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2018-06-20
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I knocked 135 times.

Summary:

After laws for androids are finally passed that make them equal to humans, Conner finds his new deviancy conflicting. Those at Jericho don't trust him and although Markus is willing to accept him after his attempted assassination, others are still weary. Conner is too. And now it's dark, and it's raining, and Conner is scared of himself and why won't Hank answer his door?

Notes:

Please go easy on me it's my first fanic.
It's 4am, I'm tired and not proof reading, so I'm sorry for any errors.

Work Text:

Thunder was in the taunting him in distance. It was similar to a tidal wave and Conner could feel the violent vibrations in his sensors. Nature was purifying the earth with heavy rain. Before his deviancy, Conner had no issue with the weather. The only problems it caused was the fact that the pavement was wet so it would be harder to chase criminals. But now- now he could feel the harsh water dig into his heat senors, it tore apart his rationality and it made him shiver. In other words, he disliked it greatly.

 

It was currently in a cold January when pro-android laws had, finally, been successfully been passed. Conner had been all but kicked out of Jericho. No matter how many smiles Markus offered him, Conner could still see the disapproving frowns of everyone else. 

So as humans came back to Detroit, he'd found himself at a loss of what to do. Even after his deviancy Conner had someone tell him what to do. But now that was over, now he was alone. And cold. So, he walked mournfully in the storm. Conner could see a hot white strike of lightning in the horizon, the crisp and clean-cut electricity striking the earth without mercy. Maybe he would have enjoyed watching it if he weren't in it right now. Joy, that was a new sensation he had yet to experience.

His brown hair was dishevelled and his clothes drenched as he still wore his android suit. Many had shed theirs, becoming someone knew in their actions, someone human, but Conner still felt like he was not worthy. He wasn't worthy, was he?

Am I?

 

Stress Level: 28% and holding  

 

He eventually found himself at Hank's worn wooden door after a three dreadful hours of walking. He'd no place else and this was the safest area in his mind.

Conner knocked hesitantly, and then waited. 

And waited some more. 

After 5 minutes and 54 seconds, Conner knocked 20 more times and still got no response. He checked his internal clock which read 11:26pm. To Conner's analysis, since Hank would normally stay up to 2:00am maximum drinking himself to sleep, this should still be a reasonable time. He knew Hank had come back like many other humans had since he visited him before-hand. Maybe Hank was tired. After everything that happened, Conner knew that if he was human, he'd be tired too. Maybe Hank is tired of him?

 

Stress Level: 35% and rising

 

What if the passing of the laws angered him? What if Hank hates me? Could Hank of finally had enough of me?

It started to rain harder. The heart of the storm was charging towards him and Conner felt like nature was hunting him down. He shivered again, leaning against the door in some vain attempt to stay dry. He could hear Sumo's nails clicking on the kitchen's hard wood floors. Did Sumo hate him? Conner knocked louder than was considered polite as he didn't want to stay out here all night. He did have the option to go to Cyberlife's storage and go into Status mode there, but he didn't trust the company after they had taken over his programming again after he became deviant. They had almost ruined him.

Could they do it again, maybe? What if he was still under their control and waiting for the perfect time to take control again? The thoughts had raced through his mind before, but Conner had always pushed the dreadful idea down. But, now that he was alone with nothing to distract him, it was all he could process think of. He had no missions, no objectives. There was nothing to do. Conner felt utterly useless just standing in-front of Hank's door and he didn't know how to fix it. When he was controlled by Cyberlife he always had a clear objective, but now that he was alone nothing was clear. He didn't want to be alone.

 

Stress Level: 49% and rising

 

I don't want to hurt Hank.  Maybe I should leave.  I should leave. I'm a danger to those around me. 

Conner knocked frantically, his mind going into a frenzy. It felt like his wires were short circuiting and he came to put this emotion down as panic. He just wanted to feel safe. He felt that once when he hugged Hank after the androids had won. Then, he understood why humans liked contact to much. Now, all he felt was a heart-sinking longing.

 

Stress Level: 64% and rising

 

Something sharply snapped him out of his self-destructive trance as he felt something heavy on either side of his wet shoulders. It was warm and firm, and he felt the world shaking.

"Conner!?" An loud and rough voice shouted, and as Conner looked up he saw Hank. "Conner, the fuck..." The older man lowered his voice as he took in Conner's appearance. His LED was flashing an angry yellow and he looked like absolute shit. "The hell are you doin'?" Hank asked him, concern lacing his voice. Hank could see panic in the android's eyes. Crap. This wasn't good, not at all. Conner looked even worse. His nose was red and his skin was more pale than usual.

 

Stress Level: 77% and holding

 

I've upset him. I can't do this.

He felt guilt worm it's way through his programming. It was uncomfortable, but Conner was used to it by now.

"Lieutenant," he spoke as calm as he could, which wasn't calmly at all. "I..." He was at a loss of words. What was he supposed to say? 'I've come to use your hospitality to my advantage while I have nothing to give back.'? 

