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“You should be more careful,” Marinette said, as she set Alya down. Alya crossed her arms and pouted (probably about the fact that she’d lost her phone when she’d been scooped up, and was disappointed she didn’t get to film getting carried across the rooftops by Ladybug).
“I was just trying to get a good shot.”
“The problem with ‘getting a good shot’,” Marinette said, quoting with her fingers, “is that the Akuma gets a good shot at you.”
Alya opened her mouth to protest, but Chat Noir landed between the two of them.
“Missing something?” he asked, waving Alya’s phone in the air. She eagerly snatched it from his claws. “You know, if you die, I call dibs on your stuff.”
“Chat Noir, you can’t call dibs on other people’s things, even if they are being reckless,” Marinette admonished. He just grinned at her.
“Something tells me that you don’t know too many cats, my Lady.”
“You’d have to fight my sisters for it, anyway,” Alya said, unbothered as she examined her phone for damage.
“I could take ‘em.” Chat Noir said.
“You are not fighting children unless they’ve been akumatized.”
“Oh, please, they’d love to roughhouse with Chat Noir,” Alya interrupted. “But while you’re here, can I ask you guys some questions?”
In hindsight, she should have refused. But it was so hard to refuse when she knew it would make Alya sad.
“Just a couple, we need to get back to the fight,” Marinette said. “And only if you promise to stay out of the way of the Akuma for the rest of the day.” She knew it was too much to ask Alya to stop altogether, even as much as it would improve Marinette’s stress level if Alya stayed away from battles.
“Well…as you know, it’s been over a month since the Speaker incident…”
Marinette stiffened. She should’ve known.
“And what I…what Paris is wondering, is whether you’ve worked that out, if you’re back together, or…”
“I’m sorry, Alya,” Marinette said, with a coldness she rarely used with her friend. “But the nature of my relationship with my soulmate is a personal matter and is not a topic up for discussion.”
“But…”
“We have not let it affect our friendship, partnership, or protection of this city. That is all that the people of Paris need to be concerned with.”
.
.
.
“Maybe you should’ve just told her that we had worked things out,” Chat Noir said, a few days later. “It’s technically the truth, even if it’s misleading.”
“I don’t want to do that,” Marinette said, frustrated. For the past couple days, Alya had been linking all sorts of articles to the Ladyblog, regarding how to connect or reconnect with one’s soulmate. Most of them were ridiculous, in her opinion. “This is so annoying. We came to an understanding. We’re fine, we’ve accepted that things are how they are. It’s not any business of anyone else’s. And even if we were still having trouble, how would these articles even help? Really, ‘Number 5: Travel Together’? We’re superheroes duty-bound to protect Paris, and teenagers at that. We can’t just take off on a road trip around the continent.”
“Yeah,” Chat Noir agreed. “But it makes sense, most people meet their soulmates as adults. At least she isn’t linking articles with…the other kind of ‘adult’ advice.”
“Yeah,” Marinette said, suppressing a shudder. She couldn’t tell Chat Noir that Alya nearly had done just that, if Marinette, Nino, and Adrien hadn’t been able to talk her out of it. This whole situation was embarrassing enough.
“It’s just…these suggestions are just…superficial, if not useless! We’re superheroes, we’re always in life-or-death situations together. If that doesn’t ‘fix’ our soulmate bond, I hardly think ‘sharing a fruit smoothie’ is going to do it.”
“You’re telling me,” Chat Noir said. “Heh, maybe we should write our own, a parody article of sorts.” Putting on a silly voice, he said “Fifteen easy ways to get closer to your soulmate! Number one: Fight off an army of pigeons.”
Marinette giggled.
“Number two,” he continued, a grin spreading on his face. “Freefall while holding hands.”
“Number three,” Marinette cut in, still giggling, “Flee from a dinosaur together.”
“Exactly! Just take the pictures from her blog and send them back to her in a silly article, maybe she’ll realize how ridiculous this all is.”
“Or! We could try to follow one of these articles, but complete the activities in the most ridiculous way possible that only we can. Have our fruit smoothie as we sit on top of City Hall, or something.”
