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“Plagg, claws out!”
***
Jumping, skipping and running over the rooftops was a great idea to clear his mind again. He had had three photoshoots planned by his father today for the new Gabriel Agreste line, and as the face of Agreste fashion he had no choice but to model his father’s creations. He was stuffed in one complete look after the other, which felt like he was a puppet forced to play dress-up. Three hours of makeup to achieve that “natural” look made his face look and feel like a painting; one wrong move and he would end up cracking the dried paint.
The temperature wasn’t exactly cooperating either. Even though it was only the beginning of April, it was a rather hot day to be outside modeling line after line after line after line… All in the full sun of course. Because there was no logic of having the sweaty kid in the shadow, nor did it make sense to point a fan at him, apparently.
Plagg was snickering at him all day, hiding from the sight of others, but Adrien was sure the kwami felt at least a little bit sorry for his chosen.
So yeah, wearing his black leather suit was a truly refreshing experience after today.
Getting his miraculous has been the best thing in his life so far. A true escape from his life as Adrien Agreste, child of the world-famous fashion designer Gabriel Agreste. A man whose shadow will loom over him and haunt him until the end of his days. Sure, he loved his father. But sometimes Gabriel felt more like a manager than a father to him. “I scheduled this shoot,” and “You will wear this outfit for the new line I’m bringing out in three days,” were the sentences he heard most. Hardly ever a “good job,” or a “I’m proud of you, son.”
While he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last day his father actually said he was proud of his boy. It often kept Adrien awake at night, wondering what he was to his father.
Was tonight one of those nights? He couldn’t tell. All he knew was that for now, he wasn’t Adrien Agreste. No fashion shows, no hideous makeup that would take hours to complete, no weird designs his father made him model for, no nothing. Just him, Paris and the night.
Tonight, he was Chat Noir, son of the moon and stars, creature of the night. No one would be bothered with the Parisian superhero. Not tonight. Alone with his thoughts, he roamed the empty rooftops of Paris. Skipping, jumping and running from this one to the next, climbing up the chimneys and dropping down, only to catch himself on a streetlamp the very next moment and swing away to his next destination. The thrill of being a superhero was nothing like the empty streets of Paris at night, and it was far from the thrill of his civilian life. Sure, he had some run-ins with a few fans a couple of times, but nothing really worth mentioning. The real excitement was found in his alter ego, the alley cat saving Paris from akuma and Hawkmoth. But even that was just mild compared to the freedom he felt when he called out his transformation after working hours.
The real catch behind his late-night escapes? It was freedom. True freedom. The only kind of freedom found surrounded by quiet nothingness, the only freedom he found when he looked up in the darkest of times, only to find millions of lights guiding his path.
The sky was absolutely stunning tonight. It was a clear night, not a single cloud was to be found, and the stars looked as if they tried their best to shine a streak of light on their little black alley cat. They were thousands of spotlights stranded millions of lightyears away, and it made him feel vulnerable to them somehow. The stars surrounded him like the flashes of a hundred cameras awaiting him at the red carpet of the greatest show that is life. And that’s what he felt right now. He was alive. The stars took his pictures, and the empty streets were his catwalk.
He let out a sniffle at his own pun. Get it? Cat-walk? Hilarious right? Yeah…
Chat stared up at the sky again, and his eyes were captivated by the tender beauty that is the moon.
And the moon, oh, wasn’t she a vision. Like a small streak of silver on a canvas filled with a dark, rich blue ink. A soft glow came from her like a tender blush, and she was so in complete harmony with the stars around her. She was the true star of the show laid out before him. She reeled him in with every breath he took, for she was graceful as a falling feather, gentle and inviting. The next moment, she pushed him away with the darkness of the night surrounding her form, her shine too bright to fully reach for her.
The moon was peace and turmoil to his mind all at once. He sat down on the edge of a building, his legs dangling over the side like a little kid’s. He drank in the view in front of him. He was home now.
A little idea made its way up into his brain. He looked around for a bit, making sure he was alone up here and that there was no way someone could be hearing him or pop up at any given moment. Then he turned his attention back up to the sky. The moon was still there, as innocent as ever. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he spoke.
