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The words stick.
Keith can feel it in the way they brush across his skin, warming his flesh and making him pliant. Feels it in the way he loses himself to the shape of Shiro’s mouth as he forms them, their very existence stealing his breath like a thief in the darkest night. He feels it in the desert thunder he feels roll across his sternum, its rumble set to the cadence of those three syllables that dripped from his tongue. Mostly, he feels it in the way his heart stutters and his pulse quickens as he feels the heft of Shiro in his arms as the words vibrate through him with the undeniable rush of life.
This, is love.
The very love that had blinded him with its unexpected and untimely pronouncement after the Kerberos mission was announced as lost.
A love that had led him through time and space to the single pinpoint of light that had led him in even his darkest times.
It is the very love he had breathed like a prayer as Shiro pinned him to the ground, his eyes cold and distant before sparking with a look of recognition.
No. Not Shiro, but someone else.
Someone else who shared just as much of the man he loved that he wasn’t even entirely sure he’d known he wasn’t truly him.
Keith doesn’t regret it, because the words ring true anyway.
I love you.
He meant it. He means it.
You found me.
Shiro knows.
Looking down at the newly white hair, Keith feels the sudden flare of the universe as it broke apart and realigned itself into something stronger. Something that was all too big for his skin to hold, yet he will, because that’s what this love means.
The ends of the universe, every star, every planet and all the unending space in between was theirs, all trapped within the spaces of their words and the matching beat of their hearts.
“Rest,” Allura says beside him as the rest of the team chatters excitedly around them. Amongst the happy chaos, Keith smiles. It’s a barely there thing that he knows Shiro sees because it’s only meant for him.
It’s only ever been for him.
The rest of the paladins gather around them as he watches Shiro’s lids flutter and shut, his weight pressing further against him as all tension seeps from his muscles and into the gentle hold of sleep.
Keith’s next words are strong as he raises his voice, turning his attention up to their friends and the sky that looks inviting and clear.
“We’re going home.”
***
It’s the beginning, and Shiro sleeps.
He sleeps.
And he sleeps.
Allura assures that there’s nothing to worry about. It’s nothing more than the simplicity of a human body and the slow pace of recovery. Keith hadn’t truly realized how much they’d relied on the ease of the Altean healing pods until the third day of slow quiet that had spread through Black’s cockpit as he’d listened to Shiro’s steady breathing as they flew.
At first, it had made him anxious, setting each and every jagged edge of his thoughts scraping against each other until he thought he might go crazy with its sound.
It was one thing to be able to fight for his love back. To go to the very end of the line and drag him from the depths of darkness.
It was another to sit at Black’s controls with nothing more than the sharp blade of time and his own shield of battered patience as he waited.
Though, he supposes they do have more than enough time for that. The trip back to Earth is a much larger task without the castle. It means quite a lot of flying, quite a lot of stops on planets that they can only pray will be friendly enough to house them for a night, and most of all, quite a lot of thinking.
A dangerous pastime, so they say.
Keith is learning that the hard way.
“Where are you, Keith?”
The question shakes him of his thoughts, pulling him full force back into the dining hall of the small inn they have stopped in for the night. Dragging his eyes up from the bright blue of his drink before him, he catches Krolia’s stare as she awaits his answer.
It’s open, but not expectant.
In all the time they’d had to make up for some of what they had lost, she still treads lightly, never pushing him for more than he’s willing to give. Keith appreciates it.
“Just thinking,” he says lowly, ignoring the soft brush of worry that twists his words with a slight rasp. Something glints deep in his mother’s eyes as she rests her chin on her palm and keeps her earnest gaze on him.
“About Shiro?” The question is simple, yet it still causes him pause as he bites into the full of his bottom lip. He knows he talks about Shiro enough for Krolia to have picked up on the depth of his feelings, but he’s never put it into any kind of words.
But he’s pretty sure that she knows.
He can feel it in the way her eyes reflect his own softness when he speaks of the other black paladin. Can feel it in the way she tries to hide her smile behind the veil of spoken words whenever he tells yet another story of their time together. Mostly, he can feel it in the moments like these when her voice dips low and turns warm like summer honey as if she’s worried broaching the subject might just scare him off.
“About a lot of things.” The answer falls flat as he quickly hides behind the rim of his glass, throwing back a swig of his drink. It’s just this side of sour, but not unpleasantly so as it washes the bitter taste of his lie away.
It also makes his stomach warm and his head feel light, but that is neither here, nor there.
There’s a soft knock of glass on wood as Keith drops his drink back down and meets her gaze with a shrug.
“And about Shiro.”
Hidden within the words is a confession, and Krolia’s eyes light with something just a shade brighter than happiness as she picks up on it. Leaning further into her arm, she glows with something excited and maternal.
