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Everything had been going well. They’d been cautious – even Chat Noir had been cautious – and vigilant in avoiding getting hit by Speaker’s attacks. They both knew how dangerous her power was to them – though physically harmless, she could force the affected to reveal their deepest secret.
For superheroes who depended on their continued anonymity, this was possibly the most dangerous threat they’d faced yet. If they got hit, nothing could repair the damage done, not even the swarms of magical ladybugs that could extend their reach high above the atmosphere.
So, they were careful. But sometimes careful wasn’t enough. Sometimes, even with everything planned down to the second, things went awry. Sometimes, people miscalculated.
This time, Marinette miscalculated.
The power took hold of her, and she felt words being forced from her throat. She tried to cover her mouth, but her hands were repelled by the force of the magic. She was terrified that in an instant, her identity would be out there for the world to hear.
Marinette couldn’t say that what actually happened was any better, though.
“I fell in love with someone else’s soulmate two days after meeting mine.”
It was as though everything went still in that moment, as absolute horror flooded through her. Behind Speaker, she could see Chat Noir, too late to save her from the Akuma’s power, face twisted up in shock. Guilt, now, was added to her horror.
Speaker’s mouth turned up into a cruel smile.
“Welllll – now isn’t that interesting,” she drawled. “Supposedly great hero Ladybug…but you’re just like all the other Unfaithfuls! All of you deserve to be exposed, so no one else has to deal with the pain of betrayal again!” No longer smiling, she glared down at Marinette. “Now, tell me who…”
Well, never let it be said that having one of her darkest secrets exposed for the world to hear would stop Marinette from doing her job. Her miscalculation had only been a setback, and she was well within range to grab the infected object. Before Speaker could finish her command, Marinette snatched it up and snapped it in two. The only things that could make this situation worse were the exposure of her identity, or ruining Adrien’s life by exposing him as the target of her shameful affections. She wasn’t going to give Speaker the chance of revealing either of those.
She captured the akuma, purified it, and released it, almost mechanically. Retrieving her Charm, she tossed it into the air and released the cure. Then, she made the mistake of looking at Chat Noir.
He was still frozen in shock, but the absolute pain in his eyes cut Marinette to the core.
She turned and fled.
“Oh, Tikki, this is just awful!” Marinette lamented as soon as she detransformed in her room. “All of Paris knows that I’ve betrayed my soulmate! Why can’t I feel the way I’m supposed to?”
“It’s not your fault, Marinette! You can’t help your feelings, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Tikki said, flitting around Marinette in concern.
“You say that, but Chat Noir is my soulmate, Tikki. I’m supposed to fall in love with him. I’ve been hiding the truth from him this entire time because I didn’t want to hurt him. I’ve been telling him that it takes time, but really I had fallen in love with someone else! I’ve felt guilty, of course…but I thought as long as I never acted on it and never told anyone, everything would be okay. But now…now I’ve really hurt him…”
“Marinette, stop it,” Tikki said sternly, flying up in her face. “You are hurting yourself more than anyone else right now. It’s noble of you to worry for Chat Noir’s feelings, but it’s not healthy.”
“But I really feel terrible about this. What kind of person falls in love with someone else after they meet their soulmate? I thought these feelings would fade away after a while, but every time I’m with Adrien…I fall in love all over again. It’s not fair, Tikki. It’s not fair to Chat Noir for me to feel this way.”
“But what about you, Marinette? Is it fair to you to have to deny your feelings for someone else’s sake?”
Marinette didn’t have an answer to that. How was she supposed to explain that the whole situation was wrong to someone who wasn’t human? Did kwamis even have soulmates? She didn’t think so.
She glanced at the clock, and groaned. Lunch time was nearly up – she needed to be back at school soon, and she was dreading it. No doubt Alya had been recording everything from the most recent battle, and if not Alya, then someone else. Either way, everyone at school would know what she had said, and would be talking about it. Marinette was strongly tempted to skip, but she already missed enough class due to her Ladybug duties.
At least she had the comfort of knowing her identity was safe. This scandal would only follow Ladybug, and while Marinette likely wouldn’t be able to entirely avoid discussion of it for a while, she’d be able to get away from it at times.