“So there’s this thing.” Off to a great start. Paranoid, with a sixth sense that seemed to work overtime, he looked around once more, scared to be found. Chat took another deep inhale, and he continued. “I guess you could say it’s some sort of a… fear? I don’t really know. It sounds crazy too, one of the saviors of Paris being fearful.” Soft black ears drooped down on his head. His hand reached behind his head to rest in the nape of his neck. “It’s just that… I have never really felt complete, I guess? As if I am missing out on all the things life has to offer. Like the really important things. I mean,” he started using his fingers to count. “I have a modeling job at the age of fifteen, I do good at school and score the highest marks, I have a great partner, and great friends! I know I do, but something inside me…” He scraped his fingers over his scalp and gripped on to his hair. “is blocked, you know? I know I should be happy and grateful for everything I already have accomplished. And I am grateful, I promise. But I’m just not happy like this. Something is missing.”
He let out a sigh, a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. He looked up at the moon once more. He felt a little relieved. Even though there was no answer from above, it felt as if an immense weight just fell from his shoulders.
From inside, he felt a song bubble up. Not just any song he knew or heard of some time, but a melody from the heart. He felt it flow through his body, emitting a feeling of bliss, almost peaceful. A feeling that told him he made it, that he did great, that people are proud of him, that he is loved. A feeling he was to become complete, and all his broken pieces would fit together.
That is, if it weren’t for the emptiness he felt when he was alone at night. At home he lost sleep, yearning for someone to comfort him. Longing for the attention and warmth only a person could give. Deep inside, he was begging for someone to remind him that even a famous model and an alley cat alike could be loved and adored in that one special way. He wanted to be loved for who he is, not for the vision people had of him.
He doesn’t remember exactly how long it’s been, but it’s been far too long. Ever since his mom… left, he missed the warmth and inviting surroundings of his home.
Chat let out a sigh and got up. One more time, he looked up to the moon. Silver, innocent. His home and a place for secrets, surrounded by a thousand flashlights. Yet she was still so unavailable at the same time. It made him think of a certain someone. He turned around and took a leap on to the next building.
He had never been more in need of a hug before.
***
It took him a moment to catch his breath after his frustrated run around the rooftops, only to end up out of breath at the roof of a certain bakery. The smell that came from the bakery was intoxicating, and it made his stomach growl while he remembered his culinary dinner of the evening. He always had the finest cooks at home, considering his father wanted the best of the best for his model son (except for what his son thought was important to him, naturally) but nothing would make his stomach beg to be fed as much as the smell of this bakery.
Chat always tried to sneak some goods from the bakery home as his civilian self. Honestly, he couldn’t help himself. Their food was too good to be true. He remembered the quiche he got at Marinette’s when they were practicing for the Ultimate Mega Strike III tournament. Since then her parents seemed to have taken a liking to Adrien, because they greeted him warmly whenever he visited their bakery. Sometimes he even saw Marinette helping her parents out, either in the kitchen or behind the register. She was always smiling while helping people, yet when Adrien showed up she started behaving… differently? Awkward? She would start to stutter rather badly, even though he had to admit it was kind of cute on her. He often wondered if it meant she felt intimidated by him. His father was her role model if it came to designing fashion after all. She once told him that while he was his superhero alter-ego. He came to realize he and Marinette hardly ever had a good conversation outside of his mask, much to his dismay.
It was still funny to see the difference in Marinette when he was Adrien compared to being Chat. With Adrien she seemed shy, intimidated and awkward. With Chat she was playful, competitive and open to deeper conversations. He remembered that time he talked to her about the surprise he set up for Ladybug, and when it turned out she didn’t show up. He felt vulnerable then, but Marinette gave him an open space to talk and share his feelings with someone. It was something he would always appreciate about Marinette. But it wasn’t only for that reason he liked to visit her from time to time. She was his friend, whether he was Adrien or Chat Noir. Even though his schedule as Adrien and his hero duties as Chat left little possibilities for him to even get out, let alone visit a friend, she was the first to pop up in his mind.
Not that he could visit his other friends as Chat. It would only make things more complicated. Alya was no one other than the famous ladyblogger. She would go crazy if Chat Noir showed up at her window in the middle of the night. And Nino, though he was his best friend outside of the mask, wouldn’t understand why one of the Parisian superheroes would stop by for a spontaneous visit. But still, the bakers’ daughter always had a welcoming smile whenever he visited, no matter the few times it has been.
And so once again, he found himself on her rooftop, on his way to her balcony. A little glow came from the edge of the roof. Was she still awake? It must be at least 1AM by now, what would she be up to at such a time? Honestly, he felt like a bit of a creep, sneaking up on her like this while she could be asleep, but maybe she wasn’t there, and maybe he just mistook the light coming over the edge of the roof for a lantern close by. Even though those lanterns never get any higher than the second floor of a building. Since ever.
Silently he crept up on the roof on all fours, just as his namesake, and took a careful peek over the edge of the roof.