“He’s going to be okay.” Keith doesn’t miss the flicker of her smile. “From what you’ve told me, he’s strong.”
A warm flush spreads high across his cheeks as he sits back into his chair.
“I know, I’m just—” Scared. That’s what he is. He’s scared because Shiro is so close to being safe, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s slipped through his fingers. But saying as much feels like breathing something into being that he isn’t quite sure he wants.
Speaking those very words almost feels like a challenge for the universe that has already put them through so much.
“It’s okay to worry, Keith.” Her palm is comforting against the back of his hand as she gives it a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay to be scared.”
Of course, she already knows.
“Were you?” He asks suddenly, jumping at the question he hadn’t even planned on asking. It causes Krolia to pause as she tilts her head, a flicker of sorrow coloring her eyes dark and filling his chest with an instant regret.
With all that time they’d spent together, they still avoided the subject of his father. Their silent agreement had helped them both evade that loss that they shared.
“I was,” Krolia smiles as she squeezes his hand once more. “I still am.”
Nodding, Keith rolls the statement around in his mind, not entirely sure what even to say because he isn’t even entirely sure anything he could would be enough.
“It’s just another component that makes up that pesky emotion, I guess.” Krolia’s smile widens around her fangs, filling the expression with teasing as her brow arches into an all knowing look that made his heart stutter.
Grabbing his drink quickly, he hid behind it as he drank back the last of the liquid if only for a brief moment of relief.
“May I speak with you a moment, Krolia?” Coran asks, materializing beside his mother with a metallic holo-pad in one hand and a half filled glass in the other. His mustache twitches as he smiles at them both, earning quick dip of Keith’s chin in acknowledgement. Placing his cup back on the table, he pushes himself up and steps around the bench that he’d been sitting on.
“I was just about to head to bed anyway,” he says, answering Krolia’s questioning look quickly as he starts to head toward the dining hall’s exit and toward the back of the inn with the rooms.
It’s a lie, but he suddenly needs to get away from the sincerity of his mother’s smile. Keith knows there is an explanation for it. Some lingering vestiges of his orphan life that he knows he’ll never truly shake, even with all the good intentions behind it.
His mind is filled with the thoughts of her words as he quietly steps into his and Shiro’s shared room. Standing at the door, he takes just a moment to pinpoint the slow even breaths just to make sure they’re there before he busies himself with getting ready. It isn’t until minutes later that he hears any change in the cadence of Shiro’s breathing, causing him pause as he pulls his shirt over his head.
The small hitch of it is quiet. Nothing more than a cashmere sigh wrapped around a single syllable, but it races through him like a firestorm.
“Keith.”
Smiling into the darkness, he drops his shirt on the floor and works his way under the covers, slotting his edges against all of Shiro’s lines until he felt the strong beat of their hearts align.
Darkness rolls along his consciousness as he loses himself in the warmth, carefully lulling into sleep with one final thought.
He’s going to be okay.
***
It’s the middle, and Shiro is awake.
He’s awake, but he still gets this distant look in his eyes that darkens them until they become unbound tempests that shift over Keith before his cheeks color with something dark like shame.
Keith has noticed it a few times, each time more concerning than the last as Shiro seems to dive deeper into himself with each passing moment of darkness. Keith can feel it in the way an uneasy tension starts to fizzle and crack between them as Shiro busies himself in an attempt to avoid his questioning stare. Feels it in the way his own skin prickles and aches along the burn that always catches Shiro’s lingering stare. Mostly, he feels it in the chasm that is widening and widening between them even though they travel mere feet apart.
It’s the middle, and finally too much for Keith to bear.
All he wants is to reach out and tether Shiro in the same way he’d once tethered him. All he wants is to make everything right.
All he wants, is for Shiro to be okay.
Running his fingers across Black’s controls, Keith shifts her into autopilot and switches her comms off, silently thanking the heavens that Krolia had borrowed a ship from the Blades to complete the journey so that they could finally be well and truly alone. Air drags itself slowly between his teeth as he steadies himself before he pushes himself out of the pilot chair and turns to where Shiro is sat on the edge of his cot with a look caught within the darkest point of a storm.
Even with a couple months standing between them and Shiro’s return, Keith still finds himself taking a moment just to take him as he traces his gaze over his starlight hair and and hard lined body. The body might not have been truly his, but he is still Shiro.
And he is beautiful.
His gaze is far away as Keith slowly steps towards him, dropping down on his haunches just in front of him as he places tender palms to his knees.
“Hey. Come back to me,” he soothes, smiling gently as he see Shiro’s eyes focus and soften. Mouth upturning in a matching smile, Keith can’t help but notice the way it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I already did.” It’s a thin joke accompanied by thinner laughter that makes his chest ache.