But not right now. Sure enough, when she reached the classroom, the discussion was raging.
“This is exactly why the soul system sucks,” Nino said, head to head with Alya in the front of the classroom.
“No, it isn’t! You can’t take every hiccup as evidence against soulmates. Ladybug and Chat Noir belong together – if there was ever a better-matched pair, I don’t know it. Ladybug just needs to work through whatever her issue is.”
There were various agreements from others in the class. Marinette felt ill. She knew Alya didn’t mean any harm by it, but her best friend’s eager fascination with soulmates only worsened Marinette’s guilt.
“They both looked devastated, Alya, you can’t tell me that’s not a problem.”
“Of course it’s a problem! The problem is Ladybug having mixed-up feelings, not her and Chat Noir being soulmates!”
“But if they didn’t think they were soulmates, then no one would think that her feelings were “mixed-up” in the first place,” Nino retorted. He looked up and caught sight of Marinette. Immediately, his expression shifted. “Uh…Alya, I think we should continue this conversation later.”
“Afraid to admit you’re wrong?” she teased.
“Not at all,” he said. “Just, uh…” He glanced over at Adrien, seemed reassured that he wasn’t looking, looked back at Alya and jerked his head up slightly, eyes darting to Marinette. Alya turned around. Marinette didn’t meet her eyes.
“Oh…um, yeah, class is about to start, good point, Nino,” she said unconvincingly. They both took their seats, and Marinette followed. Alya looked as though she was trying to think of something to say, but right now, Marinette would prefer that she didn’t. While she appreciated that Alya tried to be understanding of Marinette’s feelings for Adrien, or at least not as harsh on them, she knew how Alya felt about soulmates. At least Alya and Nino had the consideration to stop arguing about the issue in front of her when they knew how it would upset her, even if they had no idea that she was Ladybug.
Come to think of it…why had this been the secret she’d been forced to reveal? Sure, no one knew that Marinette had a soulmate, and no one had known that Ladybug fell in love with someone else’s soulmate, but everyone knew that Ladybug had a soulmate, and more people than she’d like knew that Marinette fell in love with someone else’s soulmate. It wasn’t her most carefully kept secret, her double identity was. Though she was glad it hadn’t been her identity, by all logic, it should have been. Unless she misinterpreted the powers? Perhaps it was not one’s deepest secret, but rather, one’s most shameful or humiliating secret that was revealed. That would make sense – her identity, while certainly her most dangerous secret, wasn’t anything she was ashamed of, whereas her relationship issues…
Tikki said it was nothing to be ashamed of. Nino would probably say the same. But Marinette couldn’t bring herself to agree. She couldn’t help but feel that she’d messed up somehow. And there were few things worse than feeling like a failure, especially where other people were concerned.
Guilt became tinged with anger. She tried to glare at the back of Adrien’s head, because if it weren’t for him, none of this would have happened. But she couldn’t be angry with him for long – none of this was his fault, not really, and he looked thoroughly miserable at the moment.
No, if she was going to get angry with anyone, it was Papillon. If it weren’t for Papillon, her secret wouldn’t have been so cruelly ripped from her. It wasn’t right that he could attack her like this. It wasn’t right that he’d opened up her relationships as a topic for public discussion. He just couldn’t be content with terrorizing the city; he had to humiliate her as well. Damn that man, damn him for hurting her and Chat Noir, damn him for hurting this city, damn him for everything he’d ever done and would continue to do until they could stop him.
If Marinette spent the rest of the school day fantasizing about what she would do to Papillon once she and Chat Noir found him, and rehearsing the strongly worded condemnation she’d deliver while doing so, could anyone really blame her?
Still…she needed to talk to Chat Noir. She owed him an explanation, at the very least.
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.
.
Adrien was not having a good day. To the extent that he wasn’t even sure of his emotional state at the moment. Sometimes he felt angry, but whether at himself or Ladybug, he couldn’t tell. Other times he felt sad. Mostly, he was just confused.
Why?
Why had this happened?
Why did Ladybug…?