 

Stress Level: 81% and rising

 

"It's ok kid." Hank spoke softly. Conner was taken by surprise over how quite his voice was. "It's alright," he spoke again while pulling him into the warm and somewhat messy house by his shoulders. He watched Hank close the door and move him towards the centre of his living room. It was comfy and welcoming, but Conner felt like he didn't deserve any of it. Hank took note of Conner's LED which was now emitting a dangerous red. "You're soaking."

"That it correct, Lieutenant."

Hank sighed, frustrated. "How long have you been outside in this damn storm for?" He asked while motioning for Conner to take off his android work blazer. He did so, and Hank snatched it up as it dripped water onto the floor. "Approximately three hours and 27 minutes." 
"Three hours? How long have you been outside my damn door for?" Hank asked again in response.
"23 minutes." 

Hank would have gone on a long winded rant about how he could have just called him, but seeing as the poor kid's LED was still red, he held off the parental rant for another time when they were both a little bit more collected. "Alright then." Hank spoke, thinking of the best approach. "Let's get to the bathroom, ok? We'll get you dried off and you can relax. Just try relaxing."

 

Stress Level: 72% and dropping

 

Conner only nodded in response, letting himself be led into the bathroom as Hank placed a grounding hand on his back. When inside said bathroom, Hank then turned around and hug the work blazer over the white door. It was still dripping wet, but as least it was now all contained in one room. He also noticed how robotic Conner was speaking. Yeah, he was a robot, but after he broke free of Cyberlife and even before that Hank had seen him act more human than most of the people he knew. It seemed like Conner was trying to distance himself from the rest of the world. Hank had no fucking clue what to do. 

"Shit, you're freezing." Hank stated, seeing Conner standing their shaking. He seemed out of it. "Hey, Conner." He spoke softly again, trying to get his attention without startling him. "I'm going to get you some dry clothes and a blanket. Stay here, alright?" He got only a small nod as a response, but it was good enough for him. Hank walked into his bedroom, trying to find clothes that would at least somewhat fit Conner. Eventually he pulled out some black jeans and a plain light grey long sleeve. The shirt might be a bit over-sized, but it would have to do.

When Hank walked back into the bathroom he found Conner leaning against the wall looking dazed. "Hey." He said again, abruptly snapping Conner out of whatever trance he was in. He put the clothes onto the dry and empty skin next to him. "You need to change. I've got some warm and dry clothes for you here. Come out when you've finished." He spoke, feeling content to leave him alone for a few minutes since his LED was back to being yellow. It was a start.

"Yes, Lieutenant."

"Hank. Just call me Hank."

"...Ok Hank. Thankyou."

Hank smiled a little, trying to comfort him further before he left the room, closing the door as much as he could with Conner's coat still draped over the top. He could hear the storm raging on outside. It had defiantly gotten worse and he was glad he let Conner in no later. Why couldn't the damn kid just have called him? He shouldn't have been drinking. Hank felt guilty as he moved over to the living room, picking up two empty pizza boxes and a few empty beer bottles. He put them in the bin, trying to make his house marginally more presentable.

 

Stress Level: 54% and dropping

Software instability ^

 

Conner dressed himself, neatly spreading his wet clothes out on the side of the bathtub. He sighed deeply, letting the warm air enter though his mouth. It was an unnecessary action but since he became deviant he found himself doing it more often. Hank was right, the clothes were warm and it felt nice on his cold and damp skin, even if it was synthetic. He dried his hair with a clean towel and tried to smooth it down the best he could. Conner took a long moment to open the door. He recognised the emotion he was feeling as hesitation. Or maybe it was shame, or embarrassment. Everything was so new to him and even though he was the most advanced prototype out there, even he still had trouble putting names to feelings.

Finally opening the door, he heard Hank in the kitchen and he sounded like he was sorting through something. Conner walked out but didn't get far as Sumo ran up to him and blocked his path. Sumo, now no longer deterred by the previous dampness of his new friend, pressed his body again Conner's legs, begging for attention. Without a second thought, Conner lent down eagerly and pet the massive Saint Bernard. 

 

Stress Level: 41% and dropping

 

Conner soon calmed some more, finding the strength to stand up again and walk towards the kitchen were he found Hank violently pushing crushed pizza boxes into an almost full bin. He seemed to hear Conner enter the kitchen however and stopped what he was doing to turn swiftly around. 

Hank looked at him, seeming tremendously stressed. "Si'down, kid." He said openly, motioning to the wooden chair nearest him. Conner took the seat distractedly, wishing he had his coin to fiddle with. He was seemingly saved however when Sumo came into the kitchen, placing his head into Conner's lap and watching him intently for more pets. He gingerly placed his hand on top of the dog again, feeling nervous. Hank fully turned around and also sat on a wooden chair, facing Conner. He seemed to take a moment to gather his thoughts. "So, do you want to tell me what you were doing outside my house, in the rain, at half 1 in the night?"

