch Gaku’s cheek.
”Ouch! I didn’t mean that literally you idiot! With that bruise my co-workers will think I’m in an abusive relationship.”
“No, they’ll just think your usual flirting got rejected in a harsh way, now continue to watch Ryuu.”
“Tenn-nii?”, a sudden voice interrupted the two of them.
Gaku and Tenn both turned around and stared at the newcomer.
”’Tenn-nii’? Is this your brother, Nanase-san?”, the blue haired person next to the red haired one asked, “why is your brother hiding behind the plants in front of Nii-san’s café?”
“None of your business”, Tenn said, “If Izumi Mitsuki is your brother you are Izumi Iori? I’ve heard a lot about you. Are you two on a date?”
“Your face is scary, Tenn. Let’s go before Ryuu spots us, we’ve seen enough anyway.”
“You’re going already, Tenn-nii?”, Nanase Riku sounded sad, “I was hoping we could talk a little! You never respond to my texts properly.”
“Wouldn’t want to interrupt your date with Izumi Iori”, Tenn spat and grabbed Gaku’s wrist, “We’re leaving. Gaku and I wanted to have a date night too.”
Riku’s face was as confused as Izumi Iori’s, but he waved after them and told them to have fun on their date.
“He’s your brother, you know. You could be nicer.”, Gaku said on their way home.
”Shut up”, was Tenn’s only answer. His hand let go of Gaku’s wrist, only to tangle their fingers together.
”So about that date…”
”You know that that was a lie. We’re not having a date; we’re having a strategy meeting.”
”I’m fine with that too.”
When Ryuu came home the apartment was silent. There was no light in any room and at first he thought that Gaku and Tenn had both gone somewhere, maybe to their own apartment again...
But then someone cleared their throat behind him and all of his hopes for a peaceful evening disappeared.
"Ryuu, we need to talk", Gaku said and flipped a light switch. The lamp on the table blinded Ryuu and he tried to cover his eyes with his fingers, but even that was not enough. Where did they get such a bright lamp all of a sudden? Ryuu didn't own something like this and he had never seen it in Sougo and Tamaki's leftover belongings either.
"Is this an interrogation from one of those detective shows?", he mumbled, "anyway, what do you want to talk about?"
He just wanted this to be over already.
"Tsunashi Ryuunosuke", Tenn began, his voice deep and serious, "do you have romantic feelings for Nikaido Yamato?"
Ryuu felt his face heat up. From the heat of the lamp of course, not because he was blushing.
"No", he answered.
"So you have a crush on him", Gaku said.
"Did you even listen to what I said? I said I didn't like him."
"We heard you and based on evidence we gathered when we watched you in the café we decided that you’re lying."
"That's right", Tenn said, "and we also decided that we'd help you."
Ryuu rubbed his temples again. He felt like he'd be doing that a lot in the next couple of days. "I don't need your help for anything."
“You don’t know it yet, but you’ll thank us.”
“How do we approach this matter best?”, Gaku asked, “We want it to seem natural, right?”
Tenn nodded: “The best way would be to push them together so they kiss. Then Nikaido Yamato would realize that he likes Ryuu too and they’d start going out.”
“You can’t know if he likes me!”, Ryuu protested, but his friends (?) ignored him.
“That’s not romantic at all, Tenn!”, Gaku said, “We have to do something more dramatic.”
“I thought you wanted a natural way?”, Tenn mumbled.
“Listen to this:”, Gaku pulled out a sheet of paper and began scribbling on it. Ryuu was glad that Gaku hadn’t pursued a career as an artist, because if the two stick figures were supposed to look like Yamato and him…
“Okay, so you two walk around campus from time to time, right? You have classes together. So after that evening class on Thursday Ryuu will ask Nikaido to go on a walk after that class.”
Gaku added another stick figure.
“Then Tenn will approach them, he has to dress up as someone scary looking. And you’ll threaten them. Ryuu will then save Nikaido from the threat, like a knight in shining armor. After this you can safely ask him out. Nobody can resist a noble person like that.”
Ryuu didn’t have to say anything, because Tenn already stood up and walked out of the room.
”Your ideas are stupid”, he called over his shoulder, “there’s no way that would work. And I’m not dressing up as some kind of thug.”
“Your idea is to push them together, that violence already makes you a thug!”
“Hey, stop arguing already”, Ryuu said, “I don’t want this kind of hostile atmosphere at my apartment.”
“If you want us to stop arguing then decide which plan is the better one”, his friends responded in synch. It was as if they had practiced this line. They probably had.
“I’m only doing this because Ryuu is an idiot and bad at decisions”, Tenn said a few days later, “The pushing idea was way better.”
“Yeah, yeah”, Gaku said and gave his boyfriend some clothes, “put these on.”
“Why am I the one dressing up? You’re the tall and scary one out of the two of us.”