He couldn’t finish the thought.
School passed in a haze. He mostly tuned everything out, especially when conversation turned to…well, what had just happened. He went home, and as soon as he had privacy, transformed and went to go run around on the rooftops. To clear his head, he supposed.
He was surprised to find a voicemail from Ladybug. Warily, he pulled it up to listen to.
“Hey,” the voicemail said, no enthusiasm in her voice. “I…I’m sorry for running off before we could talk. We need to. I’ll be on top of Notre Dame at sunset if…you want to hear me out.”
He considered. Could he even talk to Ladybug right now? What would he even say? “Why don’t you love me?” Yeah, sure, that would go over well and didn’t sound completely pathetic at all.
He had some time…he could talk to someone, get some advice, something, anything…before he faced her. He’d get no benefit from talking to someone who would just tell him that things would work out, you’re soulmates, she’ll come around, etc. No, even if he knew he didn’t really want to hear what he had to say, Adrien knew there was only one person who could help him through this.
He rapped at the window, and waited. Nino poked his head out the window, clearly confused.
“Chat Noir?!”
Adrien waved awkwardly in greeting.
“Wow! This is…wow. I mean, what’s a superhero doing at my window?” Nino asked in awe.
“Not feeling like much of a superhero right now, to be honest with you,” Adrien answered. “I assume you’ve heard about what happened today, with me and Ladybug.”
“Yeah,” Nino said, frowning. “And that sucks, man, but where do I come in?”
Adrien really hoped he wasn’t risking his secret identity with this.
“I don’t…really know what to do now. And someone…someone told me that you’d be a good person to talk to.”
“Seriously?” Nino asked. “Me? I mean, I’m flattered, but…well, I don’t know if you know this, but I don’t exactly share the conventional opinion on soulmates. I’m probably not the guy you want to talk to if you want reassurance.”
“I know,” Adrien said. At Nino’s odd look, he quickly backtracked, chuckling nervously. “I mean they told me! My…uh, friend, told me about your thoughts on soulmates. I’m not…I’m not looking for you to sugarcoat things or anything, I just…I need advice. I need to understand why things went wrong. And who better to ask than someone who already thinks the system is broken?”
“Well, I guess,” Nino said, still sounding doubtful. “You can come in if you want.”
Adrien gratefully accepted, climbing in through the window as Nino backed up to make room for him.
“So…what do you want to know?”
“I just want to know why. Why did things go wrong? Why isn’t our soulmate connection working?”
“I can’t say why you and Ladybug, specifically, aren’t working out. I don’t know you guys well enough. I can tell you the general arguments against the system, but where to start…” Nino ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I’ll start with how I got into this in the first place. I didn’t come up with this stuff, you know. It’s kind of a movement of sorts. They call it Noso, short for “no soulmates” in English. I found it through some bands I was listening to. Turns out there’s this whole genre of Noso music. I started looking into the bands more, and eventually found forums and stuff on the Internet. And the more I read…well, it just made sense, you know?”
No, Adrien didn’t know. Well, he knew Nino was into this stuff, but he never knew it came from the Internet. It made sense that Nino found it through music, though.
“I can give you some links if you like. But the main idea is that we put too much emphasis on the soulmate connection. That it’s a self-imposed limitation, that unnecessarily denies people choice and makes us unhappy. Some people will go as far to say that it doesn’t actually exist at all, that it’s all self-delusion.”
“I know that’s not true,” Adrien interrupted. “I know what I felt when meeting Ladybug was a soulmate connection, and I know she felt it too.”
Nino put his hands up in a placating gesture.
“Hey, man, I didn’t say that I believe that. Personally, I think we’d see a lot more Mismatched if it was true. But it’s an idea that’s out there.”
“Sorry,” Adrien said. “But are you saying that it…what I felt, it doesn’t mean anything at all?” The thought bothered him. It had to mean something, right? Ladybug was so, so important to him. Being with her just felt right.
“Not exactly. Uh…some guy on the forums put it really well, I’m trying to remember. Something about how the sounds we make don’t inherently have meaning, different societies came up with different language systems, and we’re able to communicate meaningfully that way. Sorry, I know I’m not doing that justice. It’s the same with the soulmate connection. We feel something, but it’s up to us how to interpret that something.”