Marinette was leaning on the railing of her balcony, seemingly in deep thought. She was already wearing her pajama’s, pink pants with little floral decorations and a pink shirt just a shade darker than her pants were, yet with a plain design. Her hair was loose, so Chat could only assume she was out here because of a failed attempt at sleeping. As quietly as possible, he got off the roof and landed on the balcony with a soft “thud”.
The sound made Marinette turn around, and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car before she made direct eye contact with Chat Noir who threw her a chesire grin. “Don’t mind me princess, just dropping in.”
Her startled posture immediately melted away and made place for a disappointed eyeroll, but he dared say he saw a little smirk form in the corner of her mouth. That never happened too often, but whenever it did it was a look he knew he would cherish forever. “Nice to see you too, Kitty. What are you up and about for?” He took a seat on her lounge. “I could ask you the same thing princess, it’s rather late to be out at this time for a civilian. For me this is the daily business the life of a hero brings, patrolling the city, making sure princesses and damsels alike are safe and well.” He pointed his two thumbs at himself, flexed and gave her another grin. Yet this time she didn’t return his smile. There was something in her eyes, but he had trouble deciphering what exactly it was. Was it worry, sadness? They had something knowing in them.
His discomfort at her look must have shown. She quickly looked away and started fiddling with her hands while leaning against the railing. Trying to put a stop to the awkward silence, he coughed a little. “So, Marinette.” He repositioned himself on the lounge to sit with his legs folded as he looked up to catch her gaze again. “Why are you out?”
She didn’t look up at him. Instead she started wrapping her arms around herself. He was still trying to make eye contact with her, all the while thinking about what that look meant. “Is everything alright...?”
Marinette let out a deep sigh before speaking, but she still refused to meet his eyes. “I’m fine Chat, I just couldn’t sleep.” He would love to believe her, but everything about her told him ‘no’. Marinette was capable of doing a lot of things, but lying wasn’t one of them. “Are you sure? You seem a little-“ “I said I’m FINE, Chat. Drop it.” Mi-auwtsch. Even if she meant to or not, cutting in like that with a voice barely louder than a whisper made his heart break. His ears drooped to the sides of his head as he looked at his friend.
It was only now that he saw her in the lights of her balcony that he could take in the whole picture. Her hair was out of its usual do, and it looked tangled and knotted as it fell just below her shoulders. Whether it was from the cold or not, she was shivering, and she seemed so much smaller than he was used to. She looked so broken.
“What happened Marinette?” The words left his mouth before he even knew he was thinking them. She didn’t respond to him. Instead she looked up for a split second. As his eyes met with her starry sky’s time seemed to stand still for a few seconds. There was something hidden in them. She knew something he had yet to find out, a secret buried in the deepest corners of her very being. There was an ongoing war in her mind, and her eyes showed her battle scars. Just like the sky, her eyes had their own way of holding a conversation, and he would love to decipher their language.
Just in that moment she broke away from his gaze. Her arms fell, and she turned to resume her position at the railing of her balcony.
He opened his mouth to speak, but he found himself at a loss for words. Something – or worse, someone – must have hurt her, and Chat wanted to do whatever was in his power to make one of his favorite people smile again. He was a superhero after all. What kind of superhero would he be if he couldn’t save a friend?
Yet it felt impossible for him to do anything. Marinette’s gaze was turned up to the sky, and he wasn’t able to keep her attention on him and their conversation – as far as you could name it one – for longer than 5 seconds.
Unless of course, he tried a different approach.
“You know what, you’re right,” he started as he got up and joined Marinette at the railing. He crossed his arms just like she did and let them rest on the cold metal. His sentence resulted in a slightly confused Marinette. From the corner of his eye he saw her straightening up, almost startled. “I should drop the subject and stop acting like such a curious kitten.” He glanced at his side, and he saw her eyes on him for a moment before she shied away. Gotcha.
“But still,” his voice turned soft. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about what’s bothering you.” Once again, she didn’t respond. All he could see was her face turned up to the sky, a shiver taking her over. He so desperately wanted to help her, but how? She didn’t talk to him, and his little psychology trick didn’t seem to work. Did someone hurt her? Did he do something wrong? Was that why she wasn’t talking to him? His mind was all over the place.
Marinette was still gazing up, apparently not taking notice of his discomfort. If she did, she didn’t bring it up. He decided to shift his gaze to the sky. He felt defeated, but if she didn’t want to talk to him he wouldn’t pry any further. Chat Noir was a gentleman, in or out of the suit.