“Have you ever looked into a mirror? The scary one is you”, Gaku replied, “And now shut up and put on the costume.”
Tenn sighed deeply. “Where did you even get these?”
“My dad had it in his basement.”
“Why does your father own these things?”
“Just put it on, they’re coming!”
Tenn pulled the hood over his head and grabbed the baseball bat. He turned around and scowled at Gaku a last time.
”You’re going to pay for this.”
“I love you too”, Gaku winked, “that expression is perfect by the way.”
Tenn didn’t pay him any attention anymore but instead stepped out of the shadow of the building they were hiding behind. Gaku stared at his boyfriend’s back. Tenn looked good in whatever he wore, Gaku had known that, but that he’d also manage to make baggy pants and a grey hoodie that was a size too big for him surprised him. The baseball bat completed the look.
Gaku watched as Tenn approached the two men walking along campus.
“This is my territory, assholes!”, Tenn started in his best impression of a stereotypical punk, like they were portrayed in media. With that bat on his shoulders he really looked frightening.
When neither Yamato nor Ryuu reacted, Tenn took another step forward: “I’m going to kill you!”
When he threatened to kill them it finally got through to Ryuu, even though he had been involved in the plan, hell, he had decided that they’d try this approach.
“Come on”, Gaku whispered, “protect him from the big bad Tenn.”
But instead of fighting back or just saying something, anything, Ryuu just stared at Tenn, completely startled and scared. Yamato took a step forward.
“Are you rehearsing?”, the green haired man asked.
Oh, Gaku realized, there was a theatre group at this college. Yamato must be thinking that Tenn was practicing for a role. Maybe the costume had been too much.
Tenn sighed in defeat. His whole stature deflated and he didn’t try to look threatening anymore. “Yeah”, he said, “what do you think?”
“Very realistic. You really scared poor Ryuu here”, Yamato patted Ryuu’s shoulder, “come on, big guy, the theatre kid can’t hurt you.” The fond look Yamato threw the ‘big guy’ didn’t go unnoticed by the two matchmakers.
Ryuu sighed too. Then he nodded and started walking towards their destination again, whatever that destination had been in the first place.
Soon Yamato and Ryuu were out of sight and Tenn returned to the building Gaku was still hiding behind.
“I could hurt him”, Tenn said and threw the baseball bat to the ground, “And I will definitely hurt you; this plan was a bust.”
“I admit that I didn’t take Ryuu’s personality into consideration”, Gaku said and grabbed the baseball bat and took the bag with Tenn’s normal clothing, ”Let’s go back to Ryuu’s apartment.”
Tenn was still wearing his costume that had at least served the purpose of keeping him anonymous. The hood had concealed his face perfectly.
After a few minutes of silent walking, Tenn looked up as if he had just had an idea. ”Are we pushing them together now?”
“No, that’s still not romantic enough!”, Gaku protested, “I think the best approach would be to use real life romance as reference to base our approaches off.”
“So you want to go around and ask for people’s romantic experiences, so you can recreate those romantic situations for Ryuu and Nikaido Yamato?”, Tenn didn’t look like he liked the idea.
“Yes. We’ll start with our own situation. Hold that for a minute”, Gaku said and gave Tenn the bags he was holding. Then he pulled a notebook and a pen out of his pocket, “How did you confess to me?”
“Why are you asking me? You were there.”
“I’m the one taking notes.”
Tenn sighed with irritation.
“It was our second year in high school. You were being an oblivious idiot and while you were obviously crushing on me you didn’t realize a single of the signals I was sending. Ryuu said that I should just tell you, so I wrote you a love letter. I wanted to meet you on the school’s roof to confess.”
“I still have that letter. Your ‘Meet me on the roof after classes end. Don’t bring anyone else’ sounded like a letter of challenge”, Gaku laughed fondly, “It was cute.”
“Shut up”, even though Gaku wasn’t looking at Tenn he knew that his cheeks were dusted by a blush, “You came to the roof after classes ended, like I asked you to, and you looked terrified until you saw me. Then I confessed and now I’m here, wearing a stupid costume to go along with your dumb idea to play matchmaker for our friend. And I have to do all of that only because we had to move in with Ryuu. Because of pancakes.”
“Great, that was perfect. I have good notes now.”
“So we’re writing a love letter next?”, Tenn asked.
“Oh no, we need more references than ourselves. Let’s ask some other couples we know. Like Ryuu’s old roommates. Let’s visit them tomorrow. It’s your day off, right?
Tenn nodded.
“Good, ask Ryuu for their address and text me. I’ll meet you there after work.”
Tenn sighed: “Of course. We’ll just go and ask strangers about their love life.”
“If it’s for Ryuu they’ll let us in and talk to us.”
“I hope so. I’m not dragging your dejected self back to Ryuu’s apartment if they don’t let us in.”
“Believe me, they will.”