“Oookay.”
“Basically, to bring this back to you and Ladybug, you two believe that what you felt indicates you’re fated to have a romantic relationship, right? But there’s no proof that that’s true. For all you know, it could be about your connection as superhero partners, no romance involved. Or it could be entirely random.”
“I don’t see how it could be random. If it was, what would the chances be that it just happened to occur between the two heroes of Paris?” Adrien asked. He and Ladybug were meant to be together, he was sure of that. He could maybe…maybe buy the argument that it represented their partnership, but not that.
“I don’t know, you’d have to ask my friend Max,” Nino said. “The point is…you and Ladybug don’t owe it to each other to be in love, and I think you’re both unhappy because you’re trying to force yourselves to be. Chat Noir…you probably don’t want to answer this, but…would you still be in love with Ladybug if there was nothing to tell you that you had to?”
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. He was certain. He had never felt anything like what he felt for Ladybug, even when he believed that Chloé was his soulmate. Nino didn’t seem convinced, but continued.
“Well…that’s you, I guess. But it doesn’t work out that way for a lot of people. Ladybug’s one of them. There’s nothing wrong with her, or with you for that matter, just…sometimes, soulmates don’t work out. It’s not anybody’s fault.”
“So…there’s nothing I can do?” Adrien asked, feeling an uncomfortable weight in his stomach. Nino shrugged, and looked at him with sympathy.
“It sucks, man. The whole thing sucks. But you’re not the only one who has to deal with soulmate stuff getting all messed up. Here…” Nino ripped some paper from a notebook, scribbled something down, and handed it to Adrien. “Some forums, full of people going through the same thing. You’re not alone.”
“Thanks, Nino,” Adrien said, wanting to hug his friend…but figuring it probably wouldn’t make sense for Chat Noir to do that, he didn’t.
“Anytime, man, anytime. I gotta admire you…it can’t be easy for you to hear this kind of stuff, but you stuck through it.”
“Yeah,” he said. “It isn’t, but…it was what I needed, I think.”
“If you ever need to talk more, I’m here,” Nino offered. “I might not know exactly what you’re going through, but I know how the soul system messes people up. Take my best bud, for instance…”
He could’ve laughed at the irony.
“He’s been locked down with his soulmate since they were babies, practically, and he’s so uncomfortable with her, but stays with her anyway because of this nonsense.”
“Well,” Adrien said tentatively, not wanting to give too much away. “If they met so young, maybe they aren’t…really soulmates?”
Nino shrugged.
“Does it matter, though? Would there be any difference whether they were or they weren’t? They believe that they are, so he’s stuck in a relationship with…well, to put it nicely, the second-worst person I’ve ever met. And unfortunately for him, the first-worst is also someone he can’t get away from, but that’s irrelevant to this conversation.”
Adrien had a strong feeling he knew who Nino was talking about.
“Meanwhile, we have this other friend, and she absolutely adores him. I’m talking like, she’d move heaven and earth for him kind of deal, she’s that into him. And he’s happy when he’s with her, he’s always smiling and enjoying himself, completely different than when he’s with his soulmate.”
This time, Adrien had no clue who Nino was talking about. Move heaven and earth for him? That was a strong claim, and he was tempted to ask, but decided he really shouldn’t pry…he’d only feel guilty in the end.
“They’d be good together, even though they’re not soulmates. They would. But he’d never consider it because he has a soulmate, and she’s constantly berating herself for liking him. Hell, she even snuck an unsigned, handmade birthday present into his locker because she was ashamed of her feelings and felt she couldn’t give it to him directly or even sign her name.”
Adrien remembered that. It was the only birthday present he had gotten (well, Nino had tried to get him a party, but that…didn’t exactly work out). He’d been thrilled, and gladly accepted it, but he’d always been puzzled why it was completely anonymous. Guess he knew the answer to that now. He was even more curious as to who this girl, this friend of his was, who had made him such a nice scarf.