The air around them had gotten colder since he first arrived, though the sky was still shining ever so gently. The stars never faded for there were no clouds in the sky, and the moon still a peaceful beacon to guide a little black cat wherever he needed. The view brought him back to his moment alone earlier that night. Sitting on the edge of that roof, just him and the moon. He could tell her anything at that moment but still felt awfully at ease. It even seemed as if the moon tried to calm his worries.
A little idea popped into his mind and … You know what, that might actually work!
He smiled and looked back up to the sky, Marinette stole a look at the feline hero. “Well, if you don’t want to talk to me, I won’t pry any further. But just so you know, I’m always here for my purrincess.” He heard a little sigh escape next to him. Being the cat that he is, he couldn’t resist resting his head on her shoulder for a little while. She didn’t flinch. Instead she leaned her head on his. “Thank you, Kitty.” Her voice was a little hoarse, but there were other things to worry about now. His princess needed to tell her story, and if she wouldn’t vent to him he at least hoped to provide a place for her to do so.
“I tell all my secrets to the moon.”
Her head went up again, and for a second he realized he yarned for more affection between the two of them. Whether it was his feline instincts or his need to be loved, he didn’t care at the moment and only moved in closer to Marinette. He felt her gaze on him as he turned back to her. “At night, if you listen closely, she will tell you her secrets too. Sometimes she might even respond!”
A quiet chuckle, and he looked up from her shoulder. She was smiling. She was smiling!
“You somehow know how to make me feel better every time Chat Noir.” Her gaze was upon him now, and a small smile still tugged at her lips. Finally, he could see what her gaze held. He didn’t remember the last time someone ever looked at him with such fondness in their eyes. “Well, purrrhaps Ladybug’s luck is rubbing off on me,” he said as he shot her his signature smirk. “I’m a cat after all. That’s what I do.” Another giggle bubbled up in Marinette, he could see it in her face and the way her eyes started to get their little spark back. Seeing her like this made him feel like a giddy little kid. If Marinette was happy, he was too. For a moment their giggles echoed away into the empty streets of Paris.
He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he sure didn’t regret going in for that hug. After a gasp and a little moment of hesitation on her side, he felt her arms wrap around him tightly as well. Her head was against his chest, and it just felt right. It was warm, comforting and safe. He felt at home, and somehow, he felt loved by the way she embraced him. A quiet rumble started in the back of his throat.
The moment seemed to last forever, but for his part it never had to end in the first place.
Much to his dislike though, he had to get a move on. It was now almost 2 in the morning, and it was a school night after all. As he let her go, which he did with great dislike, he murmured an apology into her hair. It even seemed as if Marinette didn’t want to break their hug as she held on to him tighter. He had to stop himself from letting out a giggle at her desperate attempt to cling onto him. He knew exactly how she felt. However, being the responsible superhero, he had to let her go so the both of them could get some rest. He gently took her by the wrists to unwrap her from his torso.
“I can come back tomorrow if you like?” The question was already out before he even realized. He felt a little blush creep his way onto his cheeks, and he hoped his mask would cover most of it. He’d love to come back. He felt safe here. But did Marinette want him to? He just tried to get her to talk about her feelings while she clearly didn’t want to, and still he pried. Then again, she didn’t want to let him go after their hug. He had to do that for her. Not that he wanted to, but he kind of had to? Ugh, why was everything so confusing right now?
He looked down at his hands, still holding Marinette’s. His thumbs were rubbing slow circles over her knuckles. She didn’t seem to mind though. Instead she just stared at their joined hands, eyes slightly lidded and a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “I’d like that, Kitty.”
He felt a smile coming up. She really was an incredible person. Kind and understanding, and always there for others whether it was convenient for her or not, and she would never expect anything in return.
Maybe that was why he planted a feather light kiss upon her forehead before he let her go. With a slight blush, partially hidden behind his mask, he stepped back and got his baton out, ready to vault away into the dark of the night. Before he did, he gave her his signature smile and two-finger salute. "I'll see you around princess, whenever you need me." She gave him a shy smile. One that lit up her face. And was that a blush? God, it made her look so cute. Even if she couldn't tell him what was bothering her, he was glad to at least be the reason behind that smile on her face. He'd do anything for her to see her smile like that again.
"Goodnight Chat," she whispered while leaning on her balcony railing. "And thank you."
"Anytime for my princess." He extended his baton and leapt onto her roof. Before completely disappearing into the dark he turned around one last time. As he spoke, he felt a shit-eating grin form on his face. "Cat-ch you later!"