They tossed the ideas back and forth, refining and debating, and the plan was set into motion.
.
.
.
“Ready?” Adrien asked, glancing over at Ladybug. She nodded, and he scooted closer to her as he switched his staff’s video recorder on.
“Hello Paris!” he said brightly.
“It’s come to our attention that there are concerns about our relationship,” Ladybug said. “While this is a personal matter, we recognize the concern some might have over the impact it has on our ability to work together as a team to protect this city. We want to reassure the public that they are as safe as ever in our hands.”
“So, for your peace of mind,” Adrien said, “Ladybug and I have decided to take some of the advice that our dear Ladyblogger has so kindly offered up in the past week. We will be following the article “10 Ways to Connect with Your Soulmate” and videoing our efforts along the way.”
“But,” Ladybug added, and Adrien knew her well enough to hear the slyness in her voice, even as she kept her face professional. “As superheroes, we know a lot about bonding experiences, so we’ll be offering suggestions for…improvements, along the way.”
“Stay tuned!” Adrien closed it out and shut off the video. Then they both started giggling.
“How long do you think it will take for people to realize that we’re messing with them?” Ladybug asked.
“Not long,” Adrien said, tapping away to send the video to Alya. “I give it until halfway through the first one.”
The first one was “Go on a Picnic”. Naturally, they were having theirs on the Eiffel Tower, because they could. But that wasn’t the only absurdity about it. No, that alone wouldn’t tip people off that they weren’t taking this seriously.
Ladybug landed on the beam next to him, one arm hooked through the picnic basket.
“Nice picnic blanket,” she said, grinning as she looked down at the bedsheet Adrien had tied to the beam. It was probably an expensive bedsheet, too, given that it had come from his house, which made it all the better for their picnic.
“I do my best,” he said, with a mock bow.
“Well, I’ve got the food, so let’s get this show on the road.” She set the basket down between them, and they both took their seats across from one another. Adrien switched on the video.
“Hello Paris! If you’re familiar with the article we’re following, you’ll know that our first task is to enjoy a picnic together!” He held the staff out away from his face and swiveled it around so that it would capture a complete picture of their little picnic. Ladybug opened up the basket. “And I see my Lady has chosen our dining well – these are from the best bakery in all of Paris!”
Ladybug looked pleased. That was another thing…their picnic fare consisted entirely of sweets and pastries. Which Adrien was most certainly happy about, especially when goods in question were from the Dupain-Cheng’s. With one hand still manning the video, he used the other to pick up an entire pie, which he shoved in his face. It was the most undignified manner he could ever recall eating, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. He spun the baton around slowly to show Ladybug eating in a similarly undignified manner, as well as the untouched napkins and utensils.
When they finished, Ladybug stepped around their mess of a picnic to stand at his side, and he stood up as she approached.
“Well, Chat Noir, I think that was an excellent picnic, don’t you?” she said, overly casually.
“Of course, my Lady. But I don’t know that it was a satisfactory bonding experience.”
“Hmmm…” she said, tilting her head to the side. “I think you’re right, kitten. I can think of something better.”
“Me too,” he said, wrapping his free arm around her as she did the same with him, holding her other arm with her yo-yo clutched in her hand. “And that would be…”
They both faced the camera. Adrien grinned brightly, and he was certain that Ladybug matched him.
“Yo-yo bungee jumping!” they shouted in unison, and leapt off the tower together, food still on their faces.
And so it went. From Alya’s comments at school, Adrien gathered she realized what was going on, but evidently found it funny enough to keep publishing the videos. He was glad she was taking it in good humor; he didn’t want to upset her, after all, and he was sure Ladybug didn’t, either.
When it came to the eighth task on the list, Adrien found himself searching through his closet. He’d been able to contribute in some way to each of their prior runs, but this time was more difficult. The article’s eighth piece of advice was to share clothes. That is, to wear each other’s clothes. Since they were superheroes who were technically wearing an extra skin rather than clothing, that wasn’t really an option. Adrien had suggested that they switch Miraculouses before they started filming (keeping their eyes closed while they were untransformed, of course), but Ladybug had pointed out that he would’ve had to pierce his ears. He reluctantly conceded the point and put away his fantasies of catgirl!Ladybug for another day.