Curiosity killed the cat, he told himself.
But satisfaction…on the other hand, did he really want to know? Would it really make him feel any better to know when he was already in this mess with Ladybug? No…it probably wouldn’t.
“Poor girl,” he said instead.
“Yeah,” Nino said, nodding. “Seeing her earlier, when everyone was talking about you and Ladybug, was nothing short of heartbreaking. She’s in pretty much the same boat as Ladybug, really, except she doesn’t have a soulmate yet, so I’m sure she was taking everyone’s judgement on herself. That’s the sort of person she is.”
She was in his class? He supposed he should have figured that, he didn’t know too many other people…
“It’s all messed up,” Nino said again, softly.
“Yeah…” Adrien said, trailing off. He looked around for the time. “Listen, again, thank you for all this. I’m going to go talk things through with Ladybug in a bit, and I think…I’m more prepared for that now. So…thanks.” He got up to leave.
“Before you go…could I – I hope I’m not being insensitive or anything, but…could I get a selfie with you?” Nino asked hopefully.
How could he possibly turn that down? Putting on his brightest grin, he agreed, and Nino barely contained his excitement as he pulled out his phone, and snapped a picture of the two of them.
“Sweet! Alya’s gonna be jealous.”
Adrien smiled.
“Goodnight, Nino.”
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.
“I’m going out for the evening, see you later,” Marinette called to her parents. They stopped their work and looked up at her.
“Marinette, are you alright?” her mother asked.
“You seem upset,” her father added.
“What? No! What would give you that impression?” Marinette said nervously. What had given her away?
“I’m sure the news and all the talk about Ladybug is bothering you,” her father said. Marinette started to panic. Did they know? They couldn’t know, right? No one knew she was Ladybug, they couldn’t…
“We’ve known for a while about Adrien. Ever since you brought him over, it’s been obvious how you felt about him. I know it can’t be easy for you, to hear judgement on someone in a similar situation to you,” her mother continued.
Oh. Oh, they didn’t know. Thank goodness. Marinette could breathe again. Even if they were disappointed in her for her feelings for Adrien, she at least had her identity safe.
“Yeah…I guess it bothers me a bit,” Marinette admitted, hanging her head. “I know that I shouldn’t feel this way, and everyone talking is just a reminder of that.” What else could she say?
“Marinette,” her mother said. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. And I think there’s something we should have told you a while ago.” She glanced around at the empty shop. “Your father and I…we aren’t soulmates.”
To say that Marinette was shocked would be an understatement.
“You…you aren’t soulmates? But I always thought…you even told me! You’ve told me what it’s like to meet your soulmate.”
Like a plan coming together in the heat of battle, it clicked.
“You’re Unfaithfuls?” Marinette asked in disbelief. That…didn’t seem possible. Her parents were the happiest, most loving couple she had ever seen. They were the paragon of what a soulmate relationship should look like. How could they not be soulmates? Even more than that, how could they be Unfaithfuls?
“Things aren’t always simple,” Tom said. “Of course we’d hoped that it would be easy for you, everyone hopes for the best for their children, we hoped that you would meet your soulmate and go off and be happy and that would be that. It may still happen.”
No, it was too late for that. But her parents couldn’t know that she had already met her soulmate, there would be too many questions she couldn’t safely answer. But Marinette wasn’t focused on that, still reeling.
“We were lucky that we could convince everyone that we were soulmates, we could avoid the stigma and judgment. But for you…” Sabine trailed off. “Well, it’s more difficult. But it’s clear that Adrien means a lot to you, dear, and we want you to be happy. We wanted you to know, no matter what, that we support you.”
“But what…what about your soulmates?” Marinette asked.
“Sometimes…it just doesn’t work out,” Sabine said wistfully. “Nadja and I are still close, of course, but…it wouldn’t have worked, in the long term, if we’d stayed together as soulmates. And I wouldn’t trade Tom for the world.” She gave him a warm, affectionate look, and Marinette felt her spirits rise.
Her parents were happy, despite not being soulmates. They didn’t devastate their soulmates by being with someone else. They didn’t feel ashamed. Maybe…things would be okay.