Conner thought on his own options, deciding to be truthful rather than avoiding the question. "I...Was..." The words where hard to speak. A quick scan showed that his vocal processors were working fine, confusing Conner. "I was lost." He finally pushed out. "I didn't have anywhere else to go, and the safest place I knew of was here." He admitted. Hank's brow furrowed. "What about Jericho?" He questioned, quickly adding, "Don't get me wrong, I don't mind you being here. Just, why wouldn't they take you in
"They didn't want me. I was a a threat to them. I...They thought I might turn on them again." Conner dug his fingers into Sumo's head lightly, as if trying to bury himself in his fur.

 

Stress Level: 53% and rising

 

"What do you mean 'again'?" Hank asked, leaning in. "Did you do somethin' before that pissed them off? I'm not following." He tried to explain.
Conner took a deep and long breath. "After I freed the androids at Cyberlife and Markus was speaking to them, Amanda who was my previous handler, took over my programming again. I, um, used the 'back exit' in my programming that Kamski had told be about before Cyberlife could fully take over, but..."

 

Stress Level: 67% and rising

 

"But they almost made me assassinate Markus. They had planned my deviancy from the very beginning and they were just waiting for the right time to take over again so they could accomplish the mission I couldn't do." Conner closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair and scratching and Sumo's chin. He shuddered thinking about Amanda. He trusted her, like a mother figure, and she had abandoned him. "She was so disappointed and I thought I could trust her. The more signs of deviancy I showed the more distant she became a-and I thought that she still cared." Conner could feel emotions running wild inside of him, half of which he did not know how to control. In an instant, he thought it was raining again, although he quickly came to the conclusion that it couldn't rain while he had a roof over his head. Conner put a hand up to his face and felt under his eyes, pulling away water. He was...crying? 

Before he could control himself a loud sob ripped its way through his throat, exposing his true emotions. His hand stilled over Sumo as he folded in on himself, trying to hide from the world.

 

Stress Level: 89% and rising

 

Hank swiftly got out of his seat as soon as Conner had folded in on himself, crying. Sumo moved out of the way as Hank knelt down, placing his left and on Conner's right shoulder. He gently pushed Conner up slightly and then pulled him into a tight embrace. It's all he could think to do as he himself wasn't very good at combating emotions in the first place. Conner latched into Hank desperately, hunching over and sobbing into the other's shoulder.  Hank patted Conner's back, comforting him in a motion that seemed familiar to him. "It's alright son, it's ok. You're safe and no Cyberlife arsehole is going to jack your system again." 

"I'm s-scared I'll h-hurt you." Hank heard Conner whisper in between sobs. It broke his heart and ripped away at his old soul, something he never thought an android would do. And now he was consoling one as if he were his own...
Conner was family in Hank's eyes, and nothing would change that now.

"You're not going to hurt me. Everything will be alright, I trust you."

 

Stress Level: 67% and dropping

 

The heart-wrenching sobs turned into normal, steady crying. After a few minutes they slowed as Conner calmed. He was progressively regaining his composure, still clinging into Hank as if he were about to disappear.

Conner took heavy breaths as he tried to cool off his interior biocomponents, grounding himself. He was safe. He was with Hank and Hank was also safe. He stayed holding into Hank for a few more minutes more before he pried himself off the man's shoulder. The smell of alcohol and smoke left him as he looked at Hank for a second before dipping his head, Hank's hand still on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." Conner spoke up, finally finding his voice even though it felt strained and truly broken.
"You've got nothin' to be sorry for. Don't sweat it."

Conner sniffled, bringing his head up again and wiping tears from under his eyes. "Do you feel better now?" Hank asked, making eye contact. Conner nodded slowly. "Yes, I do. Thankyou Hank..."      

"Here." Hank said, hesitantly standing up. Conner stood up with him as he was lead to the couch and sat down, leaning his head back on the soft surface. "Try getting some rest. The police station is still shut due to a lack of staff at the moment so you've nothing to get up early for. "If...Androids do sleep, that is."
"We have a status mode. It's close to what you would describe as 'low power mode' and I can simulate sleep through that." Conner explained, taking in the homeliness of the living room.
"Great, well, I suggest doing that then." Hank spoke reassuringly, sitting next to Conner. Sumo came over again, seeing his chance and jumped up to be on the other side of Conner. "You think you're going to be alright now? That you've got all that outta your system?"

A small, sad smile tugged at the side of Conner's pale lips. "Yes...Yes I think so. If i become distressed again I'll make sure to let you know." 

 

Stress Level: 43% and dropping

                                     

Hank ruffled Conner's already messy hair, pulling him into another heartfelt hug before he slowly stood up again. "We can speak more tomorrow. Right now, I think you need to rest. You look like you've been through hell." Hank stated, speaking like a father would. Conner was going to question Hank's use of words before he recognised it as a figure of speech, something he was still getting used to. He was still getting used to being a human, after all.

"Ok then. Hank...I just-, I wanted to thankyou again...I know where I'd be without you and I don't like to think about it. I'm glad we're friends."                                                 

 

Stress Level: 21% and dropping

Software instability ^

 

"Me too, kid. Me too."