“You know what I mean,” he says softly, squeezing Shiro’s knees gently. “Can I ask what you were thinking about?”
A pause works its way between them as Shiro traces the shape of Keith’s scar, leaving it coated in the liquid silver of his gaze.
“You.” The answer is honest, and it holds so much pain. “And him.”
That earns Keith’s attention. A mixed jolt of apprehension and curiosity makes him go stiff as he continues to speak.
“I remember everything, you know,” Shiro says slowly, testing the taste of the words as Keith just listens. He hadn’t thought of the possibility that Shiro would retain the clone’s memories, but now he wondered how he hadn’t even considered it though it only made sense.
He had known so much of Shiro’s own memories that it stood to reason the same could be said the other way around. Something clicks into place in Keith’s chest as Shiro’s words circled around him like a tightening embrace.
“He didn’t even know. He didn’t know that he wasn’t me. And he did that to you.”
Shiro’s hand moves slowly as he reaches up to caress the mark, his touch wavering and stopping just before he can complete the motion.
“I wonder if that means I could have done that to you.” It’s said like a confession of the darkest sin, low and mired in a heaviness that takes Keith’s breath away. Silver glints in the light as he drops his gaze.
“What if—” Shiro starts before Keith silences him with a low hush, moving his palms up to cradle his face. An ‘o’ forms between his lips at the light touch.
“It doesn’t matter, Shiro. Even if he was you and you were him, it wouldn’t matter.”
Not just wouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.
Brushing his thumbs along the crest of his cheeks, Shiro nuzzles into Keith’s right palm.
“I would gladly do it again,” he says, and he means it. Pushing up from his crouched position, Keith presses their foreheads together as he smiles, gently brushing the tip of his nose against Shiro’s. “As many times as it takes.”
The statement earns him as small chuckle as he feels something warm and wet roll along the edge of his thumb and beneath it as it continues to paint heat across Shiro’s cheek. He’s said the same thing once to the other Shiro, but they’re one and the same, and he’ll always mean it.
Keith will always bring him home.
“As many times as it takes,” Shiro echoes. Their breaths mingle in the space between them as they begin to settle into a steady rhythm together. This feels right.
This, is where they’re both meant to be.
When Keith let’s his gaze move upwards, his vision is filled with steel tempered in the flames of a question. It’s the very same fire of desire and it heats his insides and pulls him forward until he’s closing the barely there distance between them.
It isn’t their first kiss, and it isn’t their last, but it feels wholly new and stupendous in a way he can’t quite pinpoint. It’s the start, and an end, and another start as it crushes everything they’d known just to rebuild it up around them into a path forward.
Shiro is the one that pulls away as he looks down at Keith with bright eyes and red cheeks.
“Me too, you know,” he breathes before wrapping his arm around Keith’s shoulders and pulling him into his chest. Keith wonders if Shiro notices just how well he fits there. Humming in question, he hides a smile just above Shiro’s heart as he answers.
“I love you too.”
***
It’s the end, and Shiro is alive.
Well and truly alive.
While he still bears the scars of his trauma, they no longer cling to his back like vengeful demons, tarnishing the silver of his eyes and diminishing the brightness of his smile. Instead, he learns to ground himself with the tether of Keith’s hand whenever he feels the suffocating wave of his anxieties as they threaten to drown him.
It’s how he learns to adjust.
He’s rejoined the team, making jokes and laughing along as his smiles finally touch the corners of his eyes.
He’s learned to use his left arm, no longer shuddering away from the reflection of his missing right.
He’s even started to pilot Black again, pushing her towards her own limits and losing himself to the feel of her controls within his palm.
That’s where he is now, in the pilot seat and Keith is just watching, memorizing the exact way his mouth upturns and his eyes sparkle as he flies them both along the stars that they both love so much.
Some time between Kerberos and Saturn’s icy rings, a sun had ignited within Keith’s chest, threatening to incinerate him with the impossible heat of his emotions.
This is it, he realizes as he feels his own smile breaking across his mouth. The big one. A love to cross space and time for. A love to reach to the very ends of the universe for.
A love to die for.
He feels it in the way Shiro returns his smile, its brightness rivaling that of any star that they pass.
Feels it in the magnificent silver that his gaze coats him in.
Mostly, he feels it in the lightning that passes between them as Shiro’s eyes light with something wondrous.
This, is love.
And it’s theirs.
Lost within his own thoughts, Keith almost misses the shimmering blue that is cresting over Black’s muzzle, lit by the bright touch of sun.
It’s then that Shiro’s mouth opens around two words that they’ve both been waiting to hear.
“We’re home.”
******************************