Marinette thanked both of her parents in turn, and ran out the door. She still had a meeting with a cat, after all.
“What did I tell you?” Tikki said. “Your parents don’t need to be soulmates to be in love with each other, and their soulmates are still important in their lives!”
“You were right, Tikki!” Marinette said. “But I should still talk to Chat Noir, he needs to know that it’s not his fault.”
“You know what to say,” Tikki said, smiling.
Marinette transformed and soared into the evening. Chat Noir was already waiting for her, and looked up at her approach.
“I’m sorry for running away earlier,” Marinette said immediately.
“It’s okay…I don’t think I would’ve been in any state to talk about it then, either.”
“And now?”
“I…” he said hesitantly. “I think so. I was talking with someone, and I think…I think I understand things better now. I definitely feel better after talking with him.”
“It’s the same for me…” Marinette admitted. “I…it’s not your fault, any of this. I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong, I couldn’t ask for a better soulmate.”
“Nor could I,” he said softly. Marinette smiled ruefully.
“Certainly doesn’t seem that way, right now.”
“It’s not your fault, either,” Chat Noir said. “My friend, he said that it isn’t anyone’s fault, when things don’t work out.”
“Your friend sounds pretty smart,” Marinette said. She felt the tension ease from her shoulders. He didn’t blame her, or resent her.
“He is,” he agreed. “This other person…they must really be something, huh?”
“He’s absolutely wonderful,” Marinette said softly. “But you’ll always be my dearest friend and one of the most important people in my life. Nothing will ever change that.” She took his hands in hers. “I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve never gotten involved with this boy, I’ve never been Unfaithful outside my own heart. I would’ve taken my affections to the grave rather than let this hurt you, if it weren’t for Papillon being a pain in our…”
“I understand, Ladybug,” Chat Noir said. “I…I won’t deny that it hurts, but…we all deserve the freedom to find our own happiness, don’t we? If I’d been stuck with the girl I used to believe was my soulmate…well, things would be different, wouldn’t they?”
“I don’t feel stuck with you, kitten.”
“I know.”
“But seriously, I am pissed off at Papillon. What right does he have to get up in my personal business? Now all the talk shows and fansites are going to harp endlessly about us, and discuss our lives, and ask us even more personal questions than they used to, and…”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay! This is an invasion of privacy! We’re superheroes, not…not celebrity idols for public consumption!” She could feel her earlier rage returning, and all of the frustrations that had built up over her career of superheroing blended together and spilled over, bursting forth from her as the stress of the day became the final straw.
“We have lives, and feelings, and you’re going to get dragged into all this and blamed for my ‘problem’, and they have no right to do that. Papillon has no right to…to humiliate me like this! He has no right to take advantage of ordinary people and ordinary emotions and use them to enact his will on this city. He has no right to cause so much pain to us, to this city, to every one of his victims. What kind of a person does this? What kind of a person could possibly think this is acceptable? A goddamn coward, that’s who, a coward who hides behind innocent hostages he forces to commit his crimes. And for what? For what? What does he even want out of all this? What could he possibly gain from our Miraculouses? Why is he doing this?”
Her words hung in the air, the world feeling strangely silent after she took a breath. Chat Noir squeezed her hands comfortingly. Marinette took another deep breath, calming herself.
“I am this close to investigating whether voodoo dolls work,” she grumbled. “He doesn’t play fair, neither will I.”
“I suppose it’s not out of the realm of possibility,” Chat Noir said mildly. “I mean, we have magical jewelry, why couldn’t there be enchanted dolls out there, too?”
“Don’t tempt me, or I will end up making one. Even if it’s just stress relief and doesn’t actually harm Papillon. Just…stab him a little after every Akuma attack. Might discourage him.”
Chat Noir’s mouth quirked up into a small smile. Marinette couldn’t help but return it. She closed her eyes, and leaned her head against him.
“Thank you for always being here for me,” she said. “I’m sorry that things happened this way, but I wouldn’t trade you as my soulmate for the world. I would’ve given the world to be the soulmate you needed, too.”
“You already are, my Lady. No matter what.”