Instead, she offered that they could deliberately misinterpret the advice, and literally share clothing. To that end, she was going to procure a giant hoodie, and maybe a hat. She had told him that if he could think of anything else, to bring it along.
Unfortunately, given that his clothing was all tailored to him, he didn’t have much of a selection. None of this was stuff he could share with Ladybug.
Ah! His scarf! That would work. It wasn’t a particularly long scarf, but it would be long enough to drape around them both. He pulled it off the hanger and tucked it away where he would remember to bring it when he met up with Ladybug later.
They met up on a random rooftop. Ladybug held out the hoodie, smiling. And wow…that was a big hoodie. He turned on the video, greeted the fans as usual, and Ladybug promptly pulled the hoodie over the pair of them, complaining when it caught on his ears. He followed that up, handing the staff to Ladybug as he pulled out the scarf and awkwardly draped it around their necks. It wasn’t as easy to do one-handed.
“Well, Buginette, what do you think of this suggestion?”
“Bit inconvenient,” she said. “Can’t move around much like this.”
“I agree,” he said. “It would make fighting an Akuma difficult.”
“That it would. Rather than sharing clothes, we suggest sharing…” she trailed off, and Adrien shut off the video. They had already recorded their suggestion after the most recent akuma attack, which was to share in launching the Lucky Charm to release the cure over the city. He would edit it in before he sent the video off to Alya.
With some difficulty, the pair of them shrugged out of the hoodie. Since he was still holding his staff, Ladybug pulled the scarf with her as she took off the hoodie.
Free of the hoodie, Adrien returned his staff to his back, and went to take the scarf back from Ladybug. She was looking at it with a strange expression on her face, as she ran her hand along it.
“It’s a nice scarf, isn’t it?” he said cheerfully. “I got it for my last birthday!”
She looked up at him, then back down at the scarf.
“L…Ladybug?” Adrien asked uncertainly, his smile faltering.
Ladybug looked back up at him.
Then, she screamed.
.
.
.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
“Ladybug? Are…you okay?”
Oh she was just fine. Really. Absolutely –thwack– one hundred –thwack– percent –thwack– fine.
“Because…uh…if you weren’t wearing a magical suit, I think you’d’ve given yourself a concussion by now.”
Maybe she should give herself a concussion. Maybe then she would forget all about this. But that wasn’t going to happen as long as she was transformed, and Tikki would probably try to talk her out of banging her head against a chimney stack, because Tikki was weird like that.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
Of course it was him. Of course it was. Goddammit. Only Marinette could make her life so unnecessarily complicated. Only Marinette would unknowingly fall in love with the other face of her soulmate.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
“Ladybug? I’m starting to get concerned here…”
Thwack.
“Please…talk to me?”
Thwack.
Only he would be able to steal away his soulmate from himself.
Thwack.
All of this, all of their pain, all of her guilt had been for nothing. All of it could’ve been avoided, if it weren’t for the goddamn supervillain terrorizing Paris.
Thwack.
Goddammit.
“Please tell me what the problem is.”
She whirled around to face him.
“You were the problem. But not you right here. You you. You without the…” She gestured helplessly at him, and he just stared at her, uncomprehending. “…the ears. I mean you do still have ears. But not those ears. Regular ears. Not that you don’t have regular ears now too. But it doesn’t matter. You were the problem but you’re not. I mean not now. Well, not ever, really, I just made you into the problem. But you weren’t, because you’re you, and you’re my soulmate, and even if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be the problem, because there isn’t a problem. But now there’s even less of a problem.”
Chat Noir was looking at her as though he was no longer quite sure that the suit protected one from a concussion; but he was too polite to say anything. Because of course he was. He was always polite. She recognized that expression of polite confusion. She recognized everything, the trace of his face, the shape of his mouth, the focus of his eyes…how she had never seen it, she didn’t know, but now she couldn’t unsee it.