As he saw Marinette's eyes squint at him with a dangerous playfulness, he knew he had to get out fast. And oh, was he right. She already had a pillow in her hands, ready to fire. "You stupid cat! Come back here so I can whoop your ass!"
"No can-do Marinette! I choose life." He grinned while he hid behind her chimney. He couldn’t risk being a target. He was allergic to feathers.
"We were having a moment and you completely ruined it!"
"On the contrary, I think I made it quite the lot better."
As she laughed at the scaredy-cat upon her roof she spoke. "Go to sleep, you dork."
God, if only she knew it was Adrien hiding behind her chimney. She would never call him a dork straight to his face. "As you command princess," he spoke softly as he appeared on the edge of her roof one more time, complementing the sentence with a little bow towards her. He searched for her bluebell eyes, glad to find them already on his grassy fields. "Sweet dreams, Marinette."
"Sweet dreams, Chat."
A smack to the face with a fluffy pink pillow later, he was once again alone on the rooftops.
***
Now that Chat went back to his alley (or wherever he came from for that matter), she was back to being alone again. As she stared up at the sky, she had time to let Chat's words sink in for a moment. 'Telling her secrets to the moon.' It sounded so much like something her partner would actually do. She knew how much he loved the night sky. Every patrol they went on he was just so in his element, so at home with his surroundings. She often envied him for the freedom he seemed to carry with him everywhere. It often made her wonder what he was like as a civilian. Was he as carefree as he seemed?
She let a sigh slip out. He truly was a great friend, and she’s been so rude to him while all he did was worry over how she was feeling.
Once again, his words lingered in her mind.
Her eyes found their way to the moon. The single silver streak across the dark blue sky did have its charm, and it did radiate peace and serenity. She looked around to see if anyone was able to spy on her or hear her talk, but there was no one around. So, she spilled.
She spilled it all. She talked about the stress that surrounded her at school, the incidents with Chloe and her nasty little tricks. She talked about her dreams of becoming a fashion designer and her job at her parents’ bakery and about how she was silently struggling to balance it all out. She was a little reluctant to talk about her job as Ladybug, one of Paris’ saviors, so she kept that part quiet. She talked about her friends, and how happy she was to have them in her life, and she talked about her crush on Adrien.
Sweet, gentle Adrien, and how he seemed so far out of reach while he was sitting right in front of her almost every day. “I know for a fact it’s not a silly celebrity crush. I know Adrien. He is the kindest, most selfless person I’ve ever met. He’s always ready to help someone in need, even if that means sacrificing his own needs.” Oh, how she wished she could tell him how she felt. And maybe, just maybe, have those feelings returned. It was selfish of her to think that way, and she was painfully aware of that.
But she wouldn’t be mad at him if he didn’t return her feelings. All she wanted to do was make him happy, and that would be enough for her. “He pretends to be the perfect son for his father, but I know he is not happy that way. I really hope that one day I can form a normal sentence around him and truly make him happy. That’s all I really want for him.”
She let out the breath she was holding. It did feel good to tell the moon about what’s been keeping her up this late at night. It felt as if she lost an incredible amount of weight that has been pushing her down this whole time up until now. Even talking about her crush on Adrien felt like a relief. Of course, her best friend Alya knew every detail about how she felt about Adrien, but it was nice to talk to someone (or in this case, something?) else about it for a change. Not that they would actually listen or understand, but it was liberating her of her constant thoughts. It was so liberating, she wanted to take it a little step further.
As she closed her eyes, she whispered.
“I love him. I really, really do.”
A small step for mankind, a huge step for Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She admitted that she loved him out in the open, even though nobody was really there to hear. She looked up to the moon once more. However stupid or cheesy she thought it might sound, she thanked the moon. It only seemed to shine brighter now. Once more, she felt a sense of relief wash over her.
A breeze blew by, and she could swear she heard a voice within. A little shocked she turned, looking for anyone that might have heard, only to find nothing. She was all alone on her balcony at night. Bewildered, she turned around to the moon. Was it really the moon? Could Chat actually be right about the moon telling her own secrets? Could she respond?
Head once more swimming with questions, she decided to call it a night and go back to bed. The least she could do was to try and get some more sleep. Questions and the sorts could be answered later today.
The stars twinkled their goodnight as she closed her trapdoor behind her.
***
A slim, black silhouette vaulted away and disappeared into the night. A silent promise to watch over the sleeping city, and purrhaps one of it’s civilians in particular. And a promise to the moon to make her feel loved for all the love she gave in return.