“Did I…do something wrong?” he asked hesitantly.
“No,” she said automatically. “I mean yes. No. Yes! Yes, you did do something wrong!” She put on her best stern face and pointed at the scarf that he was holding in his hands. Claws. Whatever. “You shouldn’t have brought that.”
“My scarf? Why?”
“Because I made that scarf. I’d know my own handiwork anywhere. I made that scarf, and now I know who you are.”
“You…you…what?” he said, eyes widening.
“Ugh…” Marinette said, feeling the urge to go back to hitting her head against the chimney stack. “It’s not even your fault, you couldn’t have known, but this is a goddamn mess. Our identities need to be kept secret for a reason.”
“Wait…but…but if you gave me this scarf…that means…I mean, when Nino told me about the scarf, he all but said that you’re in my class!”
“What?! Nino told you about the scarf?” Marinette said, livid. She had trusted Nino! Chat Noir backed up a step and held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.
“In his defense, he only knew he was talking to Chat Noir,” he said. “And he never mentioned your name, he just told me about the scarf being given in secret because you…liked…me…” he trailed off, then snapped his eyes back to her. “I’ve been in my own way this entire time?!”
“Hence the chimney stack,” Marinette grumbled.
Chat Noir just stared for a few moments, then started laughing.
“But this is great! Neither of us have to be unhappy!”
“Except that we’re in more danger from Papillon now.”
“We’ll get through it,” Chat Noir said, still giddy. “We can get through anything.”
“We’ll have to,” Marinette said, already mentally structuring out multiple contingency plans. “It’s not like we can unknow what we know now. But we’ll need to be extra cautious. Which means keeping things the same between our civilian selves.”
“What? Why?”
“It’d be suspicious if we start getting on like soulmates,” Marinette said. Chat Noir frowned.
“Can’t we tell people that you – civilian you, I mean – are my real soulmate? No one was around for our ‘first contact’, we could pull it off.”
Marinette shook her head.
“No, people would assume we’re lying to justify our relationship, it’s been too long since that moment. And Alya and Nino both know that we aren’t soulmates.”
“But we are,” he said.
“Yes, but until today, I didn’t know that, and Alya and Nino will recognize that. How am I supposed to explain how I didn’t know who my own soulmate was without bringing in our identities as superheroes?”
“That’s…a good point,” he admitted. “Nino wouldn’t care, though.”
“Alya would,” she said. “And besides…did you ever talk to Chloé?”
“I did.”
“How’d she take it?”
“About as well as you would expect from her,” he said. “It took a bit to get there, but she’s accepted it now. But…if she knew it was you…”
“She’d skin me alive,” Marinette said.
“She would try,” he said, and sighed. “So…just one more secret to keep, then?”
“I don’t like it any more than you do. But as long as Papillon is out there, we have no choice.”
“I know. Maybe someday we can tell our friends the truth?”
“Someday,” Marinette agreed.
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.
Alya was delighted, as she usually was, when she opened up her email to find a new message from Chat Noir.
Sorry for the delay, it read. We had to wait for the right weather conditions. =^.^=
Attached was a video. Alya smiled. Oh, she knew they were poking fun at her with this project, but she couldn’t help but enjoy their antics. And if they were spending more time together, that could only help them, right? Maybe Ladybug was right, that it was none of her business, but not only was Alya naturally curious about everything as a journalist, but she wanted to see them happy, too. They had done so much for Paris, and they were so clearly meant to be, more so than any other soulmate pair Alya could think of.
She opened up the video and chuckled to herself as she watched them take “sharing clothes” very literally. She was sure they’d come up with something even sillier for their “suggestion” afterwards, though, and sat forward as she watched with anticipation.
She was surprised to get nothing of the sort.
“Rather than sharing clothes, we suggest sharing…”
The scene changed, and Ladybug and Chat Noir now stood together against a dark sky, their fingers intertwined around the handle of…
“…an umbrella in the rain.”